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Everybody’s favorite piece of shit human being in the entire world, Fred Phelps, finally died yesterday many, many years beyond how long he actually deserved to live. The founder of the Westboro Baptist Church carved his place in society... READ MORE

Fuck, we might as well concede. The interplanetary rectum invaders trading under the earthbound 138 Water DBA have conned our porn stars into working for them. You don’t just pull the Jedi Mind Trick on the intellectual powerhouse that... READ MORE

They’re pretty nice, but for some reason Naya Rivera, that chick on Glee whose character had a boob job, is denying the presence of foreign intervention on what looks to be a suddenly much larger chest. I only know... READ MORE

Far be it from me to criticize modern feminism. But much of it seems to eerily reminiscent of old fashioned whoring. You can slap the female empowerment tag on it, but it still seems pretty vagina transactional. Like the... READ MORE

Lindsay Lohan fired her sobriety life coach Michael Cormier the second after the cameras stopped rolling on her OWN reality show. Cormier was assigned to follow the light to moderate-light drinking Mean Girls star and make sure that she stayed sober and out... READ MORE

It used to be that when Argentineans fled to Miami, there was some kind of Nazi manhunt underway. Now it’s just swimsuit models with sweet asses in thongs on the beach. I’m not implying that’s worse, just less interesting.... READ MORE

Flamboyant ice skater Johnny Weir and his husband Victor Voronov are getting gay divorced after a couple years of fabulous marriage. The triple toe-looping star released a statement saying that he and Voronov have not been happy for a while and... READ MORE

Kanye West announced he has a new song in the works just for his fair bride at their Big French Wedding in May. The working title is (Tap That) Sugar Bear Bitch or something similarly romantic. Just imagine Yeezus... READ MORE

Charlize Theron still looks pretty good. Sean Penn must be better at tempering his rage when he learns nobody is watching Ronan Farrow on MSNBC or Guantanamo inmates are not being permitted to watch Buzkashi matches in high definition.... READ MORE