Halle Berry was almost eaten by a shark

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 6:35 PM

43125PCN_HalleDarkTide

That headline is a lie, but Halle Berry is off Seal Island in South Africa for a shark movie called ‘Dark Tide’, and while filming today a Great White breached and ripped apart a seal decoy. Angry and with a growing hunger, it then disappeared back into the thing Halle has her foot in.

(heres a bigger copy of the first breach pic. you can even see the film they cover their eyes with just before an attack. other two pictures here and here. source = pacific coast news)

Snooki was arrested today for public drunkenness

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 5:16 PM

Nicole Polizzi, Snooki, Snookie

Even at her best Snooki looks like someone just drew a face on a thumb, but today the lucky residents of Seaside Heights in New Jersey got to see regular Snooki and drooling Snooki in handcuffs and with her diaper riding up to expose her ass. Because she was so drunk this afternoon she got arrested for public intoxication while filming season 3 of ‘Jersey Shore’. People says…

(She is) expected to be charged with disorderly conduct.
“She didn’t hurt anyone or get in a fight,” says the source. “She just needs to be in a drunk tank for two hours.”

She’s so ugly in this picture, it’s hard to even look away. It’s like those movies where kids try to hide a creature by putting a hat on it. If you printed that picture and put it under someones house, they would all die.

(source = splash news online and inf)

Lindsay Lohan continues to humiliate herself

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 4:14 PM

lindsay_lohan_underground_comedy

It seemed impossible, but Lindsay Lohan has sunk even lower into the gutter, because just before she went to jail, and while she still had her SCRAM bracelet on, she filmed a scene for the Underground Comedy Movie, directed by and starring Vince the Sham Wow Guy.

Read more >

Tara Reid forgot something

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 2:08 PM

axe boat party 300710

Tara Reid got drunk and exposed her vagina in a brand new location last night, this time in Saint-Tropez, France, which is exciting news unless you know who Tara Reid is. For the rest of us, the only way these could be any less of a turn on is if she started peeing. The only winner here was the panties she took off and threw away.

(source = wenn)

tyler has sexy readers (but no vote this week)

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 2:00 PM

brooke

So I used to post scandalous pictures of the sexy readers on facebook before the 500 dollar contest thing on Friday (details here), but facebook is run by nerds who have spent their lives with hot girls never ever having sex with them, and yesterday they exacted their revenge by shutting our page down. I wasted tons of time arguing with them this week. It screwed up everything.

But whatever. All that matters for now is that sexy reader Brooke does this thing where she pulls her panties down to the point where you swear you’re gonna see kitty, it’s impossible she’s still managing to cover herself, yet somehow she does. Does she even have a kitty? If someone stripped an action figure and tricked me I’m gonna be outraged. I just want to masturbate to pictures of headless teen girls, there’s no need to rob me of my dignity.

(WARNING – she’s not naked in any of the pics after the jump, but they’re still probably NSFW)

Read more >

Laurence Fishburnes teen daughter does porn now

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 1:31 PM

Unless Laurence Fishburne is a huge fan of the 1990 Wilson Phillips hit ‘Impulsive’, he probably won’t want to watch this video of his 19-year-old daughter Montana announcing that she’s doing porn now. Because “porn” is those movies where men and women have sex. Also because there’s two dudes with Montana, one is terrifying and the other looks like he came here on a spaceship, and they probably banged her.

Read more >

JLo and Steven Tyler are the new American Idol judges

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 11:24 AM

american_idol_judges

Bored indifference is sweeping the nation today because there’s been a series of reports, breaking one after another, about the new judges panel for American Idol.

First Ellen DeGeneres announced on her twitter she was leaving after just one year, then Kara DioGuardi was fired so the show could go back to the original format of 3 judges instead of 4, then Deadline Hollywood announced Jennifer Lopez has been hired, then they said Steven Tyler had been offered the final spot to join Lopez and Randy Jackson.

In other words the show will still suck and rarely ever succeed at its stated goal, and now it’s gonna look even weirder. A fat black guy, and old man, and a Puerto Rican girl in skin tight outfits. They’re gonna look like a sci-fi tribunal. They could critique bad singing or sentence General Zod to the Phantom Zone. Either one.

the Other Guys

By brendon July 30, 2010 @ 3:06 AM

theotherguys_2

……………………………. SPONSORED POST ……………………………

In ‘The Other Guys’, Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are average NYPD cops who have to step up and fill in for supercops Dwayne Johnson and Samuel L. Jackson. It’s a daunting challenge, one it turns out they’re not prepared to handle, because Johnson and Jackson are way better than they are.

That’s why you should always set the bar nice and low. Don’t aim high in life. It’s too hard and it takes forever. Unless you’re Tony Stark don’t even bother to ask out Bar Rafaeli, because you’d be replacing Leonardo DiCaprio, and he’s way better than you. I’d rather find a celebrity who dates guys who are beneath her. Because I am too and otherwise I’d have no chance.

Marisa Miller
The worlds hottest supermodel and she’s been married to this doofus for 4 years. Griffin Guess.
PRO: Even Griffin Guess has never heard of Griffin Guess.
CON: Might not take the hint. Might not leave. It’s 2010 and he still wears a fauxhawk. You can’t hurt someones pride if they don’t have any.

Vanessa Minnillo
Still only 29, still looks great and she’s dated Nick Lachey for the past 4 years.
PRO: He has to be broke by now. For 100 dollars he’d probably box a kangaroo at the state fair. Even better, in 2006, Jessica Simpson reportedly said he was so small she could barley feel anything during sex. After 4 years Vanessa has probably sealed back up. She’s gonna look and feel brand new, there won’t be a scratch on her.
CON: Nothing. Not one. The only test this tubby loser could beat me in is a water displacement one.