‘Drive’ sued for being neither fast nor furious

By brendon October 11, 2011 @ 2:07 PM

A woman in Michigan is suing the producers of the critically acclaimed movie ‘Drive’ because she thought it would be like ‘Fast and the Furious’, and it wasn’t, and that really upset her. To the point where she feels the courts need to intervene. Please believe me when I tell you I’m not misrepresenting this story in any way.

If this works she’ll also sue the estate of William Faulkner after reading ‘Sound and the Fury’. “What the fuck, where’s the drifting! If a story doesn’t have people driving smoothly around corners, they can expect to hear from my attorney.”

(hollywood reporter)

its the Avengers trailer

By brendon October 11, 2011 @ 12:46 PM

At long last, ‘the Avengers’ finally has its first trailer (HD copies here), though it does little more than explain the very basics of the story and blow some shit up. I hope that chubby cop can out run the chain reaction of exploding cars in the begining! It doesn’t look good to be honest with you.

Jessica Simpson is or is not pregnant

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 4:28 PM

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Jessica Simpson has yet to confirm or deny the rumor that she’s pregnant, but she landed in New Orleans last night and the photo agency who took these pictures said she was. So there you have it. That’s all the proof I need. The only question now is when will she have a second one, and will the daily liter of Axe body spray her doofus fiance no doubt wears affect the baby?

(image source = flynet)

Brad and Angelina donated $340,000

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 4:25 PM

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie proved once again they they’re among the nicest people in Hollywood by donating $340,000 to pay for health care for homeless kids in Somalia, who is suffering their worst famine in 60 years. Too bad there isn’t a large body of water around. With some fish in it. Like an ocean. Somewhere below India. An “Indian Ocean”, if you will.

(seriously, how can you be in a famine? You border an ocean, EAT THE FISH YOU FINICKY BASTARDS!!!)

(daily mail)

Lindsay Lohans John Gotti movie has been shut down

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 3:35 PM

Despite all the tough talk, it was abundantly clear from the very beginning that the John Gotti movie with John Travolta and Lindsay Lohan was never anything but a publicity stunt and the producer had no idea wtf he was doing. So it should come as no surprise that filming has now been postponed indefinitely because they have no money. And movies cost money. Unless you just film the girl across the street stepping out of the shower like I do.

showbiz 411

Christina Aguilera has still got it

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 12:03 PM

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Christina Aguilera performed at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in Wales on Saturday… and she wore this. And looked like this. Who would have guessed that, between Jackson and Aguilera, Jackson would be the one aging better.

(image source = getty and wenn)

Madonna is mysterious

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 2:48 AM

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Madonna left a church in New York on Sunday with her head covered by a blanket. Oh gosh I wonder why.

Please note that her bodyguard had to stop her from going the wrong direction because, to reiterate, there was a fucking blanket over her head. I also like that she’s essentially using her daughter, whose eyes are also covered by the blanket, as a bumper. “I’ll just wander toward the sounds of traffic with my kid in front, and when she says ‘oww’ or get’s yanked to the right suddenly, I’ll know to stop.” Nice parenting, dick.

(image source = inf)

Chris Brown was banned from England

By brendon October 10, 2011 @ 2:22 AM

Chris Brown was expected to perform at the Michael Jackson tribute concert in England on Saturday, but he was denied a work visa due to the assault conviction he got after beating up Rihanna. Another red flag was that his stated purpose was to honor someone who got little boys drunk and sodomized them.

(wonderwall)