Jude Law had just finished performing Shakespeare’s Henry V in London last night, when he was greeted by a crowd of his fans outside of the Noel Coward Theatre. While the balding playboy actor looks like he was pissed off, he probably wasn’t, because he stuck around and signed autographs and posed for pictures. I guess when you reach a certain age as an actor, you can either accept what nature has in store for you or you can try to hide your physical imperfections, so good for Jude for owning up to his balding hair. It probably also helps that he’s already slept with some of the hottest women in the world, so he could have a dick and massive balls growing on his forehead and he could still say, “Yeah, but Sienna Miller.”
‘Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows’ has a new trailer out this morning (HD copies here), and at first it may seem to be the exact same footage as the first trailer in a slightly different order, but actually this shows the movie will feature Rachel McAdams carrying a package and a bulldog that goes “rrr-woof!” That’s all I needed to see. Here’s my money Warner Brothers!
OLIVIA WILDE – is single, having separated from Tao Ruspoli after 8 years of marriage (wait, what?) because she thinks she got married too young (at 18) and now she wants to “sow her wild oats.” In other words, “fuck”. And if you think that’s surprising, how do you think I felt when that unconscious model in my hot tub turned out to be 16. I was all like, “whaaat!!” (us)
SIENNA MILLER AND JUDE LAW – are single too, having broken up after dating from 2003 to 2006 and then from 2009 until now. Oh so they weren’t compatible? I’m surprised because normally people change overnight. (ppl)
STING – has had a wife since 1992. And that’s not her. That’s some other girl on a yacht off the coast of Australia. It’s kind of sweet when two people make a connection like this. Really warms my heart. (inf daily)
Sienna Miller and Jude Law are still on a god damn yacht off the coast of Ibiza, Spain, where she spent the day in a bikini stabbing at him with her vagina and telling stories about my dong. And look at him. Just sittin there, takin it. It’s sad, really.
MEL GIBSON – claims his girlfriend tried to extort money from him in return for the tapes she made, and now she’s being investigated. The tapes likely won’t be admissible in any legal action against Mel, but the press he’s received has already ruined him professionally. “Well what did you expect from the Jew run media,” Gibson probably said. (la times)
LINDSAY LOHAN – cried a little when her lawyer came to visit yesterday. “She’s trying to make the necessary adjustments to an extremely stressful and difficult situation. There were some tears.” Girls often describe sex with me that same way. Because my dong is so huge, you see. (people)
OKSANA GRIGORIEVA – can prove that Mel Gibson hit their daughter because she has a picture showing the baby looking perfectly normal, except for an “abrasion” on her chin that you can only see because the camera is practically mushed against the babies face. Oksana says, “Mel punched her and hit their child.” With, I don’t even know, a straw, I guess. (radar)
JUDE LAW AND SIENNA MILLER – are still on vacation with three of Jude’s kids in Otranto, Apulia, Italy, and at least this time he has a beer in his hands. Last time he looked so girly he might as well have been kissing his Justin Bieber poster. (inf daily)