It’s odd to think that Adrien Brody might be the last bastion of heterosexuality in Hollywood. Who would’ve called that? But apparently he does like chicks, including his girlfriend and these belly dancers in Turkey. His career is probably fucked now that everybody knows he likes the pussy.
James Franco wants to keep working, so he came out today and basically apologized for not being gay.
“I don’t even care if people think I’m gay, so it was like, ‘Awesome!’ I mean, I wish I was … I wish I was gay.” - James Franco to The Daily Beast
I wish James Franco were gay too. I was going to say I wished for world peace or an end to famine in plagued lands, but when I catch that next shooting star, I’m cosmically requesting that James Franco gets a happy mouth full of cock. At least then he will shut the fuck up. Because it’s hard to talk with Adrien Brody’s junk in your gullet.
DMX surprised the staff at a hotel in Detroit by running naked through the hallways. It’s unclear why the rapper decided to let his dog out for the poor cleaning lady to see, other than the fact that he is baby eating crazy and super fucking high most of his waking hours. The best part of this security footage is how nonchalant the employees are trying to be. Then again, in Detroit they’ve probably seen far worse. We may never know why DMX chose to streak through the halls. His ways are mysterious and difficult for regular people like you and I to understand. Like that time he made a noir film with David Arquette then nobody ever heard from him ever again.
I’m not sure what possesses photographers to get some of the hottest women in the world to take their clothes off and then decide to turn down the lights way down. I’d crank those halogens like I was the king of illuminated porn shoots. When I turn down the lights it’s because I fear what a girl might look like without her clothes on, let alone the horror of catching my ghostly image in a mirror. But for girls whose lives are dedicated to the fine art of being really good looking, I’d run up the power bill.
I guess I’m less tasteful than the guy who shot Adam Levine’s girlfriend and a bunch of other Victoria’s Secret models topless for Interview magazine. See if you can figure out who everybody is. I can’t remember all their names. If you can identify them by their boobs, then kudos to you, my friend.
Kanye West hit back at Ray J in their continuing playground rivalry over who tagged Kim Kardashian first (well, first between the two of them, as neither of them were around when Kim was fourteen and first figuring out what it’d take to get a high school diploma the easy way). It all started when Ray J released a song called, (subtly), I Hit It First. referring to his having had carnal knowledge of Kimberly Kardashian’s soon to be expensive vagina before Kanye had the honor of doing so. Ray J also took Kim’s golden shower virginity and a girl only loses that once, twice if she works the Navy ports of call. So, Kanye dropped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and changed the lyrics to his song Bound 2 to the following:
“Brandy’s little sister lame and he know it now, when a real brother hold you down, you supposed to drown.”
He called Ray J Brandy’s little sister! Oh snap! Honestly, who gives a shit? What black athlete or rapper hasn’t fucked Kim Kardashian? The guy who played Urkel has probably hit that shit. The guy who stood-in for Urkel during camera blocking probably has experienced multiple orifice loving of the highest earning Kardashian. The only thing any of them are Bound 2 have is a a matching strain of HPV.
Dave Chappelle recently walked off stage at a festival in Hartford, Connecticut, where he was the headlining act, because he said some “young, white alcoholics” were heckling him from the crowd. He even went as far as to say that he hopes that if North Korea ever bombs the U.S. that they choose Hartford as the target. And while people are all up in arms because a comedian said something controversial, I can’t help but wonder what kind of douchebag would talk shit to a guy who looks like this.
And this is just Dave hanging outside of his hotel in New York City yesterday. I can’t imagine what he looks like up on a stage with a light on him. I’d probably piss my pants a little and throw my wallet at him if he yelled at me.
Amanda Seyfried is a hot 27-year old actress who has become a leading lady in roles that aren’t quite award-worthy but are still better than 99% of the shit out there, while Justin Long is a 35-year old actor who looks like he was picked out of a crowd to be the before picture in an AXE commercial. Despite the fact that it makes no sense whatsoever, these two are apparently dating and they confirmed it by attending the U.S. Open together this weekend.
The only thing I could think of is that Amanda is so alternative and against-the-grain that dating the Apple commercial doofus actually seems cool to her, or she’s blind. In which case – not bad, Justin.
Teen Mom “star” turned porn “actress” Farrah Abraham attended the OK! TV Launch Party in Manhattan last night, which was pretty strange because it wasn’t held inside a strip club. But for the first time in her young career as an entrepreneur, Farrah fit in pretty well, as she was surrounded by a bunch of other people who aren’t really famous either. Joining Farrah at the party were that couple from Real Housewives currently being accused of fraud, one of the guys from The Jersey Shore that nobody ever talks about and that guy who brags about being Kim Kardashian’s best friend.
If anything, we should all look forward to the day we can refer to Farrah as that girl who couldn’t even make it in porn.