As the camera panned around between rounds Saturday night at UFC 104, play-by-play man Mike Goldberg said a quick word about the celebrities on hand, including Turtle and Ari from ‘Entourage’. And after he did, the great Joe Rogan explained all the things that make ‘Entourage’ so cool. In other words, Joe pretended like he didn’t hear Mike, and didn’t say a GD thing (I tacked on his Demi Moore line at the end of the video because it was awesome).
Joe is right of course because ‘Entourage’ sucks, and 100 percent of the people who think it’s cool are fuckin idiots. Case closed. I don’t care what else you like or what else you do, watching that is proof that you’re essentially retarded. It would be like you were on eHarmony, and a guys profile said:
- Funny
- Loves to sail
- Gourmet chef
- Has sex with little boys
- A terrific dancer
Did you notice how number 4 kind of out-weighed everything else? It would be the same if he wrote “loves Entourage”. Except the things the pedophile watched would probably have better jokes.
JOE ROGAN - pee’s in a cup and then drinks it in this video. And he gets some radio DJ to do the same. So in a way it’s like 2 Girls 1 Cup, except it’s guys and their penises. In other words, it’s way worse. (source - redban)
MICHAEL JACKSON - may or may not have been buried. It’s not clear anymore. Last week two reports said he was. Now, who knows. Are we even positive that he’s dead? Because sometimes you can give someone drugs to knock them out and they appear to be dead but they’re really not. It can be scary. One time I could barely even get an erection. (source - NE)
ROBERT PATTINSON - was seen getting very comfortable with his “Twilight” co-star Kristin Stewart last night at a Kings of Leon concert in LA. I can’t even imagine how excited I would be about this, if only I knew why it was a big deal. Oh my God, I would totally be freaking out right now, if indeed that were the appropriate response. (source = e!)
BRUNO - as expected won the box office this weekend, pulling in $30.4m in it’s debut. That’s way less than the 50m some Hollywood insiders were suggesting on Friday, but keep in mind, no one in Hollywood has any idea what the fuck they’re talking about. (variety)
MICHAEL JACKSON - as far back as 1993 Jackson was having doctors issue prescriptions in other people names to score pain killers for him. In a related story, I had to go to 2 different doctors to get 2 percent hydrocortisone cream after stepping in poison oak. You rich people can suck my dick. (source = tmz)
UFC - picked a new ring girl this weekend as part of UFC 100. Her name is Natasha, and she’s adorable but not as hot as Arianny Celeste. Actually, who cares, LOOK AT DAN HENDERSON! 4 seconds after the great Joe Rogan says if Michael Bisping keeps drifting left he’s gonna get annihilated, Michael Bisping drifts left and gets annihilated. If Henderson hit him any harder, Bisping would have just burst into flames. (source = splash news online)
Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia are both well known to steal other comedians material, then re-write it and pass it off as their own. Except Dane doesn't re-write it, he just says whatever Louis CK says and then flails around a little bit. Now that's comedy! But no one has screamed louder about all this than Joe Rogan and Brian Redban. And so Mencia called Joe on stage Saturday night at the Comedy Store in Hollywood for a battle to settle things once and for all. Umm, it didn't work out, as comedian after comedian came out to say that Mencia absolutely steals material. What’s amazing is that Mencia jacks material and still sucks. He's not even clever enough to steal good material. Its like breaking into a bank and stealing their pens. Or maybe the jokes are funny and he just fucks them up. It's hard to tell. The guy in this video wouldn't even make my list of The 100 Funniest Carlos Mencias. I've seen this dude live and its just awful, like a Shakespearean tragedy, he might as well just bring an angel on stage and stab it.
