Farrah Abraham Will Not Be Forgotten

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 6:01 PM

Farrah Abraham In Low Cut White Top Posing For The Camera In Fort Lauderdale
With news of the new Sydney Leathers sex tape arriving, Teen Mom Farrah Abraham snapped into action and took some photos to show off her tits. It was a measured move in a battle ongoing between Farrah and all untalented girls looking to make a buck off their fifteen minutes of fame by way of porn. Like Lycan vs. Vampire, or whatever that battle is that fuels all those metrosexual supernatural shows on second tier network. It’s an underworld, often unseen battle, but make no mistake about it, by the time Octomom tweets about painful anal fissures, Chyna and Montana Fishburne are halfway to the studio for scat play videos.

Photo Credit: Splash

Halle Berry Is Very Pregnant

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 5:37 PM

Halle Berry Shows Off Her Growing Belly After Lunching In Brentwood
Halle Berry is very pregnant by way of whomever the current Euro-model she’s now dating. I have a sneaking suspicion that she likes everybody knowing she’s pregnant. And not just because Halle’s bravely proving that rich women can have unnecessarily high risk pregnancies at nearly any age now. But also the clothes. There was no designer wardrobe for pregnant moms back in the 60′s when Halle first became sexually active. She looks fabulous. She deserves this baby.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Lea Michele Is Ready to Mingle

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 5:00 PM

Lea Michele In A White Dress Leaving Jamie-Lynn Sigler's Baby Shower In Beverly Hills
It’s always sad when your man goes lights out on heroin and Midori melon. But, you deal with it. You accept the smoked meat trays. You wait a week or two, and you get your ass back out there. Wallowing isn’t going to bring Cory back. Slap on something cute and let the boys know you’re back on the market. Also, this time, you’re willing not to talk so much.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Anthony Weiner Discussed Mayoral Race In Between Ejaculations

By Jack August 05, 2013 @ 4:42 PM

It seems that besides talking sexy on the phone, Carlos Danger…er…Anthony Weiner also discussed the mayoral race with Sydney Leathers. We all know by now that Anthony Weiner started sexting with random sluts again, even after it nearly ruined his career last year. Sydney Leathers, his main sexting partner, said that it wasn’t just her hot ass or Weiner’s weiner that they discussed.

“He would talk about how he felt everything would be okay from his first scandal…The people of New York love me, you understand, they love me.”

He also bragged about how much money he was getting in donations and whatnot. If this guy wants to jerk-off  constantly sexting with random ho’s, who are we to judge? This is America, after all. But how fucking stupid is this guy that he discussed his mayoral race with her? Did he want her to come on as his very naughty campaign manager? Even your basic street level pervert knows you don’t talk shop with the troubled fat girl virtually slopping on your knob. Weiner is a sex addict, blah blah blah. The troubling part is that he’s a moron.

Riley Keough Models Lingerie

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 4:17 PM

I really can’t google anything more about Robert Pattinson. The NSA is going to start putting me in their F.A.G. file, which while it contains half of all the world’s most important people, I need somebody to believe I’m straight. Best I could tell before I cut that shit off, this is the girl who sad sack Robert Pattinson convinced to sympathy bang him after he moved his little box of tears of our Kristen Stewart’s place. Riley Keough is also Elvis’ granddaughter. Not that it matters. But it’s something to tell your buddies about after the fact. Unless you’re Robert Pattinson and you have no friends. Fill the box, Rob.

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The Sydney Leathers Sex Tape Is Here, Yay? (VIDEO)

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 3:26 PM

The amount of time between 24-hour cable news cycle sex scandal and published sex tape has shrunk quite a bit. Maybe a couple or three weeks now from ‘who’s that chick Anthony Weiner was beating his political meat to online’ to Vivid sex tape. If you’ve got ADD, this is fucking wonderful news. Also, if you like to watch chunky chicks who look like the second clarinet from high school band finger bang themselves in cheap lingerie, you are also in luck. So, about 43% of you should be happy about this. Anthony Weiner probably loves the shit out of it too. Because as bad as it is for his campaign, if there’s one thing dudes who are addicted to their own dicks love, it’s having even more people talk about their dicks.

If you so choose, you can see Sydney Leathers bare boobs HERE.

Video Credit: Splash News
Photo Credit: Vivid

Isla Fisher Wears Lame Underwear

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 2:49 PM

Isla Fisher's Skirt Blow Up As She Gets Into A Car In London
Isla Fisher wears really boring underwear. I can’t blame a woman for going for the three-pack gray cotton briefs at Target like I do, but when you’ve got millions and you’re a big actress and have a vagina and all, you could throw a little something nice into the mix. I don’t ask for much. I’m never going to sleep with Isla Fisher. I feel I deserve a thong or something silky. And no I don’t want to hear about how you’re a mom. You’re just selfish.

Photo Credit: INFphoto.com

Justin Bieber Rubs His Junk On Fan’s iPhone

By Jack August 05, 2013 @ 2:32 PM

Justin Bieber rubbed his baby like peen on a fan’s phone after she threw it onstage as a sign of being really fucking stupid. The incident happened last week at a concert at the Prudential Center in New Jersey. It seems that future Jersey bar trolls were throwing personal items on the stage in the middle of Bieber’s making of the art. When the little Lesbian Fraggle told them to ‘refrain from throwing shit and mucking up his magic, some girl thought it was a good idea to throw her expensive ass iPhone at the musical genius. Bieber stuck it down his pants and rubbed it on his junk and then proceeded to gift it to another fan. This event might seem entirely unremarkable, but a thousand years from now when historians are sifting through the plague ridden ruins of the early 2000′s civilization, they will cite New Jersey as the epicenter of the plague that would wipe out 2/3 of the human population.  But, then, we always knew it would be Jersey.