Greg Giraldo has died

By brendon September 29, 2010 @ 6:59 PM

Greg Giraldo was such an uncommonly smart and funny comic, it was actually sort of depressing, in a “why can’t I do that” sort of way. A graduate of Columbia University and Harvard Law, he was best known for his stand-up, as a judge on ‘Last Comic Standing’, and for the Comedy Central Roasts (and maybe this spoken word song from 2006 that got some decent time on radio). He died today after an overdose of prescription meds at the age of 44. His friend and fellow comic Jim Norton was the first to report the news with an announcement on his twitter.

Though he had a long and well documented history with drugs and alcohol, his death is being considered accidental. And hopefully it will stay that way. Hopefully it won’t be cocaine or something. Because Giraldo was cool, and he had cool stories. If you don’t want people doing coke, you probably shouldn’t make it sound like so much fun.

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Tom Cruise is a pro

By brendon September 29, 2010 @ 4:46 PM

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Tom Cruise is in Prague today for the first day of filming on ‘Mission Impossible 4’, which is surprising because yesterday he was in Tokyo for the Japanese premiere of ‘Knight and Day’. That flight has to be, like, 200 miles (I’m not good with numbers). Even if they went 70 the whole way it had to take all night.

Tom Cruise has his faults, he’s crazy for example, but at least when you hire that guy you get a professional. A guy who goes to work and doesn’t make excuses. Keep in mind this is an actor we’re talking about, and 95 percent of all actors are fragile sissies. Jim Carey could see a red car or get an ice cream headache and you might as shut down production because you’re not filming shit for 6 months.

BREAKING NEWS: Lindsay would prefer rehab over jail

By brendon September 29, 2010 @ 2:42 PM

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A few weeks ago, Lindsay Lohan had 90 days in rehab standing between her and freedom. “Fuck this,“ she said, and then promptly tricked the doctors into letting her go 68 days early. Then of course she did some more coke, and now rehab might be the only thing keeping her out of jail again.

Hey you’ll never guess who suddenly thinks they should stay in rehab for as long as it takes.

A source (meaning her mom because Lindsay has no friends) tells Radar…

“Lindsay is still being assessed by her treatment team but the team is saying that she should spend at least 45 days getting in-patient treatment. It’s going to take her body at least 30 days to get the substances out of her system.”
“Her body needs to do a lot of healing.”

Just for fun let’s revisit the current issue of Vanity Fair

Lohan adamantly denies rumors of drug abuse.
“If I were the alcoholic everyone says I am, then putting a [SCRAM] bracelet on would have ended me up in detox from all the things that people say I’m taking—so that says something, because I was fine.”

Well no wonder she demanded an apology….

According to Lindsay Lohan’s latest medical report, the actress was not addicted to cocaine.
Now she wants some form of apology or compensation from the courts.
“Lindsay is fuming – she is really upset that the courts put her through all this,” the source (wwtdd editors note: there’s that source again!) said.

Anyway. Let’s not live in the past. All those things happened days or even weeks ago. If she stops doing drugs, why should she go to jail? That’s how the law works right? If you’re not currently engaged in a crime then there’s no problem right?

“Lindsay is required to be at the hearing (on October 22nd for violating her probation). At that point, if Lindsay is making improvements, Lindsay’s team would ask Judge Fox to not put her in jail at all, or defer her sentence until she is finished with her in-patient treatment,” the source added.

In case you missed it: “…ask Judge Fox to not put her in jail at all…

“The fact is jail doesn’t scare Lindsay. Before she did her time earlier this summer, she was petrified. Having spent time behind bars, it doesn’t have that effect on her. Jail isn’t a deterrent for her, period,” the insider said.

For the record, Lindsay should still be in jail for another 15 days to fulfill the 90 day sentence she was given on July 20th. Remember that? Remember when the judge sent her to jail for 90 days and 13 days later the sheriff let her out? Yeeaah. Awesome, right?

But she’s not scared by jail, huh? Well knock me down with a feather, I wonder why not? She must be one tough lady!

