Iggy Azalea’s Stripper Moves Onstage At The Glastonbury Festival

July 2, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Used to be a girl would get in trouble from shaking her hips onstage. Now, she needs to pantomime the top five trending clips on YouPorn to make the cool kids list. Parents are outraged, but you need only look at the statistics to see that teen female pop music fans are giving up the […]

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Elmo Is Off The Hook And Free To Terrorize Boys on Sesame Street

July 2, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Kevin Clash, the fist inside Elmo’s red furry asshole, is not going to be tried for allegedly having sex with three underaged boys. Not because there isn’t enough evidence, but because the accusers waited too late and the statute of limitations ran out. You’ll recall that Clash resigned from Sesame Street after several boys came […]

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Corey Feldman in Hollywood With Three Girls

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Corey Feldman has this long running shtick where he heads out in Hollywood in sunglasses, usually a hat, and three trashy looking ladies on his arms at all times. It’s kind of awkward because the third girl doesn’t even have a tiny Feldman arm to drape. She’s just sort of out there like an untethered […]

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Kendall Jenner Flips Off The Media

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

I brought in one of those Homeland Security guys who interprets the hand gestures of captured jihadists to see if they’re sending secret signals to their crazy Muslim allies. I had him take a look at what appears to be Kendall Jenner’s middle finger elongated hand gestures arriving at LAX. Here’s the good news. She’s […]

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John Travolta Wants You To Know He’s a Pilot

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

John Travolta loves to fly planes. He owns more planes than you and a couple less than United Airlines. He is trained to fly his jets which I guess also authorizes him to dress like a pilot. Just like the last time you changed a tire you did so in your greasy Bronko’s garage jumpsuit. […]

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Marysol Patton And Friend At The Beach

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin, FameFlynet, PCN

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J-Lo Sings Happy Birthday To A Ruthless Dictator

July 1, 2013 | Uncategorized | editor| 0 Comments

Jennifer Lopez decided to take her mediocre singing talents and big ass to Turkmenistan to perform for ruthless dictator Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow. The “singer” performed at the behest of the China National Petroleum Corp, (which right there should have tipped her off that this wasn’t a United Way program). Berdimuhamedow was in attendance and she sang […]

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Lindsay Lohan Is Almost Totally Cured

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

Lindsay Lohan has apparently been doing great in her latest rehab stint at the Betty Ford Clinic, because we’ve barely heard anything about her, so it must mean that the quacks are exorcising her demons. Fortunately, TMZ reached out to its super-secret source of all things Lindsay, which means her mom or dad, and found […]

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Joanna Krupa Brought Her Side Boob To Vegas

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | editor| 0 Comments

It’s still really strange to think of Joanna Krupa as the star of Real Housewives of Miami because, for starters, she’s only 34-years old. When I think of any of those Housewives shows, my first thought is middle-aged divorced, remarried and widowed women who have more plastic parts than a Korean automobile. I definitely don’t […]

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Deion Sanders Gives Great Advice

July 1, 2013 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen| 0 Comments

Even off the field, athletes are pretty convinced that Jesus is on their side. Deion Sanders thinks that his journey of banging tons and tons of hot women until one finally sued him in divorce for millions was all part of the master plan. A test he passed. So Jesus helped make the prenup stick […]

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