Lindsay Lohan has been in a downward spiral for a few years, but yesterday she got a bunch of collagen injected into her lips to compliment her stringy hair and went shopping for three hours in a closed store. This could the turning point that gets her back on track. Jesus told his knights that happiness comes from material possessions and superficial changes, so this new and improved Lindsay will be a real dynamo I bet. A “Super Lindsay”, if you will.
James Cameron hasn’t made a movie since “Titanic” in 1997, and what he’s been working on since then (mostly) is “Avatar”. Much to the delight of nerds everywhere, the trailer finally premiered online today. I’m not sure what the hell it’s talking about, but it is awesome to look at, so in that sense it’s like this girl named Angie I used to date in college. Will a night with the movie be as satisfying? Let’s hope so. And if you think you’re surprised by the twists this story takes, look at that dude in the background. He can’t even fuckin believe it.
(watch the trailer over here or in HD here)
Beyonce is in Croatia today (wait what) and she went for an ocean swim in a little bikini despite the fact that she said in a recent interview that “she feels insecure about her body offstage.” (source = the sun)
And it’s no wonder. The other rap guys must give Jay Z hell above his womans flat stomach and human sized ass. And why are her hips in line with her shoulders? Women should be built like an iceberg, from the chest down they should just get wider and wider and wider. And wider. And wider and wider. And wider. Wider. Rawr, I’m gettin all hot just thinkin about it!
I’m not entirely sure how someone could lay out poolside at a hotel in Los Angeles and yet the only pictures of it are in newspapers from London, but that’s what Kelly Brook and her boyfriend whose name I’m not going to learn did yesterday. I also don’t know what he’s doing here, but it’s exactly what I would be doing 35 hours a day. “Oh no I slipped again. Clumsy me! Luckily your huge breasts were there to cushion me.” I wouldn’t go ten steps without falling into her big awesome tits. If you saw us on a date you’d think I just landed here from some other planet with half the gravity.
Samantha Burke is the girl who will have another kid for Jude Law in about two months, the one who posted some Adult-Friend-Finder-worthy pictures of herself two weeks ago, but just because they’re not together anymore doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings for her. Or at least he might if he could remember who she was.
A close friend of Samantha’s tells E! exclusive details of the brief relationship between Law and the aspiring model. It all started once upon a time in a club:
“She met him at a club in New York,” says the friend. “He was sick, so she kept going to his hotel over the course of a week to take care of him.”
“Jude didn’t even remember her. She hasn’t seen him since New York. They’ve only been in contact through their lawyers.”
In this girls defense, she could almost certainly sell a story like this to the tabloids but so far she hasn’t. If they’ll carry on this way about John WhoTheFuckIsThat Gosselin for 6 months they could get at least a month out of her. Jude would be wise to make her happy, whatever that might cost. Believe me, you don’t want some model you banged coming up to your table while you have dinner with a new model, pulling up her shirt and screaming about “the baby.” Believe me I know. Be-lieve me. Really awkward.
Leann Rimes hasn’t had the greatest press in the world over the past few months, but if she thought walking around LA in some scandalous top was gonna help she was sadly mistaken. I don’t think it would kill her to get some huge implants or at least brush her goddamn hair. She sure as hell needs to color it, because as it is she looks like that flying dog thing from Never Ending Story (this).
It’s hard to even guess which one might be more insulted by that.
Considering how rich he is I always thought Kanye could do better than Amber Rose. She’s not that good looking and her haircut makes her look like she’s from the future, and she has that big ass which I find disgusting but I guess black guys love. The point to all this is that she looked surprisingly good yesterday on the beach in Miami. And by that I mean, “tits”.
This story is so fucked up it’s almost hard to comprehend. Thankfully TMZ writes at a level where you expect the story to have pop-up dinosaurs in it or furry swatches over drawings of a dog. The cliff notes are this:
- The body of a one-time Playboy model named Jasmine Fiore (above, right) was found in a trash bin, stuffed inside a suitcase, in Buena Park last Saturday morning.
- The suspect is a man named Ryan Jenkins, who was a finalist on the VH1 dating show, “Megan Wants a Millionaire.”
- The shows finale has not aired, but Jenkins was reportedly cut near the end. After he was cut, he went to Vegas, met Jasmine in a strip club, and married her two days later.
- Surprisingly, Jasmines roommate says their relationship was “on the rocks”. She also said that Jenkins told her he was “done with the relationship” and that “he couldn’t take it anymore”. This was one day after Jasmine was found in a dumpster.
- Jenkins is still on the run, and may be fleeing to Canada.
WENN had these pictures of Jasmine. She’s not very attractive, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to kill her. Legally, I mean.