Though he’s adamantly denying it and she’s had no comment, the new issue of Life and Style says that Donald Trump cheated on his wife while she was pregnant with porn star Stormy Daniels (geaux tigers!). I have no idea if that’s true or not but I can understand if it was. Stormy is hot, and pregnant women are creepy. If you were trump what is there to even think about it.
LINDSAY LOHAN - was in a bar, “belligerently drunk” and “falling all over the place” after doing shots “all night” Saturday, then around 2am she grabbed the wrist of a girl trying to take her picture while a friend took the girls camera and dunked it in an ice bucket. Why would she do this just 3 days after getting yet another “last chance” from a judge? Because Lindsay is an asshole, that’s why. (radar)
M BONE - of Cali Swag District (the group behind the dougie dance) was shot and killed during a drive-by outside a liquor store last night, perhaps by a guy he got into a fight with on twitter over a girl. If you have any information, contact the police on Black Stereotype Island. (tmz)
DONALD TRUMP - will not run for President, just like lots of other completely unqualified people with no chance of winning. (us)
GRETCHEN ROSSI - wore a bikini this weekend. “Who is Gretchen Rossi”, you may ask? Well that’s that’s a good question. I like your inquisitive nature. Let me know what you turn up. (bauer griffin)
11.12.2009 afternoon headlines
OPRAH WINFREY - had Charla Nash as a guest on her show yesterday. She’s the woman from Connecticut who had her face and hands bitten off by a pet monkey last year. It’s hard to describe what she looks like now, so just scream at the top of your lungs. There. She looks like that. (oprah.com)
DONALD TRUMP - is number 2 on this list of the ten highest paid men on television. He somehow made 50M off ‘the Apprentice’, which must mean the 10 people who knew that dumb shit was even still on the air all own around 900 tv’s each. (ny post)
DEAD PEOPLE - The ABC obstacle course game show ‘WipeOut’ had a contestant die after performing on the show. The 33yo man complained of pain in his knee, then had a stroke and later died. A disease that left him prone to blood clots is being blamed, at least if you listen to the Jew-run media. What’s the real end game here? Out in my car I’ve got some stuff you should read. (the wrap)
SELENA GOMEZ - went to the TV Guide Hot List Party last night, and she turned 17 in July, meaning I can finish writing this post in just about 8 months. (getty images)
12.07.2007 DONALD TRUMP IS NOT A GOOD TIPPER
This may come as a surprise, but some of the email you get claiming to be from sorority girls may not be 100 percent truthful. Like I saw an ad promising "Hot Girls In Your Area". I looked down at my area and didn't see any hot girls there, so I gave them my credit card and it turns out they meant something else. The point to all this is that the email I got yesterday saying Donald Trump tipped some jerk-off 10 grand was all a lie. Page Six says:
Trump might be generous, but he didn't tip a Santa Monica waiter $10,000 on Monday. The tycoon says he wasn't even in California. Derober.com published a copy of a MasterCard receipt showing that Trump tipped $10,000 on an $82.27 bill after dining at the Buffalo Club, but Trump told Page Six it was a hoax. "This was done by the stupid restaurant to get publicity," he said. ". . . It's not my signature." The Web site not only ran an interview with waiter Billy D but also posted a video of the supposed server walking to his car.
I'm tempted to go to the Buffalo Club and just start kicking people, but this may not be their fault, so I may just kick the women. You probably think it's pretty brave to fight that many women at once, but I'm not scared. I'll fight any woman here!!!
12.06.2007 DONALD TRUMP IS A GOOD TIPPER
Please know that if you're a sorority girl and you write an email and tell me to put something on the page, I'll probably do it. Because sorority girls are hot, and they usually put out. Fuck, if you want me to stand in your sorority house living room so you can whack golf balls at me, I'll probably do that too, because I figure there's at least a 98 percent chance a panty pillow fight will break out or you'll decide you need to practice French kissing on one another. This email is from Leslie, who I heard can tie a cherry stem into a knot with just her tongue.
My friend works at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. A couple days ago Donald Trump came in and left him a $10,000 tip! My friends think he's just trying to promote his celebrity Apprentice but whatever. He told me Donald hardly even talked to him until the end when he asked, "What's the biggest tip you ever got?" I guess Jerry Bruckheimer comes in a lot and once tipped him $500 on a $1000 tab. Trump just wanted to show he's got the biggest dick!
I hope that last part is just an expression, because you're not allowed to just drop your dick on a table in the middle of a restaurant. Trust me. Saying "I got your tip right here, honey" only makes it worse.
04.25.2007 DONALD TRUMP OWNS ROSIE O’DONNELL
You had to know Donald Trump was gonna relish today as Rosie O'Donnell went public with her intentions to "quit" the View at the end of this season, and Fox News was the first to get him on the phone and ask what he thought. The only way he could own her any more is if he rode onto stage on a white horse and stabbed her in the heart with a joust, then dumped her into a volcano.
