Brad Pitt Bids On Highest Escort Date In Hollywood

January 8, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Mother of Dragons Emilia Clarke is a hot item right now and Brad Pitt is driving up her value with his $120,000 bid for a HBO Go and chill date. Certainly strange that a man considered one of the most attractive in Hollywood has to pay for time with women so there must be an […]

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Brad Pitt Uses Proper Name To Pick Up Women

January 6, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Brad Pitt probably solved celebrity men’s problems long before being accused of sexual harassment had become a Hollywood thing. Instead of attempting to sleep with other stars, shoot lower and land amongst the working class pedestrians. Brad became the Casanova of the coffee shop introducing himself as William, lover of lattes and consensual intercourse. I’m […]

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Angelina Jolie Insists She’s the Same Old Anorexic Angelina As Before

November 20, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Jolie has appeared rail thin for many years now. It’s easy to write this off as a natural body frame for Jolie. Much like her admitted cocaine and heroin consumption were natural sources of nutrition.

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Brad Pitt Didn’t Back Down When Weinstein Encroached On Gwyneth Paltrow

October 12, 2017 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When you’re known for giving people pikey poundings on screen, threatening elite sexual favor seekers with a Missouri whooping off screen isn’t too far behind. Brad Pitt saves the day again.

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Angeline Jolie Martyrs Like No Other

July 27, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Hollywood loves to dole itself out awards. Save for the most honest categories. Like biggest martyr. Literally everybody’s in contention. But Angelina Jolie likely slides in for the win.

 

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Brad Pitt Has Softened

May 4, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Watching the Brad Pitt of 2017 is like watching a player who stayed too long in the game. This guy was once your hero. Now he’s broken and passed around by sailors in the boiler room who haven’t seen a dame in three months. 

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Angelina Jolie Master Plans

December 6, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

According to sources that keep ringing TMZ’s ear, Angelina Jolie’s master plan remains a move to England with her six United Colors of Benetton kids and an ultimate push for the Secretary General of the United Nations gig. She remains the only attractive women ever to be interested in the United Nations.

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Melissa Etheridge Throws Shade At Angelina

October 7, 2016 | celebrity | matt-ralston| 0 Comments

You totally wish Melissa Etheridge was your drunk aunt. You’ve got to have a pretty good sense of humor to let your lesbian partner be shot up with David Crosby’s jizz. Seriously, you could have picked just about anyone, why a walrus with drug genes?

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Pitt-Jolie Children Traumatized

October 5, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Nothing sucks worse than being adopted out of a war torn third world country only to end up in the killing fields of a Hollywood power couple divorce. Naturally, excluding bitter bloggers who mock children. Fuck them.

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What the Fuck Has Happened to Men? A Brad Pitt Emasculation Saga

October 3, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Brad Pitt is facing his wife’s departure and accusations of screaming drunkenly at his teenaged son, what we used to call typical parenting, with all the backbone of a middle child barista.

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