monday morning headlines

By brendon July 12, 2010 @ 11:14 AM

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ROMAN POLANSKI - will not be extradited by the Swiss to the US. He of course was convicted in 1977 of drugging a 13-year-old model and fucking her in the ass, but he fled the country and has never served a day in jail. Well maybe I’ll just go over there and fuck some of their teen models in the ass. Two can play this little game, Switzerland. (huff post)

EVERYONE GOT MARRIED THIS WEEKEND - including Carrie Underwood to NHL star Mike Fisher, Martin Lawrence to Shamicka Gibbs, and John Krasinski and Emily Blunt to each other. By contrast, I found a big box, painted numbers on it and pretended it was a race car. Oh god I’m so lonely! (people, people, people)

MEL GIBSON - has said offensive stuff for a long time, and here’s a list of some of it going back as far as 1991 when he said: “They take it up the ass. (points to his anus) This is only for taking a shit.” To make matters worse he was answering a question about Mexicans when he said that. (gawker)

SOPHIE TURNER – spent the weekend in a bikini in Malibu, and I think I see a shark behind her in one of these pictures. She should take her bikini top off and signal for help. (pacific coast)

“if you get raped by a pack…”

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 5:22 PM

I was mostly offended by the part where he made fun of breast implants. Sick son of a bitch. I hope the cops lock this bastard up and throw away the key.

(WARNING: this obviously has extremely NSFW language)

mel gibson told oksana he’d bury her in his garden

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 12:37 PM

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Mel Gibson has gotten a lot of bad press lately, but finally someone is saying something nice about him. Turns out he made a promise to his girlfriend that he would bury her in their rose garden after she passed away. It’s kind of sweet really, that he would want to keep her so close. And girls go crazy about roses.

Wait, I might not be understanding this. Radar says…

“Mel made a series of serious and violent threats against Oksana,” a source, with direct knowledge of the situation, told RadarOnline.com.
“When things in their relationship started going badly and he made the first threats against her, Oksana decided she needed to protect herself.
“She made the recordings and on one of them, Mel is heard telling Oksana, ‘I will bury you in the rose garden,’ which she believed to be a clear reference to killing her.”

The big question now is will this hurt Mels career. These days, even if you only punch a woman in the face, knock her teeth out, threaten to burn her house down, threaten to kill her, call Mexicans wetbacks, call black people niggers, imply black people prowl the streets in packs looking to rape white woman, drive drunk, and verbally abuse police one time, suddenly you get labeled as a “bad guy”.

did mel gibson beat up this girl too?

By brendon July 09, 2010 @ 10:06 AM

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Violet Kowal is the porn star from Poland who says Mel Gibson had an affair with her while his girlfriend, whom he had an affair with while married, was pregnant. And since Mel Gibson is reportedly a violent sociopath, In Touch asked her if he ever got violent with her too. Spoiler Alert: Yes. Sort of.

“His threats scared me so badly,” Violet tells In Touch, “I left town and went into hiding for almost a month.”
“I agreed to go visit him at his Malibu compound,” she explains. The two had sex for the first time, though Violet was uneasy. “He didn’t want to use protection, but I insisted,” she says. “He seemed paranoid and anxious. He chain-smoked before and after we had sex. It was weird.”
“He would get very aggressive and angry if I was not available,” she explains, “even yelling and demanding to come to my home when I refused to see him.”

Mel’s mistake was thinking these foreigners would be too scared or naive to rat him out. Why didn’t he just keep a sex slave in a coffin downstairs like normal people? I could have asked mine if she had any single friends. This Mel is a real weirdo.

mel gibson is under investigation

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 5:15 PM

mel_gibson_domestic_abuse

For several days now there have been reports that Mel Gibson beat his ex girlfriend, once so severely that she lost two teeth and suffered a concussion. Are these allegations true? Did he hit his ex wife as well? Was he wearing a Big Dog muscle shirt and jean shorts when he did it? The Los Angeles Sheriffs department is lookin for some answers. The AP says…

“An investigation of domestic violence was launched by [Los Angeles Sheriff's] Malibu/Lost Hills station detectives … involving actor Mel Gibson and his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva,” read a statement released Thursday. “The detective in charge of the investigation is currently gathering information regarding the allegations. Due to the investigation being preliminary in nature, no other information is available at this time.”

It’s exciting to see law enforcement in LA finally hold celebrities accountable for their actions. Sending Lindsay Lohan to jail was amazing enough. Two in one week would be an accomplishment on par with the moon landing.

thursday morning headlines

By brendon July 08, 2010 @ 11:13 AM

Kate Gosselin, Joel Gosselin, Aaden Gosselin

MEL GIBSON – is heard calling an employee a ‘wetback’ on a recording made by his ex. “I will report her to the fucking people that take fucking money from the wetbacks,” he says. Does he mean stores that sell rims? What can they do about Mexicans? (radar)

LINDSAY LOHAN - told her friends that the judge who gave her 90 days in jail was out to get her, and then called her “a fucking bitch.” So it seems Lindsay really has changed. We should all line up and apologize. (tmz)

THE EMMYS – were announced this morning, and in keeping with tradition, none of it makes the slightest bit of sense, including shows like ‘Always Sunny…’ and ‘Community’ being completely left out, while ‘Glee’ was nominated in best comedy. That piece of shit show shouldn’t be on a list of best comedies even if you demanded that they all have the word ‘glee’ in the title. (gawker)

KATE GOSSELIN – thinks she’s 18 apparently. And attractive. And even though she’s a mom out with her 8 kids, she dresses like someone going shopping for cock rings. What a dynamite lady. (inf daily)