The middle, “disgusting food or drink” segment on this Mondays ‘Fear Factor’ will have the contestants drinking glasses of donkey semen, and NBC is so upset they threatened to stop the show.
Well, actually the show was filmed over the summer. It’s not like it’s live. Getting that much donkey semen on a live show would be tough on the farmers wrists. So really all NBC threatened to do was make people drink donkey semen for no reason.
We’re told the challenge involved teams of twins drinking the full glass of donkey semen — with a glass of urine thrown in for good measure. Contestants had to drain both glasses in order to move on to the next round.
Our sources say NBC execs had multiple pow-wows … but eventually gave the thumbs up.
On a somewhat related note, Perez Hilton now says he really really really wants to be on ‘Fear Factor’. “This way it will all be nice and legal,” he said, though I’m not sure what “it” refers to.
(”You know who isn’t upset about all this? The donkey who got jacked off until he filled three pitchers,” said the Army Donkey with a bullet-magnet slowly riding him through an open field. “Fuck my life,” he continued.)
JOE ROGAN - is the best analyst in any sport IMO, but he’s still a huge Fedor Emelianenko fan (more) despite the fact that Fedor hasn’t fought anyone of note since Nogueira 6 years ago. Saturday night Fedor lost a fight in the first round, and today Rogan will talk about this for the first time on his weekly podcast at 3pm pct. I’ve always said Fedor was overrated and wouldn’t be top 5 in the UFC, so does this mean I know more about MMA than Joe Rogan? Yes, yes it does. I’m clearly an unparalleled genius. (twitter)
LINDSAY LOHAN - is a Hollywood outcast. Last week I mentioned that she would send tweets to Katy Perry who always ignored them. The Star says she does the same thing with Gaga, Justin Bieber and Slash. The Star also says I have Americas Hottest Buns, so they seem to know what they’re talking about. (daily star)
LOUIS CK - talked to New York magazine to promote his new show, which premiers tonight on F/X. But skip it if you’re one of those who don’t think he’s funny. Skip it and then go slam your hand in a car door as punishment for your terrible terrible taste. (ny mag)
GEORGE CLOONEYS - girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis took out a little boat near Clooneys house on Lake Como in Italy. “Wow this dummy has a lot to learn about water safety,” said a guy who totally missed the point. (inf)
CARLOS MENCIA - steals jokes. This of course was a bigger story when Joe Rogan confronted him on stage 3 years ago (video and backstory here), but this morning Opie and Anthony played an audio clip where Carlos actually admits it. It’s possible he was being sarcastic, but that would mean he actually wrote a joke by himself. Seems ridiculous when you think about it like that.
ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO - is Brazilian but she lives in Malibu and she posted a “Go USA” cheer with a bikini pic on twitter this morning after the US won their game in the World Cup. On a side note, if God had a girlfriend, this is what she would look like. (twitter)
ROBERT PATTINSON - is actually, honestly related to Dracula. Or at least Vlad the Impaler, who is widely considered to be the inspiration for Dracula. “Don’t you dare lump me in with those queers and fatties,” Vlad said when asked for a comment. (yahoo)
MICHAEL JACKSON - fans will be allowed to leave flowers near his grave site on the one year anniversary of his death. Which is bullshit. It should be closed. Wait, not closed. Enclosed. And then riddled with bullets. Good riddance weirdos. (abc)
HAYDEN PANETTIERE - went to LAX with her boyfriend, heavyweight boxing champion Wladimir Klitschko. He’s from Kazakhstan, just like Borat, and those people don’t fuck around when it comes to putting women in their place. I see a dog crate, but I don’t see any dogs. I hope Hayden has some water and went to the bathroom.
As the camera panned around between rounds Saturday night at UFC 104, play-by-play man Mike Goldberg said a quick word about the celebrities on hand, including Turtle and Ari from ‘Entourage’. And after he did, the great Joe Rogan explained all the things that make ‘Entourage’ so cool. In other words, Joe pretended like he didn’t hear Mike, and didn’t say a GD thing (I tacked on his Demi Moore line at the end of the video because it was awesome).
Joe is right of course because ‘Entourage’ sucks, and 100 percent of the people who think it’s cool are fuckin idiots. Case closed. I don’t care what else you like or what else you do, watching that is proof that you’re essentially retarded. It would be like you were on eHarmony, and a guys profile said:
- Funny
- Loves to sail
- Gourmet chef
- Has sex with little boys
- A terrific dancer
Did you notice how number 4 kind of out-weighed everything else? It would be the same if he wrote “loves Entourage”. Except the things the pedophile watched would probably have better jokes.
JOE ROGAN - pee’s in a cup and then drinks it in this video. And he gets some radio DJ to do the same. So in a way it’s like 2 Girls 1 Cup, except it’s guys and their penises. In other words, it’s way worse. (source - redban)
MICHAEL JACKSON - may or may not have been buried. It’s not clear anymore. Last week two reports said he was. Now, who knows. Are we even positive that he’s dead? Because sometimes you can give someone drugs to knock them out and they appear to be dead but they’re really not. It can be scary. One time I could barely even get an erection. (source - NE)
ROBERT PATTINSON - was seen getting very comfortable with his “Twilight” co-star Kristin Stewart last night at a Kings of Leon concert in LA. I can’t even imagine how excited I would be about this, if only I knew why it was a big deal. Oh my God, I would totally be freaking out right now, if indeed that were the appropriate response. (source = e!)
BRUNO - as expected won the box office this weekend, pulling in $30.4m in it’s debut. That’s way less than the 50m some Hollywood insiders were suggesting on Friday, but keep in mind, no one in Hollywood has any idea what the fuck they’re talking about. (variety)
MICHAEL JACKSON - as far back as 1993 Jackson was having doctors issue prescriptions in other people names to score pain killers for him. In a related story, I had to go to 2 different doctors to get 2 percent hydrocortisone cream after stepping in poison oak. You rich people can suck my dick. (source = tmz)
UFC - picked a new ring girl this weekend as part of UFC 100. Her name is Natasha, and she’s adorable but not as hot as Arianny Celeste. Actually, who cares, LOOK AT DAN HENDERSON! 4 seconds after the great Joe Rogan says if Michael Bisping keeps drifting left he’s gonna get annihilated, Michael Bisping drifts left and gets annihilated. If Henderson hit him any harder, Bisping would have just burst into flames. (source = splash news online)
