Jessica Simpsons dad is gay (allegedly)

By brendon October 24, 2012 @ 2:13 PM

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After 34 years of marriage, many people were surprised when Joe and Tina Simpson, the parents of Jessica Simpson and Jessica Simpson’s sister, filed for divorce last month, but you know who I bet wasn’t surprised? Joe’s teenage boyfriend.

…not only has a family source told the Enquirer that 54-year-old Joe came out of the closet, (but) the former youth pastor and Baptist minister has a 20-some­thing boy toy!
“Joe got the family together about two months ago and came out of the closet,” an insider divulged. “He told them that he’d tried to continue in his marriage to Tina, but he couldn’t go on any longer and deny the fact that he had these feelings for men.”

And yeah I know his “boy toy” is 20 and not a teenager but “teenage” sounded so much better. And who cares, this whole story is ridiculous anyway. I know a straight guy when I see one, and a youth pastor who wears bronzer and goes to hair salons is obviously into chicks.

Madonna fell down, flopped around like a spaz

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 5:55 PM







I got pretty excited when I heard that Madonna fell during her concert in Dallas, because I was picturing an Owen Hart type fall where she would literally die. And while it was fun to see her flail around like a fish someone dropped on a dock, her fall was more spazzy than fatal.

I still got my hopes up for a second because she’s an old lady and maybe she’d break some important bones but she didn’t. Stupid calcium. I’ll get you for this!

Justin Timberlake didnt invite *NSYNC to his wedding

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 4:17 PM

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According to *NSIDE *NSYNC, which of course is the only official *NSYNC biography, Justin Timberlake, Lance Bass, JC Chasez, Joey Fatone, and Chris Kirkpatrick all had a dream that someday they would be able to use their natural talents to entertain people. And when those dreams came true, the guys still kept an eye on the things that really count. Number 1 on that list: remaining best friends.

And yet, according to Page Six

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel wed in front of 100 people at the gorgeous Borgo Egnazia resort in Southern Italy on Friday … But missing from the guest list were his former *NSYNC bandmates.
A source told us, “The band were not invited and are pretty upset about it. But the wedding guests were mainly close family and friends.”

This despite the fact that the wedding was in Italy, and Joeys Fact File clearly states that his favorite food is Italian.

Page Six also says that Biel and Timberlake made $300,000 by selling their wedding pictures to People, who retain exclusive rights to the pictures for the entire 8 minutes it takes someone to scan them and post them online for free.

Jennifer Lopez had a little accident

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 2:01 PM

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That headline makes it sound like she pee’d on herself, and who knows maybe she did (I do, she did), but while Jennifer Lopez was singing one of her incredible hit songs last night at the O2 in London, her dress stretched a little too far (oh I wonder why that happened) and you could see her nipple.

And it’s weird looking. I’ve seen nipples before-mostly on TV but also in person-and they don’t look like this. That looks more like ET is peering out of her dress.

(image source = pacific coast, getty)

Lindsay tweeted the debate last night, was hopefully drunk

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 1:00 PM

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Lindsay Lohan spent last night at Catch, a sushi restaurant in the West Village owned by ‘Top Chef’ season-three winner Hung Huynh, and by shocking coincidence it also has a popular bar, where Lindsay stayed until 3:15am.

That might explain why she made even less sense than usual on twitter during the Presidential debate. Of course if she wasn’t drunk, she needs to get a CAT scan immediately because she has some kind of head trauma.

“OMG it is HAPPENING!!!!!!!! The Final Debate!!!!! I’m so nervous!”

“If I win I get a million dollars!”

“1920s, 1950s…. ITS ALL THE SAME, History repeats itself…. Only if you let it.”

“Gotta be smart you guys. Only an asshole would not learn from the past and make the same mistakes over and over.”

“@SarahKSilverman Teachers are the BEST!”

“I do coke with mine! #homeschooled”

“Nice work to both @BarackObama and @mittromney… i’m so relieved that its over. Maybe more than both of you..severe anxiety-God Bless xo L”

“Thank God I had no idea what either of you were talking about or I might have literally died.”

‘Iron Man 3′ has a trailer

By brendon October 23, 2012 @ 11:32 AM

The first trailer for ‘Iron Man 3’ was released this morning, but there’s no AC/DC or Black Sabbath to party too this time, because things are now looking bleak for Tony Stark for some reason. I however am thrilled, because this is written and directed by the amazingly great Shane Black, who replaces the sort of ok Jon Favreau and the absolutely awful Jennifer Anistons boyfriend.

But Stark is very grumpy, and not even a trip to the bedroom with Gwyneth Paltrow can take his mind off things because a robot attack. I don’t even know why the scientists make them. They’re everywhere, and when they grab you with those metal claws, you can’t break free, because they’re made of metal, and robots are strong. Sam Waterston tried to warn us but we didn’t listen!

Justin Timberlake sang to Jessica Biel at their wedding

By brendon October 22, 2012 @ 6:05 PM

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As you probably know by now, Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake got married on Friday at the Borgo Egnazia resort in southern Italy, and Justin Timberlake is a little douche. Us.com has updates on both.

At one point, the former boy bander served as his own wedding singer: “Justin performed one song at the wedding,” the source reveals. “It’s a new one that he hasn’t released yet. He dedicated it to Jessica.”

Oohh, how sexy. Her panties must have been drenched to have this castrato singing at her while looking into her eyes and reaching his hand out. It’s her wedding night, and her husband sounds like he’s been chemically sterilized. How romantic!

(image source of jessica in puglia, italy, today = inf)

Ashley Greene has red hair now

By brendon October 22, 2012 @ 4:36 PM

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Remember this episode of ‘the Simpsons’ where it turns out Lisa is really good at gambling on football but thinks it’s wrong so Homer tells her it’s like how ice cream is better with hot fudge and whipped cream and those crumbled-up cookie things they mash up, and Lisa concludes, “so gambling makes a good thing even better.”

Hot girls with red hair are like that. Ashley Greene is awesome; Ashley Greene with red hair is even better. In fact you may notice that some of these pictures of her in New York this weekend have a cloud-like halo around them, presumably because Ashley Greene is an angel sent here from heaven.

(image source = splash)