Charlie Sheen Rescues Brian Williams And Shit Around The Web

Brian Williams is in a shitload of trouble, so naturally who you want defending your name is Charlie Sheen. Charlie called what's happening to Williams a "witch hunt". I wonder why Sheen even cares? Maybe they used to do blow together at the Playboy mansion? Read all about Charlie's defense of lyin' Brian. (TMZ) Unpronounceable hottie Paula Bulczynska shows off her bare tits. (Egotastic) Elizabeth Olsen has some...read more

Charlie Sheen Slams Kim Kardashian, Why Not

Charlie Sheen went on a Twitter rant while sober people were sleeping about an at best second hand story regardingKim Kardashian. It centered around herreportedly denying a six year old girl an autograph. This is according to his friend C Thomas Howell who nobody knew had a drug problemuntil now, although it's hard to discern if Sheen was talking to the actual Howell or shadow people. If the story is true the rant...read more

Charlie Sheen Allowed Around Children

Charlie Sheen and his ex procreation and crack smoking partner Brooke Mueller have agreed on a custody arrangement of their troubled twin sons. Sheen will be allowed monitored visits as he flop sweats through two hours of sobriety while a social worker plays frisbee with the little Damien children. The arrangement follows information that Sheen was wasted while the kids visited in the past. No word on whether or not...read more

Dumped Charlie Sheen Fiancee Tries to Off Herself! I Don't Know, Maybe

According to reports, the porn star Charlie Sheen dumped before a scheduled marriage this month was rushed to the hospital over the weekend to have her stomach pumped following an overdose. It's unclear what Brett Rossi overdosed on. Leading speculation is either kale salad or prescription pharmaceuticals. If you've ever eaten too much fucking kale, you know which is worse. It can't be easy when the love of your life...read more

Charlie Sheen Is Lawsuit Prone

Charlie Sheen is being sued by a dental assistant who he maybe grabbed her tits and told her he was going to fucking kill her. She says Sheen was high on crack, which he says is ridiculous because crack is such a catchall term used by laymen who don't understand the various rock cocaine options like he does. Sheen claims he was merely on a bunch of prescription drugs for a shoulder injury, which he most likely injured...read more

Charlie Sheen Probably Not Sober

Charlie Sheen admits he freaked out at his dentist office and flailed his arms around knocking over a bunch of shit, but says he was totally sober. Accept for an untold molehill of prescription meds he was taking for a supposed shoulder injury, but those drugs don't count because they are taxed. A dental assistant claims Sheen hit her and pulled a knife on her. Charlie says he was merely spazzing out after being given...read more

Charlie Sheen Has an Inkling

Charlie Sheen wants to return to Two And A Half Men as his former character who was killed off after Sheen left the show due to cocaine and later on, even more cocaine. Before being fired, Sheen blasted the show as being contrite and dull, which led the producers to hire Ashton Kutcher as Sheen's replacement to keep the winning formula. Sheen's probably too proud to admit it, but he probably misses his ten hours a...read more

Charlie Sheen Sold Denise Richards' Home

Charlie Sheen's pursuit of his ex-wife's unhappiness has jumped from threatening on Twitter to have her child support payments reduced to sending his lawyers in with boxes and a moving truck. According to Radar, Charlie and Brett Rossi want Denise Richards out of their gated community, so he went ahead and sold the house that Denise and his kids had been living in to a friend. Charlie had reportedly been pissed that...read more

Rihanna And Charlie Sheen Aren't Friends

Charlie Sheen still believes that he's one of the most important people in the world, so if he walks into a restaurant and sees another celebrity that his fiancée, Brett Rossi, wants to meet, that celebrity better fucking comply, or else he will let them feel his wrath. Rihanna was the latest example last week, because even though Charlie claimed he had no clue who Rihanna was at the time, he "sent a request" to her...read more

Charlie Sheen's Next Wife Is Still Married to Somebody Else

Porn stars can be the most forgetful people. If it weren't for their helpful cadre of drug-supplying personal assistants, they'd walk right outside with men still inside of them. You can't blame Brett Rossi for forgetting that she was still married to some other dude when Charlie Sheen got down on one knee to find his missing eight-ball and also asked the multi-orifice queen to be his fourth wife. It's an exciting...read more

Brett Rossi To Be The Next Future Ex-Mrs. Charlie Sheen

Dragon-blooded warlock Charlie Sheen is now officially engaged to his professionally gang-banged girlfriend, Brett Rossi. The Hot Shots: Part Deuxstar flew Rossi on a private jet to Hawaii to pop the question. The two have been mutually squeezing Charlie's penis pump for a while and there were rumors that they had already gotten married a few months ago. But it turned out to be just Sheen being a precocious scamp and...read more

Charlie Sheen Threatened Ashton Kutcher

Despite the fact that he's collecting paycheck after paycheck on his own terrible show, Charlie Sheen is apparently still pissed off and bitter that Two and a Half Men moved on without him. Meanwhile, most of us are still pissed off and bitter that it ever existed in the first place. On Wednesday, Charlie Tweeted at Ashton Kutcher to "quit barfing on my old brilliant show," which caused Ashton to respond to him on...read more

Charlie Sheen May Be Married, Again

Charlie Sheen claims that he married his porn star girlfriend Brett Rossi but he may be lying. It all started when the former star of Hot Shots: Part Deux and that shitty Two and A Half Men show Tweeted a photo of him and Rossi visiting a famous mansion in Reykjavik, Iceland. It was there that Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev had one of their old guy cold war chats. So, naturally this would be the place where the...read more

Charlie Sheen Not So Subtly Threatens Denise Richards

Denise Richards has angered the Warlock, Charlie Sheen, into cutting up a wedding souvenir baseball bat with a bayonet. It seems that the tiger-blooded star of such classic films as Hot Shots: Part Deuxand You Can't Arrest Me, I'm Made of Fuck You Money is mad at his ex-wife for not inviting him along on the family Christmas trip with their kids Lola and Sam. Pretty shitty, I guess. I'm not entirely sure I'd want...read more

Brett Rossi is the Former Porn Star that Stole Charlie Sheen's Heart

Charlie Sheen's days of nailing everything with two feet may be numbered, because the 48-year old actor who looks like he's at least 60 claims that his current girlfriend, former porn star Brett Rossi, is the love of his life. Charlie recently put on a hell of a sickening public display with Brett for everyone with a camera to conveniently witness, but while he's busy accusing his former porn star girlfriends of...read more