‘the Tourist’ has a new trailer

By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 2:57 PM



When Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie and director Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck announced they were making ‘the Tourist’, I think we were all like, “finally.” The three of them, together at last. And then they filmed it in Paris and Venice, so I sort of assumed it was gonna be something different. Not… this.

This could have been made with Seth Rogan and Anne Hathaway and been the exact same movie. Or Katherine Heigl and Russell Brand. If Depp and Brand are ever reading the same script, Depp needs to slap whoever gave it to him. This thing is one “holding onto a priceless vase during a fight so it doesn’t break but then after the fight the girl opens the door and he’s behind it and it does break” away from being a Jackie Chan and Teri Hatcher movie.

Jennifer Lopez is the new ‘Idol’ judge, a complete bitch

By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 2:00 PM

wenn8419322

Jennifer Lopez is a mean selfish cunt and everyone hates her, so when reports claimed her insane demands made it impossible for ‘American Idol’ to sign her as a judge this season, they seemed extremely believable.

After all it was only 7 months ago that Sony records dropped her for the same reason. Because dealing with her pissy attitude wasn’t worth it now that no one buys her records.

But then yesterday, TMZ said, “someone is trying to sabotage ‘American Idol’ by dragging Jennifer Lopez through the mud.” They said those stories were lies, planted by her enemies. Lopez is a delightful woman it seems, and nothing at all like Oh wait never mind she still sucks….

“(American Idol is) taking all the attention of what a nightmare J.Lo is to work with…”
“Of all the people I have ever worked with, no one was more difficult than Jennifer,” a magazine editor tells (Popeater). “When we shot her for a cover, her list of demands were crazy. She needed an all white room scented with Jo Malone candles. She insisted on having a banquet of food — that she never touched — and even had the nerve to ask for a specific type of private plane.”

Nonetheless, yesterday she signed a one year contract for $12,000,000.

So if you ever want to know why most movies and TV sucks, there you go. Because Hollywood is run by retards. No one likes her, she can’t sing, she’s not smart or funny, she adds nothing but pandemonium to a live TV show. They might as well have hired a hundred wild pigs, set their tails on fire and just turned them loose on stage.

Victoria Silvstedt is flexible

By brendon September 15, 2010 @ 11:52 AM

victoria_silvstedt_park

Former Miss Sweden and Playmate of The Year (and current prostitute) Victoria Silvstedt did some stretching in Central Park yesterday, and I know what you’re thinking: “Hey I think I can see her vagina in the banner picture. Or is she wearing panties? Did Brendon crop a picture that zooms in on that?”

You know I did, brother! HIGH FIVE!

(image source = splash news online)

Heidi Montag is a good surfer

By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 5:58 PM

43891PCN_MontagSurf

Now there are even more new pictures of Heidi Montag last week in Costa Rica, this time as she bravely tries surfing for the first time. It didn’t go very well for some unknowable reason, but now we have bikini pictures of a girl with big tits. “Even more bikini pictures”, I should say. If I were religious I’d say a prayer and give thanks for the plentiful bounty o’ this day.

(image source = pacific coast)

Elle magazine is in trouble over Gabourey Sidibe

By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 4:49 PM

elle_covers

The 25th Anniversary issue of Elle magazine has 4 different covers, each one showing someone on their list of 25 notable women under 25. The covers show Megan Fox, Amanda Seyfried, Gabourey Sidibe, and Lauren Conrad. Sidibe is actually 27, but that’s the least of Elle’s problems.

As you can see, the covers for Fox, Conrad and Seyfried show body shots, while Sidibes is more of a close up. And some, like this blog, are also saying Elle lightened her skin.

In Elles defense, it’s easy to find pictures of Sidibe at different events where she looks lighter or darker, for whatever reason. They also put Alek Wek on their cover, twice, and that chick is black as night.

As far as not showing Sidibes body, are you god damn kidding me. Of course they didn’t. If they had to have a black girl they should have gotten Zoe Saldana. Or Meagan Good. K.D. Aubert is absolutely awesome, put her on there and everybody wins. Sidibe shouldn’t be anywhere near Elle. It’s a fashion magazine celebrating beauty, and if that lump gets any fatter they’re gonna start listing her on maps.

Heidi Montags bikini fell off (note: not really)

By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 3:15 PM

44068PCN_HeidiBlue

Heidi Montag is back in LA now, but today there are sexy new paparazzi pictures of her in Costa Rica last week. As you can see in the picture above, she was frolicking in the ocean with a photographer, as people do, when a wave crashed in and took her bikini top off!

Waaiit, wait, I jumped the gun. My bad. Her bikini is still on.

Oh never mind it is off. I guess I was mistaken. At first it appeared as if the wave didn’t pull her top off, but then later you can see that it did. No doubt there’s some reasonable explanation for how that happened. I should send her one of those cards that play that “so you had a bad day” song, to show I sympathize with all the bad luck she’s having.

(source = pacific coast news)

Emma Stone knows how to dress

By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 2:12 PM

SPL209794_018

Emma Stone of ‘Superbad’ and ‘Zombieland’ wore this kick ass dress last night to the premiere of her new movie ‘Easy A’, and everything was going great until stupid Taylor Swift came and stood in the way.

MOVE YOU CRICKET LOOKIN BITCH!

Wait. Wait what’s going on in picture number 8? Are they about to kiss? Oh well never mind then. I didn’t know you were gonna do that. This whole thing is startin to look like ‘Easy A’ is one of those anal porn movies. Starring Emma Stone. Nice.

this is Lady Gaga. at the airport. in New York.

By brendon September 14, 2010 @ 1:10 PM

Lady GaGa

Lady Gaga landed at JFK last night, wearing her typical nonsense (*), and her outfits have really gone to hell since designer Alexander McQueen hung himself in February. Like the meat dress she wore to the VMA’s. His stuff was at least clever. Her new clothes are just dumb.

NEW DESIGNER: “How about a dress that’s just a German Shepard that’s strapped to your back and fucks you?”
LADY GAGA: “Can we find a solid black one!”

(*) which in this case means dozens of people at LAX let someone get on a commercial flight to New York City, two days after the anniversary of 9/11, wearing handcuffs, chains and a wig to disguise her looks. Awesome, right?

(image source = inf daily)