"i can't hear you because of my huge breasts."

Salma Hayek read a 'Dora The Explorer' book to some kids in Burbank for some reason but I didn't read that part because who cares. Her dress was boring and the only good part was when she leaned over a little bit to answer questions from the kids. Questions like, "What... read more

megan fox is good, not a slut

Megan Fox doesn't get the credit she deserves as an actress and still gets labeled as slut who skates by on her looks, but I'll continue to stand up for her because when you love someone that's what you do. And also because I know all too well what it's like when people... read more

trista sutter is kind of hot

If you don't remember, Trista Sutter was on 'the Bachelor' or 'the Bachelorette' or 'Whore Island' or one of those stupid shows where contestants get to fuck the star, and she's actually still married to the dude who won her vagina. I don't know his name. Let's call him... read more

morning headlines

OK GO - has made another video for 'This Too Shall Pass', this one built around a Rube Goldberg machine that took 4 months to build. It's a panoply of complex triggers and engineering. In related news, I learned the word "panoply" yesterday. (billboard) BLANKET JACKSON -... read more

"you were a size 4 and people were calling you fat"

Jessica Simpson will be on tomorrows Oprah Winfrey show, and she won't really talk about John Mayer saying how good she is sexually ("I don't want people to know how I am in bed!") but she does address the fact that she's real fat now. Simpson opens up about her weight,... read more

coco is photogenic (update!)

Coco has posted a bunch of sexy new modeling pictures and these must be the only ones where her breasts didn't fall out because even here she can barely cage those monsters. It's pretty frustrating. Maybe I should get naked but cover my penis with paint. Then take some... read more

f**k you new york

Lil Wayne will turn himself in to police sometime today to begin his one year prison sentence after being convicted of a shocking crime spree that began three years ago. (WARNING: the following summary from MTV contains graphic details.) In 2007, Lil Wayne was arrested... read more

tuesday morning headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - is 23, and Roberto Cavalli is 69. Good luck trying to figure out which one to feel sorry for. (wenn) JAY LENO - is planning a week of shows in New York City, to beat Letterman "on his home turf". Leno will be great there. I bet he'll have some real... read more

audrina patridge + bikini = awesome

Audrina Patridge of the Hills is in FHM this month, and holy shit does she look fantastic. She somehow turned into Carol Alt from 1982 and with way better breasts. The good news is she's in a bikini, but that's also the bad news. Meanwhile I'm over here topless. If she... read more

todays top story

Actually these are just more pictures from yesterday and aren't news in any way, unless you consider hot girls with huge breasts to be news, which I very very much do. She and her gorgeous tits make a really effective marketing team. After seeing these pictures I went... read more

jwoww is kind of hot

'Jersey Shore' star JWoww had a birthday party this weekend at the Palms in Vegas, and the pictures are important because HOLY SHIT I love her chest so much, but also because; hahahaha, is this fag her boyfriend? What a jackass. I like your little tie, fag. You look so... read more

courtney love is doing great

It was a parade of stars in Milan this weekend for Robert Cavalli's fashion show, from Lindsay Lohan to Courtney Love to no one before, after or in between. Seriously it was just those two (the secret is to write "open bar" on the invitation). But Love and Cavalli are... read more