Chris Rock Gave Porn To Dying Kid (VIDEO)

By Jack August 06, 2013 @ 1:38 PM


Chris Rock says he once snuck the Pam Anderson sex tape into the hands of a dying kid. Yes. Rock was on Jerry Seinfeld’s webseries Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee when he told Jerry how he helped a young man in the Make a Wish Foundation to see Pam Anderson’s tits before he left this Earth.

“I had a Make a Wish kid, like a 15-year-old kid dying of cancer, and I snuck him the, uh, Pam Anderson sex tape. He’s dead now.”

To which Seinfeld replied, “But he lived a little more.” I think this is one of the best stories of celebrity altruism I’ve heard in a while. A lot of celebs do charity work in order to make themselves look good in the public eye. But what could Rock possibly have gained from secretly giving a sick boy a video where Pam sucks Tommy Lee’s giant shlong? Nothing but the satisfaction of knowing that he perhaps gave the kid a little bit of joy in his time of dying. Everybody should have a friend as good as Chris Rock.

Adam Sandler gave his friends new Maseratis

By brendon November 09, 2010 @ 5:25 PM

spl218617_001

People either like Adam Sandler movies or they don’t, but about the worst thing you ever hear abut him personally is that he’s too loyal to his old friends. Meaning he keeps casting people like David Spade and Rob Schneider when no one else ever would. So it pays to be Adam Sandlers friend. In fact it’s awesome. The Daily Mail says…

But not only is Sandler a good father – he also appears to be mega-generous and showed this off by surprising his co-stars from his movie Grown Ups with some very impressive gifts recently.
Comedian Chris Rock revealed that his former Saturday Night Live friend was in an Oprah give-away mood following the huge success of their film.
‘I went outside the other day and I had a new Maserati in the driveway’, Rock said today.
Rock said he soon found out that his other co-stars – David Spade, Rob Schneider and Kevin James all found the $200,000 sports car in their driveway.

I hope when I’m real rich I’ll be this nice to my friends, instead of spreading rumors about them and trying to fuck their girlfriends, like I do now.

(image source of Sandler filming Jack and Jill = splash news)

chris rock is understanding

By brendon April 08, 2010 @ 4:01 PM

Chris Rock was on Letterman last night, and because it’s still such a touchy subject, Rock was kind enough to wait 24 seconds before mentioning Lettermans affairs. The Huff Post says…

David Letterman was suffering from a hoarse voice on his show Wednesday night, and his guest, Chris Rock, didn’t make things any easier on him.
“Dave, what the hell happened to your voice? Things going bad at home?” Rock asked. “You’re still doing the show? You’re a rich man, you could just go home! Wife still mad at you, ain’t she.”
“I was backstage, you fired all the cute girls,” Rock continued. “Got a bunch of fat old guys there! The vibe is horrible, man, horrible!”
Letterman laughed, “I tell you, some of those guys are starting to look pretty good.”

Remember when Kimmel heckled Leno on his own show? And Leno just stood there like a dullard? Do they pump opium through the vents in that place? Say something you dummy. The front doors of the Tonight Show studio are like a mouth, eating the happiness from all who pass through.

STUFF FROM ALL OVER

By brendon April 04, 2008 @ 12:52 PM

CHRIS ROCK IS NERVOUS – TMZ says that Chris Rock was a nervous wreck today while testifying in the Anthony Pellicano wiretapping case.

A freaked-out Rock took the stand for roughly 15 minutes to talk about a most uncomfortable subject — DNA and baby mamas. As we already reported, Rock's attorney hired the P.I. to the stars to investigate Monica Zsibrita, who had claimed she and Rock had hooked up, and that he was the father of her child. DNA proved otherwise, so Zsibrita changed her tune, alleging Rock raped her.

If I were Rock and I saw this chick I would just start hitting her with my shoe.

IS THE JAY Z / BEYONCE WEDDING TODAY? – sure why not.

MISS ENGLAND IS THIS WEEKEND – as long as Stedman Graham, Parker Stevenson and Buffalo Bill are all judges, I like Miss Surrey's odds.



IN THE FREEZER? WTF.

By brendon March 14, 2008 @ 11:15 AM

Everyone loves a good rape story, but this one is even better than normal. The Huffington Post has a pretty remarkable audio tape from a 2001 conversation between Cris Rock and embattled Hollywood private investigator Anthony Pellicano. They talk for over 30 minutes about a woman Monica Zsibrita, who had accused Rock of rape. She also claimed to be pregnant with his child. Both these claims were false. No charges were ever filed and Rock was cleared completely. Rock admitted to having sex with her, but said it was completely consensual. Zsibritas case was based around a sample of Rocks semen that she kept in her freezer (NOTE – do not snack on things in Monica Zsibritas freezer). Some highlights:

14:00
Pellicano (reading from report): "He tried to pull out and ejaculated on her thighs. She immediately got up and went to the bathroom where she cleaned up with a Kleenex. She put the Kleenex in her pocket."

15:55
CR: I've been so set up…
AP: Did you come on her thighs?…
CR: I had a rubber on. I probably took it off right when I was getting ready to come. I probably came on her ass.

30:05
CR: Rape is just fucking, buzz, you know?… Once your accused of rape, you're just FUCKED, you know?
AP: That's why I want to blacken this girl up, totally. I want to make her out to be a lying, scumbag, manipulative cocksucker… Stupid bitch
CR: I'm fucked. I'm better getting caught with needles in my arm. WAY better. Needles, with pictures, there's Chris Rock shooting heroin. Much better blow to the career.

It’s always awkward to take sides in a story about rape, because I’ve never been raped, but ATMs in strip clubs have, like, a 20 dollar surcharge fee, so in a very real sense I have been raped.  In fact, most would agree that I’m the real victim here.