Madonna Dressed Up As An Old Woman Dressed As A Boy Scout

By Travis March 18, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

You have to give it to Madonna this time. Skeletor’s schtick has been wearing thin over recent years, from her “Ode to Impotency” Super Bowl halftime show to screaming at her fans for smoking cigarettes in an open-air venue, but this week she finally did something for the betterment of humanity, in trying to get disgusting old perverts to stop molesting little boys, by dressing up as a Boy Scout.

Wait, sorry. I’m being told that wasn’t her reason at all.

Speaking Saturday night at the GLAAD Media Awards, Madonna started off in a mischievous mood. She joked that she wanted to become a part of the Boy Scouts herself, but was turned down, even though she had the qualifications.

“I can build a fire. I know how to pitch a tent…”

Then she probably did that thing she does where she smiles and looks around, expecting everyone to shout how amazing she is. But she wasn’t done. Her incredible sense of humor was just warming the eye-rolling crowd up.

“I can rescue kittens from trees. Most importantly, I know how to scout for boys,” she said, before adding, “I think they should change their stupid rules.” (Associated Press)

I like how her equation for making an important, relevant social statement is (dick joke + being 54 and talking about sex with 19-year old men) x social cause = nauseating reminder of how much lasting power showing bush in the 1980s can build.

Madonna also paid tribute to the man of the evening, Anderson Cooper, calling him a “Bad ass motherfucker”, to which I assume he replied, “Thanks, you’re why I’m gay.”

(Photo Credits: Getty)

6 photos in gallery >

Tags: anderson cooper, madonna |

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Anderson Cooper claims to be “gay”

By brendon July 02, 2012 @ 2:10 PM

For years Anderson Cooper of CNN and ’60 Minutes’ has been asked if he’s gay, because that’s the single most important thing in the entire world, and now, in an email to Andrew Sullivan of the Daily Beast, he finally admits that he’s been lying all this time when he pretended to be manly, hid his gay lisp, or didn’t snap his fingers in the air after he made a good point during an interview.

“The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.
I have always been very open and honest about this part of my life with my friends, my family, and my colleagues. In a perfect world, I don’t think it’s anyone else’s business, but I do think there is value in standing up and being counted. I’m not an activist, but I am a human being and I don’t give that up by being a journalist.”

Finally. Good. Fuck that guy. If Anderson Cooper goes around dating girls it sets an unreasonable standard for me. I need more guys like Chris Brown, not some fucking male model war corespondent from the 7th wealthiest family in history.

Tags: anderson cooper |

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Anderson Cooper killed Amanda Bynes (not literally)

By brendon June 07, 2012 @ 1:55 PM

Yesterday, around the same time her attorney was entering not guilty pleas for a DUI and hitting a police car, Amanda Bynes tweeted the senseless gibberish seen above, apparently under the impression that the President of the United States also works in the LAPD human resources department.

And though she hasn’t received a response from President Obama yet, she did get one from Anderson Cooper on his CNN show today.

“If you don’t know who she is, join the club. She apparently used to be on Nickelodeon, then was in the movie Hairspray and some other movies that you’ve probably never heard of.”

Well one of those movies was ‘Easy A’ which is awesome. But I’ll allow it.

“I know what you’re thinking: basically anything is more important than Amanda Bynes’ tweets..”

I think he meant “literally anything” but whatever. Amanda Bynes is a year away from starring in infomercials as the lady who can’t believe how easy it is to clean this pan. “Wait a second Jim, these eggs are gonna stick, you forgot to add oil!” “We don’t even need oil Amanda!”

Tags: amanda bynes, anderson cooper |

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Anderson Cooper got attacked in Egypt

By brendon February 02, 2011 @ 12:10 PM

Anderson Cooper and his crew were attacked during the riots in Cairo yesterday, with one CNN reported tweeting that Cooper was punched in the head ten times. The Huffington Post says…

The incident came as pro-Mubarak supporters attacked protesters calling for the Egyptian president to step down. Speaking on “American Morning” after the attack, Cooper said that he and his crew had been trying to go to a neutral zone between the two groups.
“We never got that far,” he said. “We were set upon by pro-Mubarak supporters punching us in the head.” Cooper said that he and the crew tried to escape, but that the crowd only grew: “the crowd kept growing, kept throwing punches, kicks…suddenly a young man would look at you and punch you in the face.”

Well, I dont condone Anderson Cooper getting punched, but what did he expect. He’s a handsome rich American in some stone age shithole who hates all three of those things, in the middle of a national riot. It would be like if Lexington Steele went to a Klan rally, then an hour later was on twitter saying, “WTF!”

Tags: anderson cooper |

23 Comments

anderson cooper might be gay

By brendon October 30, 2009 @ 10:30 AM

CNN star Anderson Cooper is on vacation in India this week, and some people feel the New York Post was trying to imply something with their article yesterday, but they were so coy about everything, it was hard to know what they were hinting at.

(Copper) was spotted Tuesday with his muscular friend, Benjamin Maisani, at the Rambagh Palace, named the best hotel in the world by Conde Nast Traveler. Cooper’s $3,200-a-night room features a four-poster mahogany bed and views of the gardens of the former Maharaja palace. Our source said, “Anderson’s room has a large round bathtub. On the first night it was filled with bubbles and sprinkled with red rose petals.” CNN declined to comment.

Hm, I don’t know. I think this might still be too subtle. Next time I’d like to see them capitalize random letters that spell out “HE’S GAY” or compare something he did to a massive storm that swallowed seamen, something like that.

Tags: anderson cooper |

158 Comments

ANDERSON COOPER FTW

By brendon August 05, 2008 @ 6:04 PM

Anderson Cooper was guest host this morning on "Regis and Kelly" and during a conversation about reality TV, he took a pretty awesome shot at Dina and Ali Lohan. He said:

"Allegedly a 14-year-old girl, looks to be about 60… I say that with concern and love. She allegedly wants to be a singer and or actor-slash-performer of some sort, striptease person, i don't know."

Hahahahaha, you suck Ali. But of course Dina had to comment when asked about it by OK:

"People are just cruel! This is bad karma for him."

Ohh. Zing. Good one. You know OK was stifling their laughter when they asked Dina the question. You might as well ask a catfish a question. Because of course Anderson is right. This entire family sucks. They should be flattered he even knows who they are. The next time he mentions her it will be because the Jonas Brothers ignore her at a party and then she has one of her "accidents" with a razor.

Tags: anderson cooper |

50 Comments