Oscars Nominate Films Nobody Watches Again

Everybody loves to watch The Oscars even though nobody watches the films they nominate every year. Out of the nine films nominated for Best Picture, only Gravity made it into the Top 25 films in ticket sales for 2013. Gravity only made it because people went to see if after their buddy told them it was Sandra Bullock in her panties blowing shit up in space. That is a decent hook. I don't trust people who try to hide...read more

Seth McFarlane is hosting the Oscars

Apparently it's incredibly hard to recite pre-written jokes without completely fucking it up, so we're down to this now: Seth McFarlane will host the Academy Awards on February 24th. Show producers told the LA Times... "We are thrilled to have Seth MacFarlane host the Oscars. His performing skills blend perfectly with our ideas for making the show entertaining and fresh." And it happens to be a guy who loves singing...read more

Billy Crystal is hosting the Oscars

So, as you can see, Billy Crystal announced today that he'll be hosting the Academy Awards. So expect more jokes like that one. About the prescriptions. But what about the clock on his VCR? Does it blink 12:00 all the time? I get the feeling we'll soon find out! (source = twitter)read more

Brian Grazer will produce the Oscars

Brian Grazer, one of the most accomplished and respected producers in Hollywood, has agreed to replace Brett Ratner as the producer for this years Oscar telecast. There's still no host to replace the departed Eddie Murphy, but one of the top choices seems to be Neil Patrick Harris. Who will definitely rehearse if nothing else wink wink. (source = hollywood reporter)read more

Eddie Murphy out as Oscar host

Brett Ratner is the one who convinced Eddie Murphy to host the Academy Awards on February 26th, so now that Ratner has been fired for saying "fag", Murphy is stepping down too. Maybe because he really really likes saying "fag". (source = hollywood reporter)read more

Brett Ratner got fired from the Oscars

Brett Ratner has been forced out as producer of this years Academy Awards telecast, and yes it's because of Hollywoods predictably typical PC bullshit. Deadline says... This comes hours after Academy president Tom Sherak said he was standing behind Ratner despite his using the word "fag" in a Q&A to promote Tower Heist, and speaking graphically about his sex life on the cable TV show Attack of the Show and also in...read more

live at the academy awards

4:04 – okay if I have to watch this nonsense, I’m draggin you down with me. You’re not special. 4:11 – even after a few years, it's weird to see Heidi Klum and Seal together. He seems like the nicest guy in the world, but she’s so hot, and he looks like something on Star Trek. He must have a duraflame log between his legs. 4:18 – Robert Pattinson either has downs or hes baked ALL the time.4:20 - I didn't think Matthew...read more

the winners list has leaked. maybe.

Actually there’s probably zero chance this list is the real list of Academy Award winners. Some are saying it is or at least might be (like NBC in LA), but the Academy says it can’t be because there is no list. There is no letter sent out like this to academy officers. Which makes sense. Why would there be, unless the academy is a bunch of degenerate gamblers. It doesn’t even look official. The report card I faked in...read more

and the nominees are...

This is bullshit. Early this morning in Beverly Hills, the Academy Award nominees (see the entire list here) were announced, and as expected "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" leads the pack with 13, including Best Picture, Best Director for David Fincher and Best Actor for Brad Pitt. Also as expected, Heath Ledger was nominated for his work in "The Dark Knight". Now this is where everything goes to hell, because...read more

LIVE AT THE OSCARS

4:46pm - I don’t know who most of these people are, and I hate many of the ones that I do know, and also I didn’t see most of these movies, but I have heard of many of them, and I have seen several other movies, including Die Hard and one with dinosaurs. So with that, here we go, live blogging the Academy Awards.5:06pm - Conan O'Brien looks awful. Is he sick or something?5:27pm - What's red and has big teeth? 5:30pm -...read more

AND THE NOMINEES ARE...

The Academy Awards are scheduled for Sunday, February 24th, but at this point no one knows what it will be like because of the ongoing writers strike. Jon Stewart is scheduled to host but has said he won't cross a picket line, a sentiment shared by many actors. Most actors are pretentious dicks but they have been extremely cool in their unwavering support of the writers. It just goes to show you can't judge a book by...read more