MICHAEL JACKSON IS ALIVE! MAYBE!

By brendon August 26, 2009 @ 9:30 AM

If you don’t know, and really why would you, KTLA is the CW affiliate in Los Angeles. They carry all the Clipper games and used to carry the Dodgers and one of the news anchors dates the mayor. A real station, is my point. And they thought enough of this video to put it on their site. It reportedly shows Michael Jackson, alive and well, when he is supposed to be the opposite of that.

Is it real? You’re goddam right it is. A black man got into the White House and Michael saw his chance, now the government spin machine is distracting us with bread and circuses while he slips out the back. You can’t afford to be this naive, brother!

Afternoon Headlines

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 4:32 PM

Jon Gosselin And Kids Selling Lemonade 2 (No France, No Germany,

JOHN GOSSELIN – filmed scenes today for “John and Kate Plus 8″ where the adorable kids sell lemonade to raise money for a fire station and he wears a shirt that says “Lies Lies Lies…”. “Because screw those kids,” John probably thought to himself. ” It’s not ’8 Plus John’. Me me me!”

CHRIS BROWN – will be sentenced today, at 2pm pct, after pleading guilty to assaulting Rihanna. He’s expected to get 180 days of community service and 5 years of probation. This was unexpectedly moved from Thursday to today to avoid a media circus. I’d be great at that sort of thing. I’m quick witted, and I’m so pretty I really don’t even need makeup.

LINDSAY LOHAN – I actually had a dream about her (seen here jewelry shopping yesterday) last night where a bunch of people were doing some financial intervention, including me and the mayor of New York who appeared to be the black guy from Fringe. The words haven’t been invented yet to explain how depressing this was. I really gotta get laid.

See Katy Perry, live, for free

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 4:31 PM

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So Buzznet, the international conglomerate of websites and defense contractors who will tell you they’re just an urban legend if you investigate them, has used their iron hand to prove they can throw together major concerts on a whim, in this case, Katy Perry at the Hollywood Palladium this Saturday night. And to prove money means nothing to them, they’re giving away free tickets. Do this to get them:

- Send the following twitter message from your twitter account:
I want to see @katyperry at the Hollywood Palladium on 8/29 presented by @soundsofbuzz and Coca-Cola
- Show up with proof (on your phone, print out, etc) to Space15Twenty on 8/25 at 2:00 pm. Get in line. The first 100 people will be given a cold coca-cola and a pair of tickets to Katy Perry.
- Space15Twenty is located on 1520 N. Cahuenga Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90028

I would do what Buzznet says if I were you.  Ryan Jenkins found out the truth, look what they did to him.

(hq jump to katy and her huge jugs here.  source = splash news online and wenn)

This is not helping

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 3:15 PM

Protesters Attending Topless Rally In Venice Beach 2

The people organizing this rally in Venice, CA., to legalize topless beaches in America (pics after the cut) have a lot to learn about marketing. There was only one chick you would want to see topless (this one) the rest shouldn’t even be allowed to go topless at home in the shower with the lights out. Like this doughnut-based life-form visiting our planet in her snazzy wheelchair. It’s important to point out that she’s not actually handicapped. Here she is standing. She just can’t walk more than few steps without her feet and heart begging for mercy. She simultaneously managed to set back the cause of toplessness and fatties.

Read more >

What a sexy movie

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 2:19 PM

Jennifer Aniston And Gerard Butler On The Set Of 'The Bounty'

This may look like Jennifer Aniston has been reduced to starring in MILF humiliation videos, as would be befitting her acting talent and looks, and in fact the only way I would watch a Jennifer Aniston movie is if the description included the words “ATM” and “cum-soaked”, but sadly I think Gerard Butler is just handcuffing her in these pictures from the set of “the Bounty”. You can pretty much tell what the movie is about just by these pictures. And that it will be less entertaining than actually going to the store and buying some Bounty.

(hq jump here. source = flynet and splash news online)

I think I got tricked

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 11:31 AM

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Like a dog who hears a can opener, I perked right up when I saw the words “Victorias Secret” and “beach”, and instantly bought this entire set of pictures. As it turns out I’m easily bamboozled because these were disappointing, and the only one in a goddamn bikini was this thankfully nice-assed Asian girl on the crew. The good thing to take from this is that they are shooting again, so maybe new Marisa Miller bikini pics will be around later this week. Until then, anyone not digging that girls ass must be “crazy in the coconut” as my grandfather used to say before we put him in a home for annoying us with dumb sayings like “crazy in the coconut”.

(hq jump here.  26 more here.  source = fame)

Will there be anything else, ma’am

By brendon August 25, 2009 @ 10:39 AM

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Linda Hamilton I mean Carmen Electra is on Kos Island in Greece today, and she still looks amazing. As long as you back up from your monitor before opening the pictures. Little more. More. Little more. One more. Okay good. I realize you can’t reach your mouse anymore, but maybe you can get a stick and wack it or something until the pictures changes or you break it, or maybe get one of those trained monkeys. Now you have a sexy girl and a helper monkey. Things are looking up for you my friend.  ;)

(hq jump here. source = mavrix online)

Miami looks fun

By brendon August 24, 2009 @ 4:29 PM

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Actress Carla Velli is kind of like the Scarlett Johansson of Italy, and I have no idea if that’s true or not but people are always saying dumb shit like that so it might be true, and if we all just kind of agree that she is or at least might be the Scarlett Johansson of Italy and then drop it, then it sort of becomes relevant to this page and we can sit back and leer at the pictures of her topless yesterday in Miami. I know which one I’m doin. Join me, won’t you?

(hq jump here. 10 more, the good ones, here. source = splash news online)