The town of Longview, TX paid Ted Nugent a deer carcass full of money to NOT appear at a city function. The Motor City nut job was scheduled to play Cat Scratch Fever or whatever at the Maude Cobb... READ MORE

Sometimes I feel bad about all the shit we lay on Canada. They’re like the methodically abused house pet of the redheaded step child. It’s hard for Canada to find an identity living there in America’s attic poaching the... READ MORE

When you’re a 20-something pretend Spanish yoga teacher and you marry old Alec Baldwin, you probably think you’re finally going to get the recognition first promised by your touchy middle school dance teacher. But Alec isn’t exactly about promoting... READ MORE

The Vatican received a special package containing 14 condoms filled with 340 grams of cocaine. I guess somebody didn’t read the Catholic Church’s position on the use of rubbers. I remember being told in Catholic school that condoms would make... READ MORE

With every new song release from her ARTPOP album, Lady Gaga dons the dental hygienist face guard as the natural reaction of casual radio listeners will be to want to shit in her eyes. Her latest release is entitled... READ MORE

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It’s definitely possible that the site of Tish Cyrus’ ass melting down her legs caused Bret Michaels brain to spontaneously hemorrhage. I myself just shit a raisin that I consumed back in second grade snack period. I can already... READ MORE

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are currently suing YouTube founder Chad Hurley because they believe that since their engagement video was leaked online, they lost out on a lot of money that they could have received from selling it,... READ MORE

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Justin Bieber makes the same stupid, confused face in every picture he takes, as he looks like a cross between a guy who hasn’t taken a shit in 20 years and someone who can’t find his car in a... READ MORE