“Three points for Gryffindor!”

By brendon April 21, 2011 @ 5:00 PM

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You know how, in the Harry Potter movies, when they were in class, Hermione Granger would always have the answer whenever the teacher asked a question? Okay well now picture that but with Hermione looking vaguely lesbian, because Emma Watson, who of course played Hermione, has been attending Brown University for the past years, and…

A source says Watson didn’t shy away from class participation and often would “answer something in class and get it right,” calling the 21-year-old actress “really smart.” Unfortunately, this brought out the sophisticated wit and cinematic expertise of her Ivy League peers.
According to the source, her classmates “would respond [to her answer] with a quote from ‘Harry Potter.’” The most popular choice was “Three points for Gryffindor!”

Oh that poor girl. This is upsetting, I can’t believe that college students were making jokes that were juvenile and stupid. I don’t appreciate that kind of humor.

(NOTE: I apologize for the lack of posting today, btw. I have some kind of food poisoning, I’ve spent the day shivering and sweating, and twice I died. Once for 8 minutes. That can’t be good for you.)

Demi Lovato is bi-winning too

By brendon April 21, 2011 @ 2:35 PM

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Apparently there’s some fantasy world where people who seek help for a mental illness are openly taunted and beaten up, because when Catherine Zeta Jones announced that she was bi-polar last week, Demi Lovato went on twitter and said…

“I don’t know Catherine Zeta-Jones personally but what she has decided to do it SO brave. It’s SO difficult but worth it… I’m proud of her.”

Guess why she wants to stress how amazing that sort of thing is.

Demi Lovato is bravely opening up about her private struggles – not only with anorexia and bulimia, but also with bipolar disorder.
“I never found out until I went into treatment that I was bipolar,” Lovato told PEOPLE.
“Looking back it makes sense. There were times when I was so manic, I was writing seven songs in one night and I’d be up until 5:30 in the morning.”

Granted that doesn’t sound so bad on the surface, but all seven songs were about murdering Ashley Greene.

Lindsay saved her career (unless she goes to jail tomorrow)!

By brendon April 21, 2011 @ 12:42 PM

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Even though yesterday the producer said that Lindsay Lohans “management team” (that’s her mom, btw) was too difficult to deal with and he wasn’t gonna cast her in his shitty, almost-certainly-never-going-to-be-made movie about John Gotti, today is a new day and a new desperate attempt to stay in the press, and so now she will be in the “movie”, unless she goes to jail for six months, starting tomorrow.

Lohan’s preliminary hearing will proceed on Friday as planned, a source told Radar, despite the fact that the starlet invoked the Christian holy day of Good Friday as an excuse to postpone.
Friday’s hearing is expected to last most of the day, and Judge Stephanie Sautner banned cameras inside her courtroom.  The hearing could help determine whether there’s enough evidence for a trial.

It’s been said that Judge Sautner is extremely tough on repeat offenders, and if she decides there’s enough evidence for a trial, she will almost certainly also declare that Lindsay violated her probation and send her to jail, immediately, for up to six months. At this point her best bet is to kill herself and just roll the dice that gets reincarnated as someone good.

Kirstie Alley says shes a size 6

By brendon April 20, 2011 @ 5:08 PM

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Extra interviewed Kirstie Alley on the set of Dancing With The Stars, and presumably she was talking abut her foot because she said she’s a size 6. She does know we can see her, right?

The actress also revealed, “I haven’t weighed myself in the last four weeks.” The slimmed-down actress may not know her weight, but she does have a goal in mind. “I bought these dresses from a [size] twelve to a two. Tonight I’m a six. When I’m a two, I’m done, people!”

Oh, hey, I guess I was wrong. I can see the tag on her pants. It has a big “6″ on it, written by hand with a Sharpie. They’re from Blank Tag Warehouse, and are made of elastic, elastic, industrial elastic, and elastic dyed blue.

Catherine Zeta Jones is back at work

By brendon April 20, 2011 @ 3:21 PM

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Just 7 days ago, Catherine Zeta Jones was so depressed and overwhelmed that she checked into a mental health facility to be treated for a bipolar disorder. It was so bad she even turned down a People magazine cover story when they asked to interview her about it. Oh wait never mind.

(Jones) realized she needed help in the face of mounting depression.
“The simple things would just seem overwhelming, like going out to dinner,” says the close friend. “There was just a little piece of her chipped away. It was hard to watch because I knew how hard she was trying.”

Now, just one week later, not only is she back at work in Louisiana filming a movie called Playing the Field, but she’s agreed to join Tom Crusie, Alec Baldwin, and Russell Brand in Rock of Ages.

To recap, she was depressed but now she has an almost manic energy and focus. In other words she wasn’t really paying attention when they explained what bipolar means.

(image source = splash news)

Lindsay Lohan has been dropped by that Gotti movie

By brendon April 20, 2011 @ 2:12 PM

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Well knock me down with a feather, why don’t you.

“We are not talking any further about Lindsay playing Victoria,” says Marc Fiore, producer of Gotti: Three Generations. “She is no longer being considered. The talks have stopped. We are going to meet with other people [for the role].”
So is Lohan just too expensive and troublesome to insure with all of her past legal troubles?
“She a wonderful person,” he tells PEOPLE. “Her legal case has nothing to do with it. We just couldn’t reach terms.”

From the very beginning this whole thing has been about the producer getting attention for himself, this is a straight to DVD type movie at best, but it would be awesome if what he said is true. If Lindsay was still making ridiculous demands. I sort of believe it. That’s why her bigest role in 5 years has been on a surveillance video.

Jennifer Lopez is an asshole

By brendon April 20, 2011 @ 1:21 PM

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Jennifer Lopez was at the Best Buy on Pico Blvd in LA yesterday to sign copies of her new album, which, as you probably already guessed, is why she brought a 12 (that we can see) person entourage in matching black and white suits. A lot of accidents happen because people get careless and tempt fate by trying to write their name all by themselves.

(image source = splash news)

Charlie Sheen is still a boring old drunk

By brendon April 20, 2011 @ 12:13 PM

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Charlie Sheen still has another 9 tour dates planned for his Torpedo of Truth tour, and if there’s a city on there that wants to hear a bitter washed up drunk sit still and mumble, he should be all set.

Last night he was on stage in DC, while everyone else was in the parking lot on the way home. The Washington Post says the, “crowd quaked with catcalls whenever Sheen wasn’t talking about doing drugs or manhandling women”, and when he tried to get profound…

“SHUT THE [EXPLETIVE] UP AND SAY SOMETHING WEIRD,” someone yelled.

TMZ said…

Charlie Sheen’s got another bomb on his hands — our spies in D.C. tell us people are pouring out of his show early tonight.

And the Washington Times wrote…

Throughout the evening, attendees boo’ed, left the auditorium, and screamed for Sheen to “be funnier.”

So apparently the nicest thing that can be said about this is that, in that last review, if you crossed out some of the words and only read is, “attendees boo’ed … and screamed”, it sort of makes it sound like a haunted house.