Kanye Divorces

Just 25-days ago America's finest music makerswere on a podium declaring the death of Spotify and Pandora and announcing the launch of Tidal, the true artist-fair music app. Kanye West, Madonna, that dude in the Mickey Mouse head, and Nicki Minaj got doe-eyed explaining howTidal would cost only twice as much as its competitors so Madonna could afford a decentoneg shabbat spread for her Kabbalah cluster. That pretty...

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Amy Schumer Prays to False Gods

Nobody works harder than Amy Schumer to promote her show. Schumer threw herself mockingly on the ground before Kim Kardashian and Kanye West as they entered the Time Magazine 100 Most Influential Persons Gala to be honored for helping the magazine sell a few more copies before it circles one last time down the historical bowl. Schumer's stunt wasn't super funny, but you have to honor the initiative. You could easily...

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Kanye West Impromptu Swan

Kim Kardashian prompted her social media assistant to Tweet that Kanye West jumped out of bed to perform a concert in the Armenian capital city. That crazy impetuous fool. Crazy night! Kanye wakes me up & says he's doing a free concert in Yerevan, Armenia! I throw on sweats & we go! Nary a phrase of that is the least bit believable. Black men who bolt unannounced into the streets of Armenia don't fare well....

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Khardashians Celebrate Genocide

The Kardashians headed to Armeniato honor the 100th anniversary of the 1915 Armenian genocide where anywhere from several hundred thousand to several million ethnic Armenians perished so that System of a Down could someday have arcane song lyrics. Genocide took a back seat on this day when Khloe Kardashian and Kim Kardashian and Kanye West and a camera crew landed in Armenia for a ten day trip visiting museums and...

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Kanye Settles Out Of Court And Shit Around The Web

Kanye West settled his battery case with pap Daniel Ramos with a hand shake, an apology, and some unknown shit load quantity of money.Everybody in the legal community kind of agreed that as hard as it was to imagine, Kanye was a bigger shit stain than even an airport paparazzi. Read all about how good Kanye's lawyers are. (TMZ) Jessica Davies gets buck naked just for you, you lucky bastard. (Egotastic) Paris Hilton...

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Poet Hot For Kanye

Sarah Blake is a poet who has written a book of poetry about Kanye West. Itwas published by the Wesleyan University Press because publishing books nobody buysallows you to pretend you're on the cultural vanguard. In fact you're publishing books about hipster twats who are writingpoems about Kanye West. A sample of Blake's insufferable nonsense: "The first poem I wrote, ‘Kanye's Circulatory System,' was actually still...

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The Brits Don't Want Kanye, Except They Do

Some guy in Britain started a petition to kick Kanye off the headliners list at the Glastonbury Music Festival this summer. The petition gained traction because people in the media loves to hate Kanye while everybody else in the world pretty much loves to give Kanye money. Neil Londsaleclaimed Kanye simply didn't represent what the Glastonbury festival is all about and also he doesn't deserve headlining status. Kanye...

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Rush Limbaugh Knows Rap And Shit Around The Web

Rush Limbaughsuggested Kanye West make a platinum selling single out of the Oklahoma University SAE n-bomb rant since rappers drop the n-bomb all the time in their music. Nothing's funnier than addressing a twenty-year running double standard and applying it to the rare case where it doesn't hold. It's probably time for Rush to hang it up. (TMZ) Charlie Riina showers in expensive fluids. (Egotastic) Eva Mendes is...

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Kim Kardashian Has Sex 500 Times a Day (VIDEO)

Kim Kardashian's claim that she has sex with Kanye five hundred times a day seems exaggerated. It's probably closer to fifty and only some of that is Kanye. That's entire reason for the bakery Turn-O-Matic tickets at the entrance to Kim's fuck cave. Plausible deniability. Also to stop vehicles from ramming. Kim's revelation comes in the latest promo for her sister-whores program which officially surpasses the nine...

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Kanye Grieves Like No Other

Sometimes you peel back the layers on a guy you just assumed was an asshole and you're able to confirm your suspicions. I'd recommend this for days when there's nothing good on TV. Kanye West broke down in tears on BBC radio talking about the recent death of his fashion mentor, Louise Wilson, a professor at a London Art School who Kanye once looked up on Wikipedia: Louise Wilson was the baddest professor of all time...

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Kanye A Victim Of His Own Awesome

Kanye's Yeezy Badger Vagina Booties show didn't go over so well at Fashion Week. This according to every person who willingly calls themselves a fashion expert without fear of being called undatable. Despite his best efforts to bring out a parade of pederastic treats in his Caligula inspired suede Adidas, all the snobs who matter turned their nose up at his cobbling work.This included the very chick who started...

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Guess Who Came To Dinner And Shit Around The Web

Former enemies and fellow scalawagsTaylor Swift and Kanye West met up for some dinner ahead of going into the studio to record a song together. It seems that the egomaniacs put that award show shit behind them in order to create one shitburger of a song. You can close your eyes, but you can't make it go away. Read all about this chode peace summit. (TMZ) It's colder than Santa's dick here, but it's bikini weather...

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Put The Needle In Her Arm Already

Kris Jenner posted aphoto of her crying grandchild North West understandably having a tantrum while waiting for her super straight dad's suede booty fashion show to start. That's fine. Tagging Beyonce and a host of other celebrities in the post could be pushing it.I feel we should allow children the decision to become useless assholes instead of having the decision thrust upon them. Like with Mormons or those guys who...

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Yeezy's Pedophile Booty Dreams Come to Life

I don't know what the fuck Kanye was selling last night. I think it was blank faced children in nude bodysuits. A horde of stolen Ukrainian teen sex slaves came marching out in suede booties to the sound of Kanye West's voice booming on about engineering greatness once more. I don't know. I feel like pedophilia has been around for a while. As have Northern Jersey hooker boots. Adidas got involved in this mess because...

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Brandon Browner Speaks His Mind

New England Patriotscornerback Brandon Browner sounded off on Kanye West via Twitter regarding West's tendency to pick on teenage girls and emo dudes who weigh a buck twenty out of their scented baths: "Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don't listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was a 15 yr old girl. Kanye try and play that I'm weird because of my genius. Non of the greats pull...

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