New Mel Gibson audio has been released today, featuring Mel threatening to kill or beat up his ex girlfriend several different times during the 8 minute tape, meaning either he’s a sociopath or she’s some type of hard-to-kill zombie. Highlights include…

– MEL: “You need a f*cking bat in the side of the head. Alright, how about that?”
(just in case that wasn’t rhetorical, “No thank you.”)

- MEL: “I’ll put you in a f *ckin rose garden you c*nt! You understand that? Because I’m capable of it. You understand that?”
(I don’t think she understands yet. Maybe another dozen threatening examples would help.)

- OKSANA: “What kind of a man is that? Hitting a woman when she’s holding a child in her hands? Breaking her teeth twice in the face! What kind of man is that?”
MEL: “Oh, you’re all angry now! You know what, you f*cking deserved it!”
(maybe she was swinging the baby around by its feet.)

He gets so angry at one point he’s literally breathless. Does anyone know where this guy is, by the way? Are we safe? He’s a violent maniac with his back against the wall and a billion dollars. We should declare him an enemy of the state before he builds some sort of doomsday device.

I was mostly offended by the part where he made fun of breast implants. Sick son of a bitch. I hope the cops lock this bastard up and throw away the key.

(WARNING: this obviously has extremely NSFW language)

Violet Kowal is the porn star from Poland who says Mel Gibson had an affair with her while his girlfriend, whom he had an affair with while married, was pregnant. And since Mel Gibson is reportedly a violent sociopath, In Touch asked her if he ever got violent with her too. Spoiler Alert: Yes. Sort of.

“His threats scared me so badly,” Violet tells In Touch, “I left town and went into hiding for almost a month.”
“I agreed to go visit him at his Malibu compound,” she explains. The two had sex for the first time, though Violet was uneasy. “He didn’t want to use protection, but I insisted,” she says. “He seemed paranoid and anxious. He chain-smoked before and after we had sex. It was weird.”
“He would get very aggressive and angry if I was not available,” she explains, “even yelling and demanding to come to my home when I refused to see him.”

Mel’s mistake was thinking these foreigners would be too scared or naive to rat him out. Why didn’t he just keep a sex slave in a coffin downstairs like normal people? I could have asked mine if she had any single friends. This Mel is a real weirdo.

For several days now there have been reports that Mel Gibson beat his ex girlfriend, once so severely that she lost two teeth and suffered a concussion. Are these allegations true? Did he hit his ex wife as well? Was he wearing a Big Dog muscle shirt and jean shorts when he did it? The Los Angeles Sheriffs department is lookin for some answers. The AP says…

“An investigation of domestic violence was launched by [Los Angeles Sheriff's] Malibu/Lost Hills station detectives … involving actor Mel Gibson and his former girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva,” read a statement released Thursday. “The detective in charge of the investigation is currently gathering information regarding the allegations. Due to the investigation being preliminary in nature, no other information is available at this time.”

It’s exciting to see law enforcement in LA finally hold celebrities accountable for their actions. Sending Lindsay Lohan to jail was amazing enough. Two in one week would be an accomplishment on par with the moon landing.