Mel Gibson admits he slapped Oksana Whateverhernameis

By brendon November 15, 2010 @ 2:53 PM

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Mel Gibson’s ex girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva made headlines back in July when she claimed that, during one of their many fights, he punched her, knocking out two of her teeth.

In his defense, Gibson told investigators that his dinner was over 10 minutes late. No not really. He says he never punched her, he slapped her, and only because she was hysterical and endangering their baby.

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Jessica Simpson is engaged

By brendon November 15, 2010 @ 9:59 AM

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Just one week after her ex-husband Nick Lachey got engaged to longtime girlfriend Vanessa Mannillo, Jessica Simpson got engaged to boyfriend Eric Johnson. What a coincidence! Us.com says…

On Saturday, Simpson flashed a sizable ring on her left hand during an appearance at Dillard’s at Oak Park Mall in Kansas City.
The Texas native began dating the former NFL player in May while he was estranged from his first wife, stylist Keri Johnson; their divorce was finalized five months later.
“I met a wonderful man,” Simpson tweeted of Johnson in September. “Damn, I’m lucky.”

“He a futball player,” she went on to tweet. “He big an strong, an cun carry like 10 bags of groceries at once. Trus me, I seen it! Thas when I knew!”

Katy Perry launches her perfume ‘Purr’

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 5:40 PM

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Katy Perry was at Selfridges in London today for the launch of her new perfume in a kitty shaped bottle named Purr. Wait, hold on one second! My girlfriend can smell like an alley cat? Are we allowed to buy more than one!

(image source = wenn)

Joe Diffie was drunk at Subway

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 3:37 PM

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Country music superstar Joe Diffie was drunk to the point of falling down Sunday afternoon at a Subway in Burbank, and HOLY SHIT he looks terrible. He looks so skinny. And black.

When you think about Subway restaurants, you probably don’t think, “Great place to go when you’re super drunk” … unless you’re the ex-leader of the ’90s R&B group Jodeci.
TMZ has learned Donald DeGrate Jr. was arrested at a Subway in Burbank, CA this past weekend … police received a call around 5:00 PM … after DeGrate was sloppily crashing into tables and falling on the floor.
When officers arrived, they arrested the 41-year-old singer for being drunk in public — and hauled him to a nearby jail.

Oohh. Jo-deci. Ok yeah that’s totally different.

Friday headlines

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 2:59 PM

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BATTLE OF LOS ANGELES – has reportedly exceeded studio expectations in a huge way, and now it finally has a full trailer. Here is a cap of what I guess is the monster or alien or whatever. But you know what the real monster is, my friends? Prejudice. (apple)

LINDSAY LOHAN – is so serious about drug rehab that she’s refusing to take painkillers after having teeth removed this week, according to a “source”. As has been stated before, the “source” is always her mom because Lindsay has no friends, and her mom lies with every breath. Lindsay did go to a dentist Tuesday but not to have teeth removed. It was a follow up to when she had wisdom teeth removed in June. Did they grow back? If so that means Lindsay is a crocodile. Granted, that would explain the leathery skin. (radar)

UK MAGAZINES – like Nuts love celebrity tits, and so do I, and so here’s 200 of them. Me and this magazine are like soul mates. We should get married.

Lindsay Lohan is going back to work early

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 12:55 PM

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I think we can all agree that sending someone to jail simply because they committed a series of crimes is uncalled for, so it makes perfect sense that Lindsay Lohan has never paid any kind of price for her 5 year crime spree. Instead she goes shopping all day near the Betty Ford clinic. Except for when she’s doing photo shoots.

TMZ has learned … Lindsay Lohan will be a working girl once more … she’s doing a big photo shoot next week, with the blessing of her counselors at the Betty Ford Clinic.
The shoot is another sign that Lindsay is doing well in rehab.  The counselors have approved her recent outings as well as the shoot next week.
Lindsay is now living in a sober house which is part of Betty Ford, as a transition to life after rehab.

This has gotten so predictable it’s not even fun anymore. She tricks the judges, tricks the rehab, then a month later she’ll shit on Sam Ronsons car and use it to write JUDAS on her windshield. Actually that would be pretty entertaining but you get the point.

two of the Gosselin kids have been expelled from school

By brendon November 12, 2010 @ 11:39 AM

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Wait, so, the Gosselin kids are acting out? Similar to what kids would do if they’d never had any decent parenting? Oh, gosh. No way.

According to reports from In Touch, Collin and Alexis have been expelled from their Pennsylvania private school and are now being homeschooled.
“They’ve fought with their peers, called them nasty names and made fun of other kids,” a source close to the family told the magazine. “The things they are saying are not words they should know. They are learning them somewhere — but Jon doesn’t know where.”
The source also said that some of the eight kids are having “rage issues”.

Rage issues? Profanity? Name calling? Well knock me down with a feather. I haven’t been this surprised since I stirred a bucket of shaved glass and bleach with my dick. Turns out it burns! Wwhhaaatt?!?!

Afternoon headlines

By brendon November 11, 2010 @ 6:17 PM

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JESSICA SIMPSON – says that, despite reports to the contrary, she’s “extremely, extremely happy” about Nick Lacheys engagement to Vanessa Minnillo. When asked for a comment, Jessica said, “I assume there will be cake at the wedding, is that correct?” When asked for a more specific comment, she said, “The cake goes in my tummy.” (us.com)

TRAVIS PASTRANA – who has 16 XGames gold medals, 2 motocross championships and the last 4 rally car championships, is moving to NASCAR in 2011 to drive for the newly formed Pastrana-Waltrip Racing team. Sounds to me like he only got the gig because of nepotism. (twitter)

VETERANS DAY – is today, and while many know about heroes like Salvatore Giunta (who will receive the Medal of Honor 5 days from today, the first living recipient since Vietnam) or Marine sniper Carlos Hathcock (ever hear the story about a sniper who shot another sniper through his own scope? That was Carlos), here’s 8 other animals who should be as famous. What they lack in notoriety, they make up for in video-game like killing power. (uproxx)

ALESSANDRA AMBROSIO – was of course the hottest one at last nights Victorias Secret fashion show, because she’s the single most perfect looking girl on earth ever. I would fuck this girls shoe.