Bieber Spits on the Dick Next Door

Justin Bieber continues his Napoleonic antics by spitting in a neighbor's face and threatening "I'm gonna fucking kill you." It seems that the world's most famous singing lesbian got into an altercation with the guy who lives next door in the exclusive Calabasas... read more

Paris Hilton Swatted (And Not For Cash This Time)

Paris Hilton is the latest victim in one of the stupidest practical jokes going on in Hollywood -- swatting. Some tool cals the cops and says somebody is breaking into a celebrity home and they send the SWAT team out in choppers and fighter jets to contain the situation.... read more

Halle Berry Boobs Never Age

Halle Berry doesn't have real tits, but she has spectacular tits, which is more important than real. What truly is real in this world? Organic food? It's grown with shit, literally. Reality TV is entirely fake. The last bout of 'real love' I experienced ended in her... read more

Jim Carrey Is Feuding With Fox News Over A Stupid Song (Video)

Jim Carrey returned to the big screen for the first time in nearly two years with The Incredible Burt Wonderstone earlier this month, and so far it has been a huge bomb. But even if the film were a smash hit, people wouldn't be talking about it, because it's his recent... read more

Katie Price Is a Bangable Pink Furry

Katie Price dressed up as a pony for the launch of her KP Equestrian wear. I guess the product name Attention Whore Katie Price Crappy Horse Clothes didn't make it out of consumer testing. Either way, I don't know how Katie dressing up like a retarded pink filly will... read more

A Reader Begs to Differ on Hottest Wonder Woman (VIDEO)

When somebody writes in with a valid concern about who is actually the hottest looking Wonder Woman, you've got to take that shit seriously. Thanks 'Tom' for alerting our journalists, such as they arem uneducated and unaccredited, to the fact that Brazilian model... read more

The Duggars Might Be Adopting Their 20th Kid

Because they're the stars of their own reality show that focuses on their massive family, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are generally regarded in the same company as women like Kate Gosselin and Octomom, who treat their vaginas like t-shirt guns. They also drag their... read more

Downton Abbey Actress Regrets Going Nude... Or Does She?

I've learned over time to ignore the first half of whatever a celebrity says. Unlike a politician or a priest, where it's best to ignore it all, or Socrates, when it's wise to listen from the get-go, with celebrities, generally, the first half of what comes out of their... read more

Sean Penn's Son Has His Dad's Nose And Hatred

Sean Penn is celebrated by his peers as one of Hollywood's greatest actors, and in his own mind he's probably the greatest person and humanitarian who has ever lived. In reality, he's a pretty good actor who will probably one day retire as a god in South America,... read more

Swanepoel Means Sex in Spanish (VIDEO)

I think chick magazines are better in foreign countries. I've glanced at my fair share of U.S. ladies magazines. Every time I get a molar crowned at the dentist I'm perusing a female picture book, because men's magazines long since went off the politically correct... read more

Ashley Sky Is Less Modest Than You Never Thought

Ashley Sky either came from Brazil, or suburban Cleveland, depending on who you believe, but she's hot and she turned herself into an Internet star. She's like a 2013 version of Cindy Margolis I suppose, but you don't have to sit on a 14K modem to wait to see her showing... read more

Kaley Cuoco Still Has Admirable Boobs

I used to love Kaley Cuoco. But something is happening that I'm none too pleased with. Kaley Cuoco is getting less hot. I'm thinking maybe it's me. Perhaps you can only stare at a woman's chest for so long before you become apathetic to her looks. I'd like to think not,... read more