Spencer Pratt Grooming Newborn For Celebrity Rehab

October 11, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

“You’re not a good parent if you’re not trying to get your son set up to potentially get a $250 million gig, If doctors were getting paid $250 million, we’d hit the books hard, but currently that’s not the reality.”

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Heidi Montag Glowing

August 16, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Heidi Montag is milking her larvae for all it’s worth by posing for anyone who gets wet thinking about a pregnant mangled Barbie. The reality television sensation opens up to blog The Fullest about being an international joke. Montag also beaches herself on Beyoncé’s discarded Insta pregnancy pic wreath for a photo shoot that answers the question “What can you do with a fifteen dollar art budget?” The answer: “Not a whole fucking lot.”

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Heidi Montag Knows Her Place

June 5, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

The people who make their living being human zoo exhibits, the good ones at least, have a distinct understanding of their character. The Kardashians play to their slutty sisters type. The Housewives get loaded and leave their tampon strings visible in short skirts.

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Heidi Montag With Child

April 12, 2017 | celebrity | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt would eat a litter of puppies if they thought it would land them a sentence in Parade Magazine. Instead, they’re having a kid.

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Spencer Pratt Jiu-Jitsu Beast

September 5, 2016 | Uncategorized | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

There aren’t many serious douchebags who ever turn things around. It’s worth noting so that you can wait pointlessly for every other asshole you know to someday be your best friend.

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3rd Annual Reality TV Awards Happened

May 15, 2015 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Apparently there’s something called the Reality TV Awards. Most people try to obscure the dirty places they earn their money, but reality television has decided to celebrate. ISIS will never attack such events even though reality television is the epitome of all they find infidel with Western culture. Booze, excess, harlots, sodomy, and worship of […]

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Heidi Montag Had Her Giant Breasts Reduced

November 30, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Having never actually been talented or had a reason to be famous, Heidi Montag once had a ton of cosmetic work done so people would think she was really attractive, and that included having her breasts enlarged as if they were made by Reebok and her nipples had “PUMP” printed across them. Meanwhile, she apparently […]

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Why the Long Face, Heidi Montag?

November 20, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

In case you were wondering what hapless reality TV dipshits Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt were up to, and I know that you really were, they just got home from a swank vacation in Cabo, where they undoubtedly got away from the troubles of nobody giving a flying rat’s ass about them. Heidi, of course, […]

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Heidi Montag Is Cutting Back

November 1, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Heidi Montag is about to lose a third of her fame and talent by getting breast reduction surgery. The vapid fame and beauty chaser once got ten Barbie Doll style plastic surgeries in one day, some of which were to give her size F yabbos. That’s show stopping stripper range cup letters. It turns out […]

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Heidi Montag And Spencer Pratt To Have Aura Baby

October 17, 2013 | celebrity | Brendon| 0 Comments

Useless potato people Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are trying to conceive a baby. Wait, before you slit your wrists to opt out of the coming of the devil spawn they would produce, it’s not a real baby. It’s an aura baby. What in the name of holy fuck is an aura baby? Let’s let […]

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