Chris Brown Loves to Fight the Ladies and Shit Around the Web

If you're an ex-con based on beating your girlfriend, you should probably just stick to paid company moving forward. You definitely should not be out drinking with another ex-girlfriend looking for round two. You're not Mayweather. You're not getting paid. Chris Brown... read more

Karrueche Tran Tempts Fate

Karrueche Tran has been feuding on Instagram with her ex-boyfriend Chris Brown because Brown is super tough on the Internet and his emojis elicit high fives from his gang banger buddies. Tran inserted model Tyson Beckfordonto her pageto use hishairlessman ass as a pawn... read more

Chris Brown Attracts Winners

Chris Brown returned to his home in Los Angeles from Vegas to find this 21 year old chick sleeping in his bed. Normally I'd say go for a quickie and send Goldilocks packing with a free iPod shuffle. A man's got to unwind from that drive and that beats beating off to the... read more

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Chris Brown Tries Beating Up A Dude

Chris Brown got in a fightin Vegas while playing basketball in his hotel suite with some dude he most likely hired from the Washington Generals' minor league affiliate. Brown recently got off probation for beating the ever loving shit out of Rihanna and then smoking lots... read more

Chris Brown Blocks Chrissy Teigen On Twitter

That uneasy feeling you get when you realize Chris Brown has shut you out of his life. There's really no preparing for it. It hits you like a dirty hand of hot Chinese mustard to the lachrymal gland. You'll pretend you're just vulnerable from your period, but really... read more

Chris Brown's Stupid Baby Name And Shit Around The Web

Chris Brown named his new bastard baby, Royalty. It's a nice play on words given her regal breeding and the fact that she'll someday be utilizing her bio dad's music royalties to pay for her court ordered rehab. I'm holding back my puke until Chris Brown makes his first... read more

Chris Brown Has A Child, Karrueche Bails

Breaking the news to your long time girlfriend that you've been declared dad to some other chick's new baby is no simple task. You're going to want to find a nice public spot and make sure she's sober. Also, stretchyour rapper credit line at the jewelry store. Something... read more

Chris Brown Might Be Going To Jail And Shit Around The Web

Chris Brown might be someone's girlfriend soon as a judge just revoked his probation. The dumbass girl beater traveled out of the country and didn't finish his community service. He better stop washing his ass now because they are going to tear him apart in jail. Read... read more

Chris Brown Gets His Dick Back

Porn star Kagney Linn Karter, potentiallynot her Christian name, claims Chris Brown bullied her after he paid for her company but she refused to let him invade her privates. There was apparently some confusion over exactly what 'I will pay you, and then fuck you, and... read more

Chris Brown Dumb Down His Lambo

Chris Brown hired some guy to paint a bunch of illegible Sanskrit looking letters on his Lamborghini. The text is supposedlythe lyrics to a Tupac songthough they could also read, Chris Brown is a pussy tool who takes numerous men up his ass. That's the danger in hiring a... read more

Chris Brown Seems Stupid High

Chris Brown tweeted his half assed opinion that Ebola is apparently a government engineered form of population control. There was some liberty involved in that summary because it took longer to hash out than Brown's own opinion: "I don't know ... But I think this Ebola... read more

Kendall Jenner Is Cruising for a Bruising

According to a typically spotty US Weekly report, Kendall Jenner is infatuated with Chris Brown. Jenner reportedly took a liking to him after he was released from jail for beating Rihanna. In the world of US Weekly articles written at the 8th grade level, that makes him... read more