Presidents Day headlines

CHARLIE SHEEN - will pay the $10,000 needed to buy a golden retriever specially trained to turn on lights, pick up objects, and other everyday situations, for a 15-year-old girl (that he has never met) who was crippled in an accident. In a related story, I waved someone though in traffic today. I'M AN AMAZING MAN! (nydn) MAYA RUDOLPH - is pregnant for the fourth time. Which beats the number of times I assumed anyone...read more

Friday Morning Headlines

LOUIS CK - has been witnessed peeping into windows and watching underage girls getting undressed, according to flyers posted in Huntington Beach. He's not mentioned by name, so it may be a hoax or someone just used a picture that looked close enough, or maybe he really is doing it because how else are you supposed to watch underage girls take their clothes off? Most of them are so stuck-up they make a big deal out of...read more

Wednesday Afternoon Headlines

ANGELINA JOLIE - might be pregnant again, meaning she and Brad Pitt will soon have their seventh child. To be honest I'm not even sure if that's what the story said, it just seems like something they would do. (hollywood life) BEYONCE - lip-synched yesterday at the inauguration for President Obama, but her 'Destinys Child' bandmate Michelle Williams was quick to defend her because of the crowd, possible echoes, and...read more

Friday Afternoon Headlines

ALICIA KEYS - will sing the National Anthem at Super Bowl XLVII in New Orleans on February 3rd. Or 4th, or 5th, or whenever it is that Saints fans run out of beer bottles to throw at Roger Goodell and they can start the game. (e!) AMERICAN IDOL - returned Wednesday and had it's lowest ratings ever for a season premiere, down 19 percent from last year, which itself was down 24 percent from the year before. Fox has had...read more

Thursday Afternoon Headlines

NICKI MINAJ - called Mariah Carey a "bitch" during last nights premiere of 'American Idol'. And also before the premiere, after the premiere, and every other time Mariah Careys name has ever come up. (radar) JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - will film some nude scenes for her show 'The Client List' on Lifetime, but it's pointless because they will then blur everything before the broadcast so you wont actually see her naked. I...read more

Wednesday Morning Headlines

VICTOR GARBER - of 'Argo', 'Titanic', 'Alias', etc., has come out and said he's gay. And good for him. No one should ever hide or be ashamed of the person they date, unless that person is from Alabama. (greg in hollywood) ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - whose movie 'the Last Stand' is getting surprisingly good reviews, did an AMA (Ask Me Anything) on reddit last night, later saying this was his favorite part, and even did a...read more

Tuesday Afternoon Headlines

JESSICA SIMPSON - is in talks with NBC for a sitcom that "would feature Simpson playing a version of herself in a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style look at her life". And it can't possibly fail because improv is the perfect vehicle for this quick-witted legend of comedy. (tv guide) RUSSELL CROWE - might be dating "burlesque goddess" Dita Von Teese, who has somehow totally escaped her past as a "spread-eagle girl having sex...read more

afternoon headlines, with naked Brooke Hogan

TONY SCOTT - had his suicide filmed by several people who are trying to sell the footage. Inspiring "I Believe I Can Fly" song, not included. (guardian) JOHNNY DEPP - is being offered $95 million to star in 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 5', because 'Pirates Of The Caribbean 4' made $1.04 billion. Clearly Lindsay hasn't figured out that these are about a bisexual drunk who steals or else she would have sued by now. (the...read more

afternoon headlines

KID ROCK - gave a house to a soldier who lost his leg in Afghanistan. In a related story, Lindsay Lohan gave hepatitis to a guy with heroin from Afghanistan. (radar) WAYNE BRADY - has apologized for a joke he told about Jeffrey Ross and Trig Palin, who has Downs syndrome, at the Roseanne Barr Comedy Central Roast. "People hate you, especially Sarah Palin because you remind her of what Trig is going to look like when...read more

Tuesday headlines, with Gaga on the Simpsons

LADY GAGA - will play herself on 'The Simpsons', "to cheer up a dejected Lisa through the power of speech, song, and a flash mob." The message being: if you're feeling low, try annoying the hell out of people. (ew) WILL SMITH AND JADA PINKETT - were reportedly broken up, but this morning Wills son Trey tweeted that it wasn't true, and now they've issued a statement saying, "Although we are reluctant to respond to...read more

Monday headlines, with Brooke Burke in a bikini

JESSICA ALBA - gave birth to her second child Saturday night, another baby girl, named Haven Garner Warren. There's no word on if Alba is home from the hospital yet, but since she's Mexican she'll probably stop at the mall first to have Havens ears pierced. (facebook) AUSTIN POWERS 4 - is or is not on the way. Hit Fix says the deal is done, Deadline says nothing is official yet. For now, Halloween stores everywhere...read more

Friday headlines, with Dianna Agrons pink hair

COLDPLAY - announced today that their next record is called 'Mylo Xyloto'. Which I believe is Latin for "Homo Music". (coldplay.com) ALEC BALDWIN - will host SNL for the 16th time during the season premiere on September 24th. Radiohead will be the musical guest. SNL has now been on the air for 37 years, which is astounding because if I were to make a list of things to do on a Saturday night, watching that joyless...read more

Monday headlines, with milf Adrianna Lima

AMY WINEHOUSE - will be buried tomorrow in a private funeral service in London. So for her sake I hope she's actually dead. (abc news) CAPTAIN AMERICA - won the weekend box office with $65.1 million, Harry Potter was second with $47.4M, and 'Friends With No Strings' was third with $18.6M. It would have made more but it turns out that Justin Timberlake is a jackass and nobody likes him. (box office mojo) JENNIFER LOPEZ...read more

Friday headlines, with Vanessa Minnillos honeymoon

BEAVIS AND BUTTHEAD - will return to MTV later this year, and now there's a 5 minute preview of the new season. In related news, Pauly Shore will box a kangaroo this weekend at the Des Moines Chevrolet "Dealin Days". (hollywood reporter) STEVEN SPIELBERG - made his first ever appearance at Comic Con today, and used it to announce that the movie no one has been waiting for, 'Jurassic Park 4', will be out in a year or...read more

Monday headlines, with magic heroes and bikinis!

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2 - basically broke every major box office record there is this weekend, including 'first midnight showing' ($43.5M), 'opening day' ($92.1M), 'weekend: domestic' ($168.5M), 'weekend: worldwide' ($475.5M), and 'most malleable fanbase'. (mojo) CASH CAB - is that game show where a taxi driver asks real customers trivia questions during their ride, and a producer for the Canadian...read more