Uncle Terry Gets A Gig

By Matt July 14, 2014 @ 1:48 PM

Richardson

Playboy has contracted Terry Richardson to photograph an entire issue of their magazine. Playboy probably took this unusual step because Richardson is trending big in the news and their magazine business is more desperate than fourteen dudes standing around a keg in a South Bend winter talking about who gets more pussy. Playboy’s also letting the guy who melted his kid in the Home Depot parking lot right an op ed about Benghazi. Anyone who knows basic photography can take a photograph of a naked woman so in the field of cheesecake it becomes necessary to distinguish yourself in the marketplace of ideas involving tits and ass. Terry Richardson has achieved notoriety by racking up sexual assault allegations and publishing photos of himself jizzing on models. His primary talent is being related to his famous dad and being friends with the even more famous Lady Gaga. You may see this Playboy gig as a man being rewarded for very bad behavior. And you would be correct. You could protest Playboy and people might care, if you could make it 1965 again.

Photo Credit: Instagram, Terry Richardson

Terry Richardson Had None Sex With Lindsay Lohan

By Lex June 18, 2014 @ 3:28 PM

lindsay-lohan-at-the-chateau-marmont-terry-richardson-lb

With all the disturbing  allegations against Terry Richardson, the creepy fashion photographer wants to be clear on one thing: he didn’t bone Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay has made such suggestions in the past about post-shoot coitus.  Just because you made a few young models call you Uncle Terry while you shimmied your cock into their nooks and crannies shouldn’t subject you to the charge of copulation by Lohan.

Terry Richardson is on an ever sinking island of fetish shots and sex toys. While mindless celebrity boobs still have his back, his friends and peers are abandoning him for fear of being labeled a pedo-rapist-WMD co-conspirator:

I don’t want to be against these girls. Anyone who questions any of it is attacked with death threats – Dian Hanson, editor at Taschen

Nothing says honest debate like a death threat. Maybe it’s Dylan Farrow with a hatchet. A little catharsis would do her good.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson

Terry Richardson Is Accused Of Being Terry Richardson Again

By Matt June 16, 2014 @ 10:11 AM

Terry-Richardson-and-Lady-Gaga

Terry Richardson likes to whip out his dick to break the ice at photo shoots. Big whoop. The dude who used to photograph me at Sears so my mom could pretend I was handsome used to employ hand puppets that looked like vaginas. I’m not sure which is objectively creepier. Yet another model has accused Terry of pressing his dick up against her face during a modeling session. This while all the celebrities Terry shoots continue to stand by him as an artist and non-dick presser. It’s almost as if Terry knows that it’s not okay to assault Mariah Carey and Beyonce, but if he smooshes his junk up against a nineteen year old Russian import, he’s going to be fine. Go figure that wrinkle of super intelligence.

At some point, everybody in New York art circles decided that Terry’s amateurish porn shots were the height of hip. Just as quick as you can say desperate bandwagon, major magazines publishing articles about cool boots and gender equality started paying Terry big dollars to be the Ansel Adams of cheesecake shots. Will Vogue and GQ start taking any responsibility for Terry’s dickish behavior? Not while they’re still sucking.

Photo Credit: Splash News

Mariah Carey Showed Off Her Breasts And Kids For Terry Richardson

By Travis May 09, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Mariah and Terry 4

Now that her marriage to Nick Cannon is supposedly on the rocks, it’s time for Mariah Carey to turn the breast exposure up to 10 and let any 30-year old actors out there know that she’ll soon be single and looking to assist in boosting their careers, so long as they’re willing to sign a contract and maintain an image of love and happiness, no matter how transparent it may be. So the best person to help her do that is controversial photographer Terry Richardson, who was the man behind her recent shoot for Wonderland magazine. This time, Mariah made sure to pick out some sexy lingerie that not only accentuated her most prized assets, but she also brought her kids along to take what I’m sure will end up being her Christmas photo this year.

Photo Credits: Terry’s Diary

Terry Richardson Abides

By Lex May 01, 2014 @ 4:28 PM

Rita Ora Poses In A See Through Bra For Terry Richardson At His Studio
Any skeezy photographer worth his salt is going to shake off charges of improper groping and errant cum shooting on young subjects. If you can’t get past that kind of pro forma, you don’t belong in a business where you invite naive waifs into your apartments to make them famous with your camera. The allure of shooting with Terry Richardson is too hard to resist for many models and celebrities like Rita Ora looking to be part of the hip New York glamour set. The fact that the photos themselves tend to resemble the level of quality you’d find from a horny high school vice president of the photography club doesn’t seem to enter the equation. Everybody wants to flash their tits for Terry. Just so long as he keeps his here’s mud in your eye ejaculate blasts to the barely literate girls from Minsk, everybody’s cool.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson

Lindsay Lohan Wasn’t Chosen by Uncle Terry

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 2:25 PM

Lindsay Lohan Poses For Terry Richardson At His Studio In New York
When Lindsay Lohan heard the accusations that Terry Richardson had been lewdly assaulting certain of his model subjects in his photo studio, she ran right over to his place to confront him about why he never molested her. Obviously, it’s a delicate situation when one of your girls wants to know why Uncle Terry didn’t use their tampon for his famous tampon tea. Dylan Farrow can bitch all she wants about being diddled by her dad, at least she got validation. How do you think it makes all the other adopted daughters feel since they never got taken up into the attic for Broadway Danny Rose playtime? Woody felt so guilty he even married one of the fugly ones. Terry Richardson conceded to shoot Lindsay again while explaining to her that any man would have been lucky to have finished on her face before the drugs and alcohol took their natural toll. Lindsay seemed to calm down upon hearing that. Though as punishment she told Terry he’d have to get her a pistachio gelato if he wanted to shoot her cooch.

Photo Credit: Terry Richarson