John Hughes just died

John Hughes, the writer and director who is mostly well known for era-defining crap like "Sixteen Candles" and "the Breakfast Club", not to mention the "Home Alone" movies, died today of a heart attack at the age of 59. But I'm not here to trash the dude, because he also... read more

Victoria is the new Paula

I'm completely unapologetic when it comes to Victoria Beckham. That bitch is hot, and I would very much like to have sex with her. Some people disagree. Those people are wrong and/or queer. So needless to say if she ended up as the new judge on American Idol, I would... read more

Dr Phil molested some woman

A 44-year-old mom named Sara Morrison claims that Dr. Phil fondled and sexually abused her when she was a college sophomore who saw him as a patient in 1984. But in a new interview, she says the years have brought forgiveness and even sympathy. "Dr. Phil is a monster!"... read more

Lindsay Lohan is helpful

This mysterious strangers' identity was once thought to be an unsolvable mystery, but it turns out it's Lindsay Lohan. She probably thought she was hiding but in reality she looks way better like this. She should cover her alligator skin and dumb blond hair as much as... read more

Being Leo DiCaprio looks fun

Leonardo DiCaprio is single these days, and that can only mean one thing. Whores. In this case Spanish ones as he and some friends spend some time on the beaches of Ibiza. To be honest these whores are kind of ugly, but they're all probably millionaire models, so that's... read more

Good riddance jackass

Oh holy crap finally. Finally, finally, Paula Abduls dumb ass is off "American Idol", saying on her twitter page 11 hours ago: With sadness in my heart, I've decided not to return to Idol. I'll miss nurturing all the new talent, but most of all I'll miss being a part of... read more

By popular demand

Many were wondering if there was an mp3 version of the NAS and Nick Cannon song from this video yesterday, because NAS is a victim of his own talent and accidentally gave the music he was trying to make fun of an infectious beat. God only knows why people assumed I would... read more

Melrose Place is gonna suck

The cast of the the new "Melrose Place" has been gathered for the first time to present them to the media, and, um ... really? If your plan is to get a bunch of sexy girls, and Ashlee Simpson is the hottest one, your plan has gone horribly wrong. You could get hotter... read more

Afternoon Headlines

RIHANNA - will request a less restrictive restraining order against Chris Brown tomorrow when he is formally sentenced for assaulting her. The current order demands he stay at least 50 yards away at all times. The new order would drop that, and state that he merely not... read more

God Jennifer Aniston sucks

Jennifer Aniston is on the cover of this months Ellle magazine, and you may find this hard to believe, but during the interview she brings up her love life and lays out why you should feel sorry for her, then says she doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. I don't... read more

Hambone hambone hambone, yeah!

If Nick Cannon and NAS wanted this to be a really good PSA, they probably shouldn't have made the racist song so incredibly catchy. It's one of the best beats I've heard all summer. "Eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon, eat dat watermelon - SHO IS GOOD!" No, don't... read more

Afternoon Headlines

JESSICA BIEL - made her stage debut this weekend in the musical "Guys and Dolls". That's her above singing "If I Were A Bell". But her run was just for three nights. I hope she does more performances next week. Because while she was doing that, I could break into her... read more