Yeezy’s Pedophile Booty Dreams Come to Life

By Lex February 13, 2015 @ 9:26 AM

I don’t know what the fuck Kanye was selling last night. I think it was blank faced children in nude bodysuits. A horde of stolen Ukrainian teen sex slaves came marching out in suede booties to the sound of Kanye West’s voice booming on about engineering greatness once more. I don’t know. I feel like pedophilia has been around for a while. As have Northern Jersey hooker boots. Adidas got involved in this mess because they’re losing market share in lifestyle clothing outside of Iran where they maintain a stranglehold on fashion. Beyonce, Rihanna, and Diddy all applauded from the front row as Anna Wintour thought of ways to choke out North West who was screaming beside her. The kid’s not a brat, she just knows shitty overpriced footwear when she sees it.

Suck on that Beck, you non-pedo, non suede booty fashion supervisor.

Photo Credit: INF/Splash/Instagram

Brandon Browner Speaks His Mind

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 8:11 AM


New England Patriots cornerback Brandon Browner sounded off on Kanye West via Twitter regarding West’s tendency to pick on teenage girls and emo dudes who weigh a buck twenty out of their scented baths:

“Kanye West is a sucka! Everybody don’t listen to Beyonce. Second time he tried to steal somebody shine. First time it was a 15 yr old girl. Kanye try and play that I’m weird because of my genius. Non of the greats pull that stupid ish. Meaning Marley, Mike Jack, Tupac, Jayz etc. Peep who he tried Beck and Taylor Swift. Real tough guy. If only I could’ve been Beck for one night. Kanye would be rapping thru the wire.”

Usually super tough black guys go out of their way to gain respect from dweebs like West for reasons unknown. I love this Browner guy. He’s probably being flooded with hatred from all the music critics who hang outside the 7-11. Or called a traitor because he forms his own opinions. One thing is for certain: Kanye West could never do what Browner does. Yet with twelve producers, a pack of songwriters, composers, arrangers, some auto tune, and sixteen hours in the studio, Browner could attain credit for a track comparable to a Beyonce B-Side. Point Browner. To quote Bob Marley: Don’t let them change ‘ya or even rearrange ‘ya.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Kanye West Is The Antivenom

By Matt February 12, 2015 @ 6:03 AM


After the Grammys Kanye West said Beck should have given his award for Best Album to Beyonce:

“All I know is if the Grammys want real artists to keep coming back, they need to stop playing with us. We ain’t gonna play with them no more. ‘Flawless,’ Beyonce video. Beck needs to respect artistry and he should have given his award to Beyonce, and at this point, we tired of it.”

Yeah why can’t Beck respect real artists? The kind who were forced into singing as first graders, have never written a song, lip synch on stage, and whose careers are based mostly on wearing Battlefield Earth outfits which cover their nipples and asshole? Beck actually writes songs and knows how to play an instrument. What a fucking poser. Maybe he’d be more of an artist if he married the girl everybody has banged and they sat court side at Lakers games. Shut the fuck up. It’s not worth discussing further, Kanye West is a dolt. The cool part is sales of Beck’s album and entire catalog shot up after Kanye’s comments. This proves people either like Beck, or hate Kanye West. Probably more the latter. It’s called a tambourine, pick one up.

Photo Credit: Twitter 

Kanye Is Still An Asshole And Shit Around The Web

By Jack February 09, 2015 @ 12:00 PM


Kanye West hogwashed in his own assholery by slamming Beck for beating Beyonce for Album of the Year at the Grammys. It’s not that 95% of the non-fedora hat wearing world isn’t wondering how the fuck Beck won album of the year. It’s just that nobody believes you are really sticking up for other people. So go invent some new capes or some shit.

Read all about Kanye’s latest self-serving rant. (TMZ)

Is it just me or are Miranda Kerr’s tits bigger. (Egotastic)

Beyonce takes a really uncomfortable picture with Kim Kardashian. (Huffington Post)

Dania Ramirez shows off her bikini body on Twitter. (Drunken Stepfather)

Amanda Nicole Thomas uses her tits to sell pricey water. (Hollywood Tuna)

Robyn Lawley in a bikini for SI’s Swimsuit Issue is amazeballs. (Popoholic)

Madonna showed her pasty white old crone ass at the Grammys because Madonna. (Dlisted)

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed

By Lex January 28, 2015 @ 8:08 AM

Kanye Watches Kim Kardashian Get Dressed
It’s not unusual for a husband to watch his wife get dressed. Unless it is. It probably is. Kanye has been infatuated with his wife even before they were together. He used to imagine Kim while pounding Amber Rose with his headphones on. That’s a special kind of bond that defies time and space and decency. Kim seems to enjoy the intense attention. She visited Entertainment Tonight to hawk some sort of shit and shared a snapshot of life with Kanye:

I mean, we do everything together from right as I was leaving here, like, ‘How do I look babe? How does my outfit look?’ And you know, he’s like ‘Eww, those shoes are bad, take those off, here, put these on, OK.

That’s darling. Or gay or crazy. We won’t know for certain until the murder-suicide note becomes public. Family and friends will comment in cutaways on the E! Special how there simply were no signs. And we will chuckle and mutter ‘Eww, those shoes’.

Photo Credit: Instagram

Kanye West Is Humbled

By Matt January 26, 2015 @ 7:33 AM


Some autistic guy approached Kanye West and asked him to sign a photo of Kim Kardashian which had his crusted jizz on it. Embarrassingly enough the photo was from one of her weddings which got poor ratings and West refused to sign it. It’s a precarious situation. Nobody likes to think about Kris Humphries banging your wife or even playing basketball. If it’s any consolation they probably never fucked anyways. Normally I’d find this situation awkward. You don’t want to think about the other dicks your wife has had in her. It averages between 7.5 and 402 but Kim’s obviously higher on the curve. When there’s an easily accessible video of your lovely bride being bent over in good lighting it must be all the more difficult. If his marriage is real he should down some pills and finally pull the trigger.

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