NO ONE LIKES KATIE HOLMES OR SOMETHING

By brendon August 22, 2008 @ 8:33 AM

Katie Holmes is just beginning her first run on Broadway in the Author Miller play, "All My Sons".  It stars John Lithgow, Dianne Wiest, Patrick Wilson and Katie, and it’s about a guy selling defective plane parts in WWII, yet for some reason Katie is the one getting blamed for poor ticket sales.  MSNBC says…

One needs to look no further than the successes of “A Chorus Line” and “Spamalot” for proof that celebrities sell Broadway tickets, but in the case of “All My Sons,” that rule might not necessarily apply.
Ticket sales for the show, which stars Katie Holmes and Patrick Wilson, are thus far “definitely off from what the production hoped,” according to a source close to “Sons.” It’s hard to know what exactly is to blame.
“You can’t say it’s the economy,” says the source, “because there are shows, like ‘Mamma Mia’ that are selling out.” One possibility bandied about is that audiences are too nostalgic for Holmes’ “Dawson’s Creek” persona to clamor for tickets. “It’s not that Katie’s bad in the part. She’s good enough. The producers are just getting the feeling people still want to view Katie as sweet little Joey Potter.”

WTF are they talking about?  It’s a drama about dead kids and romance and airplane parts.  This shit is boring, that’s not Katie’s fault.  Put her in a play called "Tits Ahoy" if you wanna sell some tickets.

YOU CAN MEET AUDRINA FOR $4,250

By brendon August 22, 2008 @ 6:22 AM

The website charityfolks.com has an auction up where you can bid on a dream vacation to LA for the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards.  You get to walk the red carpet, attend the VMAs and even meet Audrina from "the Hills".  Be still my heart.

Be a true VIP when you experience the glitz and glamour of the MTV Video Music Awards & After Party in Los Angeles on September 7, 2008!  Stay in the heart of downtown LA in a Huge Room at The Standard, Downtown LA, meet some of your favorite stars and more!  This once-in-a-lifetime package includes:
* 2 Tickets to the VMA Awards
* 2 Tickets to the Ultra-Exclusive VMA After Party
* Walk Down the Red Carpet
* Meet and Greet with Audrina from The Hills
* 3 Night Stay in a Huge Room at The Standard, Downtown LA

Wow that really would be a dream vacation.  As it turns out, my dream is to wander anonymously amongst people who don’t know or like me.  I was gonna travel back in time to relive four years of high school, but this seems much more practical.

SPORTY GOT KNOCKED UP

By brendon August 22, 2008 @ 6:07 AM

Melanie Chisholm, way better known as Sporty Spice, is pregnant with her first child.  She and her boyfriend for the past 6 years made the announcement on her website.  People magazine says…

"Some happy news," she wrote. "I can now announce that Tom and I are expecting a baby and we are very happy."  Baby buzz building began last week, when Chisholm wore a baggy dress during a show in Liverpool last week.

Sometimes I feel like People magazine is just fucking with me.  Did it?  Did “baby buzz” start to build last week when she wore a baggy dress in Liverpool?  Is that how it went?   Because if anything baby related gets you attention, expect Paris Hilton to take pictures of hers one day inside a pentagram of its own blood.

TILA TEQUILLA IS STILL PRETENDING

By brendon August 22, 2008 @ 12:54 AM

I really hope her fake lesbian relationship with Courtenay Semel gets Tila Tequila the attention she so desperately craves.  If this doesn’t work she may have to run through a mall on fire or join al qaeda.

(way way more of these over on celebuzz.  picture source = splash news/ tom vickers)


GWEN HAD A BOY

By brendon August 21, 2008 @ 7:21 PM

As expected, Gwen Stefani gave birth to a baby boy at 12:46pm today in Los Angeles.  People magazine says…

Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale was born at 12:46 p.m. and weighed 8 1/2 lbs. He joins the couple's other son Kingston, who turned 2 in May.
"Kingston, Gwen and Gavin Rossdale welcomed the newest member of their family," they say in a statement. "Mother, baby and family are all happy and healthy.

Zuma Nesta Rock?  Well at least he won’t have a lot of pressure, growing up as the kid of two super famous parents.  With a name like that he’s anonymous, practically invisible.

EVERYONE LOVES SIENNA MILLER

By brendon August 21, 2008 @ 12:42 PM

Splash News says that Sienna Millers' house was vandalized when someone spray painted the word “SLUT” and what might be a pentagram on the wall of her London home.  Miller, who apparently lives in a walk-in freezer, has been dating Balthazar Getty, who is married with 4 kids.  No motive is known, but police think it might be because she's a slut.



MICHAEL PHELPS IS F’N AMAZING

By brendon August 21, 2008 @ 9:31 AM

Billy Bushs indomitable spirit brings joy to America's heart, but he may have just made an enemy in Samantha Ronsom.  She’s met him, probably thought she knew him, but nothing would prepare her for what would happen next.  Access Hollywood says…

Back in Athens in 2004, we asked Michael which Hollywood celebrity he’d most like to meet.
“Lindsay Lohan,” he told us then. “She’s pretty hot.”
Well, Billy Bush reached out Lindsay for messages to Michael during the Beijing games.
Earlier in the week, Lindsay told Billy to tell Michael, “Good Luck.”
So what did Lindsay tell Billy today to say to Michael, following his 8th gold medal win?
“Tell him he’s (expletive) amazing, and I want to meet him.”

Yeah Lindsay is gonna hit that.  She watched him do that butterfly kick underwater and hatched her plan right then.  She hasn’t gotten any in months, so try not to stare if you see her next week with a cold Bud Light can pressed against her crotch.

GWEN IS FINALLY GIVING BIRTH

By brendon August 21, 2008 @ 9:00 AM

Gwen Stefani might be an elephant.  She’s been carrying this kid for at least a year, maybe 2, but InTouch is reporting that today is finally the day.  Today Gwen checked into Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles and is scheduled to give birth via C-section at 10 a.m. PT.

"Gwen's so excited to have this baby because she gained a lot of weight during this pregnancy," her pal reveals to In Touch. "She is ready to meet her new baby and get her body back."

Between her two kids and Cindy Crawfords two and Angelina’s three, it's like we're on the dawn of a new master race of beautiful people, as the prophecy at my birth foretold.

(picture source = INF daily)