this is not helping

By brendon November 17, 2009 @ 12:15 PM


It was mentioned last week that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt had only been seen together once since August 10th, and that was almost two months later on October 2nd. Twice in three months. So the good news is they were out together this weekend! The bad news is they looked absolutely fukcing miserable together  :(

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt left their six children at home Saturday as they enjoyed a private viewing of The Museum of Contemporary Art’s new 30th anniversary exhibition in Los Angeles.
The 34-year-old Jolie, in a strapless Armani Prive gown, and Pitt, 45, didn’t pack on the PDA like they normally do for photographers.
Instead, they walked around the gallery — occasionally leaving each other’s side to look at pieces on their own.

Well, that probably doesn’t mean anything. Angelina probably just wanted to see the picture. And crossing her arms and looking grimly forward while leaning away from Brad is just a sign she was listening to the tour guide. Girls like to be pursued. Saying “no”, quitting their job, dying their hair and buying a gun: it’s all part of the chase!

NOTE – this post was guest written by Not Getting The Hint Brendon

monday afternoon headlines

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 7:47 PM


DAVID LETTERMAN – is denying a report in the Enquirer that his wife has thrown him out of the house as a result of the affairs he admitted to last month. If she does try to kick him out, he should give her a book about Scott Peterson.  Remind her what’s up. (wonderwall)

NICOLE RICHIE – is married to Joel Madden, and has been for some time although no one knew it until today. Probably because no one gives a shit. (radar)

GIRLS KISSING – will never ever get old. At least until I die, and even then it will depend on where their hands are and if they’re using tongue or not. (college humor)

JANET JACKSON – holds Dr. Conrad Murray responsible for her brothers death because Murray gave Michael a powerful anesthetic shortly before he died. In an interview that will air Wednesday, she also says she thinks about him everyday. Especially last week when she raped a little boy. (popeater)

ELIZA DUSHKU – is sexy as hell, as you can see in some recent twitter pictures and by the thong she flashed while preparing for a bike ride with bf Rick Fox. He’s 6’7”, btw, and she’s 5’5”, so Eliza must be pretty easily relaxed. I’m 6’5” and I dated a girl who is 5’3”. During sex she looked like a unicorn.

brace yourself for boredom

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 6:35 PM


‘High School Musical’ star Ashley Tisdale is in Mexico today, and sites like Tyler are pretty much obligated to post pictures like this, so I apologize. She’s so GD boring. She’s not ugly, she’s not pretty, her body isn’t good but it’s not awful either. She’s completely average in every way. I doubt I could even get an erection with this dull mess, and I’m a serial rapist who targets blonds. Oh crap, I only meant to think that, not type it. Anyone know how to delete a post on wordpress? Please email me right away if you do.

(source = flynet online and splash news online)

‘fight club’ turns 10 tommorow

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 5:37 PM


‘Fight Club’ is unquestionably the best movie ever made, and tomorrow, finally, it comes out on Blu-Ray and a special DVD to celebrate its 10th anniversary. In high school me and my friends used to get together and fight for no reason other than to do it, and that was before this was even a movie, so maybe that’s why it still resonates with me. I mean we didn’t actually punch each other, because I would have been frightened and I didn’t have any friends, but on Friday night I would make popcorn balls with my mom, and she would send me to my room if I ate too many and then I would kick my stuffed animals, so in that sense it was still very much like ‘Fight Club’.

I’m supposed to have some copies of this to give away tomorrow so I guess I’ll think up some kind of contest for that. Until then, here are picture of sexy/shirtless Brad Pitt to make you feel bad about yourself, even if you are actually Brad Pitt.

shannan click knows how to model

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 3:20 PM


Shannan Click is a Victorias Secret model, and while I very much appreciate her taking her clothes off, the only Victorias Secret models I truly want to see naked are Alessandra Ambrosio and Marisa Miller. This chick is too flat chested. It makes her look 13. Which means it would be like 2 years before she and I could even do it, so what’s the point in getting all worked up.

(nsfw pics under the ‘read more’)

Read more >

brock lesnar is seriously ill, may never fight again

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 2:58 PM


UFC news probably doesn’t belong on a page like this, but this is a big deal so I don’t really give a shit. If you don’t know, Brock Lesnar is a former WWE superstar and the current UFC heavyweight champion, and his fight this Saturday had to be postponed after he was diagnosed with mono last week. Now it seems things are much worse than that. The LA Times says…

Lesnar has been diagnosed with a “serious” illness and expects to be out of action for an extended period.
UFC owner Lorenzo Fertitta would say only that the organization is granting Lesnar’s request for privacy.
“It’s bad,” UFC president Dana White said. “It’s real bad. I am worried about it. I can’t really talk about it right now, but [Lesnar] is in rough shape.”

In another report, White said, “He doesn’t have cancer or AIDS or anything like this, (but) he’s got some problems.” In a third report, White says he, “is very very sick (and) will require major surgery.” Even with that, “There’s a possibility Lesnar will never fight again.”

This disease or whatever he has must be from outer space because Lesnar is an animal. I thought he would just call any virus a fag and then chop down trees with the side of his hand or something until his white blood cells kicked it’s ass. Frankenstein could ride a triceratops into a cage with Lesnar and 3 minutes later Brock would walk out wearing a dinosaur horn as a hat.

lindsay really loves coke

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 12:58 PM

Lindsay Lohan has only bothered to complete about half of the requirements in her probation after a 2007 DUI arrest, and last month a judge told her she would go to jail if she continued to “thumb her noise” at the court.

In a related story, Lindsay stole two bottles of champagne while at Crown Bar last week (story here), and up top is a video captured by X17 Online of Lindsay in a bathroom this weekend with Brandon “Firecrotch” Davis while he appears to do coke. Using her quick legal mind, Lindsay went on twitter and denied she was there.

“hahaha x17online posted photos of NOT ME inside someone’s bathroom…
All negativity & bad karma..nice try though kids-u should do a deal with michael lohan sr :) a match made in heaven! perfect, he’s religious!
Thank you for keeping my company!”

I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know what Lindsay Lohan looks like. And what she looks like is the ratty haired, post-apocalyptic truck-stop hooker in that bathroom with coke in it. The full video is under the “read more” link, and in that she leaves the next morning so there’s no doubt she was there. Any normal judge would see this and at least bring her in for a drug test, but judges in LA have all the deductive power of a ref in the WWE.

Read more >

does jennifer aniston still suck? you know it.

By brendon November 16, 2009 @ 11:20 AM


Jennifer Aniston is still a blurry mess in the newest bikini pictures from her trip to Mexico, and thank god because the only thing worse than blurry Jennifer Aniston bikini pictures is clear Jennifer Aniston bikini pictures.

Or maybe I’m being hard on her because these are from Mexico. One time I was doing math and the problem was so hard when I solved it I got sent back in time to ancient Mexico. The Aztecs or whatever started to attack me but my penis is so big I was able to convince them I was a god. I shook it at them and they named it “the Thunder Stick”. Then I made love to many of their beautiful ladies. It was a close call. I’ll get you for this Math!