Jackie Evancho Wants Tranny Toilets Back

Under the former President the nation's schools were ordered to provide self-identified gender restroomfacilities. Nobody knew what that meant so they just told anybody with a dick not wearing a dressto piss in the bushes behind the portables. read more

Lindsay Lohan Backs Trump and Islam

Lindsay Lohan comes from with a message of peace. Allahu Akbar. Lohan's been studying the sacred text as she Lord Jim's her way ever Eastward escaping humiliating events and landlords of her past. read more

Trump Bought Out Penile Tell All

Stereotypes are often stereotypes for a reason. You've no doubt heard your lesbian dog walker friend mumble something about Donald Trump's micro penis, perhaps out of jealousy. A small one is better than nothing. read more

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Fiona Apple's Trump Protest Chant Certain to Catch On (AUDIO)

Everybody is doing their part to stop this monster Trump. Minus all the people who voted him into office obviously. Or the tons of other people who mostly don't give a shit. read more

Miss Bumbum Erika Canela Gets A Trump Tattoo

The reigning Miss Bumbum from Brazil inked a Trump face tattoo on her back in what Erika Canela called an effort to rid Trump of his anti-Latin American, anti-female views. read more

Kanye Meets With Trump

Kanye West met with president elect Donald Trump. The two have a lot in common: An incredibly gay fixation with regality which extends to their fake titted whore wives. Bouts of narcissistic rage. Referring to themselves in glorified terms which nobody else does. Now,... read more

Donald Trump Coming for Kristin Davis' Black Baby

It's hard to relate the visceral hysteria taking place in Hollywood over the Trump presidential victory without being here. Picture World War II London schoolchildren packed into basements as bombs fell upon their city. Only picture them far less brave. Also, picture... read more

Rocking the Vote Ain't What It Never Was

To every institution, media outlet, and youth oriented marketing firm which ever used or borrowed the term, "Rocking the Vote", it's never ever actually worked before. As a brief FYI, twelve year old Katy Perry fans can't vote. read more

Trump Lookalike Seems To Be Having Fun

Alison Jackson actually makes a decent living as an artist so you must give her some deference to rank commercialism. If you're going to spend dollars doctoring up a Trump lookalike and a reasonable set, you're not going to satirically homage Trump giving a speech on... read more

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Guy Admits To Killing Trump's Star

Some guy named James Otis destroyed Donald Trump's star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in order to protest sexual assault and also that the nearby Buffalo Wild Wings refuses to give him free club soda. read more

Jessica Drake Trump Rape Story

There aren't many people left with less credibility than Donald Trump. In fact C-list porn stars might be the only person not deserving the benefit of the doubt since they let people jizz on their chins for fifteen hundred dollars, footage of which can easily be pulled up... read more

Donald Trump Fired Khloe Kardashian For Valid Reasons

Now is a good time to be an anonymous source or have a cushy AP job. Who's checking the sources? Absolutely nobody but they'll be printed. You really sacrificed your integrity, AP Guy #37, here's a 4 percent raise. read more