russell simmons is the winner

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 6:38 PM

Russell Simmons, Julie Henderson

Julie Henderson and Russell Simmons spent another day at the beach in Miami today, and while Julie is no Marissa Miller, she is a 5’10” blue-eyed blond Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model from Texas (aka – “the White Mans Prize”), so you definitely have to hand it to Russell Simmons.

With that in mind I asked Russell about his technique to scoring with the ladies. Step 1 was: “Have hundreds of millions of dollars”. That was also step 2 and 3. There was no step 4. If someone mentions that you look like a tall version of the baby in Benjamin Button, see step 1.

(9 more here. hq jump here. source = inf and mavrix online)

khloe kardashian is screwed

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 5:53 PM

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Khloe Kardashian (image not available) somehow tricked LA Laker superstar Lamar Odom to run to the alter, but it turns out that only makes him partially dumb, because word is he is still working on his prenup and the marriage won’t be official until Khloe signs it.

He is adamant that all of his assets, including whatever money he makes while married to Khloe, are his, and she will not get a dime when should they divorce. TMZ says…

We’ve learned Odom went to the Beverly Hills law office of divorce-guru Neal Hersh last Friday to hash out the terms. Hersh won’t return our call, but Odom’s people tell us “Lamar has a set of balls” — translation, he’s not giving Khloe half of anything.

Yeah I don’t really care about that. I feel like Darwin watching his big lanky ass prepare to breed with that moose. What I very much do care about is Ashley Greene in a bikini. Therefore, here we have pictures of Ashley Greene in a bikini. As you can tell these are much better than pictures of Khloe, who looks like a learning-disabled boy.

this never happened

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 2:45 PM

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You may think that Mel Gibson was arrested on July 28, 2006, for DUI, during which he made a bunch of anti-Semitic and sexist comments, but you’d be wrong according to the official court documents. Because today Mel successfully had that arrest expunged from his record, for some reason. TMZ says…

Judge Lawrence Mira just signed legal documents in Malibu, expunging the misdemeanor DUI from Mel’s record.
The judge noted the conviction still is relevant for “gun control purposes.” It can also be used as a prior conviction if Gibson gets popped for DUI in the future.
Mel’s lawyer, Blair Berk, requested the motion to dismiss on September 21 after Mel successfully completed the terms of his three-year probation.

This will do a lot to fix his reputation, especially if we all agree to re-do 2005 and pretend nothing since then ever happened. It’ll be fun. I’ll start: boy that Amy Winehouse is a fresh young face, isn’t she. I see good things on the horizon for her.

jon gosselin got yelled at

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 1:52 PM

Nancy Grace makes her living yelling at people, so Jon Gosselin was very definitely gonna get yelled at when they both appeared on the same panel. That much was obvious. What was not obvious was how ruggedly handsome I was going to look in falls new zip-up sweaters and Steven Allen leather-and-wool gloves. Turns out the answer is “very very”.

this is more like it

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 12:46 PM

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Kristen Bell and Malin Akerman walked the red carpet last night for the premiere of ‘Couples Retreat’, which is good news for me because I’ve had a crush on Kristen ever since ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall’. It might be time to make my move. I finally have a plan in place to impress her. How? Simple. Kill … the Batman. Wait. Wait no that’s for something else. Aww god dammit. I don’t have a plan at all, do I?

(hq jump here.  source = splash news online)

the balls on this guy

By brendon October 06, 2009 @ 11:16 AM

Jon Gosselin

Jon Gosselin talked to the press and posed for pictures yesterday while insisting that his wife was the troublemaker and he was just a concerned parent looking out for his kids. He did this poolside in LA by the way, while Kate was talking to the press in New York, and the kids were being taken to school by the nanny back in Pennsylvania. Radar says…

Despite his ongoing troubles with wife Kate, Jon Gosselin was all smiles Monday as he posed for a set of shots by a poolside in Los Angeles, California.
The 32-year-old reality TV dad, clad in a white button-up shirt
, black slacks and sunglasses looked more like a teenaged boy preening for Facebook pics than a father-of-eight.
“I’m not the bad guy here,” he said. “I’m the one trying to protect my children, that’s called being a parent, protecting my children. I need to pull them off the television so we can work this out.”

Can’t we just give the kids to the nanny? The kids seem to like her. Look, they’re smiling and hugging and kissing her. Can Jon even name all 8? If you gave him a pen and told him to name all 8, at best he could name the oldest two, then he would just write “Glasses” and “the one who likes Hamburger” before getting distracted and drawing himself holding two bags with dollar signs on them while girls in bikinis run around.

PICTURED: the 8.  NOT PICTURED: Jon or Kate.  source = splash

is that kelly bensimon?

By brendon October 05, 2009 @ 4:54 PM

Television personality Kelly Bensimon is seen on October 5, 2009

Yep, it sure is Kelly Bensimon! She was at the beach in Miami today and of course the paparazzi jumped at the chance to get some pictures. It’s not every day that you see Kelly Bensimon in a bikini, presumably. Are you surprised? I know I was surprised. If you had said to me last week that one day soon there would be bikini pictures of Kelly Bensimon on Tyler, I would have said you were crazy.  Especially if that was indeed the appropriate response after I looked up who Kelly Bensimon was.

lady gaga is the real thing

By brendon October 05, 2009 @ 2:23 PM

Lady GaGa talks all the time about her wild clothes and explains that they’re merely an extension of who she is, an expression of her creativity, and not some stunt to get attention. And as you can see here on this clip of her pre-fame on some MTV prank show, she’s telling the truth. She’s always been this way. Flip-flops and a scrunchee?!?! Where does she even find this stuff! The moon?!?!