Mariah Carey Confirms Her Beard

Rumors of Mariah Carey's relationship with her dance team member Bryan Tanaka were heretofore only rumors. Or technically a paid publicity campaign according to her Schedule C business write-offs. Carey officially confirmed the blatantly staged romance for the first time... read more

Aaron Carter Jumped By His Opening Act

Aaron Carter was jumped by a member of the band opening for him at a dive bar in Bradley, Illinois. If you were opening for Aaron Carter, you'd want to kill somebody too. It reflects poorly on your chances for that big label deal. read more

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Working Overtime to Fuck Up Their Kid

It's not been novel since Kramer vs. Kramer that dads might want to parent their kids even after divorce. Before 1980, the leased Porsche and Jordache jeans were the sole priorities. Even guys who never dug being dads have to put on the game face and fight for shared... read more

Advertisement
Fran Lebowitz Speaks Truth To Stupid

Fran Lebowitz is a cool writer but in certain situations merely being a homely woman gives her a license to state the obvious without being raked over the coals. She went around to a bunch of parties at Fashion Week and shit all over people who take themselves really... read more

Beyonce Musical Genius and the Bitchy Women at Fashion Week on the Last Men on Earth Podcast #77

On this week's Last Men on Earth Podcast, Matt and I and special guest Jake Dill from 98.7 L.A., radio, consider the economy crushing consequences of a Day Without Immigrants, ponder SI putting their chubby editor into a bikini to claim female empowerment, wonder why the... read more

Chrissy Teigen Gets Naked And Shit Around The Web

Chrissy Teigen is totally naked but for some strategically placed limbs. Gender equality dictates that Teigen doesn't have to take her clothes off to feel rewarded. It's less clear on how the pay works for clothed though. read more

Lena Dunham Bare Naked Beaver Yum Yum (Mr. Skin Minute VIDEO)

Because the Internet has everything, there exists a fan board somewhere for Lena Dunham fully exposed. No, not her uproarious but telling feminist social writings. Rather, her half sucked Tootsie Pop human form bereft of any clothing. read more

Len Wiseman's New Chick Seems More Naked Than the Last One

There's no doubt that a decent segment of Trump hate is rooted in his trading up of wives for younger models during his middle yearsrun. Many of these same anger management cases tolerated the far more conservative Bushes because they had long standing marriages to sweet... read more

Bella Hadid Won Fashion Week

Breathless female bloggers love to employ the term "won" in headlines to describe some celebrity chick wearing a funky heart hat on Valentine's. She won Valentine's. It doesn't make sense, unless you've never played sports and your dad not so secretly always wished you... read more

Kim Kardashian Dissecting Kanye

You can't turn out a good man. A confused man, far easier. The Kardashians choose male partners of notoriety and means, not of masculine character. Inherently, any man who signs up to be run by a bubble-butted midget is a gender fail. read more

Serena Williams Mouthwatering

It's inspiring when a high school gets together and nominates the girl with Down Syndrome to be the prom queen. Prom queen is an idiotic title without any depth of meaning beyond the girl most people want to hate fuck. Serena Williams isn't a disabled teen. read more

Gwyneth Paltrow Surrounded By Hacks

Gwyneth Paltrow's website Goop appears to have become a common online gathering area for people who nobody likes. When you're never invited to dinner or out for a drink or to otherwise leave your McMansion you gravitate towards buying eighty dollar tubs of skin cream. read more