Jamie Foxx is being labeled ‘transphobic’ after he read off a couple weakly written joke about Bruce Jenner at the I Heart Radio Music Awards. Foxx was completely unaware that certain groups are off limits when it comes to jokes. That might seem like discrimination but if you have six hours someone will gladly explain it to you as you protect your face. It should be noted Foxx was joking about a dude who is actively involved in selling every inch of his personal life to reality television and not a random wigged haberdasher in the front row:
“We have some groundbreaking performances here too tonight. We got Bruce Jenner, will be here doing some musical performances. He’s doing a his and her duet all by himself. Look, I’m just busting your balls, while I still can.”
Bruce Jenner needs to be made fun of. His impending cock lopping is the only interesting thing about him. This was the fiftieth most offensive thing that happened at this show behind multiple Chris Brown cutaways and the fact it exists. Wake me when the bad jokes are about people not trying to turn a buck on their fame. You dance with the devil and you just might have dick jokes made about you.
If your buddy ever tells you he sucked a dick that one time in college he’s either a liar or bad at it. People rarely change. Dudes buy Harleys because there’s a chick out there with a go to fetish who’s going to hate herself in the morning. That’s why if you were married to a gay guy for a contractually obligated period of years in an effort to hoodwink the public that’s pretty much the camp you’re boxed into. Jamie Foxx has heard more gay rumors than your average single diminutive flamboyant male R&B singer or at least right about on par. You may not read the black gossip press, but if you do, type ‘Jamie Foxx gay’ into their search bar and watch two-thirds of every article they’ve posted over the past decade come up. It shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. But it exists. Enter Katie Holmes, Hollywood’s most famous beard. She and Foxx are apparently enjoying a sparky romance according to their publicists. I’ll believe that when I see a video of the two of them banging raw dog without the cameras on. I’d watch. But just for science. And to respond expertly on those gossip sites.
Rumors are flying that Jamie Foxx has been slipping it to Katie Holmes. It makes sense. Short and troubled might just be her type. Foxx has an Oscar so he probably gets the ass. I think that’s Hollywood law.
Continuing their ongoing month of celebration for the fact that they’ve remained relevant in the face of several decades of internet pornography, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue models competed in a volleyball tournament against some other celebrities over the weekend at the Food Network South Beach Food and Wine Festival. Most notably, Jamie Foxx was there to remind everyone that he once won an Oscar, and probably to hit on Chrissy Teigen, Hannah Ferguson, Samantha Hoopes, Kate Bock, Lily Aldridge and the many other models, because he’s simply a man with a penis and needs. But then Richard Sherman showed up, and everyone probably held their purses a little tighter and quietly tried to dial 911 on their phones through their pockets, all while he rescued a kitten from a tree and helped build a house for a homeless family while teaching them all how to read.
It would be a lot easier to call Jamie Foxx a jackass if he weren’t so god damn good in ‘Djangio Unchained’, but Jamie Foxx is a jackass anyway for what he said at the NAACP Awards.
As he accepted the Entertainer of the Year Award, he praised other luminaries such as Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier, saying that he was humbled by the amazing people he shared the stage with.
‘Black people are the most talented people in the world. I, it’s, I can’t explain it,’ Foxx said. ‘You can’t sit in this room and not watch Gladys Knight sing and go like, “Golly, what in the world?”’
Keep in mind that making this about race was Jamie’s idea, not mine, but yeah, “talent”. That must be why all the African countries and black neighborhoods are such fantastic utopias. Lagos, the second biggest city in Africa, is totally the same as Berlin and Seoul and London. They even hope to have a train one day. Imagine that! It’s the world of tomorrow, today! Well, I mean, actually it’s still tomorrow because they don’t have one yet but you get the idea.
If a movie about the White House being attacked by terrorists with only one bad-ass left behind to save everyone sounds good, you’re in luck, because there’s two of those exact movies coming out soon. ‘White House Down‘ has Channing Tatum blankly starring at things while rescuing President Jamie Foxx, while the more dramatically named ‘Olympus Has Fallen’ has Gerard Butler grumbling cliches while saving President Aaron Eckhart and then sorta President Morgan Freeeman.
So now the questions are; which movie will tell the same story in a more exciting way, and if “down” and “fallen” are the code for being attacked, what would they say if the White House were to literally fall down?