Laura Vandervoort is an awesome Supergirl

By brendon September 29, 2010 @ 12:54 PM

SMALLVILLE

According to wikipedia, ‘Smallville’ is still on the air, and in fact began it’s 10th season earlier this week. That seems hard to believe, but either way, the CW sent out some new pictures of Laura Vandervoort looking fantastic as Supergirl. She looks so good I wanna watch the show now. Is there a show?  Is this thing seriously still on the air? What the hell is the CW anyway? She looks like Charlize Theron, is she related to Charlize Theron? Why do dogs have wet noses?  20 dollars!? Do you think that girl over there would go out with me?

So many questions. Life is full of mysteries, my friend. 

Emma Watson is a good classmate

By brendon September 29, 2010 @ 11:44 AM

Emma Watson

Emma Watson is back in Rhode Island to begin her second year at Brown, and though her dykey hair cut is repulsive (it’s Daniel Tosh with tits), I would still have sex with her because she’s Hermione. How can you not bang Hermione? If we were in class together, I’d be all like, “Hey. Hey Hermione. So you like magic wands, huh? You like those? Magic wands? Yeah, well I got a magic wand for you right here baby.” And then I’d point to my crotch just in case she didn’t get it. And then she’d get all turned on and we’d do it.

NOTE: the “magic wand” is my penis

(image source = inf daily)

Tuesday night headlines

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 9:01 PM

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MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 4 – has added Josh Holloway from ‘Lost’ to the cast as a member of Tom Cruises team. His characters specialty is on missions where being really really handsome helps in some way. (hollywood reporter)

BRAD PITT – was always thought to be the only choice to play Professor Moriarty in the ‘Sherlock Holmes’ sequel, but today the role was given to Jared Harris, the son of legendary actor Richard Harris (here he is as a prisoner on ‘Fringe’.) It’s a terrible choice. If this guy was any good he’d be famous. Thanks for ruining the movie, dick. I swear to God you’re gonna pay for this! (latino review)

TRUE GRIT – has a new trailer. Can anything look better than a remake of the great John Wayne movie, directed by the Coen Brothers and starring Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin? Yes, as it turns out. Lots and lots of things. (quicktime)

BRITNEY SPEARS – did some shopping around West Hollywood in these kick ass shorts. For a bra you might ask? Nope. Apparently not.

Lindsay Lohan has entered rehab. For the 6th time.

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 4:46 PM

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Officially Lindsay Lohan has been in 4 different drug rehabs (she checked into Wonderland on 1.17.07, Promises on 3.28.07, Cirque Lodge on 8.6.07, and UCLA on 8.2.10) but it’s 5 if you count when she entered Pickford Lots on 6.15.10, just before appearing before a judge after violating probation.

Oh, hey, while we’re on the subject of going through the motions to trick a judge…

“A source tells X17 that Lindsay Lohan checked into a rehab center in Southern California late last night.”

It’s not clear what rehab she’s in, but it doesn’t matter because it’s not gonna work. Does she even know these places are rehabs? ‘Wonderland’ and ‘Cirque’ both sound like rave bars where everyone would be on ecstasy, ‘Promises’ sounds a spa, and ‘UCLA’ sounds like it would be nonstop drinking.

And since it won’t matter, let’s reminisce and stare at her naked in New York magazine, since that’s the only thing she’s good for these days. Her only value to society is as a life support system to a pair of awesome tits.

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You would cry too if you had to see Knight and Day

By brendon September 28, 2010 @ 3:15 PM

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Like a dark ominous cloud over the sea rolling in the from the west, ‘Knight and Day’ had it’s Japanese premiere in Tokyo earlier today.

Tom Cruise scared some little kids (“Why his crothes so tight? No I no want see, he rook rike pervert!!”) but thanks to things like Gamera and Pokemon, Japanese kids think ugly monsters are friendly and here to protect them, so when Cameron Diaz arrived, she turned those frowns upside down.