kelly brook bikini pictures, day 2

By brendon June 29, 2010 @ 9:37 AM

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Kelly Brook spent a second day in Barbados, this time in a green bikini, and the last few days have been magical because I almost have enough pictures to finally turn Tyler into the Kelly Brook fan page I’ve always dreamed of. IHeartKelly.com will be a lot like the old Tyler, except with nothing but pictures of Kellys tits, and way more sentences that end abruptly in the middle of a thought because I need to hop in the shower and rinse that stuff off.

megan fox got married

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 11:53 PM

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Star is reporting tonight (and TMZ is now confirming) that Megan Fox got married to that guy she dates late last week in Hawaii. That guy she dates just pulled off the biggest upset since I won that underground no-rules karate tournament in Hong Kong last year. Hi-Ya!

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green tied the knot late last week in Hawaii, a source tells Star exclusively!
“They had a fairly large wedding, but there were clearly more security people than guests! They had so many security people that they had to call in local security because the hotel security alone wouldn’t do. It was very hush hush. Everyone was sworn to secrecy.”
The location of the wedding — which took place Thursday or Friday — was the Four Seasons Hualalai at Historic Ka’upulehu on the big island of Hawaii.
“The place is perfect for a Hollywood wedding,” says the source. “It’s very romantic and scenic. Megan and Brian had already been there for a few days. It seemed like a spur of the moment thing. I don’t think it had been planned long.”
And the couple has been in no rush to leave.
“Megan and Brian are still there at the hotel, relaxing,” says the source. “They’re now celebrating their honeymoon.”

Aww man that’s so great. So romantic. They should go for a nice romantic dive while they’re there. See all the pretty fish and coral. Out there on a boat. In international waters. First I just need to switch Brians air tank for a propane tank, then I need to find a way to make a spark.

monday afternoon headlines

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 8:27 PM

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MEL GIBSON – wants his ex girlfriend to produce some evidence to back up her claims, especially the one saying she has dental records proving he knocked out two of her teeth. And I want my ex girlfriend to produce some evidence that she got stationed in Germany. She’s not even in the military as far I know. (radar)

TOY STORY 3 - ruled yet again this weekend, earning another 59 million (total is now 227m). ‘Grown Ups’ was in second place with 40 mill, but ‘Knight and Day’ only made 20.5 million. That movie had a cutesy yet meaningless title, a recycled plot and Cameron Diaz. In hindsight maybe I should say it made an astounding 20.5 million. (bom)

STEVE CARELL – has confirmed that he will leave ‘The Office’ after next season, but the show will continue without him. Seems risky, but personally, I’m 100 percent confident that the show won’t get any less funny. (e!)

KELLY BROOK - is still in Barbados, in the same bikini, but these are new pictures. It’s nice really because this is like a hundred pictures now and I can edit them together and make a little movie. (splash)

sandra bullock is officially single

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 4:21 PM

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4 months ago Jesse James was married to a beautiful actress, the most popular woman in Hollywood, and he had full access to her hundreds of millions of dollars.

A lot can happen in 4 months as it turns out.

Sandra Bullock has finalized her divorce from husband of nearly five years Jesse James Us magazine has learned.
The documents are sealed.
Despite James’ infidelities, a source recently said the two are on speaking terms.
“Jesse would not relocate his family to Austin without consulting with her. This has been in the works for a while.”
Added the source, “He’d like to reconcile.”

I bet Sandra will be really touched by the way Jesse followed her across the country and moved to her hometown. Ex-girlfriends love that. They love being hunted.

chris brown cries like a girl

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 3:18 PM

Chris Brown performed a Michael Jackson tribute last night at the BET Awards, though a more accurate way to describe it would be to say that he cried uncontrollably while wandering aimlessly around the stage. What an asshole this guy is. This was supposed to be an entertainment extravaganza. Way to waste everyone’s time dickhead. Be a professional for Christs sake. Poor sweet Chris was so sad about the pedophile that he couldn’t sing any of Michaels shitty music that doesn’t stand the test of time anyway so who gives a shit. To be honest I got a little choked up too, but then I remembered I wasn’t a little girl holding my dolly and watching ‘Bridge to Terabithia’.

kelly brook bikini pictures are way better now

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 12:56 PM

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Kelly Brook was in Barbados over the weekend (more here) and in these pictures her perfect body is in a fantastically small bikini, paddling around the water, wrapped up inside the legs of another girl who would occasionally grind her hips forward into Kelly who was dripping wet. In very much related news, my penis refused to get hard when I tried to masturbate for the ninth time in the last 5 minutes, so I had to force it. I had to rape my own penis. It can’t press charges, can it? Won’t it be my word against my penis?

(source = splash news online)

jessica is on a crash diet

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 11:08 AM

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For a year or so, Jessica Simpson has been on a quest to look as unattractive as possible, but last night on her twitter she mentioned a radical new diet. She also confirmed that she’s still dumb as a rock.

“Shocked my system with a vegan diet, special Pu-erh tea from China, and cupping since friday! Who am I right now? This might be too clean!”
“Has anyone ever tried cupping? When u know you are doing something good for ur body the meditation creates intense visions. Love it!”

“Cupping” means suctions cups are placed on her skin to treat stagnant blood and improve her qi flow. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it. (note: I’m lying of course.)

“Just so everyone is clear.. this has NOTHING to do with weight! It is about understanding my body through hydration and alkalinity…”

This seems like a really good idea, especially if you want people to call you crazy. I’ve been to a hundred doctors, and not one of them has ever told me I wasn’t getting enough suction cup.

kelly brook bikini pictures

By brendon June 28, 2010 @ 9:33 AM

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Physically perfect Kelly Brook spent the weekend in Barbados, but it kind of sucks because there are only a few bikini pictures and they’re kind of blurry.
Luckily she’ll be in Playboy in a month or so. It’s so exciting to see her career take on this new challenge, to see her express herself this way. It reminds me of the challenge I faced when I left my boy band. I don’t want to be known as just a great dancer, I want my music to make a difference, you know what I mean.

UPDATE – more pictures from this trip here and here and here.

(source = splash news online)