JWoww lost 20 pounds

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 8:47 PM

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JWoww has been famous for about two years now, and whenever you see her, one word comes to mind. Fatty. So thank god she finally got in the gym and did something about it.

The Jersey Shore star sat down with Life & Style to share how she cleaned up her act, lost 20 pounds, and two dress sizes in the past seven months.
“I want to go back to where I was until I was 21. I was running 3½ miles a day, and I looked amazing. I was very, very health-conscious. And I’d never had a drink.”
This season, JWoww started hitting the gym with the guys and scaled back her partying, limiting herself to lower-cal cocktails like “vodka-seltzer, no cranberry, nothing fruity. I drank things that wouldn’t induce a hangover so I could stick with the gym. It was hard, but it was worth it.” Since filming of the third season ended in September, she has cut alcohol altogether. “I want to be on point, and drinking gets in the way,” she says.

So, when it comes to getting in shape, exercise = good. Getting drunk = bad. Wait, is that right? I think that might be an urban legend.

afternoon headlines

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 5:41 PM

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SKINS – is the new MTV drama, with a cast ranging from 15-19, where everyone gets drunk and has sex, and now some nerds are asking the government to open an investigation to determine if it’s child pornography. I don’t think it is, but I haven’t fucked a 15 year old since I was like 24, so maybe the laws have changed since then. (deadline)

AMERICAN IDOL – on Thursday night was down 9 percent from Wednesday night, which was down 13 percent from last years season premiere. They should just cancel the show right now. Instead of Coke it should be sponsored by Sleepytime Tea. (hollywood reporter)

SACHA BARON COHEN – will not be playing Saddam Hussein in his next movie, as was the rumor yesterday, but will be a fictionalized version of Hussein in a movie based on a book written by Hussein, that “tells the heroic story of a dictator who risked his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.” Awesome. Everyone loves a good genocide joke. (slate)

JENNA BENTLEY – was down in Hermosa Beach yesterday, and yes this is purely filler bc there were no other good pictures. The paparazzi agency refers to her as a Playmate but I don’t think that’s true. It better not be true, because Julri Waters is a billion times hotter and she’s not a Playmate yet. She should be though. She’s beautiful. And Korean. With G’s. I can’t believe she’s even real. It’s like discovering Superman is real. (pacific coast)

Helena Bonham Carter is heartbreaking

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 4:01 PM

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Helena Bonham Carter, my beloved Marla Singer, who used to look like this and even now can look like this when she tries, ran some errands around North London today, and seriously what in the hell.

She looks like someone who would throw a handful of pee in your eyes while yelling some insane gibberish. If that thing tried to kiss me, I’d pull my head down like a turtle until it completely sunk into my chest. I don’t know how but I would figure it out.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Lindsay Lohan bribed Dawn Holland to change her story

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 1:39 PM

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Dawn Holland is the woman who worked at Betty Ford and accused Lindsay Lohan of assaulting her, but who followed that a few days later by saying things were fine, that she overreacted, and Lindsay should be left alone.

That was weird, huh? That’s a weird thing for someone to do. The only explanation would be that, either Dawn really did think she overacted and felt bad because Lindsay is a sweet little angel, or that Lindsay bribed her to change her story.

Hold on to your hats, everyone.

(Holland) secretly cut a $25,000 deal with (Lohan) after refusing to testify against her, Radar has learned.
What’s more, Holland fired her attorney Keith Davidson on Thursday afternoon after the payday never materialized.
“Dawn agreed to a $25,000 payment from someone directly associated with Lohan’s camp,” a source said.
“Dawn wanted the amount paid upfront. But Lohan’s camp wanted to spread it out over a period of a few months, paying her in installments.”

It might seem weird that Lindsay couldn’t pay it all at once and then never paid it at all, but that’s probably because she doesn’t have $25,000. Actually she doesn’t even have $15,000 it would seem, because TMZ adds that part of the deal was for Lohan and Holland to sell some pics to the paparazzi and for Holland to keep all the money.

The plan — hatched BEFORE Dawn decided not to pursue criminal charges against Lindsay — was that Dawn would make $10,000 from the sale of the photos.

