Bruce Willis Hitting Broadway

By Matt March 05, 2015 @ 8:07 AM


Bruce Willis is going to star in a Broadway adaptation of Steven King’s Misery which chronicles a writer forced to live with a fat annoying chick who sledge hammers his lower limbs reminding everyone how fucking crazy female roommates are. I don’t attend stage plays since I bought a TV several years back and nobody I want to fuck insists upon it. But in my layman’s opinion, this seems like a bad idea. Movies allow for cuts and re-takes. On stage there’s no turning away from a squinty guy who says his name is Bruno and mumbles into a harmonica occasionally. If you want to get dressed up and shell out several hundred bucks impress your secretary you may as well take her to a male review starring the guy from Beverly Hills 90210. You can smoke your pipe while he gives it to her in the dressing room. That’s what you get for acting like a pretentious cunt rag. Grow a pair and attend the rodeo. She’ll thank you later.

Photo Credit: Getty Images 

Rambo Talks Shit About John McClane

By Michael August 08, 2013 @ 11:35 AM

Sylvester Stallone is talking mad action hero shit about his former Expendables castmate Bruce Willis. A couple of days ago it came out that Willis wouldn’t appear in Expendables 3 and he would be replaced by the walking corpse of what was Harrison Ford. There was speculation as to why Willis would quit as the franchise does pretty decent business. Apparently, it’s because Stallone, (who co-writes and produces the series), thinks Willis isn’t worth the money. Sly tweeted:


And in all caps too, so you know it’s serious! We can infer that the greedy part is that Willis wanted more money and Stallone thought he didn’t deserve it. Now, I don’t know what went on in the sleazy backrooms of Hollywood that led to this decision, but I do know one thing: Stallone is no one to give career advice to Bruce Willis. Let’s face it, after the 80′s and before the first Expendables…Stallone was more MIA than those old soldiers John Rambo rescued in Rambo: First Blood 2. Willis has worked nonstop since his days flirting with Cybill Shepherd back when she was hot on Moonlighting. But Stallone certainly has things Willis doesn’t have, namely an Oscar, an ex-porn career, and his hair. So, there’s that.

its the ‘Good Day To Die Hard’ trailer

By brendon October 05, 2012 @ 7:14 PM

‘A Good Day To Die Hard’ doesn’t have a very good director, or writer, or premise (John McClane goes to Russia to save his son), so it will probably be terrible, but the trailer is ok, and Bruce Willis is always good, and it at least it has Julia Snigir unzipping her jacket on a motorcycle. It will be interesting to see what her name looks like on the movie poster. Spacing is very important with this one. The last thing you want is for JULIA SNIGIR to look like JULIAS NIGIR.

‘Expendables 2′ finally has a trailer

By brendon May 03, 2012 @ 4:01 PM

I take the fact that this opens with a finger-gun/sniper scene taken from ‘The Losers’ when Chris Evans did the exact same thing as a terrific sign! Now that scene has the advantage of being completely unintelligible.

Ashton has finally visited Demi

By brendon February 02, 2012 @ 7:26 PM


Ashton Kutcher has been criticized lately because he’s essentially done nothing to show any kind of support for Demi Moore since she was hospitalized last week, but keep in mind that Ashton Kutcher is a jackass. Seems unrealistic to think that was just gonna magically stop now.

Thankfully, E! says he’s finally found time in his busy schedule to swing by.

On Wednesday, Bruce Willis was spotted paying a visit to (Demi). Later in the day … Ashton Kutcher was seen pulling into the actress’ driveway in a blacked-out Lexus.

That’s not a bad impulse actually. Just do that Ashton. Just follow Bruce Willis around and do whatever he does, since he seems to know what he’s doing, and you’re practically retarded.

its Wes Anderson at his Wes Andersonest

By brendon January 13, 2012 @ 1:11 PM

It’s been said that you could pull almost any still from a Wes Anderson movie and use it as a poster, because every image in every shot will be symmetrical and beautifully framed. And that’s clearly true for his next movie too, which, if he were being honest, he’d call, ‘An Anamorphic Wide-Angle Lens Shooting To-Camera Medium-Shots, part 6.’