Kira Dikhtyar Is Still Sick in the Head from Naomi Campbell

It used to be, you kind of knew what was on most of TV. If somebody mentioned a show, you'd either seen it, heard of it, or passed over it one night and found it stupid and shitty and starring Lorenzo Lamas. Now you need to bring back the last librarian on earth who... read more

Kim Kardashian's Dress Deserves a Prize

I don't know how you design a dress that is both see-through, and at the same time can secrete forty pounds of excess gunt. Whoever made Kim Kardashian's dress for the superbly boring Seth Meyer's show appearance deserves some kind of science award. Maybe one of those... read more

Caitlin O'Connor In A Bikini

Just because Maxim is circling the toilet bowl, doesn't mean they didn't help discover a few good looking girls along the way. Discover may not be the right term. We used to use that for Columbus and America before everybody started yelling about Indians being here a... read more

Cindy Crawford's Tits Can Still Sell Watches

I don't know how old Cindy Crawford is exactly and I'm not going to Google it because I'll spend several hours looking at old nude photos of her. I don't have time for that, not right now. She's still the go-to model girl for upscale merchandise. Her name just says... read more

When A Mother's Love Is So Strong She Leaves You in a Burger King Toilet Stall

The Internet loves a feel good story. I'm sure Upworthy is A/B testing emotionally provocative headlines for this tale of a girl abandoned by her mom just after birth in a Burger King bathroom in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Like most kids who were left on top of a white... read more

Maria Menounos To Leave Extra, Or Not

Maria Menounos is either leaving her gig on Extra or not. According to highly almost never reliable Page Six, Maria's contract isn't being renewed because she's a diva who hates AC Slater and is asking for too much money. That all seems pretty logical to me. Maria's fall... read more

Andrew Garfield Has To Tuck It Back

Andrew Garfield revealed that he puts a lot of thought into how much dick he tucks back in his Spiderman suit. An interviewer asked Garfield how he handled his package in the skin tight Spidey suit. Apparently, he spent a lot of time thinking about how much of his junk... read more

Jessica Pare's Teeth Will Find You

It's really great that Jessica Pare can joke about her own massive raping redneck beaver teeth. Because I can't. I've watched Mad Men a few times and they trick you with those long slow tilts up Jessica's great body in little outfits and then... blammo! The fucking fangs... read more

Christina Milian Shows Off Her Cleavage In Las Vegas

Photo Credit: Christina Milian/Instagram [gallery guid=804010] read more

North West Pisses on Kanye

Kim Kardashian revealed to Seth Myers that baby North West pissed all over Kanye West during their infamous Vogue shoot. It seems that the unibrowed womb troll decided to use Kanye's chest as a diaper while they were taking a family shot on a couch. North is naked in the... read more

Let's Say Nice Things About Kylie Jenner in a Bikini

There will be some among you who say that a young high school dropout already obsessed with public recognition over her still developing body probably has a shaky future ahead. I think those people are being rather generous. My disabling ADD and laziness disease combo... read more

Demi Lovato And Kathy Griffin Are Feuding Over Lady Gaga's Vomit

Kathy Griffin is 54-years old and has made a career out of shitting on celebrities, both talented and worthless, and Demi Lovato is 21, a popular singer and one of the judges on one of those stupid singing shows. Despite their three decade age difference, the two are... read more