The Howe Twins Do A World Cup Photo Shoot With Body Paint

By Lex June 20, 2014 @ 10:34 AM

The Howe Twins Do A World Cup Photo Shoot With Body Paint

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI, Splash

The Howe Twins In Lingerie Shooting A Music Video With Snoop Dogg

By Lex May 23, 2014 @ 10:49 AM

The Howe Twins In Lingerie Shooting A Music Video With Snoop Dogg

Photo Credit: The Howe Twins/Instagram

Howe You Doing? Get It, It’s the Howe Twins. Oh, Fuck Off

By Lex April 24, 2014 @ 4:29 PM

The Howe Twins Carla and Melissa Chesty Leaving The Chateau Marmont In Los Angeles
I’m not sure where the Howe Twins have been hiding of late. Perhaps they took the winter off to strategize and restructure their forces for another wave of trying to fuck themselves famous in Hollywood. I guess that seems harsh, but I wouldn’t say it about girls going to dental hygienist school. Everybody has a dream, some deserved to be mocked for theirs. When I was eight, I wrote in our class project that my dream was to ride a motorcycle to the moon. As moronic as that seems now, it still has a higher probability of success than The Howe Twins becoming big in Hollywood. It’s a fool’s errant to try and tit and ass your way to the top. Not that it hasn’t worked for a couple dozen noteworthy exceptions, it just doesn’t work almost all of the time. And, it’s almost completely arbitrary. Until you’re actually in this environment you can’t imagine how many good looking girls are up to the exact same scheme. It’s one thing to be the best forward on your AYSO team in a Lincoln, Nebraska suburb. it’s another to be the lead striker on the the junior champions team in Sao Paulo. The Howe Twins could be sought after Hobbit girls back in their British shire. But you want to try and out hustle a town full of hustlers. Good luck with that, ladies.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

The Howe Twins Still Digging for Gold

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

The Howe Twins At The Sunset Marquis 50th Anniversary Party
I’m sure some accomplished person once declared sticktoitiveness to be the key to success. The Howe Twins just refuse to give up on their dream of fucking their way famous in Hollywood. No slutty ambitious identicals with big fake tits want to go back to England with their tail between their chaffed legs lamenting over what might’ve been. Not when their Golden Ticket lies wrapped around the junk of a man probably within five miles of their motel room headquarters. When they finally uncover that shiny voucher to the good life, even Grandpa Joe’s going to get himself a rim job on the house.

Photo Credit: PCN, WENN

The Howe Twins Pretended To Be Angels

By Travis October 11, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The Howe Twins, Carla and Melissa, took a well-deserved and much-needed break from showing up to events in revealing outfits so they could partake in a photo shoot in the middle of New York City while dressed like slutty angels. A lot of people might look at these photos and think that they involved Victoria’s Secret, since they’re wearing lingerie and wings, but if Victoria’s Secret is a $5,000 Gucci handbag, then the Howe Twins are the $10 Pucci bag that you can buy from a street vendor set up 20 feet away from the cab in this photo shoot.

(Photo Credits:

The Howe Twins Take on Kandyland

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 2:40 PM

The Howe Twins In Their Bras For The Kandyland Party In Beverly Hills
I can’t help but feel the Howe Twins are spinning their wheels in their effort to fuck themselves famous in Hollywood. Lots of activity, very little progress. I wish I could get them in a room, sit them down, and really walk through a sensible, step by step strategy to attain their empty goal. Either that or tell them I’m a big movie producer and get a super twin hummer.

Here’s the Howe Twins at the Kandyland Party at the Playboy Mansion. Trying to stick out at a Playboy party by showing off your tits more than the next girl is the classic sign you lack a thoughtful marketing campaign.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN