Brandon Browner Speaks His Mind

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 8:11 AM


New England Patriots cornerback Brandon Browner sounded off on Kanye West via Twitter regarding West’s tendency to pick on teenage girls and emo dudes who weigh a buck twenty out of their scented baths:

“Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don’t listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was a 15 yr old girl. Kanye try and play that I’m weird because of my genius. Non of the greats pull that stupid ish. Meaning Marley, Mike Jack, Tupac, Jayz etc. Peep who he tried Beck and Taylor Swift. Real tough guy. If only I could’ve been Beck for one night. Kanye would be rapping thru the wire.”

Usually super tough black guys go out of their way to gain respect from dweebs like West for reasons unknown. I love this Browner guy. He’s probably being flooded with hatred from all the music critics who hang outside the 7-11. Or called a traitor because he forms his own opinions. One thing is for certain: Kanye West could never do what Browner does. Yet with twelve producers, a pack of songwriters, composers, arrangers, some auto tune, and sixteen hours in the studio, Browner could attain credit for a track comparable to a Beyonce B-Side. Point Browner. To quote Bob Marley: Don’t let them change ‘ya or even rearrange ‘ya.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Kanye West Is The Antivenom

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 6:03 AM


After the Grammys Kanye West said Beck should have given his award for Best Album to Beyonce:

“All I know is if the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. ‘Flawless,’ Beyonce video. Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyonce, and at this point, we tired of it.”

Yeah why can’t Beck respect real artists? The kind who were forced into singing as first graders, have never written a song, lip synch on stage, and whose careers are based mostly on wearing Battlefield Earth outfits which cover their nipples and asshole? Beck actually writes songs and knows how to play an instrument. What a fucking poser. Maybe he’d be more of an artist if he married the girl everybody has banged and they sat court side at Lakers games. Shut the fuck up. It’s not worth discussing further, Kanye West is a dolt. The cool part is sales of Beck’s album and entire catalog shot up after Kanye’s comments. This proves people either like Beck, or hate Kanye West. Probably more the latter. It’s called a tambourine, pick one up.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Kanye Is Still An Asshole And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 09, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Kanye West hogwashed in his own assholery by slamming Beck for beating Beyonce for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It’s not that 95% of the non-fedora hat wearing world isn’t wondering how the fuck Beck won album of the year. It’s just that nobody believes you are really sticking up for other people. So go invent some new capes or some shit.

Read all about Kanye’s latest self-serving rant. (TMZ)

Is it just me or are Miranda Kerr’s tits bigger. (Egotastic)

Beyonce takes a really uncomfortable picture with Kim Kardashian. (Huffington Post)

Dania Ramirez shows off her bikini body on Twitter. (Drunken Stepfather)

Amanda Nicole Thomas uses her tits to sell pricey water. (Hollywood Tuna)

Robyn Lawley in a bikini for SI’s Swimsuit Issue is amazeballs. (Popoholic)

Madonna showed her pasty white old crone ass at the Grammys because Madonna. (Dlisted)

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed

By Lex January 28, 2015 @ 8:08 AM

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed
It’s not unusual for a husband to watch his wife get dressed. Unless it is. It probably is. Kanye has been infatuated with his wife even before they were together. He used to imagine Kim while pounding Amber Rose with his headphones on. That’s a special kind of bond that defies time and space and decency. Kim seems to enjoy the intense attention. She visited Entertainment Tonight to hawk some sort of shit and shared a snapshot of life with Kanye:

I mean, we do everything together from right as I was leaving here, like, ‘How do I look babe? How does my outfit look?’ And you know, he’s like ‘Eww, those shoes are bad, take those off, here, put these on, OK.

That’s darling. Or gay or crazy. We won’t know for certain until the murder-suicide note becomes public. Family and friends will comment in cutaways on the E! Special how there simply were no signs. And we will chuckle and mutter ‘Eww, those shoes’.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kanye West Is Humbled

By Matt January 26, 2015 @ 7:33 AM


Some autistic guy approached Kanye West and asked him to sign a photo of Kim Kardashian which had his crusted jizz on it. Embarrassingly enough the photo was from one of her weddings which got poor ratings and West refused to sign it. It’s a precarious situation. Nobody likes to think about Kris Humphries banging your wife or even playing basketball. If it’s any consolation they probably never fucked anyways. Normally I’d find this situation awkward. You don’t want to think about the other dicks your wife has had in her. It averages between 7.5 and 402 but Kim’s obviously higher on the curve. When there’s an easily accessible video of your lovely bride being bent over in good lighting it must be all the more difficult. If his marriage is real he should down some pills and finally pull the trigger.

Photo Credit: 

Kanye West Stole From Office Max

By Matt January 22, 2015 @ 7:32 AM


A deposition from a lawsuit filed by a photographer alleging Kanye West assaulted him has turned up the fact West was convicted of felony theft in 2000 for stealing printers from Office Max. West doesn’t really say if he did it or not, which probably means he did it, but blames the ordeal on racial profiling:

“I was racially profiled for having a white T-shirt and braids… a mistaken identity.”

So there were two guys in town with braids and the cops picked the wrong one? Since this was a popular hairstyle at the time it seems weird they would single out West. Maybe they suspected you of the theft since you’re a known problem individual. Plus they had all that evidence. West iterates that he was a Platinum Producer at the time, and hence would have no reason to steal printers. Coming from a clear sociopath there’s not a lot of rhyme or reason for any of his behavior so we’re back to ground zero. Did you steal these printers? If you answer by bragging about yourself again I’m going to assume Yes. That printer ink is a motherfucker. That’s probably why it’s behind the counter now.

Photo Credit: Instagram