Jessica Szhor is naked for Sobe

About this time last year, Sobe tricked Ashley Greene into getting naked in front of them so they could take pictures of it. And it was fantastic. Yet for some reason, instead of re-creating that, this year Sobe hired Jessica Szhor of... I don't know. Vampire Diaries? ... read more

Jenny McCarthy is not actually a doctor

Jenny McCarthy, Miss October 1993, who has now murdered 622 children, has spent the last few years insisting that vaccines gave her kid autism, despite the fact that it's not true and her kid probably never had autism to begin with. Her only real medical evidence came... read more

Eliza Doolittle is... um... someone in a bikini

I'm guessing most people have no idea who Eliza Doolittle is, but she's a 22 year old singer from London and more to the point she's in Barbados in a bikini. Even morer to the point, the first week of January is always excruciatingly slow, and stuff like this passes off... read more

Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock are not dating

Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock have been friends for over a decade and are both now famously single, but even though they've been doing things lately that people do when they're dating, they're apparently not dating. despite speculation that a romance is brewing in the... read more

Lindsay Lohan was drunk at Betty Ford

The bad news for Lindsay Lohan is that she apparently committed several different violations of her probation during her stay at the Betty Ford center. The good news is that it never seems to mater how many laws she breaks, so just throw these on the pile I guess. Palm... read more

Wednesday headlines

JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND TAYLOR SWIFT - broke up, and now that vindictive psychopath will no doubt try to embarrass him in one of her songs. "And people wonder why I'm gay," Jake will no doubt say to himself. ( LINDSAY LOHAN - says she's not stalking her ex Sam Ronson,... read more

Snooki likes waking up in garbage cans

Snooki and Oscar the Grouch are both dirty, ugly and let strange men fist them, but the similarities don't end there, because she told Ellen Degeneres that there are still days when she wakes up in a garbage can. She calls those "good days". Ellen asked, "Now, when you... read more

Jessica Simpson is a fashion designer

It would be remiss of me to not post the pictures of Jessica Simpsons sexy outfit that she wore in Aspen this week. I wonder what was caused more dicks to shrivel up; the bitter cold or the way her fat shapeless legs filled those tights. [gallery... read more

Lindsay Lohan has already violated her probation

It would be easy to say that Lindsay Lohan had been out of rehab for less than 24 hours before violating her probation, but to be fair, that's not true, because she was still in rehab when she violated her probation, at least according to the Palm Desert Police... read more

Lindsay Lohan is stalking Sam Ronson

Earlier it might have sounded like I was blaming Sam Ronson for Lindsay Lohans problems. Far from it. Sam isn't the one who's a dysfunctional drug addict. In fact she's respected and successful. The point was that Lindsay Lohan hasn't changed in any way since being... read more

Tuesday morning headlines

GWYNETH PALTROW - suffered from postpartum depression after giving birth to her son Moses in 2006. "I just thought it meant I was a terrible mother and a terrible person." And fat, Gwyneth, let's not forget about fat. (people) SANDRA BULLOCK AND RYAN REYNOLDS - spent New... read more

Lindsay Lohan now lives next door to Samantha Ronson

Let's be perfectly clear: Lindsay Lohan is white trash, granted it's white trash with very nice tits. White trash often has the nicest tits for some reason, or maybe it's just that they're the ones who let you see them the most. But she's definitely white trash, from a... read more