Top Model Shauna Sand continued her assault on Americas eyes last night when she went to One Sunset dressed essentially in lingerie and a little coat. She promptly took the coat off of course. And who could blame her. She looked so stuffy all bundled up like that. I thought she was like a banker or something.
Hugh Hefner must be some kind of daredevil because his health is failing him these days and yet he actually touched that jenga of disease in the bunny ears at her Easter party on Sunday. That's got disaster written all over it, you might as well push a hemophiliac into a briar patch.
I think this is some kind of parody because I logged on to all 11 of my internet matchmaking sites and Lindsay wasn’t on any of them. But I made good use of my time and updated my profile to take out the part about how, “I love being surprised with TS’s”. I thought that stood for “tenderness and smooches”, but a lot of transsexuals got the wrong idea. Also a mistake to put my home address on there, as it turns out.
Early this morning, a spokesperson for a Russian singer named Oksana Kolesnikova followed Mel Gibson in issuing a public statement denying that they (Oksana and Mel, not the spokesperson and Mel) were having an affair. He told TMZ:
"Somehow Oksana is being linked to Mr. Gibson, but there are no emotional ties between the two that I am aware of. Oksana has in the past entertained Mr. Gibson with her piano music as he dined at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel … Oksana is not romantically involved with Mr. Gibson"
The reason they've had to make denials is maybe because Fame Pictures ran images of them together, day after day after day, on a movie set in Boston, roughly 2900 miles from the piano at the Polo Lounge in the Beverly Hills Hotel. Maybe she also plays the flute (*wink*).
Last summer, Fame Pictures captured exclusive images of Gibson with a woman named Oksana. Fame photographers witnessed several key facts validating a romantic relationship between Gibson and this woman. As Gibson would arrive on set every morning at 6:30am, his personal car would return to the Ritz-Carlton and pick up Oksana at 9am. Each day, with discretion, Oksana would enter Mel's trailer and stay for the rest of the day. When the actor's standard one-hour lunchtime came, the pair would stay in the trailer for up to 2 hours together. At the end of the day's shoot, Gibson and Oksana would leave in the same car together and return to The Ritz-Carlton. After filming broke for the weekend, Gibson and Oksana flew privately together on Gibson's Signature plane and returned to LA. The two flew alone and there were no other friends or assistants on board.
Good. Good for him. I hope he bangs Oksana and her hot name and sexy accent right in front of that miserable greedy fucking wife of his. Mel Gibson is a big star, and his awful black-hearted wife had an army of kids. Her vagina must look like someone picked her up by it and swung her around in circles.
Melanie Griffith was in Spain yesterday with her husband Antonio Banderas for Easter, and it may seem weird to watch a parade dressed like a wicked queen who poisons apples in a fable about talking mice and magic, but Melanie Griffith is dangerously crazy, so in that sense it's perfectly logical. If you think for one second that she’s not slightly more crazy than the homeless guy in the park yelling at demons, than you've clearly never entered the magic door to her website. It's like fairies are trying to get into your pants or something.
What sexual predator decided that the press is allowed to shove their camera up a girls skirt as long as the girl is famous? How can that be? Can they chop off locks of her hair and sell it too? Is that any worse than this? It's not like Jessica Simpson is 30-feet-tall – she could double in size and still bathe in the sink – and yet here are pictures of her essentially naked ass yesterday on the way to Easter brunch. You can't even tell it's an ass. It could just as easily be a fat kids arm, or a close-up of a muppets face.
After 28 years of marriage, Mel Gibsons wife Robyn has filed for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences." It is said they have been essentially separated for two and a half years, beginning around the time of his 2006 drunk driving arrest. And now he is going to get raped by the state of California, which seriously might be the worst fucking place on earth.
Sources tell us there is no prenuptial agreement — they were married in 1980, before Mel Gibson amassed a fortune estimated at $900 million back in 2006. Under the laws of California, community property — which includes earnings — is divided 50/50. Robyn is also asking for spousal support and attorneys fees.
What kind of an evil bitch asks for $450,000,000, AND alimony AND attorneys fees. $44,000 for every day she was married. Not enough? He should just kill her. What’s a good rope cost, 8 dollars? He could spend 200 million dollars on his defense and still save 249,999,992 dollars. Was she tied to a GD tree for 28 years, or was she living a life of opulence and luxury, while Mel was out actually earning the money. WTF is wrong with California? How is this fair? Why not make him dance around in his underwear at a Lakers game too, or seal him in a metal trashcan with a bunch of bottle rockets.
LeAnn Rimes went on the Today this morning to promote her new biography, and she wasn’t shy about addressing her megastardom and the pressures of life inside an unrelenting media spotlight. In fact she made those things up just so she could address them.
"I think people are fascinated with my personal life. And I totally get it." “I get to write books like this and write songs like this and affect people's lives. And I think through the song 'What I Cannot Change,' having touched so many people, that's what I believe I'm here to do.” “it's been tough … to make that transition from child star to an adult, but I've been one of the very few, very small percentage that.”
I like to think she was being sarcastic, but it doesn’t seem like she was, which is amazing because I could only offer the vaguest guess as to who she is and what she does. And if I guessed and you said no, she’s a figure skater or she used to be on Party of Five, I would say oh yeah I remember now. She might be one of the most forgettable people on earth, totally average in every way. I’m looking directly at her right now and I can still only sorta describe her. I guess she has a … face, and a … vest. And there’s a string on a tree behind her. It’s green.