Donald Trump Is Justice

By Matt June 23, 2014 @ 5:09 PM

D. Trump.

Even though the Central Park Five have been cleared of all charges, Donald Trump is pissed they reached a financial settlement after  each spent up to 13 years in prison. The forty million dollar settlement means each wrongly accused man receives eight million. I did the math and eight million bucks divided by 13 years is 70 bucks an hour. That’s more than I make but I wouldn’t trade my desk job for ass rapes, prison gang beat downs, and only MSNBC on the community room TV for a decade. Trump lobbied for these guys to be executed. He’s still talking shit about their guilt associations even after they’ve been found innocent.

“What were the men doing in the park, playing checkers?”

No, they were fucking around trying to buy-up booze like every other delinquent teenager in the borough. Not every kid can order Sea Breezes on the family tab at the club. I’m not a big death penalty guy, but if some thugs brutally assault a female jogger, I’m open to talking firing squad. But the punishment probably should be less than death for drinking forties and goofing around in the park and looking not-white. Trump is a proud man who doesn’t want to admit that he’s wrong. I bet he’d become more open to self-reflection after 13 years in prison. The experiment couldn’t hurt.

Photo Credit: Instagram 

Erin Brady Is The New Miss USA

By Travis June 17, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

After all of the promotional bikini-wearing and following the preliminary bikini-wearing, a new Miss USA was finally selected in Las Vegas last night, and the girl whose life is forever altered is Erin Brady of Connecticut. Erin plans to spend her year as Donald Trump’s favorite American by raising awareness for the problems that children of addicts face in their everyday lives, as they cope with alcoholism and drug use within their families and struggle through their own social interactions in school and elsewhere.

I’m not sure what her plan is, but nudity is always a great idea.

(Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com)

This Guy Was Arrested For Allegedly Stalking Ivanka Trump… Again

By Travis March 14, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Of all the things to make a comeback in 2013, who would have guessed stalking celebrities would be so popular right now? But between the How I Met Your Mother girl and now Ivanka Trump, being a crazy-eyed psychopath is all the rage right now.

That debonair gentleman above is John Eugene Enabnit, who was arrested and served with a restraining order in February after he kept showing up at Trump’s Manhattan penthouse to speak with her. He was arrested again this week for stalking her in Florida, and the fact that he followed her from NYC to Florida doesn’t scream crazy as much as it shows he’d devoted.

Law enforcement tells TMZ, 32-year-old John Eugene Enabnit was arrested Monday at his hotel room in Doral … near where 31-year-old Ivanka was attending a weekend golf tournament.

Enabnit is currently being held without bond on a charge of violating a restraining order, which Ivanka had previously obtained against him. (TMZ)

First of all, it’s clear as day why she was in Doral – to have a threeway with Paulina Gretzky and Dustin Johnson. That’s just obvious.

However, if you’re gearing up to become a stalker of a gorgeous, big time celebrity like Ivanka, you have to ask yourself if you’re ready to deal with an even crazier guy like her father. Because even if Ivanka digs you and lets you make dolls from her pubic hair, you’re going to have to get the Donald’s approval, and he’s probably going to steal your kidney.

(Photo credits: WENN)

Miss USA is fixed, says girl it wasnt fixed for

By brendon June 08, 2012 @ 2:48 PM

miss_pennsylvania_bikini

Miss Pennsylvania Sheena Monnin was on the Today show this morning repeating her claims that the Miss Universe pageant, or at least the Miss USA portion which was held last weekend, is rigged.

She’s already resigned her crown and is being sued by pageant owner Donald Trump, but she insists Karina Brez (Miss Florida) found out what the top 5 would be before the pageant even began. Brez now insists she was joking, but Monnin doesn’t believe her.

“I have many years of psychological training, I know when someone is telling a joke. I know when someone is scared and when someone is serious, and in my opinion, her body language was very serious and she looked a little bit scared.”

Well of course it’s rigged. As opposed to what? Rob Kardashian was one of the judges, he probably didn’t even know there were 50 states until this, you think he’s actually sitting there listening to the questions and answers? Speaking of which, hey Miss Alabama, how long have you been a woman?

(image source of every contestant in a bikini, in alphabetical order = wenn. miss rhode island was the winner, even though miss nevada is way hotter. more importantly, wyoming, kentucky, and pennsylvania had the nicest tits)

Donald Trump cheated with Stormy Daniels

By brendon October 14, 2011 @ 5:10 PM

stormy_daniels_donald_trump

Though he’s adamantly denying it and she’s had no comment, the new issue of Life and Style says that Donald Trump cheated on his wife while she was pregnant with porn star Stormy Daniels (geaux tigers!). I have no idea if that’s true or not but I can understand if it was. Stormy is hot, and pregnant women are creepy. If you were trump what is there to even think about it.

headlines, with a “belligerently drunk” Lindsay Lohan

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 6:25 PM

gretchen_rossi_bikini

LINDSAY LOHAN – was in a bar, “belligerently drunk” and “falling all over the place” after doing shots “all night” Saturday, then around 2am she grabbed the wrist of a girl trying to take her picture while a friend took the girls camera and dunked it in an ice bucket. Why would she do this just 3 days after getting yet another “last chance” from a judge? Because Lindsay is an asshole, that’s why. (radar)

M BONE – of Cali Swag District (the group behind the dougie dance) was shot and killed during a drive-by outside a liquor store last night, perhaps by a guy he got into a fight with on twitter over a girl. If you have any information, contact the police on Black Stereotype Island. (tmz)

DONALD TRUMP – will not run for President, just like lots of other completely unqualified people with no chance of winning. (us)

GRETCHEN ROSSI – wore a bikini this weekend. “Who is Gretchen Rossi”, you may ask? Well that’s that’s a good question. I like your inquisitive nature. Let me know what you turn up. (bauer griffin)