Lindsay Lohan Wasn’t Chosen by Uncle Terry

By Lex April 01, 2014 @ 2:25 PM

Lindsay Lohan Poses For Terry Richardson At His Studio In New York
When Lindsay Lohan heard the accusations that Terry Richardson had been lewdly assaulting certain of his model subjects in his photo studio, she ran right over to his place to confront him about why he never molested her. Obviously, it’s a delicate situation when one of your girls wants to know why Uncle Terry didn’t use their tampon for his famous tampon tea. Dylan Farrow can bitch all she wants about being diddled by her dad, at least she got validation. How do you think it makes all the other adopted daughters feel since they never got taken up into the attic for Broadway Danny Rose playtime? Woody felt so guilty he even married one of the fugly ones. Terry Richardson conceded to shoot Lindsay again while explaining to her that any man would have been lucky to have finished on her face before the drugs and alcohol took their natural toll. Lindsay seemed to calm down upon hearing that. Though as punishment she told Terry he’d have to get her a pistachio gelato if he wanted to shoot her cooch.

Photo Credit: Terry Richarson

Terry Richardson Says He’s The Victim Of A Witch Hunt

By Travis March 14, 2014 @ 11:00 AM

Despite the fact that he seems to have no problem lining up photo shoots with the biggest male and female celebrities in the world, photographer Terry Richardson has always carried the reputation of being one of the biggest perverts in the game. Every now and then, random aspiring models or anonymous people slam him with accusations that he was a completely unprofessional scumbag during their shoots, and they want models to know what they’re getting into with him, despite the fact that we don’t ever hear a bad word about him from real celebrities.

Most recently, a former model named Charlotte Waters posted an anonymous retelling of her experience with Terry on Reddit, but removed it before she gave an interview to Vocativ. Among the things that she accused him of doing were running “his tongue up and down her bare ass, demanded she squeeze his balls, and even jacked off into her eye.” Next, Vocativ wrote, a successful current model came forward with another story but didn’t want to reveal her identity as she offered up her own pervert’s tale.

Terry has fired back at these accusers in a letter to Page Six, and he claims that he’s the victim of a witch hunt.

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Emily Ratajkowski Has Terry Richardson Stickers On Her Nips

By Lex January 06, 2014 @ 3:19 PM

Emily Ratajkowski Poses Topless With Stickers On Her Nipples For Terry Richardson
I’d like to get to a place in my life where models with big yabbos are putting stickers of my face on their nips. It seems like a strong position. Over New Year’s a weight challenged girl on Molly let me sign her left ass cheek with a felt tip. I’m getting close.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson

Terry Richardson Has Lost His Way

By Lex November 22, 2013 @ 2:55 PM

Brooke Candy Strips Down For Terry Richardson
It’d be easy to be jealous of Terry Richardson’s game. He plays that awkward goofy A/V club vice-president nonsense into tons of women getting naked in his loft. People call his photography simplistic and amateurish. I call it pretty fucking genius. Especially when he cashes $100K checks from GQ and Esquire because the happening celebrity chicks insist he shoot their pictorials. But just because you can get girls naked for your camera doesn’t mean you should get every girl naked for your camera. You need to self-awareness check your superpowers before Lady Gaga doppelganger Brooke Candy is shimmying out of her boxers and asking you to snap her titties. You’re not the desperate high school nerd anymore, Terry. You’ve got the power to be the dick. Bill Gates your life.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson

Madonna Makes More Money Than Gaga

By Lex November 20, 2013 @ 4:10 PM

Madonna Wears A Grill As She Heads Into LAX
Lady Gaga hates Madonna for being her before she was her. There’s also the fact that guys actually wanted to have sex with Madonna when she was in her 20′s, as opposed to begging Gaga to put on an Admiral Ackbar mask before coming into the bedroom. So it must be a bitter pill to swallow for Gaga to earn a paltry $80 million this past year while Madonna and her mega tour for European men in tight slacks raked in nearly $120 million. Expect Gaga to respond to her silver medal finish with an onslaught of catchy songs about her snatch and an art exhibit featuring her smeared feces on canvases stitched together by gay Filipinos displaced by typhoon Haiyan.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Terry Richardson/Harper’s Bazaar

Lady Gaga Remains A Rebel

By Lex November 15, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

Lady Gaga Is Photographed By Terry Richardson In A See Through Body Suit In Her Dressing Room
Lady Gaga struggled to seem counterculture last night in Times Square while executing a major H&M corporate promotion coordinated with the release of her ArtPop album.

It’s such a coup d’état for us to be in such a corporate environment.

Easy there, Che Guevara with the $200 million net worth and the private jet. I’m not sure Universal Music Group booking a retail co-promotion will go down in the annals of social revolution. Gaga explained how she can still be so anti-establishment while sucking up to major corporate interests by comparing herself to Andy Warhol:

“He took something corporate, Campbell’s soup, and turned it into art.”

By this I think Lady Gaga means she took Beyonce and Britney songs, maybe them a little more lesbian, than added a cup of water and made some tinny tasting soup. Or, she just name dropped Andy Warhol so New York Times reporters wouldn’t challenge her to explain what the fuck that just meant.

Photo Credit: Terry Richardson