Dave Chapelle Loaded

By Matt April 27, 2015 @ 8:04 AM

DC

Dave Chapelle did a show in Detroit which mostly entailed him smoking cigarettes and playing I Spy with himself while his body went into hibernation mode. He took the stage an hour late, although the crowd was for some reason still being seated well past showtime. Perhaps Dave decided to get shit faced as a form of protest. I drank a twelve pack once in the name of ending puppy mills. Hero is a strong word. Chapelle is sometimes prone to rambling painfully long sets where he forgets to do comedy. At one point someone yelled at him to tell some jokes:

I don’t care at all. I know you all have work in the morning but I can do this all night… Well sir, it’s a little late for that. Right now I’ve gotta get off the stage because it’s 2:00 in the morning.”

It was actually 1 am, not 2. Chapelle really has no obligation to do a good show beyond what many feel is an ethical obligation to earn your paycheck. I wonder if he knows this is his farewell tour. The city of Detroit is also not an innocent party. Showing up late high on bath salts with sandwich bags full of gin in your stockings and heckling the performer isn’t going to get you anywhere. You could have bought a three bedroom house for the price of admission. Everyone get their shit together and we’ll reconvene in a few months. I want to see some action this time.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Dave Chappelle Can’t Win

By Matt April 01, 2015 @ 6:06 AM

Englander

A guy was arrested for throwing a banana peel at Dave Chappelle during a live show and striking him in the leg. Christian Englander was booked on disorderly conduct and battery. He claims he had eaten the banana earlier and just happened to have the peel on hand and this was not a premeditated racial statement. Let’s say he’s not lying. Could you not find another object? Spent cups of beer don’t conjure up images of oppression at the hands of the white devil. You threw a fucking banana at a black comic tortured by obvious acts of stupid racism. Chappelle didn’t see this coming, even though he envisions it happening every five minutes of his waking day. Now it’s back to the bunker and those pills that give you dry mouth. Or a new hour of material. Move to Spain where they encourage this type of shit. Unfortunately their amphetamine situation remains spotty.

Photo Credit: SantaFeSprings.org/Police

Prince Gets Meta On His New Album Cover

By Jack August 20, 2013 @ 3:51 PM

Prince’s new album cover for “Breakfast Can Wait” isn’t a picture of the real prince, it’s Dave Chappelle. The picture is a screengrab from a classic sketch on Chappelle Show in which Charlie Murphy tells the tale of playing basketball with Prince…and losing. Then Prince made them pancakes. This was back before Chappelle went fucking nuts and flew to Africa to find himself or some shit. It’s an interesting choice for Prince. It’s pretty meta, which all the kids are into these days. I miss him putting hot chicks with big ‘ol titties riding on purple motorcycles or whatever on his albums.

Monday headlines, with romance and fitness

By brendon June 27, 2011 @ 2:58 PM

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DAVE CHAPELLE – walked around NYC this weekend, and if you’re wondering what he’s been doing since he left ‘The Chapelle Show’, the answer apparently is, “millions of push-ups.” (flynet)

BRAVE – has a new brand new teaser trailer out today. It would seem next summers Pixar movie tells the timeless tale of Bear vs Ginger. (trailer addict)

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS – announced his engament to David Burtka on twitter this weekend, shortly after New York passed a law to allow gay marriage. It should be a beautiful ceremony, assuming God doesn’t smite the state under a shower of fire and brimstone first. (popeater)

DANIEL CRAIG AND RACHEL WEISZ – secretly got married in New York last Wednesday. They of course didn’t have to wait like Neil Patrick Harris did because their love isn’t an affront to our vengeful God. (daily mail)

JWOWW – and the cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ are back from filming season 4 in Italy, and being surrounded by all that beauty and culture must have been a life changing experience because yesterday she went to the gym with her tits on display. Oh wait never mind. (inf, splash)

Thursday headlines, with the return of Dave Chapelle

By brendon June 16, 2011 @ 6:47 PM

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DAVE CHAPELLE – is creating a new show that will air on a subscription service like Netflix or Hulu, where all the best comedies are found. (the daily)

TUPAC – would have been 40 today, and his 1996 murder is still unsolved, but yesterday a man claimed that he was hired by rap mogul James Rosemond to rob and shoot Tupac. Pac survived but later was killed in a similar ambush. Rosemond is denying these charges, but we should tell him Justin Bieber called him a fag and dared him to retaliate just in case. (fox)

OPRAH WINFREY – has a plan to boost her fledging cable network, OWN; “I have a dream of O.J. Simpson confessing to me. And I am going to make that happen.” And I have a dream where the guards forget to search OJ before leaving him alone with Oprah, and then things don’t go so well if you catch my drift. (thr)

BELEN RODRIGUEZ – did a photo shoot today in Ibiza, Spain, and who is Belen Rodriguez, you may ask? She’s a model from Argentina who looked better in these pictures before I opened the thumbnails but after I bought them from the photo agency, that’s who. (splash)