Melania Trump Snubs The Hand That Breeds Her

April 25, 2018 | Photos | Sam Robeson| 0 Comments

Over their hundreds of appearances, First Lady Melania and President Donald Trump had a small awkward exchange, so naturally it's news that we care about. The two were standing in the Rose Garden at the White House for a... READ MORE

Female Comedian Files Restraining Order Against Trump For Laughs

April 19, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

When being funny for a living isn’t working out for you filing a restraining order against the president should grab the attention your career as a professional comedian was lacking. I know most comedians inject themselves into certain situations... READ MORE

Salma Hayek Slams Trump For Fecal Matter Nation Allegations

March 8, 2018 | celebrity | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

Salma Hayek has involved herself in a one-sided argument with President Trump over whether or not “shithole nations” actually exist. Salma sits on the side of the fence that states these types of nations are purely myth and fairy... READ MORE

Hope Hicks Loses Hope And Employment

March 3, 2018 | News | Elliot Wolf| 0 Comments

I lost hope for hot women in the White House after learning about Hope Hicks’ departure. That just leaves us with Sarah Huckabee Sanders and she’s about as appetizing as a sweaty 7-11 hot dog when compared to the... READ MORE

Chelsea Handler Pins L.A. Fires on Trump

December 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It's more than okay to hate Trump. But if you're a comedian and Trump obsession is all you got, that's a deeper problem.

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Rosie O’Donnell May Not Live Through Trump

October 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rosie O'Donnell fears she may not survive the Trump administration. It's the next level in expressing your political displeasure. Claiming death. 

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Cooper Hefner Retroactively Embarrassed Over Trump Cover

August 28, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It's not unusual for the sons of inheritance to believe they earnestly earned their professional stature. The alternative theory is too demeaning to consider. Though more ambitious men will intentionally not follow in their successful father's footsteps to avoid... READ MORE

Justin Trudeau Jizz Splashes Rolling Stone

July 27, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It's impossible to accurately measure the erection Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner achieves when he imagines coiffed Canadian politico Justin Trudeau as his natural born leader. Leave a generous tip for the hotel maid. Scraping cum off the drapes... READ MORE

Trump Babes Might Move the Needle

July 18, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While college educated and TV actress white women are desperately distancing themselves from Trump via Starbucks latte clutching paid-time-off marches, they aren't all women. Some women voted for Trump. Others merely want you to have a non-partisan desire to... READ MORE

CNN Retracts

June 27, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was... READ MORE