Justin Trudeau Jizz Splashes Rolling Stone

It's impossible to accurately measure the erection Rolling Stone founder Jann Wenner achieves when he imagines coiffed Canadian politico Justin Trudeau as his natural born leader. Leave a generous tip for the hotel maid. Scraping cum off the drapes was not covered in... read more

Trump Babes Might Move the Needle

While college educated and TV actress white women are desperately distancing themselves from Trump via Starbucks latte clutching paid-time-off marches, they aren't all women. Some women voted for Trump. Others merely want you to have a non-partisan desire to finish on... read more

CNN Retracts

Journalism as an honest trade is largely dead. Major news outlets are either driven by partisan ideology or the broader issue of being underfunded and understaffed as all the eyeballs and money move toward entertainment. The money always was in entertainment, but... read more

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Trump Ruins Everybody's Ramadan Dinner Plans

Trump detractors view everything through the prism that Trump is racist, sexist, Islamaphobic, homophobic, and a spray painted pumpkin head who struggles for coherent diction. There's only strong evidence of the latter. read more

Delta and BofA Pull Out of Trump Murder Play

Shakespeare in the Park now includes a Donald Trump character as a modern Julius Caesar being knifed to death by Brutus and his buddies. At least the Central Park version this summer. This might be more provocative if it weren't the millionth time Trump has been... read more

Rosie O'Donnell Hate Over the Top

Everybody who is anybody in not working so much celebrity comedy circles is dying to play a Trump cabinet character on SNL's weekly 90 minutes dedicated to Trump is an asshole sketches. SNL has seen an audience resurgence after years of slumping thanks in large part, or... read more

Emma Thompson Remembers That Time Trump Hit On Her

Maybe you don't share that story from decades ago when some famous billionaire called you up out of the blue and invited you to get to know each other over a meal. After all, you're pretty famous in your own right. But if that guy's become President of the United States,... read more

Lisa Belkin Can't Let Her Trump Go

It's worth Googling the names of reporters who write long form pieces on Donald Trump. There's a massive scramble for thinly veiled hit pieces that manage to capture none of Trump's obvious and significant flaws while digging deep into things that make the reporters... read more

Don Cheadle Says Trump Dropped N Bomb

Don Cheadle doesn't have anything to prove and has very little reason to make shit up. He is vehemently anti-Trump, which whether or not you are a Trump supporter, is a completely respectable position.  read more

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Jackie Evancho Wants Tranny Toilets Back

Under the former President the nation's schools were ordered to provide self-identified gender restroom facilities. Nobody knew what that meant so they just told anybody with a dick not wearing a dress to piss in the bushes behind the portables. read more

Lindsay Lohan Backs Trump and Islam

Lindsay Lohan comes from with a message of peace. Allahu Akbar. Lohan's been studying the sacred text as she Lord Jim's her way ever Eastward escaping humiliating events and landlords of her past. read more

Trump Bought Out Penile Tell All

Stereotypes are often stereotypes for a reason. You've no doubt heard your lesbian dog walker friend mumble something about Donald Trump's micro penis, perhaps out of jealousy. A small one is better than nothing.  read more