Michelle Rodriguez might need a tighter bikini

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 12:32 PM

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Michelle Rodriguez and some of her special ladyfriends went swimming off the cliffs near the Eden Roc Hotel in Cannes, and Michelle might want to get a tighter swimsuit because the one she has kept sliding down and now we can all see her ass. Still, these pictures are surprisingly dull considering they started out with an attractive, flexible, upside down lesbian.

(image source = inf and bauer griffin)

Gwen Stefani was in a bikini

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 11:14 AM

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Gwen Stefani spent the weekend with her family on a yacht outside Cannes, France, and as you can see, at one point she paced back and forth on the phone in half a bikini. As you can also see, she might as well have just zipped a sleeping bag up to her neck it was so damn dull.

(image source = splash news and inf and bauer griffin)

Charlie Sheen is “destroyed” to lose Two And A Half Men

By brendon May 16, 2011 @ 1:25 AM

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It should probably go without saying that if you go on TV with two prostitutes and explain in great detail about how much you love drugs and call your boss a “pussy punk” and “piece of shit” among other things, and cost your employer $250 million, that might burn a few bridges at work.

But apparently it’s news to Charlie Sheen, because he’s been waiting all this time for CBS to invite him back to ‘Two And A Half Men’, and he’s genuinely shocked now that he’s been replaced by Ashton Kutcher. Popeater says…

“He really thought that he would be invited back,” a friend of Charlie’s tells me. “After years of suffering no consequences for his behavior, why would he think anything else? Finally it has sunk in that he doesn’t live by different rules to everyone else. Actions do have a consequences.”
My source reveals that the casting has hit him hard and that the lack of other offers has weighed heavily on him.
“He is destroyed that Ashton is replacing him. Destroyed,” the friend says. “We are all worried that he hasn’t hit bottom yet and that this could make him spiral out of control again. Especially after all the other productions that he assumed would happen have fell apart.”
Shortly after Charlie was fired he hinted that he was in talks with FOX and HDNet and that he expected to get paid $1 million for a Vanity Fair interview. None of which has yet to be confirmed.

It truly is beyond belief if Sheen thought he would get invited back by Warner Brothers. It would be like Mohamed Atta applying for a job at American.

‘Jersey Shore’ has arrived in Italy

By brendon May 13, 2011 @ 6:42 PM

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The cast of ‘Jersey Shore’ arrived in Florence, Italy, today to film the next season of their MTV show, and if you’re wondering how long it took to for them to embarrass me as an American, I’m not quite sure. However long it took for Snooki to get out of the bus.

(image source = pacific coast and inf)

Cheryl Cole, the new X Factor judge, seems nice

By brendon May 13, 2011 @ 4:45 PM

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Cheryl Cole, who will be one of the four judges on the American version of Simon Cowells show ‘the X Factor’, attended the premiere of ‘Habemus Papam’ at the Cannes Film Festival earlier today, and… um… oh, what’s that Cheryl? You want me to stare at your boobs? Oh, gosh, thank you, don’t mind if I do!

(image source = getty and splash news and bauer griffin)

Charlie Sheen reacts to Ashton Kutcher taking his job

By brendon May 13, 2011 @ 3:27 PM

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Like everyone else, I naturally assumed Charlie Sheen would take the news that he was replaced on ‘Two And A Half Men’ by Ashton Kutcher with a quiet dignity. But, as it turns out, he was a smug, condescending dickhead about it. Huh. That’s really surprising.

Charlie tells TMZ, “Kutcher is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer … Oh wait, so am I!!”
Charlie continues, taking a shot at the show, saying, “Enjoy the show America. Enjoy seeing a 2.0 in the demo every Monday, WB.” Essentially, Charlie is saying the age group that supported him is going to tune out.
Charlie adds, “Enjoy planet Chuck, Ashton. There is no air, laughter, loyalty, or love there.” Of course, Charlie is referring to his nemesis, “Men” creator and Executive Producer Chuck Lorre.

It does seem ironic that Sheen, a sad old degenerate who has to hire prostitues and pay girls to be around him, was replaced by Kutcher, who recently started a foundation about sex slaves called ‘Real Men Don’t Buy Girls’. Say what you will about Ashton, but at least he doesn’t get an itemized bill every time he has sex. So CBS will be getting someone 12 years younger, who is just as well known, at less then half the price (Ashtons deal is worth around $900,000 an episode compared to Sheens $2 million), and on top of all that they won’t need the crew to seal up all the things on set that a dick could fit into.

(image source = pacific coast)

Britney Spears parents think shes “mentally incapable”

By brendon May 13, 2011 @ 1:11 PM

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That headline isn’t nearly as bad as it sounds, by the way.

If you don’t remember, Sam Lufti is the piece of shit who was always around Britney Spears in 2007. It was her lowest point, after she shaved her head, and he came out of nowhere and took over her life. No one could get to her without going through him. He reportedly cut her phone lines, threw away her cell phones, disabled her cars and ground up pills to hide in her food. It was only after he lost a suit to take control of her finances that Britney was placed under psychiatric care, and shortly after that he was investigated by the LAPD for drugging Britney, possibly for months, before anyone was able to intervene.

Well now he’s suing Britneys mom for defamation, and he wants Britney to testify. You can probabaly guess how excited her parents are about that.

Billboard.com says…

Britney’s parents, though, are resisting, saying that Britney is mentally incapable of testifying. In a motion filed on Monday at Los Angeles Superior Court, Lutfi asked a judge to order a psychiatric evaluation of the singer to prove that’s not true.
Despite Spears’ comeback, she’s still under the conservatorship of her father and family lawyer. Both are hesitant to let the singer get too close with Lutfi, who was fired in 2008.

So this guy kept Britney secluded in a drugged up haze for months while robbing her, and now he wants her help to sue. And since the only money Britneys mom has is what Britney gives her, he’s essentially asking for her help to take more of her money. What a piece of shit. Someone should do something. Does anyone know how quicklime works? Will that really dissolve a body? Hypothetically speaking.
 
(image source = getty and splash news)

it’s pregnant Jessica Alba in a bikini, day 2

By brendon May 13, 2011 @ 10:13 AM

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Jessica Alba spent a second day in a bikini down in Cabo, Mexico, and I love girls with big tits, and I’ve always wanted to see Jessica Alba with bigger tits, but this is like one of those Faustian deals where my wish comes back to bite me in the ass. Like, the Devil granted my wish, and now she has bigger tits, but it’s because she’s pregnant, which is repulsive. Stop being such a dick Devil, you know what I meant.

((image source = splash news and flynet))