BRITNEY HAS A NEW MAN

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 8:59 AM

The Sun UK says today that the mystery guy in these pictures is Britney’s bodyguard/new boyfriend, a former Israeli soldier known so far only as "Lee".

A source said: “Britney and Lee hit it off immediately.  He is her perfect type. She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army.  He also has a few tattoos, which she loves. They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical.  They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time — Lee’s put a smile on her face.”

Eww.  The idea of banging Britney at this point is gross, I don’t care what she looks like.  The corral of retards that have already been in that is discouragement enough.   That list of guys is like something a girl would do if she hated her vagina and wanted to punish it.  She might as well just attack it with her shoe.

TOM CRUISE IS IN TROUBLE

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 7:15 AM

The New York Daily News says today that Tom Cruise has been named in a $250 million federal lawsuit against the Church of Scientology.  Hahahaha, you suck Tom Cruise.  Goofy bastard.  THE NYDN says…

Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left.
In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer's wife answered, said he was her husband's homosexual lover.
Letterese calls the church a "crime syndicate" and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families.
He singles out Cruise, who's made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is "aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars."

This guy is crazy.  Scientology is legit.  I took their personality test one time and it turns out I like to have fun.  And I thought about it and they were right.  Just a week earlier I had hit my thumb with a hammer and I didn’t care for that at all.  How did Scientology know?!?!?!  Here’s some money, tell me more!!!

RIHANNA FORGOT SOMETHING

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 6:26 AM

Rihanna left boyfriend Chirs Brown (I have no idea who that is) at home last night while she hit the clubs in NYC in a kick ass see thru top.  Although maybe I wish she hadn’t.  That bitch is hot as hell but her breasts look kind of weird.  I believe the technical term is, "saucer nips".  I read that in a science magazine about women.  It was called, "Sexy Chocolate Mamas".

ANGELINA JOLIE AS CATWOMAN?

By brendon July 31, 2008 @ 5:58 AM

For like 12 hours the greatest rumor in the world has been that Angelina Jolie is after the role of Catwoman in the third Batman movie, who some say will be called "Gotham", from director Chris Nolan.  The Telegraph UK says…

The actress, who gave birth to twins earlier this month, is reported to have already made enquiries with film executives about playing the part.  Julie Newmar, who played the feline villain in the 1960s Batman television series, said Jolie would make a fantastic Catwoman should the character be reprised.  Ms Newmar, 74, said: "Angelina would own the part. My industry friends tell me she has already made enquiries about the role. I can understand how it would pique her interest. Catwoman is Batman's one true love."

Unfortunately I don’t think there’s an ounce of validity to this.  I'm sure Julie Newmar is a very nice woman but she's not really in a postion to get this kind of information.  A third script, and as of now it’s not even definite there will be one from Nolan, is years from being completed, and there’s no telling what direction it might take.  But of course Jolie would be perfect.  I think a good idea for the movie would be one where Catwoman, I don't know, steals some diamonds or some shit, and then masturbates in the shower for two hours to unwind.  The End.



BAR RAFAELI IS KIND OF CUTE – UPDATE

By brendon July 30, 2008 @ 9:29 AM

Bar Rafaeli is in St Tropez this week, and she better watch out because all the other supermodels must hate her.  She’s so much hotter than everyone one it’s embarrassing.  The only way she could get any more awesome in these pictures is if she morphed into a robot fighting tiger with rockets as feet and beat up some kind of giant monkey.

(picture source = inf daily, updated pics from bauer griffin, UHQ of some of these over on less clothes)



BRUCE WILLIS IS HELPFUL

By brendon July 30, 2008 @ 8:48 AM

It's been pretty hot in SoCal lately, so Bruce Willis was nice enough to dump a bottle of water on some paparazzi as they followed him around yesterday.  It’s important to stay hydrated.  That guy could have very well died if not for Bruce’s quick thinking.  I hope that guy at least offered to reimburse Bruce for his water.  It's just the right thing to do.

YEAH THIS IS A GOOD SIGN

By brendon July 30, 2008 @ 8:26 AM

Bauer Griffin has some pictures up now of Amy Winehouse receiving a shipment of blood this morning, although it's not really clear why.  I assume it's related to her recent hospital stay, but that’s just a guess because I wasn’t even aware that you could just order blood and they’d bring it to you.  "Okay, so I needed blood and now I have a bag of blood and … and now I have no plan."  Is this what socialized medicine is?  Fantastic.  "Here’s some blood.  Good luck."   But at least they labeled it "Urgent Blood".  Um, is there any other kind?  As opposed to what, "Whenever You Get Around To It Blood" or "Just Leave It On The Stoop Blood".



BRITNEY IS A GREAT MOM

By brendon July 30, 2008 @ 7:40 AM

Britney Spears' inept parenting skill are in the spotlight once again today, with the Daily Mail publishing pictures of her young son Sean Preston playing with her cigarettes as Britney smokes just a few feet away.  The Mail says…

Health experts have criticised Britney's 'shocking' behaviour, calling her a 'poor role model' for her children.  It comes a week after Britney officially agreed to give her ex-husband Kevin Federline sole custody of the couple's two sons, Sean Preston and Jayden, 1.  She is currently allowed two visits and one overnight per week in the settlement.
Britney
It is the latest in a string of high-profile parenting dramas for the 26-year-old.
In January this year, she was placed on lockdown for a mental evaluation after she locked herself in a room with Sean Preston at her LA home and refused to hand him over to Federline.
In February 2006, she was caught driving with Sean Preston on her lap with no seat belts and the following month she received a visit from child welfare officers when Sean Preston fell from his high chair, bruising his head.

Is this really a surprise?  Britney’s a white trash idiot.  Of course she’s gonna smoke right in front of her kids.  He’ll be lucky if it stops there.  He’ll be lucky if you don’t see him using a case of Miller Lite as blocks or the washing machine as a fort.  Now she’s moving to Calabasas.  "Honey where are the kids?"  "Oh they’re out on the cliff."  This kid is doomed.  Doomed I tells ya!