Put The Needle In Her Arm Already

By Matt February 16, 2015 @ 6:33 AM


Kris Jenner posted a photo of her crying grandchild North West understandably having a tantrum while waiting for her super straight dad’s suede booty fashion show to start. That’s fine. Tagging Beyonce and a host of other celebrities in the post could be pushing it. I feel we should allow children the decision to become useless assholes instead of having the decision thrust upon them. Like with Mormons or those guys who build fireplaces. It’s a low percentage but a few do opt out. Kendall Jenner pondered her fate and promptly dropped out of high school. She was at least sprouting pubes and the instantly gratifying decision was hers alone. This is a fucking baby. The New York Post ran with Kris Jenner’s objectification and plastered it on their front page because their editors are just as dead inside but more poor. When all is said and done you’re just helping the terrorists. I’m not a conspiracy nut but they grow poppies. Connect the dots.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Yeezy’s Pedophile Booty Dreams Come to Life

By Lex February 13, 2015 @ 9:26 AM

I don’t know what the fuck Kanye was selling last night. I think it was blank faced children in nude bodysuits. A horde of stolen Ukrainian teen sex slaves came marching out in suede booties to the sound of Kanye West’s voice booming on about engineering greatness once more. I don’t know. I feel like pedophilia has been around for a while. As have Northern Jersey hooker boots. Adidas got involved in this mess because they’re losing market share in lifestyle clothing outside of Iran where they maintain a stranglehold on fashion. Beyonce, Rihanna, and Diddy all applauded from the front row as Anna Wintour thought of ways to choke out North West who was screaming beside her. The kid’s not a brat, she just knows shitty overpriced footwear when she sees it.

Suck on that Beck, you non-pedo, non suede booty fashion supervisor.

Photo Credit: INF/Splash/Instagram

Brandon Browner Speaks His Mind

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 8:11 AM


New England Patriots cornerback Brandon Browner sounded off on Kanye West via Twitter regarding West’s tendency to pick on teenage girls and emo dudes who weigh a buck twenty out of their scented baths:

“Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don’t listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was a 15 yr old girl. Kanye try and play that I’m weird because of my genius. Non of the greats pull that stupid ish. Meaning Marley, Mike Jack, Tupac, Jayz etc. Peep who he tried Beck and Taylor Swift. Real tough guy. If only I could’ve been Beck for one night. Kanye would be rapping thru the wire.”

Usually super tough black guys go out of their way to gain respect from dweebs like West for reasons unknown. I love this Browner guy. He’s probably being flooded with hatred from all the music critics who hang outside the 7-11. Or called a traitor because he forms his own opinions. One thing is for certain: Kanye West could never do what Browner does. Yet with twelve producers, a pack of songwriters, composers, arrangers, some auto tune, and sixteen hours in the studio, Browner could attain credit for a track comparable to a Beyonce B-Side. Point Browner. To quote Bob Marley: Don’t let them change ‘ya or even rearrange ‘ya.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Kanye West Is The Antivenom

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 6:03 AM


After the Grammys Kanye West said Beck should have given his award for Best Album to Beyonce:

“All I know is if the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. ‘Flawless,’ Beyonce video. Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyonce, and at this point, we tired of it.”

Yeah why can’t Beck respect real artists? The kind who were forced into singing as first graders, have never written a song, lip synch on stage, and whose careers are based mostly on wearing Battlefield Earth outfits which cover their nipples and asshole? Beck actually writes songs and knows how to play an instrument. What a fucking poser. Maybe he’d be more of an artist if he married the girl everybody has banged and they sat court side at Lakers games. Shut the fuck up. It’s not worth discussing further, Kanye West is a dolt. The cool part is sales of Beck’s album and entire catalog shot up after Kanye’s comments. This proves people either like Beck, or hate Kanye West. Probably more the latter. It’s called a tambourine, pick one up.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Kanye Is Still An Asshole And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 09, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Kanye West hogwashed in his own assholery by slamming Beck for beating Beyonce for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It’s not that 95% of the non-fedora hat wearing world isn’t wondering how the fuck Beck won album of the year. It’s just that nobody believes you are really sticking up for other people. So go invent some new capes or some shit.

Read all about Kanye’s latest self-serving rant. (TMZ)

Is it just me or are Miranda Kerr’s tits bigger. (Egotastic)

Beyonce takes a really uncomfortable picture with Kim Kardashian. (Huffington Post)

Dania Ramirez shows off her bikini body on Twitter. (Drunken Stepfather)

Amanda Nicole Thomas uses her tits to sell pricey water. (Hollywood Tuna)

Robyn Lawley in a bikini for SI’s Swimsuit Issue is amazeballs. (Popoholic)

Madonna showed her pasty white old crone ass at the Grammys because Madonna. (Dlisted)

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed

By Lex January 28, 2015 @ 8:08 AM

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed
It’s not unusual for a husband to watch his wife get dressed. Unless it is. It probably is. Kanye has been infatuated with his wife even before they were together. He used to imagine Kim while pounding Amber Rose with his headphones on. That’s a special kind of bond that defies time and space and decency. Kim seems to enjoy the intense attention. She visited Entertainment Tonight to hawk some sort of shit and shared a snapshot of life with Kanye:

I mean, we do everything together from right as I was leaving here, like, ‘How do I look babe? How does my outfit look?’ And you know, he’s like ‘Eww, those shoes are bad, take those off, here, put these on, OK.

That’s darling. Or gay or crazy. We won’t know for certain until the murder-suicide note becomes public. Family and friends will comment in cutaways on the E! Special how there simply were no signs. And we will chuckle and mutter ‘Eww, those shoes’.

Photo Credit: Instagram