nice catch ben

Ben Affleck is generally said to be a very nice guy, but if he could go 10 minutes without looking like a complete doofus that would be terrific. The cast and crew of his new movie took a break to play some football yesterday, and the first pass thrown to Ben sort of... read more

hahaha, you suck hayden

It’s probably sad that Hayden Panawhatever got robbed last week but I can’t stand that stubby bitch so fuck her. TMZ says...Law enforcement sources say Hayden returned from vacation on April 15th and discovered around $15,000 worth of jewelry was missing ... there were no... read more

the edge is very popular in malibu

U2 guitarist The Edge is pissing off his new neighbors around Malibu because of his plans to build (you’re probably thinking “one” aren’t you”) five mansions on an ocean side cliff. And it turns out that building things on unstable crumbling rock teetering over the ocean... read more

those are nice shorts

Vanessa Hudgens wore a baggy mans shirt and seemingly nothing else at a nursery (plants not kids) in LA yesterday, and it’s probably safe to say that if photographs had closed-captioning, like from a narrator or something, it would just be 2 minutes of grunting sounds and... read more

afternoon headlines

RUBINA ALI - police in India have found no evidence that her father tried to sell the “Slumdog Millionaire” actress for $400,000. Wait I thought it was 300,000? See, this is why you always bring the coupon when buying Indian kids. (source = the AP)BRITNEY SPEARS - Ryan... read more

wow beyonce really sucks

I have no idea what “board feed” is, but Howard Stern somehow got the raw board feed of Beyonce live on the Today show, performing that song she stole from that hot blond chick (this one), and it’s hard to even imagine anyone has ever been worse at anything than Beyonce... read more

lindsay is doing great

Lindsay went shopping yesterday with her sister Ali (is she still trying to be famous? I feel bad for her. Wait, no, I meant to say, “I feel mad at her.” Go away rat-face), and the Daily Mail thinks you shouldn't be able to see her rib cage like this.Her cream halter-neck... read more

would you?

Would you rather fuck Helen Mirren or Kirsten Dunst? I can’t even begin to guess under what circumstances it might happen, but I really hope Helen Mirren (seen here at yesterdays London premier of “Dumbly Named Movie”) never hits on me, because I think I would fuck her. I... read more

oh how subtle

Yeah, she’s drowning in semen. You're saying she's a whore. We get it. “Just Got Laid” hair in the picture and “drowning in semen”. Relax. Seriously, “drowning in a sea of men”? Who says that? What, is Robert Frost over there now? Why not just go all the way? Add some... read more

"For the record, I am a size 2"

Let’s just put our cards on the table, shall we: Kim Kardashian is not a size 2. As was plainly obvious yesterday when she wore spandex to a nail salon in Beverly Hills. You could take all the material from a size 2 pair of jeans, double it, double that and then add a... read more

lindsay might dance topless for money

I know people thought I was screwing around on April 1 when I said Lindsay was getting serious offers to film and sell a sex tape. She was, and she still is, and she’s still saying no and yet the parties involved still think she’ll do it, sooner than later, with the right... read more

madonna is a liar

When Madonna fell off her horse during a riding session in New York four days ago, her publicist Liz Rosenberg does what she always does and blamed everyone else. The Daily Mail says...Her spokesperson Liz Rosenberg claimed the horse was 'startled by paparazzi jumping out... read more