victoria silvstedt is easily relaxed

By brendon October 05, 2009 @ 9:25 AM

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Former Playmate of the Year and current professional prostitute Victoria Silvstedt was on the beach in St Tropez this weekend, and she seemed to think that was as good a place as any to masturbate. But she’s always been this way. And by “this way”, I mean, “awesome”. After the jump are 17 pictures of some guy going down on her on a pier in July of 2006, and here (1,2,3) are pictures of her with no pants on, masturbating on a hotel balcony.

Really the question is why wouldn’t you masturbate on the beach if you were a hot girl. Stop being so stuck up.  If guys could masturbate with no residual effects to worry about, the world would essentially come to a stop. My penis would have grooves worn into it from all the abuse. I would have a 4.000,000 – 0 record against my penis.

(35 more here. hq jump here. image source = fame and splash)

Gillian Jacobs is a good dancer

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 7:25 PM

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The new NBC show ‘Community’, starring the great Joel McHale, is actually pretty funny, but comedy is subjective, so let’s instead focus on something that everyone loves: hot young topless girls. Thankfully ‘Community’ star Gillian Jacobs also had a big part in the movie ‘Choke’.

She played a character who initially had her top on. Then, as a series of events foretold in the prophecy begin to come true, we watch as her characters changes, to a girl with her top off. “The scenes twist ending is a shock to the senses that left me breathless,” said Kenneth Turan of the LA Times.

(hq jump here.  all the good caps over here)

afternoon headlines

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 5:51 PM

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LINDSAY LOHAN – wrote a poem to go along with this ransom photo professional modeling picture to promote her clothing line that finally brings together the worlds of Fred Flintstone and Catwoman.  It includes the words “glamour”, “elegance”, “sophistication” and “grace”.  Yes.  “Sophistication”.  It’s like she read my mind. (wonder wall)

KATE BECKINSALE – is the Sexiest Woman Alive, according to Esquire magazine. And Mariana Bridi Costa is the Sexiest Woman Not Alive, according to a panel of top necrophiliacs. (pop eater)

SNOOP DOGG – tried to go through security with a bullet around his neck at the airport. The Beirut International Airport. Try and guess if it went well. (e online)

SETH ROGAN – is finally filming the Green Hornet. No one under the age of 200 has any idea what the Green Hornet is even about, so these pictures should quiet skeptics who wondered if Seth could point a sex toy while wearing a coat. Wait. Is that what he does pretty much? (hq jump here. source = wenn)

holy crap

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 3:31 PM

Here are some bullet points if you don’t have time to watch this full 5 minute clip from ‘2012’ but wanna pretend like you did so you can lord it over your friends and act like a bigshot.

- John Cusack calls Amanda Peete and tells her to pack the kids because California is “going down”.
- He arrives 12 seconds later. The kids are not packed.
- “Go, go, go!” (They need to go)
- True to it’s word, the movie shows California going down.
- “Ahhhoohhhh!”
- “Eeeeee!”
- They drive though a falling building.
- They fly through falling buildings.
- They snow ski through falling buildings.
- They have a potato sack race through falling buildings.
- They fly from the Santa Monica airport, about 1 mile from the ocean, to the Hotel Figueroa, about 30 miles from the ocean (satellite map). Then they turn around and go back to the ocean. Weeee!

lindsay is sooooo hot

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 2:22 PM

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Lindsay Lohan and her sister Ali were in Paris last night, and are you god damn kidding me. Lindsay is 23, looks 43 and acts like she’s 13. Which is why she looks 43. She looks so haggard and weary for her age, she might as well be covered in spiderwebs.

Her sister Ali is 15. She wants to be an actress too. Or an eastern European prostitute. She sort of looks like Anne Hathaway, except not as good in any of the good categories. Her body isn’t as good, her chest isn’t as big, she can’t act, and she’s not nearly as attractive.  She’s Anne Half The Way. A-cha-cha-cha-cha!

(hq jump here. source = splash)

oh hell yes

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 12:07 PM

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First Jessica Alba dyed her hair red (here), now Ali Later has done the same. Hot chicks with blood red hair are the absolute best. It’s like nailing a chick in a video game. Except this time, the game is for real!

Hopefully this will work out better than when I tried to play World of Warcraft – for real! Those black guys selling drugs seemed immune to my Blood Boil spell, and it did not cause any noticeable Shadow damage. Also my invisibility cloak must have slipped off my head because their punches and kicks seems to find it just fine.

(hq jump here. source = inf daily)

no wonder they look happy

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 11:07 AM

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Stephanie Birkitt is the woman at the center of the David Letterman blackmail scandal. She was one of the women Dave had an affair with when she worked on his show, and it was her ex boyfriend who attempted to blackmail him. The Huffington Post says:

Birkitt, Letterman’s former assistant who has made several appearances on the “Late Show,” had lived with alleged blackmailer Robert “Joe” Halderman, who allegedly “was in possession of Birkitt’s diary, correspondence and photos — which he says incriminated Letterman.”
Letterman and Birkitt had a relationship that ended before 2003, when his son Harry was born.
Birkitt is reportedly “mortified Halderman is using her fling with Letterman to blackmail her boss.”

And this will come down soon, but for now CBS has an interview that Birkett did with Letterman on the Late Night page (copy of it here). Thanks to Andy for finding that. Sure, he seems cool now, but I heard he had sex with Katherine Heigl. That’s gross dude. Have some self respect. I also heard he steals.

david letterman was blackmailed

By brendon October 02, 2009 @ 10:10 AM

David Letterman stunned his audience last night when he spent 10 minutes revealing an extortion plot against him for 2 million dollars, with the blackmailer threatening to release the details of several affairs Letterman had with girls who worked on the show. Also stunned was the girl he’s been dating since 1986. They had a son together in 2003 and they (Dave and the girl, not Dave and the son) got married last March.

CBS says the suspected blackmailer was a CBS employee who worked on the true-crime show ’48 Hours’. And apparently he wasn’t paying attention to work at all because his plan sucked and he was instantly tricked and caught. Yahoo says…

Three weeks ago, Letterman said, he got in his car early in the morning and found a package with a letter saying, “I know that you do some terrible, terrible things and that I can prove that you do some terrible things.” He acknowledged the letter contained proof.
He said it was terrifying “because there’s something insidious about (it). Is he standing down there? Is he hiding under the car? Am I going to get a tap on the shoulder?”
Letterman said he called his lawyer to set up a meeting with the man, who threatened to write a screenplay and a book about Letterman unless he was given money. There were two subsequent meetings, with the man given a phony $2 million check at the last one.
He told the audience that he had to testify before a grand jury on Thursday.
He said “the creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who work for me on this show. My response to that is yes, I have. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Yes, it would, especially for the women.”

I think the moral here is that I need to get some women to work on the website. I’m mostly looking for someone who will sleep with me. Can I just put that in the ad or will it seem too needy.