Karina Smirnoff is naked in Playboy, trouble

By brendon April 07, 2011 @ 6:38 PM

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It was definitely surprising when Hugh Hefner went on twitter yesterday and announced that Karina Smirnoff, who has been on Dancing With The Stars for 9 seasons, would be naked in the May issue of Playboy. He’s 400 years old. How the hell does he know how to tweet?

But it’s true, both things, and it seems like Karina didn’t really think this through. Popeater says…

“If Karina posed naked, she can kiss her dancing days goodbye,” a ‘DWTS’ insider told me. “I hope for Karina’s sake that this isn’t true.”
The immediate response of ABC is that having one of their dancers pose naked during an ongoing season could “soil” the wholesome show’s image.
“ABC publicity department controls the image of this show with an iron fist. It’s a cash cow and they are not going to allow its reputation to be soiled by a dancer who wants to do Playboy,” an ABC source tells me.
Aside from getting into hot water with family-TV fans and the network, I’m told that Karina may have violated the terms of her contract by posing without getting her bosses to sign off on it.

That seems pretty hypocritical considering they tart those girls up like Spanish whores, and because former Playmate Kelly Monaco was the champion of season 1, Pam Anderson was a contestant for season 10, and Kendra Wilkinson is a contestant this year.

But that’s too bad. Hypocritical or not, rules are rules and life is pointlessly unfair. Consider the fact that the word used to describe a lisp has the “sp” sound in it. That’s fucked up. It would be like if “stutter” was spelled “sta-sta-staa-ssss-stutter”.

(source for pics of smirnoff on turks and caicos last year = pacific coast)

JWoww wants to pose for Playboy again

By brendon February 17, 2011 @ 5:38 PM

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Back in September, JWoww was offered $400,000 to pose fully naked in Playboy. Amazingly, and I say that because I assume she’s kind of slutty, she turned it down.

But not for good, as it turns out. E! says…

“…I do feel like it’s a strong thing for women to do. And as long as they cover up certain parts, I’m good,” she laughed. “We have to cover up the vajajay cooka. And then it’s like, Why not? You see my boobs out half the time anyway.”

Yes, exactly. So what’s the point. It’s Playboy. If she’s not gonna take her clothes off, why bother. If strategically placed hands were so great, I could have spent my teens jacking off to ads for dishwashing liquid.

(image source = getty)

Julri Waters is here to help

By brendon December 10, 2010 @ 9:47 AM

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This isn’t actually about Hollywood or whatever, but a sexy reader named Nikki emailed the other day in hopes that I would do a post pleading with girls of all ages to get screened regularly for breast cancer. Because she did and now it will hopefully save her life (she has a blog about her treatment here).

Sensing an opportunity to show pictures of naked girls while pretending to be helpful, I agreed.

The pictures of course are of my beloved Julri Waters. She’s a 32G, so that seemed like a good way to illustrate why breast cancer is so evil, and why everyone should give money to organizations like Komen.

How she’s not the most popular model girl anything on earth is beyond me bc she’s everything girls are supposed to be; beautiful, short, big titted and Asian. Oh and she takes all her clothes off and let’s people take pictures of it. In this case Playboy. Actually, just Playboy. For lots of money. I don’t have any money but I asked anyway and suddenly she was too good to take her clothes off. Oh, well paarrddon me your highness. I’m sooo sorry for wanting to look at your vagina. I thought she was gonna be cool, ya know, I thought she was gonna be different, but no, she’s stuck up, just like the rest of them.

(picture source = playboy cyber club, Julri on facebook = here)

inviting Kelly Brook to parties is a good idea

By brendon November 19, 2010 @ 8:02 PM

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Kelly Brook was at the Playboy Energy Drink launch at the Funky Buddha in London last night in this fantastically tight dress, and apparently she got a short hair cut at some point. And, I’m as shocked as anyone, but HOLY SHIT does she look good. Girls always – ALWAYS – look better with long hair, but she looks great like this too. Of course, it’s Kelly Brook. Going from long hair to short on her is like going from a sterling silver Maybach to a sterling silver Maybach that’s low on gas.

Justin Timberlake cheated on Jessica Biel with Olivia Munn

By brendon October 27, 2010 @ 3:30 PM

olivia_munn_10 The new Us magazine says that Justin Timberlake banged Olivia Munn for three straight days this past September, and who could blame him for that, except of course his girlfriend Jessica Biel. Who probably, instead of congratulating him, will get all whiny about it.

Timberlake, 29, and Munn, 30, first met at a Sept. 26 MySpace event. After exchanging numbers, he “started chasing her immediately,” says an insider. Munn resisted his advances, telling him it was a no-go if he was still with Biel, 28. But Timberlake “has been telling people it’s over with Jessica, even though “the reality is he’s just doing it behind her back.” Believing he had left Biel and that her relationship with Timberlake might develop into something serious, Munn took him to her hotel, the Gansevoort Park Avenue NYC, Sept. 27 and 28, where “they were openly affectionate,” the insider adds. The insider tells Us the two “had amazing sex” that night.

If I ever get caught up in a lurid Hollywood sex scandal like this, I hope I have a source who says things like we had amazing sex. If they said, “Brendon mostly apologized and then cried,” you can see how that wouldn’t be quite as good.

its Playmates trying on sexy costumes

By brendon October 25, 2010 @ 2:27 PM

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Playmates Tiffany Jordan (blonde), Nicole Narain (brunette) and Christi Shake (red head) went costume shopping this weekend, perhaps to reinvent themselves as they run from their past. Or maybe for Halloween. I didn’t really read the fine print because I have a 100 degree fever today. Tell them to stop spinning around so I can whack off to one.