Charlie Sheen got high and called Alex Jones today

If you've never heard what someone sounds like after they've done enough coke to blow up the sun, you will now because Charlie Sheen was on the Alex Jones Show today, and he spent 18 exhausting minutes calling the creator and producer of Two And A Half Men a loser and a clown and "Hymie Levine", calling Thomas Jefferson a pussy, claiming he cured his drug addiction with his mind, that he has an army of assassins...

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Penelope Cruz just had a baby, looks better now

It was less than a month ago that Penelope Cruz gave birth to a baby boy, the first child for her and husband Javier Bardem, and she hasn't been seen much since, but yesterday she was at Jerry Bruckheimers office in Santa Monica, probably for something involving Pirates of the Caribbean 4, which he produced and she stars in. Point being she has huge tits now, which is honestly the only redeeming thing about her...

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Kanye West wants his n-words to strapup

Kanye West went on his twitter last night to spread the world about how gold diggin bitches be getting pregnant on purpose, and how an abortion can cost up to 100gs. I guess he means paying the girl to get an abortion, because actual abortions don't cost anywhere near that. And they would be damn near free if the girl demanded $100,000, because you should just punch her in the stomach. What's a mop cost, like 5...

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Irina Shayk doesn't shave her legs

Russian model Irina Shayk, mostly famous these days for being the 2011 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover model, was out in LA yesterday looking slightly less sexy than she did in the magazine. Mostly because she doesn't shave her legs. And if she doesn't shave her legs, her bush must be an abomination. If I'm dating a supermodel, her vagina better look like it was drawn on with a pencil. [gallery id="8082"]

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Jennifer Love Chewitt has a hot body

Jennifer Love Hewitt was out in LA today, not surprisingly to get food, and she's gonna need to try harder if she wants to hide or distract people from how big her ass is getting. Way harder. To be honest she might have to go out in blackface. (image source = inf daily) [gallery id="8083"]

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Brooke Mueller is moving back in with Charlie Sheen

Back in December, Charlie Sheen and his wife Broke Mueller rented a little house to spend Christmas skiing in Aspen. Then some stuff happened, and Charlie put a knife to her throat and threatened to kill her. After that they filed for divorce, he kidnapped some prostitute, did a mountain of coke, and had a continuous orgy with porn stars. Which apparently turns Brooke on. "She moved in several days ago," a source...

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Rihanna and Ryan Phillippe "totally had sex."

Last week there was a rumor that Ryan Philippe, who is supposed to be dating Amanda Seyfried, was hitting on Rihanna, but then people were saying Ryan was really still with Amanda and Rihanna was sexting Colin Farrell. Now Us says that Rihanna and Ryan have been hooking up for months. Who says Hollywood is like high school? Though Rihanna, 23, appeared to blow off Phillippe, 36, at a brunch in L.A. on Feb. 12, a...

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Lindsay Lohan is back in court today

Lindsay Lohan will be back in a courtroom this morning (for now on just assume she's in court unless otherwise noted), at 8:30am pct, to determine if her felony theft case will go to trial. Her attorney has said that Lindsay would accept a plea deal if it would keep her out of jail. Unfortunately… The judge who will determine Lindsay Lohan's fate in the probation and grand theft cases will be the middleman in plea...

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Hayden Panettiere is friendly

Hayden Panettiere was having lunch in Venice yesterday, but not with her boyfriend, boxing heavyweight champion Wladimir Klitschko. That gave two different guys the opening they needed to hit on her. One was a dog, and he actually got to make out with her, but the real winner was me. Her panties were soaked before I even said a word, as soon as she saw my speedo and tiger tooth necklace. Then when I showed her my...

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Jennifer Aniston is embracing her spinsterhood

The fact that anyone even noticed is probably a sign that we're all doomed and nothing will ever get better, but not only did they notice, but apparently it's big news that Jennifer Aniston cut a few inches of her hair off. People says... Jennifer Aniston has bid goodbye to the long layers that have been her signature look for years and chopped her hair into a shoulder-length bob. The actress stepped out at a Madrid...

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Tuesday afternoon headlines

EMINEM - has cast porn star Sasha Grey to star in his video for Space Bound. If there's not a lyric about his semen being "face bound", now would be the time to add it. (the sun) ALYSSA MILANO - is pregnant for the first time, with her husband Dave Bugliari, an agent at CAA. I bet this guy wishes he'd heard that "face bound" lyric from the Eminem song. Would have saved him a lot of trouble. (people) ROSIE O'DONNELL -...read more

private Olivia Wilde pictures have leaked

Private candid pictures of Olivia Wilde, taken by her ex husband, have leaked online, but that really makes these sound hotter than they are. Because she's not naked. Releasing private candids of your ex wife really implies she was gonna be naked. But she's not. This is bullshit. Now I know what you're thinking, and I partially agree, but let's not bring the police into this just yet. Maybe he's got more, let's see...

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Miley Cyrus kicked her dad off 'the View'

Last week Billy Ray Cyrus told GQ that he regrets not being a stronger parent to his daughter Miley, and that he thinks his desire to be her friend instead of her father gave her a certain amount of power which has put her on the wrong path. Well tomorrow he was supposed to appear on the View. Time to check in on his new found parenting skills. Popeater talked to a source who said... "When Miley found out her father...

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Emmy Rossum explains how she prevents "penetration"

In real life it's easy for a girl to avoid "penetration". The most common ways are by claiming my hour is up or by snickering when I ask her out. But what if that girl is a really really hot actress, and she's naked, and she's filming one of her many graphic sex scenes that are supposed to look real. Because that basically describes Emmy Rossum on the Showtime series Shameless. So how does she keep simulated sex from...

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Rihanna wants to do it with Colin Farrell

If you're a girl, currently alive, there's at least an 8 percent chance that Colin Farrell has had sex with you. Like Rihanna for example. He hasn't banged her yet, but she is a girl, on earth, so he probably will at some point. And soon, if Rihanna gets her way. The Sun says... If there's one woman you wouldn't mind pestering you, the Bajan stunner has to top the list. They met on GRAHAM NORTON's chat show before...

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