The Howe Twins Still Digging for Gold

By Lex November 18, 2013 @ 4:22 PM

The Howe Twins At The Sunset Marquis 50th Anniversary Party
I’m sure some accomplished person once declared sticktoitiveness to be the key to success. The Howe Twins just refuse to give up on their dream of fucking their way famous in Hollywood. No slutty ambitious identicals with big fake tits want to go back to England with their tail between their chaffed legs lamenting over what might’ve been. Not when their Golden Ticket lies wrapped around the junk of a man probably within five miles of their motel room headquarters. When they finally uncover that shiny voucher to the good life, even Grandpa Joe’s going to get himself a rim job on the house.

Photo Credit: PCN, WENN

The Howe Twins Pretended To Be Angels

By Travis October 11, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The Howe Twins, Carla and Melissa, took a well-deserved and much-needed break from showing up to events in revealing outfits so they could partake in a photo shoot in the middle of New York City while dressed like slutty angels. A lot of people might look at these photos and think that they involved Victoria’s Secret, since they’re wearing lingerie and wings, but if Victoria’s Secret is a $5,000 Gucci handbag, then the Howe Twins are the $10 Pucci bag that you can buy from a street vendor set up 20 feet away from the cab in this photo shoot.

(Photo Credits:

The Howe Twins Take on Kandyland

By Lex August 20, 2013 @ 2:40 PM

The Howe Twins In Their Bras For The Kandyland Party In Beverly Hills
I can’t help but feel the Howe Twins are spinning their wheels in their effort to fuck themselves famous in Hollywood. Lots of activity, very little progress. I wish I could get them in a room, sit them down, and really walk through a sensible, step by step strategy to attain their empty goal. Either that or tell them I’m a big movie producer and get a super twin hummer.

Here’s the Howe Twins at the Kandyland Party at the Playboy Mansion. Trying to stick out at a Playboy party by showing off your tits more than the next girl is the classic sign you lack a thoughtful marketing campaign.

Photo Credit: Splash, WENN

The Howe Twins Hang Out With Sam Jones III

By Lex August 09, 2013 @ 2:36 PM

The Howe Twins Hang Out With Sam Jones III At The Supper Club In Hollywood
The Howe Twins continued drive to be plowed until famous in Hollywood took another wrong turn when somebody convinced them polishing the knob of Sam Jones III from Smallville was a solid game plan. Sam Jones was once on top of the D-list, playing Pete Ross, nailing Karissa Shannon in a sex tape (NSFW) and grabbing her titties in public all around town. Then all that success came crashing down when cops found 10,000 tablets of Oxy in his trunk. That’s not good. Sam only got a year in the klink when they determined he was too stupid to be the mastermind of anything. But he’s out now, and since the Howe Twins believed him when he said he was overseas for a year filming a gay karate love story with Ang Lee, he’s getting some twin trim. And the Howe sisters find themselves no closer to landing on the Get Fucking Famous space in the game of Life.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, WENN

The Howe Twins Got Sleeping Around Advice at Slumbering Playboy

By Lex August 05, 2013 @ 1:05 PM

The Howe Twins Leaving The Playboy Headquarters In Beverley Hills
The Howe Twins continue their quest to fuck their way to fame in Hollywood, visiting the headquarters of the failing Playboy Enterprises to develop a winning strategy. Within the walls of Playboy the ambitious girls learned such gems as ‘only go bareback for guys with network deals’, ‘don’t think Corey Feldman can help you in any way’, and ‘all the girls with reality shows go ass to mouth’. It was a lot for the girls to absorb, but you could see the confidence exuding from Carla and Melissa as they left the building, maneuvering around the repo men clearing furniture and the old man’s Ben Wa balls out of the Playboy offices.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, WENN

The Howe Twins Get Topless On Radio

By Lex June 28, 2013 @ 1:08 PM

The Howe Twins Get Topless On Playboy Radio In Burbank
The Howe Twins from England continue their unbridled attempt to fuck themselves famous in Hollywood. Their latest maneuver involved taking their tops off for Playboy Radio. I’m not sure these grading-curve busters understand the medium all that well. Or maybe somebody just pulled out a five dollar bill and they reacted instinctively. Either way I’d suggest the sisters regroup in the common room of their youth hostel and scratch their heads harder for the next big idea.

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin