behold the power of photoshop

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 6:12 PM

chelsea_handler_hamptons_magazine_cover

Chelsea Handler is on the new issue of ‘Hamptons’ magazine, and yesterday they had a Memorial Day party to premiere it. And they had the real Chelsea stand next to the “Chelsea” on the cover of their magazine.

I don’t think someone really thought this through.

(image source = wenn)

Snooki is even sexier in a neck brace

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 2:44 PM

snooki_neck_brace

As if Snooki wasn’t already hot enough, now she’s wearing a neck brace as a result of her car crash this weekend. But then it got uncomfortable and she took it off. Until they started filming again and she put it back on.

The Italians really have to think this is some kind of show about partially shaved, domesticated monkeys at this point. 

(image source = bauer griffin)

LeAnn Rimes defends her ribs. I mean, “abs”.

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 2:12 PM

leann_rimes_bikini_honeymoon

Country singer/adulterer LeAnn Rimes tweeted a couple of bikini pictures from her honeymoon in Mexico on Sunday, and since you can see her ribs and hip bones in the pictures, one of her fans said you can see her ribs and hip bones in the pictures.

“Whoa, you’re scary skinny! Sorry don’t mean to offend but that’s a lot of bones showing through skin.”

Keep in mind that LeAnn Rimes will fuck your husband, so she’ll sure as hell patronize fans concerned about her health. And so she replied

“those are called abs not bones love.”

After that her fan decided to agree that none of this was happening (“Maybe it’s just the pic…”) and LeAnn wrote

“thx but this is my body and I can promise you I’m a healthy girl. I’m just lean. Thx for your concern but no need too be.”

I don’t mean to brag but I’m pretty sure I know where your ribs are. And that’s them up along the side. Those aren’t abs. But I don’t actually care anyway because I like girls who are skinny. Not only is it more attractive, but I feel they make my dick look bigger in comparison.

(image source = twitter, fame)

Snooki crashed into an Italian police car

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 12:26 PM

snooki_crash_police_car

Everyone on ‘Jersey Shore’ is dumb as a rock, so to say that Snooki is the dumbest one means she’s practically retarded. It’s like being the ugliest catfish.

True to form, she crashed into the back of a police car this weekend while filming in Florence, putting the two officers in the hospital for minor injuries. She was then taken into custody, though not arrested, because she didn’t have any of her paperwork (oh what a surprise), and will now lose her driving privileges.

It’s actually amazing she even made it to the street without crashing. Whatever the gene is for spatial reasoning, women don’t have it. They’re awesome at a lot of things but they can’t measure for shit. Look at that headline picture. I guarantee her last words were, “I can make that, right?” So to let her drive in Italy had disaster written all over it. You might as well blindfold her and spin her around first.

(image source = pacific coast)

Hermione is optimistic

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 10:43 AM

emma_watson_sports_bra

Emma Watson is in Pittsburgh these days to film ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’, and over the weekend she went to the gym in a sports bra, just in case her breasts somehow doubled in size while working out and would need one.

(image source = pacific coast)

Michelle Rodriguez is in Monaco

By brendon May 31, 2011 @ 9:51 AM

michelle_rodriguez_bikini_monaco_monte_carlo_grand_prix

Michelle Rodriguez spent the weekend watching the Monte Carlo Grand Prix, and even though she wore pants you could (once again) kind of see her ass. Sebastian Vettel was the winner of the Grand Prix btw, and Michelle was the winner of the Intersex Bikini Contest.

(image source = flynet)

Sean Kingston is not having a good Memorial Day

By brendon May 30, 2011 @ 11:30 AM

sean-kingston

Rapper Sean Kingston was on a jet ski off Miami beach yesterday, when suddenly the Palm Island Bridge came out of nowhere and pulled right in front of him and he crashed into it. Guess who won that fight.

Hip-hop star Sean Kingston was operating a jet ski in Miami Beach early Sunday evening when the watercraft collided with a bridge. His condition has now been stabilized.
“Sean was heading west from the MacArthur Causeway and Miami Beach Islands when his personal watercraft collided with the bridge, and he and his female passenger ended up in the water,” a spokesman tells PEOPLE.
“A good Samaritan tended to the two of them until Miami Beach Fire Rescue arrived and saw there were injuries.”
investigations into the cause of the accident are still underway, but “nothing indicates there was alcohol involved.”

Hmm. No alcohol, huh? Well is there anything else a rapper from Jamaica who was having a party in Miami might have had around that would perhaps dull his senses to the point where he would run into a fucking 800 ton bridge? The cause of this wreck is a real mind bender.

Rihanna is bashful

By brendon May 27, 2011 @ 1:36 PM

rihanna_good_morning_america

Rihanna was on ‘Today’ this morning, wearing a half shirt and fishnets and singing ‘S&M’.  Because that was the most elaborate way anybody at ‘Today’ could think of to tell their normal audience of housewives and old people to fuck off.

(image source = inf)