Kanye West Is Humbled

Some autistic guy approached Kanye West and asked him to sign a photo of Kim Kardashianwhich had his crustedjizz on it. Embarrassingly enough the photo was from one of herweddings which got poor ratings and West refused to sign it. It's aprecarioussituation. Nobody likes to think about Kris Humphries bangingyour wife or even playing basketball. If it's any consolation they probably never fucked anyways. Normally I'd...read more

Kanye West Stole From Office Max

A deposition from a lawsuit filed by a photographer alleging Kanye West assaulted him has turned up the fact West was convicted of felony theft in 2000 for stealing printers from Office Max. West doesn't really say if he did it or not, which probably means he did it, but blames the ordeal on racial profiling: "I was racially profiled for having a white T-shirt and braids...a mistaken identity." So there were two guys...read more

Kim Kardashian And Kanye West Sell Jeans

If you've ever thought to yourself, damn, I'd love to splash chowder across Kim Kardashian's tits over the hood of my car then buy myself some $2600 French man trousers, this advertisement is for you. I say it's even sexier because a loving husband and his still wife are playing master and servant. Third marriages based in blind greed and anal cream piesare hot. French haute couture suddenly becomes relatable when you...read more

Kim And Kanye Most Liked In History

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding photo got 2.4 million Likes on Instagram, the most of 2014 and the most ever for a photo on Instagram. To be fair it was a slow year. Scores of retarded teens and the unemployed had to wade through countless boring shots documenting many state's first Gay Marriages, the discovery of the oldest Roman Temple on record, a bunch of stem cell stuff, some Higgs-Boson shit, a Super...read more

Kimye Action Figures And Shit Around The Web

Kanye West And Kim Kardashian have made dolls of themselves for North West to play with. You have to wonder if the Kanye doll is a 'Betsy Wetsy' type that can pee in Kim's mouth. You know, realistic play is important. I think I'm going to make me some Kimye voodoo dolls. (TMZ) Surprisingly, years of ass to mouth didn't turn Sasha Grey into a feminist. (Huffington Post) Helen Flanagan has some big 'ol titty balls. (...read more

Kanye West Hates The Handicapped And Shit Around The Web

Kanye West managed to piss off pretty much everyone when he yelled at two handicapped people in wheelchairs for not standing up at his show. I guess maybe he thought he could heal them with his asshole Yeezus power. Watch Kanye be the second worse thing to happen to the handicapped. (Dlisted) Eva Longoria is still pretty fucking hot in a bikini. (Popoholic) Lisa Opie does downward facing dog and causes upward facing...read more

Kanye's Dad Was A Pap And Shit Around The Web

Loathsome douchenozzle Kanye West said in response to getting sued by a paparazzo that he can't hate them because his dad used to be one. Also, he can't hate people who die during liposuction because... well, never mind. Read more of Kanye trying to pretend he's cool with the paps. (Movie Pilot) Coco's ass cannot be contained by a g-string bikini. It must run free! (Dlisted) Megan Fox throws like a girl. (Popoholic)...read more

Kanye West Shows His Cards

Kanye West became increasingly forthcoming during an ongoing deposition for a lawsuit with a paparazzi who accused West of assault. West was hostile during earlier depositions but when your expensive lawyers tell you to start acting contrite even the most ardent rebels tend to listen. West reversed his earlier stance on hatred for the paparazzi: "My father was a paparazzo himself. My father was a medical illustrator,...read more

Kanye West Photographically Lynched

In a deposition for a civil case where he is accused of assaulting a paparazzi, Kanye West compared the plight of celebrities to that of blacks during the civil rights movement. West sees the paparazzi as an intrusive force who often show up too early when he alerts them of his whereabouts. He should be giving them credit for playing along with a vocal minority who pretend his wife is worth photographing. Of course...read more

Kanye West Still A Dick And Shit Around The Web

Human ass polyp Kanye West was booed on stage at a concert in London. No, it wasn't because of his shitty music this time. It was because he went on a twenty minute rant about how paparazzi taking his picture is like rape. Because, you know, having your picture taken is exactly like having someone forcibly shove their dick in your ass. What kind of photogs do they have in England? Read more about Kanye's latest shat...read more

Kim Kardashian Looking Chesty Out To Dinner With Kanye West In West Hollywood

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Pacific Coast Newsread more

North West In Lockdown

Kanye West is beefing up the security detailfor his most closely approximating legitimate child, North. He wants to build a zone of privacy around his daughter from the shutterbugs and voyeurs and Satan to whom he promised his first born in exchange for this whole inexplicable career success. Kanye joins the ranks of celebrities unable to perceive the irony that disturbingly invasive levels of media exposure are...read more

Kanye's Teen Project Awaits His Return

Before Jesus told Kanye to go become Kim Kardashian's third husband, Kanye was spending late nights at the studio with Kylie's teen singing friend Pia Mia Perez. Kanye insists the bleached blond YouTube star is going to be the next Rihanna. I think that means she's young and ethnic and her voice takes to computer modulation. Also, she can touch her hair and body a lot and pretend to be filled with emotions, as she...read more

The Honeymoon Is Over

To consummate Kim's third marriage, Kanye West and his whore bride went on a whirlwind honeymoon across Europe visiting cities where people didn't know them well enough yet to instinctively throw rocks. Their final stop was Prague where the couple tongued each other on a public bench forever making Hitlers march to the Castle only the second worst living memory for the elderly city residents. There was barely time to...read more

Details Of Kim's Wedding Reveal That It Was Awful

There's not a person alive, cursed with knowledge of the existence of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, who thinks that their wedding last weekend was going to be anything but a display of narcissistic bullshit and a reminder to everyone in attendance that they think they're the most important people in the world. According to Page Six, though, it was so much worse than we could have imagined, from all of the bathrooms...read more