John Travolta Does Damage Control

By Matt January 20, 2015 @ 7:33 AM

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John Travolta threw his kids under the bus when asked why he was cruising for sweaty man cock in the gym at 3 a.m.

“I’m a father. They still want me to play with them at a level of a much younger man… in order to stay healthy for them, that’s what I do.”

Studies have shown an active sex life is key to good aging. Blow jobs in the 24 Hour Fitness men’s sauna are more than invigorating so long as you don’t contract the Miami Diarrhea. C’mon, John. It’s 2015, nobody gives a shit. The hair piece is far more off-putting than your secret world of gay underground catacombs. Stop flying those planes over the Mojave on auto-pilot just so you can bust a nut in your little buddy’s face. You’re the fucking captain. Tell the world you love dick. I bet your hair grows back. Also, I just saved you $20 million on your next round of Scientology cover payments. You’re welcome, you big gay bald lug.

Photo Credit: Reddit 

John Travolta Trolling

By Matt January 16, 2015 @ 7:33 AM

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John Travolta was in a Planet Fitness at 3 am even though his estate clearly has a gym and he probably doesn’t work out. Travolta struck up a conversation with a gym goer and then allowed him to take a photo, a series of events which is the straight man’s equivalent of going to a dumb fucking dance club and buying girls shots. The guy posted the photo to Reddit and explained how extremely outgoing Travolta was:

“He asked what I do for a living, if I was married, if I have kids, and what do I do with my spare time.”

These are all things you ask someone if you’re genuinely being a nice guy or trying to gauge how open they are to blowing you. Odds are Travolta shot down a chick in yoga pants. This dude either proceeded to deep tissue massage Travolta in the steam room or is too much of a dunce to understand the rules of anonymous gay hookups. Neither would surprise me, but it’s definitely one or the other. He’s in the gym at 3 a.m.

Photo Credit: Reddit 

John Travolta Plunges Into Gay Rumors

By Lex September 16, 2014 @ 3:08 PM

John-Travolta-at-Movie-Premiere

Nobody denies a gay rumor like John Travolta. It’s like watching a pro at his best. He doesn’t really deny them so much as say he laments the state of the modern media or changes the subject by mentioning his tragically deceased teenage son. Nobody really gives a shit anymore if John Travolta like a little cock for breakfast. Maybe twenty years ago it was interesting only because everybody in Hollywood was still in the closet and audiences chose to believe in their hetero masculinity. Now most people have decided to remember that at least half of their drama club in high school was gay and didn’t suddenly discover a love of vagina on their way to Hollywood or Broadway. The only reason the gay Travolta stuff keeps coming up is the repeated lawsuits from masseuses and former employees alleging Travolta is a cockenstuffer of the highest order. Also, there’s the whole scary Megan’s Law meets David Geste painted face and hair thing going on too, but that’s more creepy than gay.

Travolta is currently being outed by Douglas Gotterba, a pilot who worked for Travolta’s aircraft company in the 80′s and now wants to write a book about he and Travolta joined the Mile High Cock Club together. I guess that might sell a couple copies to somebody somewhere. Travolta had Gotterba sign a confidentiality agreement when he left the company years ago that specifically stated no spilling the beans about trade secrets or Travolta grunting out ‘Mr. Kotter’ during anal sex. Gotterba is suing to overturn the agreement so his book isn’t both sucky and boring. I couldn’t possibly care less if he wins or not. I’ll just assume everything he asserts about cock play is true and save myself some Kindle money for when the Kevin Spacey book comes out.

Photo credit: INF Photos

John Travolta Wants You To Know He’s a Pilot

By Lex July 01, 2013 @ 12:55 PM

John Travolta Gets In His Pilot Outfit And Jets Himself To The Czech Republic
John Travolta loves to fly planes. He owns more planes than you and a couple less than United Airlines. He is trained to fly his jets which I guess also authorizes him to dress like a pilot. Just like the last time you changed a tire you did so in your greasy Bronko’s garage jumpsuit. John Travolta just flew himself to the Czech republic and popped out of his plane in his spiffy captain’s suit. He really is just a grown up kid. All the better to relate to the boys who find themselves in his movie set trailers being told ribald tales of ancient Greece.

Photo Credit: PCN

John Travolta sings with Olivia Newton John, isnt gay at all

By brendon December 05, 2012 @ 3:02 PM

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Olivia Newton-John, well, is alive, for one, so the surprises are all downhill from here, but has a Christmas album coming out, and today she released the first video, a duet with John Travolta. And if dancing with his ‘Grease’ co-star was supposed to make him look less gay, it did not work. At all. He looks gayer than ever. This is as gay as any man can look without a penis in his mouth.

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Kirstie Alley says John Travolta isn’t gay

By brendon November 07, 2012 @ 7:00 PM

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Despite dozens and dozens of rumors to the contrary, Kirstie Alley swears that fellow Scientologist John Travolta is not gay, and if anyone could see through all the smoke and mirrors and discover the truth about something, it’s a Scientologist.

“Believe me, it took everything I had inside, outside, whatever, to not run off and marry John and be with John for the rest of my life,” Alley tells Barbara Walters on “Good Morning America” in an interview that aired earlier today.
“I know John. With all my heart and soul, he’s not gay,” she says.

Yes of course he’s not. He only jacked off a masseuse because his thetan levels were too high. Nothing a little time with the Wall of Fire can’t fix. I don’t know why people even bother taking medicines when Scientology can fix you for good, naturally.