One time on Opie and Anthony, Patrice O’Neal said, “A beautiful 35-year-old ain’t as as good lookin’ as an ugly 19-year-old.” And because that might be the most brilliant thing anyone anywhere has ever said ever, keep it in... READ MORE

Holly Madison doesn’t seem like someone with much of a sense of humor, like someone who would be entertaining or fun to hang out with, so this should work out nicely because the same could be said for Russell... READ MORE

Jessica Biel and her dork boyfriend went jogging along the Chelsea Pier yesterday, and OH MY God what a surprise it is that Justin runs like a nerd. Jessica looks like a fitness model on the cover of a... READ MORE

This would have been up sooner but after reading the headline my erection punched the bottom of the desk at about 900 miles per hour, and it turns out that when your penis violently crashes into 500 pounds of... READ MORE

LAPD investigated a burglar alarm yesterday at the home of Lindsay Lohan, and after they waded through the mess and broken debris left behind, they discovered that the burglar never actually made it into the house and that Lindsay... READ MORE

Are pictures of Ashley Tisdale in a bikini a big deal? If so that is so sad I don’t even wanna think about it. The picture source (mavrix) said why she was in Miami and I started to read... READ MORE

Along with Kelly Monaco, Mel B is the co-headliner of “Peep Show”, and I'm not sure if I’ve ever written anything nice about Mels body, but if so I need to write it again but this time in all... READ MORE

Kelly Brook spent the weekend n Barbados, where she pranced off the beach and into my heart, reclaiming her title as the hottest girl on earth.  But she’s not a very good swimmer.  She’s clearly drowning in some of... READ MORE

Willis of course married Emma Heming over the weekend, or, as the Sun UK points out, another way to say that would be that Bruce Willis married former Victoria’s Secret catwalk model Emma Heming over the weekend. Gorgeous Emma... READ MORE

Megan Fox looks like a shampoo commercial even just running around doing errands, in this case stopping by the school of Brian Austin Green’s son and getting some coffee. They’re not reconciling according to reports, so there’s still an... READ MORE