Chelsea Handler Pins L.A. Fires on Trump

December 7, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s more than okay to hate Trump. But if you’re a comedian and Trump obsession is all you got, that’s a deeper problem.

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Rosie O’Donnell May Not Live Through Trump

October 30, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Rosie O’Donnell fears she may not survive the Trump administration. It’s the next level in expressing your political displeasure. Claiming death. 

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Cooper Hefner Retroactively Embarrassed Over Trump Cover

August 28, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s not unusual for the sons of inheritance to believe they earnestly earned their professional stature. The alternative theory is too demeaning to consider. Though more ambitious men will intentionally not follow in their successful father’s footsteps to avoid any possible confusion.

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Justin Trudeau Jizz Splashes Rolling Stone

July 27, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

It’s impossible to accurately measure the erection Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner achieves when he imagines coiffed Canadian politico Justin Trudeau as his natural born leader. Leave a generous tip for the hotel maid. Scraping cum off the drapes was not covered in orientation.

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Trump Babes Might Move the Needle

July 18, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

While college educated and TV actress white women are desperately distancing themselves from Trump via Starbucks latte clutching paid-time-off marches, they aren’t all women. Some women voted for Trump. Others merely want you to have a non-partisan desire to finish on their breasts. We’re all God’s children.

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CNN Retracts

June 27, 2017 | WTF | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was in entertainment, but corporate types previously subsidized their news operations out of a noblesse oblige. That’s all gone now. You have to dig hard to find any professionals behind all the 25-year old senior editors using pop culture group think and hyperbolized passion in the place of reporting.

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Trump Ruins Everybody’s Ramadan Dinner Plans

June 26, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Trump detractors view everything through the prism that Trump is racist, sexist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and a spray painted pumpkin head who struggles for coherent diction. There’s only strong evidence of the latter.

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Delta and BofA Pull Out of Trump Murder Play

June 12, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Shakespeare in the Park now includes a Donald Trump character as a modern Julius Caesar being knifed to death by Brutus and his buddies. At least the Central Park version this summer. This might be more provocative if it weren’t the millionth time Trump has been symbolically slaughtered in everything from rap videos to the Facebook feeds white women sick from their own privilege. 

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Rosie O’Donnell Hate Over the Top

May 17, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Everybody who is anybody in not working so much celebrity comedy circles is dying to play a Trump cabinet character on SNL’s weekly 90 minutes dedicated to Trump is an asshole sketches. SNL has seen an audience resurgence after years of slumping thanks in large part, or entire part if studied more closely, to mocking Trump. 

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Emma Thompson Remembers That Time Trump Hit On Her

March 24, 2017 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Maybe you don’t share that story from decades ago when some famous billionaire called you up out of the blue and invited you to get to know each other over a meal. After all, you’re pretty famous in your own right. But if that guy’s become President of the United States, you’d have told that story a million times by now.

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