Orlando Bloom Doesn't Like Fatties And Shit Around The Web

Moderately fey elfOrlando Bloom all but admitted that when he's out slaying pussy, he is not a fan of the plus sized ladies. He prefers skinny chicks because they're more agile and closely resembling young boys.I'm not saying that he's in the closet...but I'm not not saying that. Read all about Orlando's fatty hate. (TMZ) Miranda Kerr almost shows almost all her boobs. (Egotastic) Kanye West is planning on recording...read more

Orlando Bloom Justin Bieber Bar Fight Was Super Intense (VIDEO)

No matter where you fall on the pussy scale of life, it's super important at any given moment in your life to not be the biggest pussy in the room. The second biggest pussy skates. The biggest pussy is singled out by the pack and devoured. Look around the room. If you're not sure if you're the one, you're the one. Get the fuck out. Orlando Bloom nearly landed a swipe to Justin Bieber's smug maw at a club in...read more

Is Selena Gomez Porking Legolas?

Selena Gomez has been seen around town with the very pretty Orlando Bloom. The two were spotted canoodling outside of the Chelsea Handler live comedy show at the L.A. Forum where half of Hollywood were ordered to attend by their shared publicists. When the photogs spotted the new couple, Bloom darted away like he was prancing after marauding orcs. It's possible that the two are having a good old fashioned revenge...read more

Orlando Bloom Has a New Girlfriend

Miranda Kerr tossed Orlando Bloom because she tired of mounting a dude who giggled every time he found the perfect new turtleneck. So Orlando went somewhere where skinny dudes can wear kerchiefs and ride mopeds and still have hot girlfriends -- France. I remember seeing this Nora Arnezeder chick in the movie Safe House when trying not to focus on Ryan Reynolds trying to act. She's pretty fucking hot. She is French so...read more

Orlando Bloom is weird

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr are in Australia today, and she's in a bikini drinking champagne in a hot tub with some other random girls who are also in bikinis, and he's holding a naked babies penis up to his face. He must really really like that babies penis.read more

morning headlines

MIRANDA KERR - posted the first picture of her son Flynn, presumably taken by her husband Orlando Bloom, and as you can see it was while he was sucking on one of her perky little tits. Which means he's 2 weeks old and his life has probably peaked. (kora organics) BRUCE WILLIS - was a pain in the ass to work with on Cop Out, according to director Kevin Smith. "I had no fucking help from this dude whatsoever." And yet...read more

friday afternoon headlines

ORLANDO BLOOM AND MIRANDA KERR - had a boy. And I bet that handsome bastard has already gotten more pussy than I have this year. (us) LINDSAY LOHAN - has been handed a $135,000 Range Rover Onyx, to borrow "for an undisclosed length of time", by a Beverly Hills dealer. The plan of course is for people to see Lindsay driving the car and then go see them and say, "I want one of those cars like the one Lindsay wrecked." (...read more

Miranda Kerr is pregnant

I know what you're thinking. You're asking yourself, "Do these pictures show Miranda Kerr modeling in LA this week? Didn't she just get married to Orlando Bloom? Why does she look so fat?" Yes, yes, and because she's pregnant. Us weekly says... "She's definitely pregnant... Miranda's thrilled," says a source close to the Australia native, who wed (Bloom) at an undisclosed location -- reportedly in the Caribbean --...read more

Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr got married

Victorias Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr (seen here during a shoot in the Caribbean last July) and Orlando Bloom (image not available) have been dating since 2007, but they've always stayed out of the spotlight. In fact it was only last month when word leaked that they were engaged. Now it turns out they're already on their honeymoon, and the only reason anyone even knows that is because Kerr had to release a...read more

monday afternoon headlines

PAGET BREWSTER - is the best comedic actress in Hollywood (and she does amazing impressions of black people), so I'm selfishly happy that CBS is run by fumbling idiots who plan on essentially firing the entire female cast of 'Criminal Minds', despite the overwhelming objections (1, 2) from the shows fans ("the fans can suck my dick", replied CBS while pointing at its crotch). Hopefully now she'll go back to comedy. I...read more

somethin' for the ladies...

Oh that's weird. I saved a picture of Orlando Bloom walking around a yacht with no shirt on as the banner picture but instead my computer posted a picture of Miranda Kerrs ass. My computer must be homophobic. That's the thing about machines, they can't be taught to open their hearts. (source = inf daily and fame)read more

Orlando Bloom is a real sicko

I was trying to think of some reasons to call Orlando Bloom an asshole because I resent him being at Cannes on a yacht with Victoria's Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr, but then it dawned on me I've never heard anything bad about him. I know one time he had a cold, and I think one of his cousins is adopted. Maybe there's something to that. Maybe he got the cold because he was fucking orphans. Let's go with that. Hey did...read more

somethin for tha ladies...

Orlando Bloom was caught on the set of "Sympathy for Delicious" today with some big fake tattoos and snug leather pants. He’s a wispy little fella, isn’t he. I wonder if he still dates that hot model chick. Because I wouldn’t mind following this dude. Her vagina is gonna be like new. Not a scratch on it. And she’ll be in heaven because, just between us, my penis is amazing. One time it even brought a girl back to life....read more


Australian Victoria’s Secret supermodel Miranda Kerr and her boyfriend Orlando Bloom hung out topless and naked around the pool yesterday at the Awesome Life Hotel in FanatsyLand, Heaven. And good for them. Those two kids deserve a break in life.(picture source - bauer griffin)read more


If Orlando Bloom is dating Jessica Simpson, it's news to Orlando Bloom, who was seen last nighttrying to cool things down with a dude whose girlfriend Orlando was hitting on. I think. It's a little confusing. At one point it's hard to tell if they're about to fight or make out. I think the other dude is in love. Nothing happens and the video is boring, but the girl is super hot, so, awesome, right? KATIE HOLMES WANTS...read more