Lindsay will show her spread to Ellen, so to speak

By brendon December 07, 2011 @ 4:43 PM

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In her 5th “first interview since getting out of jail”, Lindsay Lohan will unveil her issue of Playboy on ‘The Ellen DeGeneres Show’ on December 15th, about a week before the magazine goes on sale. It sounds sexy already!

“The pictorial is absolutely fantastic and very tasteful, and will be accompanied by an interview that will let readers see another side of Lindsay,” her rep said.

In other words the pictures will be boring and the interview will be a pack of lies. It’ll be Lindsay lighting a candle while white hair extensions hide her tits above a quote saying she gets visits from the Angel Moroni. “The first time the angel was all, ‘you’re doing great Lindsay, no drugs or nothin, why is that judge such a cunt for no reason you didn’t even do anything’, and I was like, ‘I know right! I been saying that the whole time Macaroni Angel but everyone is all like nu-uh Lindsay you’re lyin’.”

(image source = fame)

Lindsays Playboy shoot will suck

By brendon November 08, 2011 @ 4:57 PM

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Lindsay Lohan had an idea for the theme of her Playboy photo shoot and, as you probably guessed, it was dumb. She wanted the pictures to look like a “Kate Moss fashion inspired story,” whatever the hell that means. But Hugh Hefner didn’t like the resulting pictures so he made her do a new set with more of a “classic Hollywood Marilyn Monroe feel”.

So not only has she now done two photo shoots that just copy other photo shoots, but she’s now copying the same thing she copied the first time she posed naked. And boring get’s boringer thanks to this

This weekend, Lohan was accompanied by lawyers, agents and publicists who, sources said, “gave their two cents about what was considered ‘nude’ and what was not.” Sources said Lohan ended up delivering the Monroe-inspired images Hefner wanted. She’s expected to appear nude, but “strategically covered up” in certain shots.

I suppose it’s too much to hope that they’re talking about her face.

Lindsay Lohan is posing naked for Playboy

By brendon October 25, 2011 @ 10:01 AM

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In an event that literally everyone predicted starting about 5 years ago, Lindsay Lohan posed naked for Playboy this weekend.

There’s no word on when the pictures will be released, and TMZ says this was just the first of a few planned shoots. For the record, after some negotiating, she was paid somewhere between $750,000 and $1,000,000.

She’s already posed naked before of course, in New York magazine (see those pictures here), but this should be even nakeder. Or at least it better be. It beter not that bullshit some celebrities pull where they giggle and cover everything good with sheets or their hands or by standing behind something like this is a god damn Austin Powers movie.

Monday headlines, with magic heroes and bikinis!

By brendon July 18, 2011 @ 1:43 PM

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HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, PART 2 – basically broke every major box office record there is this weekend, including ‘first midnight showing’ ($43.5M), ‘opening day’ ($92.1M), ‘weekend: domestic’ ($168.5M), ‘weekend: worldwide’ ($475.5M), and ‘most malleable fanbase’. (mojo)

CASH CAB – is that game show where a taxi driver asks real customers trivia questions during their ride, and a producer for the Canadian version hit and killed a guy with the Cash Cab in Vancouver this weekend. Will he stick with one, or try and hit someone else and double his money? Find out after this break! (fox)

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE – has accepted the youtube invitation to the Marine Corps Ball with Cpl. Kelsey de Santis. Or at least he’ll go, “If my schedule works out.” And she’ll go if she hasn’t been shot to death. Leave it to Timberlake to find a way to say yes yet still look like a pretentious jackass. (cnn)

THE DARK KNIGHT RISESfinally has it’s teaser trailer officially online, over on it’s facebook page. It’s still not available in 1080 full-screen like most other trailers though, because Warner Brothers seems to think this bullshit is cute. (facebook)

THE AVENGERS – doesn’t come out until next year, but it has a teaser trailer (maybe meant only for Comic-Con, which begins Wednesday night) that has leaked online. But don’t get too excited because this a bootleg, and it’s terrible. It’s like he hid the camera in a glass of chocolate milk. (youtube, megaupload)

LAURA CROFT – hosted a pool party at the Flamingo hotel in Vegas this weekend, and all I know about her is that she was the Playmate in July of 2008, her ass is terrific, and she has the laziest fake Playboy name ever. (wenn)

Wednesday headlines, with naked Daisy Lowe

By brendon July 13, 2011 @ 4:13 PM

ED NORTON – is in talks to play the villain opposite Jeremy Renner in ‘the Bourne Legacy’, the new run of Jason Bourne movies that don’t have Jason Bourne in them. I would just call them Harry Potter movies, since apparently you can just call your movie whatever the hell you want these days. (vulture)

SHERLOCK HOLMES: A GAME OF SHADOWS – premiered it’s first trailer today, and you’ll be happy to see it’s got plenty of fighting and explosions. It’s Sherlock Holmes after all. Ya gotta have explosions. (apple)

TED DANSON – will be the new boss on ‘C.S.I.’, replacing Laurence Fishburne. Remember when Danson was in ‘Saving Private Ryan’? What the fuck was that all about? (la times)

DAISY LOWE – is gonna be in Playboy. It’s not really a stretch for Daisy (who you may remember is Gavin Rossdales 22-year-old daughter) because she’s a model who has already posed naked for two magazines. And also for the hidden camera I set up in her bathroom when I pretended to be the plumber. (daily mail. this would be a good time to follow me on twitter. hint hint. )

Crystal Harris is a complete bitch

By brendon June 15, 2011 @ 4:55 PM

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It’s hardly surprising that a 25-year-old model had ulterior motives when she got engaged to an 85-year-old media baron, but what is surprising is how far Crystal Harris was planning to go when it came to using Hugh Hefner (who, as you can tell by what would have been next months cover, had no idea what was coming).

Not only did she call off her engagement the same day that she released the first single off her debut record, and the same day she had a video go up on Funny or Die, and not only was she cheating on Hef with Dr. Phils son, but she was even shopping an interview to take place after she carried out her original break-up plan, which was to leave Hef at the alter.

Crystal Harris secretly planned to ditch the Playboy mogul at the altar in return for a $500,000 media deal, Page Six has learned.
Harris was shopping for a big-bucks deal to tell all after she ditched hapless Hef in front of 300 guests at their wedding at the Playboy Mansion on Saturday, to be filmed for a Lifetime TV special.
A source told us, “Crystal wanted to ditch Hef at the altar. Her plan was to walk up the aisle and say she couldn’t go through with it. The wedding was to be filmed for a reality special, and her refusal to marry him would be a sensation. She was looking for a tie-in deal of around $500,000 for the exclusive ‘I ditched Hef at the altar’ interview. While there was interest, Crystal didn’t get an offer anywhere near half a million.”

Wow. There’s cold and then there’s cold and then there’s this whore. I would try to shoot her but the evil bitch would probably just raise her arms and transform into a column of rats and then scurry away.