Terry Richardson Gays His Way Into So Much Pussy

In my next life, I'm coming back as the guy everybody thinks is gay. It's such a better play than this being gay on the down low business. All that gets you is anxiety and the AIDS. But the former, oh, man, the guy everybody assumes is gay gets so much access to women.... read more

As I Lay Dying Singer Wanted His Ex To Lay Dying

Tim Lambesis, the lead singer of the metal band As I Lay Dying, was arrested for trying to hire an undercover cop to kill his estranged wife. Lambesis had been asking around San Diego where he could hire a hitman. Because what you want to do when you are looking to... read more

Arianny Celeste Doesn't Really Strip in Strip Trivia

Here's a word that's been badly bastardized. Stripping. I don't know about you, but if I paid good money as best man at a bachelor party to a stripper to strip in our hotel room and she got down to her bikini and stopped, I'd call the Better Business Bureau. Or whoever... read more

Julia Roberts Is Being A Bitch Again

Don't be fooled by the famous gaping maw smile, Julia Roberts is a bitter old bitch, who lives solely to make life miserable for everyone around her. Now her half-sister is getting married and because no one is paying attention to Julia, she is throwing a hissy fit and... read more

Wade Robson Says Michael Jackson Touched His Pee Pee, For Real This Time

A douche named Wade Robson is alleging that Michael Jackson really did molest him when he was little, he just forgot. He previously testified in Michael Jackson's 2005 child molestation trial that he had not been molested. Wade's shitty parents used to let little Wade... read more

Megan Fox Jumps On Trampoline

Megan Fox jumping on a trampoline in stretch pants and a tight top. Fuck all the tortured souls developing their craft down at the Lee Strasberg Institute right now. This is what you call acting. Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, FameFlynet, INF, PCN, WENN [gallery id="5919"]... read more

Most Psychics Are Sweet Liars, Why Is Sylvia Browne Such a Piece of Shit Liar?

I can only feel so bad for people who believe in psychics. I believe in a higher power and some elements of the inexplicable supernatural related thereto, but I do not believe that fat women with bad teeth and stupid glasses are granted special insight into the unknown.... read more

Audrina Patridge Has Nothing On Her Mind

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be dumb. I don't mean like the 'you're an idiot!' comments I often get. Or even my truly mediocre educational achievement level. I mean, really dumb. Like a puppy. Where people wave shiny objects and you chase them kind of... read more

Courtney Stodden Loses Out to Teen Mom's Ass

Say what you will about Teen Mom Farrah Abraham and her hungry earning bunghole, but she trumped the shit out of Courtney Stodden, the other obvious contender for a rip-roarious anal plunging 'celebrity' sex tape. Despite looking like a two-pack a day smoker since... read more

Lauryn Hill Was Sentenced To Three Months In Jail

Former Fugees singer and critically-acclaimed rap artist Lauryn Hill recently announced that after 15 years she'd finally be recording a follow-up to her critically-acclaimed solo album, The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. But despite her claims, it wasn't because she... read more

Chris Christie Decides To Stop Being Such A Fat Fuck

Chris Christie, the fatty fatty boom batty governor of New Jersey, revealed that he got lap band surgery in February. Christie became a national figure after his speech at the GOP convention in 2012 and then his able handling of the recovery after Hurricane Sandy. But... read more

Shanna Moakler Thinks Breast Feeding Is Incest

In case you pregnant ladies out there were wondering which celebrity moms you could turn to for advice after you give birth, you can go ahead and cross former Miss USA and Playboy Playmate Shanna Moakler of that list. That is, unless you're cool with absurd theories... read more