By Lex April 23, 2014 @ 12:57 PM
If I had to choose between the shrill screams of angry jobless journalism majors or a simple sign and a pair of painted tits, I’d choose the latter. But I’m pretty sure the PETA ladies who come up with these topless in public plans don’t think their strategies completely through. If a topless woman asks a dude to give up the slaughtered flesh of baby lambs, he’ll say yes without hesitation. The minute those tits disappear, he’ll be biting into the neck of a llama to fulfill his carnivorous destiny. Now, you bring those bad girls back to the flat, he might just clear out the suckling pig in the fridge. For a good toss in the sack, he’ll probably shove those fake meat patties that taste like dirt up his ass and swear off consuming all sentient creatures. Men require a value proposition. This is 2014. You can see ten thousand tits for free on the Internet. PETA, if you truly love animals, you’ll tell the girls to dig a little deeper into their vagina pockets during field ops.
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
By Travis January 23, 2014 @ 1:04 PM
Singer and miniature Nickelodeon star Ariana Grande was spotted wearing a PETA shirt while on her way to the recording studio yesterday, and I don’t like to label tiny celebrities with stereotypes, but I’m guessing that she’s less of a paint-thrower and pit bull euthanizer and more of a girl who thinks buying a shirt means saving puppies and kittens. Her allegiance with the animal activist group is interesting, though, because she recently claimed that she “wears more fake hair than every drag queen on Earth,” but I’ll assume to her credit that it’s real human hair and not from slaughtered horses. I tried to ask her while she was walking, but then a hawk flew by and scooped her up.
Photo Credits: Michael Wright/WENN.com
By Lex September 06, 2013 @ 3:27 PM
Honestly, if you’re not at least willing to get naked in public to save the animals, I’m feeling like you don’t care that much to save a furry life. The bar has been set, ladies, tits or we kill the baby fox and make a stole. A little beaver and I might just save one. I can go to a Stop Urban Sprawl or Oil Kills protest if I want to see body paint and signs. For God’s creatures great and small, take off them bikinis.
Photo Credit: WENN
By Lex August 22, 2013 @ 12:56 PM
PETA believes that there’s no limit to the ends they should employ to get people to stop imprisoning and killing animals. Every option is on the table. Except apparently actually showing any tits or ass in their so called ‘nude’ celebrity campaigns. Vandalizing businesses, cool, showing nips, whoa, sit the fuck back down, Lester.
Here’s Real Houswives star Adriana de Moura not really nude for PETA. She wants Lolita, the killer whale at the Miami aquarium, released back into the wild after forty-three years in captivity. You know, so we can watch her starve to death before being scavenged by predators she’s never encountered before in her show pony existence.
Photo Credit: PETA
By Travis August 01, 2013 @ 9:00 AM
PETA is generally a pretty over-the-top, borderline obnoxious organization that does more to hurt its own cause than it does to stop people from abusing, killing or eating animals, but we don’t ever pay attention to that crap because it’s also really good at finding attractive women to take their clothes off. But this time, with Courtney Stodden appearing yesterday in Los Angeles in a lettuce bikini, it’s like they didn’t even try.
There are homeless women that could make me care more about animals than Heidi Montag 2.0 and her husband, Spencer Fatt. In fact, I might just go kill an endangered species just to protest this protest.
(Photo Credits: revolutionpix/WENN.com)
By Travis June 14, 2013 @ 10:00 AM
Yesterday, we brought you the incredibly important news that four former Miss USA winners – Shanna Moakler, Susie Castillo, Shandi Finnessey and Alyssa Campanella – took off all of their clothes and covered their breasts for PETA. A braver act we hadn’t seen in some time, that is, until PETA released a video of the four women naked, holding their breasts and suddenly animals seemed less delicious.
I’m not a genius or anything, but I’m pretty sure that if Alyssa Campanella spent her time getting naked for various global causes and charities, we’d be living in utopia by yesterday.