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Eva Longoria Also Had an Epic Response, So Epic, Her Vagina Inhaled Her Pants

July 29, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria chastised journalists of the lifestyle section of an Australian newspaper for claiming she pretends to need glasses simply to push some designer eyewear to not necessarily Hispanic women at the 99-Cent store. If you had done your journalistic... READ MORE

Eva Longoria in A Bikini

July 8, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria has an enviable life. Especially if you like rich Latin dick. I mean rich as in wealthy, not tasty. That seems rather subjective. In the upcoming edition of InStyle magazine, Eva declares she wants to be the next... READ MORE

Eva Longoria Compares Trump to Hitler

July 2, 2015 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

In an ingeniously clever bit of rhetoric, Eva Longoria deftly invoked the specter of Adolf Hitler when discussing Donald Trumps remarks about Mexico pushing their rapists and drug dealers across the border into the U.S. In an instant, the... READ MORE

Eva Longoria in A White String Bikini

December 9, 2014 | bikini | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The sooner you teach your kids that smiling for the public then being a monster in private is the winning formula, the sooner you can assure they aren’t living in their football banner covered rooms at twenty-eight. If animals... READ MORE

Eva Longoria’s New Movie Must Really Suck (VIDEO)

September 5, 2014 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live for a haphazard cooking segment designed to promote her new illegal immigration themed movie that absolutely nobody will ever see. Publicists who think in precisely two dimensions got the bright idea for... READ MORE

Eva Longoria Rides Her Bike Looking for Cock

August 26, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria is pretty genius. You wouldn’t know from hearing her mind numbing political platitudes. But just like a sinister dude, she set up a whole reality dating show with NBC last year so she could cast a bunch... READ MORE

as expected, Eva Longoria has a really nice ass

September 21, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Wouldn’t it be great if there was a book that had pictures of Usher asleep in a fancy hotel? And what if that book only cost $50? You’d jump on a deal like that, right? Of course you would,... READ MORE

that’s perfect Eva Longoria, don’t move

June 15, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria is in Monte Carlo today to promote ‘Desperate Housewives’ during the 52nd Monte Carlo TV Festival, though that was probably obvious as soon as you saw her titty-fucking a giant gold statue with her head. There’s no... READ MORE

Eva Longoria is single

March 9, 2012 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Eva Longoria and Eduardo Cruz (Penelopes brother) have broken up after dating for a little over a year. He’s already run home to Madrid, though things are said to be cordial between them and no reason was given for... READ MORE

Eva Longoria stuffs her bra

August 19, 2011 | Uncategorized | editor| 0 Comments

Most people think working on a fancy TV show would be really glamourous. Here’s the reality; Eva Longoria on the set of ‘Desperate Housewives’ yesterday, standing by a trash can and stuffing her bra with kleenex. Or at least... READ MORE

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