It was dumb of Lindsay to not pay up, but even dumber of Dawn to think she was ever going to. She’s in a drug rehab, she just hit you, then lied about it to the cops and bribed you into lying too. How many god damn warning signs do you need before it daws on you that maybe this girl isn’t of the highest moral character. What if she had blood on her hands and around her mouth? Anything yet? Still seem good?

morning headlines

By brendon January 21, 2011 @ 10:48 AM

Hilary Duff Leaving Neiman Marcus In Beverly Hills

MEL GIBSON – is facing up to 4 years in jail for hitting his ex. It’s probably a good thing he didn’t know that because if he did I bet he would have hit her even harder. (sun)

AMERICAN IDOL – is down 13 percent in the ratings from one year ago, which was the lowest rated season in the shows history. And this is crazy because everyone loves Jennifer Lopez so much. How could this have gone wrong? It’s a real mindbender. (ew)

TAYLOR SWIFT AND JAKE GYLLENHAAL – dated briefly around Thanksgiving, then broke up, but now may be back together. They might as well be. They’re never gonna find anyone else this bland and boring, so don’t even bother. (people)

KESHA – has said in countless interviews that that she doesn’t know who her father is, but it might her father, whom she had a very cordial relationship with until she was 19, but then stared telling people she doesn’t know who her father is. Just once it would be nice to find a girl who wasn’t completely fucking nuts. (star)

HILARY DUFF – is pregnant according to Star, but not pregnant according to Hilary Duff. So either Star is lying, or she’s lying, or she wanted to wait and tell me our big news in person. (star, twitter)

Kim Kardashian > fat dumb hillbilly teen moms

By brendon January 20, 2011 @ 5:12 PM

Kim Kardashian

Kim Kardashian went on her blog yesterday to post about the high school in Memphis that has had 90 teen pregnancies in the past year, and how it might relate to the MTV show Teen Mom, and said some fairly obvious things that shouldn’t even need to be said, such as…

“…while I’m not saying that no teen is in the position to raise a child, having a baby so young shouldn’t be seen as the trendy thing to do.
Girls, please, think very carefully before you make these kind of decisions.”

Only a feeble minded dolt would try to equate having a child with making a sex tape, and so that’s exactly what Teen Mom “star” Amber Portwood did in her oh-so-clever rebuttal…

“Last time I checked, Kim Kardashian had a sex tape floating around on the internet and I’m pretty sure she made a lot of money off of it,” says the mother of 2-year-old Leah. “She made a sex tape when she was younger and she wants to bash the girls on Teen Mom?”

Listen you hillbilly whore, Kims sex tape isn’t gonna rob and shoot me in 15 years because it was raised by some dimwitted loser. If you have a kid at 16 it should be taken away and you should be turned upside down and filled with cement because you’re an idiot and a menace to society. You might as well just chop off one of your own feet since you’re so determined to make your life ten thousand times harder than it needs to be for absolutely no reason.

(image source = inf daily)

Rihanna got another haircut

By brendon January 20, 2011 @ 4:49 PM

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Rihanna was out in Hollywood last night with what popeater refers to as a “wig”, but I don’t know if they mean that literally or if that’s just what todays young people are calling a hairstyle. Either way, what the fuck why. This is what you’d wear at Holloween if you went as a toilet brush.

(image source = splash news online)

Kim Kardashian has a racy new leaked picture

By brendon January 20, 2011 @ 1:17 PM

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The New York Daily News says today that they have a private candid picture of Kim Kardashian, naked in bed with her new boyfriend, though to be honest that probably makes it sound hotter than it really is.

Gatecrasher has secured a photo of (Kim) and her rumored BF, New Jersey Net Kris Humphries, that a source tells us was once the b-baller’s BlackBerry Messenger photo.
In the steamy head shot, where the two appear to be in bed together, a bare-shouldered Kardashian smiles provocatively at the camera, with her mouth open and tongue out, while Humphries licks the side of her face. Going from a sex tape to a foreplay photo counts as progress, we guess.

It feels like it should be about time where everyone stops mentioning the sex tape every time Kim Kardashian does something even remotely racy. Just the fact that it’s referred to as a “tape” makes it feel like a 50 year old story. Like she’s gonna be on there in black and white, doing the Charleston.

(image source = splash news online)