Donald Trump Coming for Kristin Davis' Black Baby

It's hard to relate the visceral hysteria taking place in Hollywood over the Trump presidential victory without being here. Picture World War II London schoolchildren packed into basements as bombs fell upon their city. Only picture them far less brave. Also, picture... read more

Rocking the Vote Ain't What It Never Was

To every institution, media outlet, and youth oriented marketing firm which ever used or borrowed the term, "Rocking the Vote", it's never ever actually worked before. As a brief FYI, twelve year old Katy Perry fans can't vote. read more

Trump Lookalike Seems To Be Having Fun

Alison Jackson actually makes a decent living as an artist so you must give her some deference to rank commercialism. If you're going to spend dollars doctoring up a Trump lookalike and a reasonable set, you're not going to satirically homage Trump giving a speech on... read more

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Guy Admits To Killing Trump's Star

Some guy named James Otis destroyed Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in order to protest sexual assault and also that the nearby Buffalo Wild Wings refuses to give him free club soda. read more

Jessica Drake Trump Rape Story

There aren't many people left with less credibility than Donald Trump. In fact C-list porn stars might be the only person not deserving the benefit of the doubt since they let people jizz on their chins for fifteen hundred dollars, footage of which can easily be pulled up... read more

Donald Trump Fired Khloe Kardashian For Valid Reasons

Now is a good time to be an anonymous source or have a cushy AP job. Who's checking the sources? Absolutely nobody but they'll be printed. You really sacrificed your integrity, AP Guy #37, here's a 4 percent raise. read more

First Black Miss Teen USA Heard Donald Trump Was Racist

The Trump accusers are a motley crew. They make the Cosby accusers look like ancient Greek stoics. Unlike the Fat Albert victims who shared their stories through the years to an unsympathetic audience, the Trump claimants have activated simultaneously in October 2016 like... read more

Trump Called America's Deaf Sweetheart a Retard

Half of Hollywood is currently temping for the Clinton campaign digging up anything they can find with Trump making derogatory statements about women, or in this case, a deaf woman. Trump trollers are finding shit left and right, anonymously quoted, naturally. They all... read more

Tom Brady No Comment On Trump

Tom Brady is friends with Donald Trump because he gets free golf out of the deal and Brady is nothing if not pragmatic. Over/under he spends 45 minutes on the phone per week haggling with Time Warner to knock a few bucks off his package read more

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Udonis Haslim Excludes Himself

Because jumping on socially correct bandwagons is America's favorite sport, the Miami Heat's Udonis Haslim assured Donald Trump and the breathlessly waiting world that there is no misogynistic or sexist talk in the Miami Heat locker room. You know, unlike what Trump said... read more

Arianne Zucker Responds

Arianne Zucker has finally responded to being the subject of the Trump-Billy Bush hot mic audio tape from 2005 where Trump said he better start using Tic-Tacs for his breath in case he started kissing Zucker on the set of Days of Our Lives. read more

Billy Bush Put On Ice

Billy Bush has been suspended indefinitely from the Today show because he went along with Donald Trump's pussy grabbing locker room talk eleven years ago. On the face of it this isn't fair. It's not like Trump gave him the idea and he's been grabbing pussies for the past... read more