Jonah Hill Got Shafted and Liked It

By Lex January 22, 2014 @ 4:28 PM

Jonah Hill And Joey McFarland At The 19th Critic's Choice Awards In Santa Monica
Jonah Hill was babbling like a school girl crush about how he took SAG minimum for his supporting role in Wolf of Wall Street. He told Howard Stern that he would’ve paid his own money for the chance to be in a Scorsese film, so taking league minimum was more than enough.

They gave me the lowest amount of money possible, that was their offer.” “I said, ‘I will sign the paper tonight. Fax me the papers tonight.’ I want to sign them tonight before they change their mind. I said I want to sign them before I go to sleep tonight so they legally can’t change their mind.”

Whoa, easy there, Lizzy Mcguire. Where the fuck was your agent when you bent over and told a $100 million movie to plunder your anal cherry on the gratis. I guess nobody told Jonah that he could’ve had the money and the role, you know, like DiCaprio who accepted $10 million for the same film. I remember when Randy Quaid was convinced to work for peanuts to help get Brokeback Mountain made so Ang Lee could reinforce the fact that even masculine American cowboys are secretly gay. Quaid sued when he found out the filmmakers were earning major bank off the film. Then he went crazy and fled to Canada to escape a murderous Hollywood cabal in his mind and even the Canadians wouldn’t have him.

I don’t want to see stupid rewarded. At the same time, I hate to see fat Jewish kids begging for refugee status at the northern border. Maybe they can throw Jonah Hill a few bones and give him a cuff on the head for being such a dandelion and call it a day.

Photo Credit: Getty

Nobody Knows It’s You, Leonardo DiCaprio

By Travis January 09, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Leonardo DiCaprio and Jonah Hill are in London for the premiere of The Wolf of Wall Street, so they decided to grab some dinner last night in Soho and play catch up. I imagine the things they talked about included how people have been overly critical of their new film and accusing them of glorifying a shitbag for the sake of promoting their Oscar bait and maybe even how three hours is too long for any movie, no matter how funny you try to make it and how many pairs of naked tits you throw in. In the end, I’m sure they had a nice laugh and then agreed to spend the rest of the night sleeping with Leo’s hotel room filled with 18-year old models. But better cover up, guys! God forbid people see you leaving a restaurant.

Photo Credits: WENN.com

Jonah Hill is getting fat again

By brendon July 06, 2012 @ 5:07 PM

jonah_hill_is_getting_fat_again

And thank God. I don’t really like Fat Jonah Hill either but Skinny Jonah Hill made my skin crawl. If I have to watch a Jonah Hill in movies–and apparently I do–I’ll take the fat one and then hope Hollywood brings back movies where at some point the likable group needs to win a hot dog eating contest.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Ice Cube Knows What’s Really Going on Here

By author March 15, 2012 @ 12:00 PM

spl364512

Channing Tatum may be the worst actor of all time, but he somehow managed to talk his way into Jenna Dewan’s arms and more importantly, vagina. So the guy deserves a modicum of credit. That is, until he basically got outed by Ice Cube who costars with Channing and Jonah Hill in ’21 Jump Street.’ via People:

White men love bro-mances, man,” costar Ice Cube says with a laugh. “They are very into it. God bless ‘em. Hopefully they’ll be happy together.

Wow. It’s one thing for Ice Cube to insinuate that these two are about to embark on a homosexual life union (which they are, without question), but to toss out a stereotype about all white men based on one quite obviously gay relationship is taking it a little far, no? It wouldn’t be fair if I said all black people love Tyler Perry movies just because all of you love them. That’s racism.

(Image Source = Getty, Splash News)

skinny Jonah Hill is creepy

By brendon August 15, 2011 @ 6:25 PM

skinny_jonah_hill

I’ll preface this by saying that I’ve never liked Jonah Hill, I don’t think he’s funny or a good actor and to be honest he makes me uncomfortable, but now that he’s skinny there’s something vaguely creepy about him. This is him leaving a restaurant last night in London. Maybe it’s the buttoned up shirt or the oddly tight pants but he looks like a sex offender who just got acquitted on a technicality.

(image source = fame)

‘Moneyball’ has a new trailer

By brendon June 16, 2011 @ 4:45 PM

‘Moneyball’ is a baseball drama starring Brad Pitt, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Jonah Hill, from the director of ‘Capote’. Sony Pictures describes it like this…

Based on a true story, Moneyball is a movie for anybody who has ever dreamed of taking on the system.
Brad Pitt stars as Billy Beane, the general manager of the Oakland A’s and the guy who assembles the team, who has an epiphany: all of baseball’s conventional wisdom is wrong.
Forced to reinvent his team on a tight budget, Beane will have to outsmart the richer clubs.

That’s right. This guy broke all the rules and created a new system so a small market team like Oakland could beat dynasties like New York and Boston in a sport with no salary cap.

Except that he didn’t create it, the system is called sabermetrics and has been around since the 1980’s, and he didn’t implement it in Oakland, his predecessor did (the Jonah Hill character doesn’t exist), and during his 13 years as GM the A’s have never won the American League much less a World Series. In fact they haven’t been above .500 in 5 years, while Tampa, who is in an even smaller market and has New York and Boston in the same fucking division, was in the Series 3 years ago. So far this season Oakland is last in their division, with the second worst record in the American League.

So this movie tells the story of how the worlds most boring sport added math to create a system that doesn’t work. Holy shit, can I go stand in line now?

(be sure to note the meeting with the A’s scouts, who are all depicted as being in their 200’s. Yeah movie, we fuckin get it, it’s New vs. Old. You didn’t have to literally show that. Let me guess, their names are stuff like Stan Still, Theo Oldway and Tommy Noblacks. I hope everyones bifocals and VCR-sized hearing aids aren’t too subtle. Maybe they should re-shoot this scene and have them holding giant horns up to their ears. Would these be the same scouts who drafted the American League Rookie of the Year back to back to back just 10 years earlier? Why not 4 years in a row? Clearly they have no idea what they’re doing.)