Arnold Schwarzenegger Wanders a Dystopian Wasteland Because You Just Had to Have That Burger (VIDEO)

Arnold Schwarzenegger exploited his celebrity and movie catchphrases to get himself elected governor of California then proceeded to accomplish absolutely nothing during his term of service. The Keebler elves worked more magic than Schwarzenegger who discovered environmentalism as an excuse to fly his private jet to locales anywhere but Sacramento.read more

Caitlyn and Arnold Are Buds

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Caitlyn Jenner were seen rubbing puffy faces at a recent event. The two have been friendsfor decades being the only two Republicans in Hollywood. Bruce Jenner in a wig looks exactly like the housekeeper mother of Schwarzenegger's unmentioned Spanish love child. Schwarzenegger was the first person to introduce Jenner to testicle-shrinking hormone supplements. Now that Jenneris looking to date...read more

Schwarzenegger Remains Super Clever

Arnold posted a photo to his Instagram announcing the title of the new Terminator film, Terminator: Genisys. Since Arnold has refused to learn more than a modicum of tourist level English even after nearly forty-five years of living in the U.S., everybody first assumed he misspelled the word genesis. Nein!The title is likely a mashing together of words 'genealogical' and 'system', although another theory holds it as a...read more

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Son Is A Tough Guy

It must be pretty cool to be the son of the star of such legendary action films as The Terminator, Total Recall and Jingle All the Way, as Arnold Schwarzenegger was Hollywood's biggest badass for at least two decades. But Patrick Schwarzenegger, who has carved himself a nice little niche as an extra in Adam Sandler movies, is apparently trying to establish his own bad boy street cred now, as he was tossed from the...read more

Wednesday Morning Headlines

VICTOR GARBER - of 'Argo', 'Titanic', 'Alias', etc., has come out and said he's gay. And good for him. No one should ever hide or be ashamed of the person they date, unless that person is from Alabama. (greg in hollywood) ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - whose movie 'the Last Stand' is getting surprisingly good reviews, did an AMA (Ask Me Anything) on reddit last night, later saying this was his favorite part, and even did a...read more

'Expendables 2' finally has a trailer

I take the fact that this opens with a finger-gun/sniper scene taken from 'The Losers' when Chris Evans did the exact same thing as a terrific sign! Now that scene has the advantage of being completely unintelligible.read more

Arnold and Stallone had surgery together

Arnold Schwarzenegger went on his WhoSay page last night, because apparently he has one of those, and posted this picture with the caption: "After all the action, stunts & physical abuse shooting The Expendables 2 and The Last Stand, it was time for a little tune up on my shoulder. Look who was coincidentally waiting in line behind me for his shoulder surgery. Now we're ready for another round of great times and...read more

Maria Shriver was (maybe) wearing her wedding ring

Maria Shriver is always saying she loves kids, but then Arnold Schwarzenegger went and had one with the housekeeper and suddenly she changed her mind. Typical woman. But this weekend she was wearing a ring that is reportedly her wedding ring, just like Arnold was last week, so maybe this means she's ready to take him back. And she should. He's suffered more than enough. It's not like she's some treat. (image source =...read more

Arnold is wearing his wedding ring again

Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't been seen wearing his wedding ring for several months, but INF reveals that he was wearing it again over the holidays while on vacation with his kids in Sun Valley, Idaho. And that he and Maria Shriver went to mass on Christmas Eve together. And that he apparently got his wedding ring from Jostens. NOTE: guh. the page was supposed to be back to normal today, so I apologize for it being so...read more

Thursday headlines, with Michelle Hunziker in a bikini

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - had lunch with his son Patrick today, and things seem to go fine. Which sucks because wouldn't it be badass if he went all apeshit with some kind of Oedipus complex. The Kennedys are all nuts so I figure there's still time. (popeater) KIM KARDASHIAN - is now engaged of course, but was the proposal filmed as footage for her reality show? Oh gosh, I wonder what the answer is. (people) JANE LYNCH...read more

Maria Shriver narc'd out Schwarzenegger

Many people have been wondering how Arnold Schwarzenegger was able to hide the existence of a son, the product of an affair with his housekeeper, for 13 years. Others have wondered how the secret managed to get out when it did. Well the answer to the second one is easy: his wife told the LA Times. Way to cock-block, Maria. I bet you're just pleased as punch. ...when Maria found out that Arnold was the father of...read more

'Terminator 5' just got cancelled

Just a few weeks ago, the biggest story about Arnold Schwarzenegger was that he was set to return to acting, most notably, reprising the role that made him a star. Which I assumed meant as Hercules, making me look like quite the fool. But now, with fathers day just a month away and multiple parties to plan for, the AP says he's not reprising that or anything else. A statement from Schwarzenegger's office Thursday says...read more

South Park made fun of Schwarzenegger

Hopefully Maria Shriver didn't sit down last night to relax and watch some TV, assuming that, as long as she avoided the news, she wouldn't have to hear anymore about her husband and his serial killer-like penis. Because Matt and Trey will sometimes turn in episodes of 'South Park' just hours before they air, and watching Butters mistake her for Skeletor is probably not gonna help her bruised ego any.read more

Arnold Schwarzenegger had two sons born the same week

As you may have noticed, something would have to have acid for blood in order for Arnold Schwarzenegger to not fuck it, and now the whores are coming out of the woodwork with the revelation that he had a child with his maid 13 years ago. One has even hired the worlds most punchable lawyer, with more perhaps on the way. Fox news says... The incident returned to the public's attention numerous allegations made over the...read more

Arnold has pretty weird taste

I try not to ever say anything mean about people who aren't public figures and who never wanted to be in the spotlight, but the new pictures of Mildred Patricia Baena, the maid Arnold Schwarzenegger got pregnant 13 years ago, are really putting that to the test. Umm... holy shit. I'll just mention again that Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the biggest stars Hollywood has ever had and the greatest bodybuilder of all...read more