Britney Spears hasn't been Britney Spears since she had a psychotic break and began living on a healthy diet of Lithium-laced grits, but her fans still hold out hope that the lip-syncer is mere moments away at any given time... READ MORE

Here's Spears in the looks "Sex-trafficked teen" and "Slutty Ohio mom." READ MORE

Spears now fades back into her life of suburban motherhood and dating questionable men her handlers convince her are refreshingly nice guys during their nightly upload into the chip implanted in her forebrain.

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You know it's going to be a good day when Britney Spears' handlers sprinkle out a trail of Zoloft to lure her in front of the cameras to sing live. The inexplicably still up and running Spears sports the... READ MORE

Britney Spears gave the art world the wake-up call it desperately needed when she painted a breathtaking field of flowers as it would appear on a sheet of stickers. The original video of Spears creating her mentally incapacitated fantasy is what... READ MORE

Britney Spears delivers the only funny Saturday Night Live skit I've seen in ten years in a new Instagram video demonstrating her surprising comedic chops. Or, she's proving that she's thriving with a severe mental handicap and should be applauded... READ MORE

I wonder what level of confused you have to be when washed up celebrity singer Britney Spears becomes your sole sense of security after a mass shooting. 

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Britney Spears might not be invited to mingle with the who's who of drug addicts at fashion week events happening around the world, but that isn't stopping her from putting on a manic dead-eyed fashion show of her own... READ MORE

Britney manages to remind us that most other people who would have made the same mistakes she did don't have an empire of cash as a safety net to land on. The expenses of her dogs are higher than... READ MORE

The bar for celebrity heroism is relatively low. Also, objectively low. A staunch Tweet against the alt-right, a donation of nearly 1/2500th of your annual income to flood victims in Houston, or posting make-up free on Instagram. 

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