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Afternoon headlines

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY - his wife is pregnant for the second time, just 11 months after giving birth to their first child. I hope he still has time to make a shitty romantic comedy every six weeks. One where he and his ex-girlfriend are both lawyers and they end up going against each other would be amazing, and of course some kind of reverse "My Fair Lady" with him and Anne Hathaway needs to be done, just because...read more

Afternoon headlines

BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, "Why don't you get a house, jerk!" to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap) JON GOSSELIN - was caught...read more

Monday morning headlines

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE - The Hangover is the first movie of the summer to be number 1 two weeks in a row, adding 33m to its 105m total. Up was second with 30m (187m total), and Pelham 1 2 3 opened in one two third with 25m. Hopefully Zach Galifianakis will now be the huge star he deserves to be. It would also be terrific if this somehow led to Kate Beckinsale letting me nail her in the ass. (source = Variety) BRAD PITT...read more

afternoon headlines

BRITNEY SPEARS - is officially dating her agent, Jason Trawick. "They are totally and definitely dating," a source tells People. "He's the best thing that's happened to her." Well, yeah, but, how hard was that? Basically if he doesn't push her down the stairs she'll think he's David Niven. No one has any idea who that is, do they? BRAD PITT - paid 1M for a 9-ft painting called Etappe. This. It sounds expensive but...read more

"There is no split."

Earlier today there was a post with the headline, "It's an official split". And there was an ominous picture that showed Brad and Angelina looking in opposite directions. As if in life, as well as at Cannes. But this post has cute kissy-face pictures, which can only mean one thing. As previously implied by the headline, Brad and Angelina have not broken up and in fact are still very much together. I sent an email to...read more

"It's an official split."

This weeks version of the Brad Pitt-Angelina Jolie break-up story comes from the National Enquirer, which I don't like because they often get stuff like this right. I liked it better back when they just talked about leprechauns robbing banks or some shit. Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider. "They...read more

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Is that someone famous?

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie walked the red carpet at Cannes earlier today for the premiere of "Inglourious Basterds", the WWII movie written and directed by Quentin Tarantino, and as you might imagine the foreign press went insane. Which is cool because Pitt and Jolie are American. I like them out there as representatives of the US. Unless we can somehow get John Wayne to date the Statue of Liberty, I vote for these...read more

brad pitt is cool

Brad Pitt is one of the most famous people on earth, but he went relatively unnoticed this weekend when he took his boys Maddox and Pax to Niagara Falls. Probably because it’s Brad Pitt, one of the most famous people on earth, and he’s wearing a little 2 dollar poncho thing at Niagara Falls. How cool is this dude? Mariah Carey would damn and drain the entire thing before she did this while surrounded by 10,000 cameras....read more

angelia is pregnant

Star magazine will sometimes say just about anything but today they seem pretty confident with not one but two exclamation points in their headline that Angelina Jolie is pregnant again. Also there's a catfight over Rob."Yes, Angie is pregnant." A source close to the actress confirms that Angie is about two and a half months along. "She's thrilled. She said she knew she was pregnant before the test confirmed it!" Baby...read more

if only he really was doing this

Star magazine says today that John Mayer is considering a tell-all book about his relationship with Jennifer Aniston, where he’ll, um, you know, tell all. Including the time during sex when ... when ... wait for it ... she called him “Brad”. Star, go:...what embarrassing info could John reveal? For one, Jen made a slip of the tongue calling John "Brad" in bed! He also knows all about her obsessive exercise regime,...read more

brad is banging the nanny. maybe.

The cover story for today’s Star magazine claims that Angelina Jolie caught her lover Brad Pitt makin the moves on a “pretty young nanny.” He was allegedly rubbing her back, which several of my girlfriends swear is what people mean when they say “third base”. This nanny sounds like a real whore. Star says... Angelina flew into a jealous rage when she walked past the open bedroom door of 8-month-old twins, Knox and...read more

guess who gets mentioned here

This is the first I’ve heard of it, but apparently Jennifer Aniston used to be married to Brad Pitt. Elle magazine somehow got Jenn to open up about those days for their latest issue, probably by using some kind of torture. "I don't owe anybody anything. I don't owe anybody my side of the story. There are no sides! There is no bad guy and there is no good guy. There are no villains and there is no heroine in this...read more

jennifer aniston still loves brad

The big predicted showdown between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston at the Oscars never really happened, except in Jenifer Aniston’s mind of course. I can’t even tell at this point if Angelina even knows who Aniston is. OK magazine says...??"Jen couldn't have cared less whether Angie was at the Oscars. Her mind was fixated on Brad. Once her eyes met Brad's that night, it rekindled all the old feelings. She has never...read more

angelina wants a $20m diamond

The Academy Awards are this Sunday, and much has been made of the fact that both Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston will be on the red carpet. I have no idea why. Angelina is a massive global movie star and the best looking woman on earth. Aniston is a fug bore who used to be on a sitcom. Nonetheless, Jolie is determined to be the one everyone is talking about. OK! says...Preparing for the Academy Awards is a frenzied...read more

will smith is number one

Forbes magazine has named Will Smith the most bankable star in Hollywood after an industry survey asking what actors can most easily attract financing, theatrical distribution, and an audience. Angelina Jolie tied for second on the list, and was one of only three women in the top 20. So don’t confuse this with the Top 20 People Who Beat Me Up In The Third Grade. That list only had two girls names on it.read more