John Travolta Wants You To Know He’s a Pilot

By Lex July 01, 2013 @ 12:55 PM

John Travolta Gets In His Pilot Outfit And Jets Himself To The Czech Republic
John Travolta loves to fly planes. He owns more planes than you and a couple less than United Airlines. He is trained to fly his jets which I guess also authorizes him to dress like a pilot. Just like the last time you changed a tire you did so in your greasy Bronko’s garage jumpsuit. John Travolta just flew himself to the Czech republic and popped out of his plane in his spiffy captain’s suit. He really is just a grown up kid. All the better to relate to the boys who find themselves in his movie set trailers being told ribald tales of ancient Greece.

Photo Credit: PCN

John Travolta sings with Olivia Newton John, isnt gay at all

By brendon December 05, 2012 @ 3:02 PM


Olivia Newton-John, well, is alive, for one, so the surprises are all downhill from here, but has a Christmas album coming out, and today she released the first video, a duet with John Travolta. And if dancing with his ‘Grease’ co-star was supposed to make him look less gay, it did not work. At all. He looks gayer than ever. This is as gay as any man can look without a penis in his mouth.

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Kirstie Alley says John Travolta isn’t gay

By brendon November 07, 2012 @ 7:00 PM


Despite dozens and dozens of rumors to the contrary, Kirstie Alley swears that fellow Scientologist John Travolta is not gay, and if anyone could see through all the smoke and mirrors and discover the truth about something, it’s a Scientologist.

“Believe me, it took everything I had inside, outside, whatever, to not run off and marry John and be with John for the rest of my life,” Alley tells Barbara Walters on “Good Morning America” in an interview that aired earlier today.
“I know John. With all my heart and soul, he’s not gay,” she says.

Yes of course he’s not. He only jacked off a masseuse because his thetan levels were too high. Nothing a little time with the Wall of Fire can’t fix. I don’t know why people even bother taking medicines when Scientology can fix you for good, naturally.

John Travoltas gay lover has an interview

By brendon August 29, 2012 @ 3:59 PM


Back in June, the woman who was John Travolta’s personal secretary from 1978 to 1994 told the Enquirer that he had a secret gay lover. It was his private pilot, Doug Gotterba, and now Doug is “spilling all the secrets” of “their passionate six-year relationship” to the Enquirer too. I don’t have a dictionary in front of me but it doesn’t seem as if those two know what the word “secret” means.

Former pilot Doug Gotterba, 62, claims that the 58-year-old big screen heartthrob’s sexual appetite was insatiable, that he wanted to make a sex tape, and that he enjoyed cavorting with multiple male partners at a time.

This is only sort of relevant but I don’t like it when gay people are black because then it makes me look homophobic and racist when I’m actually just racist. It’s really unfair to me. Quite frankly it’s selfish of them, and I don’t appreciate it one bit.

John Travolta had a 6 year gay affair with his pilot

By brendon June 06, 2012 @ 3:58 PM


The woman who was John Travolta’s personal secretary for 16 years, from 1978 to 1994, has an interview in the new issue of the Enquirer, and let’s just get this over with as quickly as possible.

“I did everything for (Travolta), including taking care of his personal and professional schedules. Of course I knew he was gay. It never bothered me.”
She also says she was aware of Travolta’s affair with Doug Gotterba, who began working for the actor (as a private pilot) in 1981.  “That’s how I met Doug. We both worked for John at the same time. Doug is a wonderful guy and we are still good friends.”

Gotterba eventually quit because Travolta was “constantly grabbing at his genital area”, so I wonder how that company who hired Travolta to endorse their jets feels now. Their planes are so good that a sodomite can even rape the pilot in mid air. The challenge is how to phrase that in an ad and capitalize on it.

John Travolta goes to interesting parties

By brendon May 23, 2012 @ 7:21 PM


The Enquirer published pictures today that were reportedly taken at a party in 1997, showing John Travolta wearing a dress and a fur stole, with earrings, a necklace, a bra (wait what), and even full makeup including eyeliner and a soft pink lipstick that really pulls the outfit together.

They go on to say that the recent allegations by men claiming Travolta propositioned them for sex (it’s up to 8 now, with the New York Daily News reporting one accuser was offered $125,000 to keep quiet) have finally pushed Kelly Preston to the breaking point and her marriage to Travolta is over.

A ‘friend’ of the actress’ says: ‘Kelly told me their marriage is over and made it clear that she’s no longer living in the family home.
‘She’s put up with John’s double life for decades while his behavior remained in the shadows.
‘But all this coming out in public has humiliated her. Kelly is absolutely destroyed.’

So despite what you may have heard about women wanting their husbands to sneak around and nail strange men in the ass, Kelly Preston has put her foot down. 20 years later. Because it went public.

Kelly Preston has weird boundaries.