Ben Affleck Jelly Spine And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 30, 2014 @ 12:32 PM

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Kevin Smith revealed that his bromance with vagina-chinned Ben Affleck ended because Jennifer Garner thinks Smith is a foul mouthed fat stoner piece of shit. It’s unclear if she had problems with parts of that or all of that. More importantly, this is another tale in the fast growing legend that is pussy-whipped Ben Affleck.

Read all about the death of nerd friendship. (Moviepilot)

Wanna see Jessica Alba in a bikini for Maxim? Why,yes! (Huffington Post)

Beyonce proves she and Jay Z aren’t getting a divorce through Instagram. (The Superficial)

Kimberly Garner and her ass model her bikinis just for you. (COED)

Today in Kim K feuds, she’s hates Adrienne Bailon. (Dlisted)

Abigail Ratchford knows what you need: bouncing boobies. (BroBible)

Kate Upton’s tits were featured in Elle. I guess she’s in it too. (Fishwrapper)

Batman’s Butt Chin And Shit Around The Web

By Jack July 25, 2014 @ 12:58 PM

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Zack Snyder revealed another look at Ben Affleck as Batman and it’s worse than we could have imagined. Ben Affleck’s stupid ass chin sticking out of that cowl feels like my inner child is getting kicked in the nuts. Effeminate controlling ass chin Batman is going to suck.

See more of Affleck ruining your childhood.(Dlisted)

Nina Agdal all sweaty in a bikini is why I get up in the morning. (Drunken Stepfather)

Megan Fox causes Comic-Con nerds to cum in their Chewbacca costumes. (Popoholic)

Harry Potter tells us about the time he got his V card punched. (Huffington Post)

Jennette McCurdy’s lingerie Instagram pics make my wiener happy. (The Superficial)

Nicola Peltz in a bikini? You’re welcome. (COED)

Paris Hilton and her lazy eye eat Carl’s Jr. burgers all sexy. (Fishwrapper)

Batman’s Looking Pretty Jacked

By Travis October 25, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Perennial Dad of the Year contender Ben Affleck picked his daughter, Violet, up from school yesterday for a little shopping in Los Angeles, and he was clearly sending a message to the legions of pissed off nerds that don’t want him playing Batman in Batman vs. Superman that they can doubt him all they want, but he is pretty fucking jacked now. That probably still won’t do much to convince some people, though, so for good measure he should have Jennifer Garner dress up as a really slutty Catwoman for Halloween. That also might not change any minds, but it’s at least worth a shot.

Photo Credit: WENN.com

The Runner Runner Premiere Was An A-List Affair

By Travis September 19, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

Ben Affleck’s and Justin Timberlake’s new “one for them” movie, Runner Runner, had its premiere at the Planet Hollywood Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas last night, and for at least a few minutes the red carpet was an A-list event. Obviously, Affleck and Timberlake showed up per their obligations, as did Gemma Arterton and Jessica Timberlake, but then the drop-off was pretty steep. Once Meatloaf arrived, it was basically like someone left the gate open and the rest of the Las Vegas “stars” saw some lights and just sort of wandered in.

(Photo Credits: DJDM/WENN.com)

Childhood Is Officially Dead, Ben Affleck Is Batman

By Jack August 23, 2013 @ 2:14 PM

Ben Affleck is going to play Batman in the sequel to Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel. Let that sink in. If you need a moment to go into the bathroom and cry and cut yourself, I understand. Snyder announced at Comic-Con this year that in the next Superman movie the Man of Steel would team up with Batman. The question then became who would play Batman now that Christian Bale screamed and emoted that he doesn’t want to do it anymore. Oceans of cyber-ink were spilled by nerds in chat rooms endlessly speculating about who it could be. No one saw this coming. Sure, Affleck turned out to be a pretty decent film director but he’s also seen far and wide as a bit of a softie, pretty boy, limited skills actor. Granted, he is one of the few actors in Hollywood who still has sex with women, so there’s that if it helps you sleep at night.

Ben Affleck: Courageous Politician

By Jack August 14, 2013 @ 1:29 PM

Ben Affleck is the latest Hollywood self-important figure considering entering politics. Affleck has been very vocal about his political beliefs over the years, using his fame as a soap box to tell the world what he thinks about important shit. But up until now he’s just shouted from the comfort of his LA mansion or over sake bombs at Nobu. His wife Jennifer Garner hinted at the possibility that the Just for Men beard-faced actor might enter politics one day. She said,

“Right now [Ben] feels like he can do more good for people politically from outside the system. Would I be surprised if one day he did go into politics? No. But not now.”

What I’ve never understood is why Hollywood celebrities think anyone cares what they think? What makes Affleck an expert on politics? Certainly not experience. The guy dresses up and plays pretend for a living. How many new careers does this guy need? It turns out he’s a pretty decent director and he should really stick to that. Sometimes, the best contribution you can make to the world is keeping your perfectly handsome nose the fuck out of it.