Guess who drove away Tony Romo

By brendon July 14, 2009 @ 2:06 PM

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Whenever a thousand different people all say the same thing about one particular person, it’s probably because they’ve all conspired against him and are making up a bunch of crazy stories.  Like all the ones you hear about Joe Simpson interfering with Jessica and driving her life right into the ground.  If that were true, wouldn’t he have ruined her relationship with Tony Romo?

Oh wait nevermind.  Fox News says…

Jessica’s manager/father Joe Simpson’s meddling ways most likely took its toll on the relationship, which is the reason why they split the first time fourteen months ago. We’re told Joe promised he’d take a step back when the couple reunited but he was still too involved in his daughter’s private life.  “At one point Joe was even giving Tony football advice which doesn’t go down well,” said an insider.

God this dude is dumb as a rock.  Jess can be super hot.  She has a huge rack and a sweet endearing personality.  If “Jessica” and “A Successful Career” were part of a puzzle, they would be the only two pieces, and they would both be identical red squares.  And Joes job would be to push them together.  And that’s it.  Instead when you check on him 5 hours later, one of the pieces has been drawn on with a marker and folded into a little tent, and the other piece is missing but Joe is quickly chewing something and trying to swallow before telling you where it is.

Debbie Rowe just made 4m (update)

By brendon July 14, 2009 @ 12:10 PM

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Debbie Rowe, the, um, mother(?) for Michael Jackson’s two oldest kids has agreed to not seek custody. In exchange she has been assured that legal safeguards will be put in place to ensure the kids are raised in a safe and healthy environment. I’m lying of course. She got 4 million dollars, bringing her total payday to well over 20. The New York Post says…

The family isn’t happy about the mega-payout but they consider it a necessary evil, the source said.
“They felt it was like a ransom-type thing. [Rowe] jumped back into the picture because she wanted money,” the friend said.

The Jacksons are right to be disgusted by her greed and a desire to profit from Michael’s death. Now for no reason at all let’s jump to the bottom of the article:

Joe Jackson is reportedly pushing his dead son’s children to form a new group, The Jackson 3.
But “that’s something the family would absolutely not tolerate,” the source said.
Jacko’s five remaining brothers were filming an A&E pilot for what they hoped would be a reality series about them launching a reunion tour.
While the five initially agreed to be paid a total of between $200,000 and $300,000 for the pilot, they now want to add footage of Michael’s funeral into the mix — and boost their take to “between $10 million and $20 million,” the family source said.

Aw these kids are so screwed. I would sooner leave my kid under water for 30 minutes than alone with the Jacksons.

DECEPTIVE UPDATE – or maybe all that was a lie, according to her lawyers and e! online.

Bam

By brendon July 14, 2009 @ 10:45 AM

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Kim Kardashian was the flag girl yesterday for the Pepsi Max Bullrun race, a seemingly illegal 1700 mile road race from NYC to a secret location in Texas. As if there was any doubt this was New York. Look at all those guineas standin around, ready to pounce on her, like a bunch of lions watching a limping gazelle. Of course I would too because she looks terrific. I wish I was beautiful with huge tits and no dignity, because standing still in a bodysuit and occasionally shifting a flag from right to left seems like something I could do.

(49 more pics here. hq jump here)

Michael Jackson was gay

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 7:48 PM

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The image of Michael Jackson fondling some little kid is repulsive of course, but is it the worst image ever or just kind of weird and super inappropriate? Yesterday it would have been the worst thing ever, but this morning the Sun had an article describing him licking another mans penis and having gay sex in dirty Las Vegas motels, so how can that not be number 1?

A new book insists “virtually everybody” around him knew he was gay.
One (lover) met him for liaisons at a grungy motel which was all the debt-ridden star could afford.
And one told Halperin (the author): “The very first time he had sex with me he said, ‘The King of Pop’s going to lick your lollipop’. I still laugh thinking about that.”
Halperin said: “Virtually everybody has told me. Even those who are his most ardent defenders, people who maintain he is innocent of the molestation charges, insist that he is homosexually inclined.”
He claims the two lovers he traced were a Hollywood waiter and an aspiring actor, “Lawrence”.
“He was very shy. But when he started to have sex, he was insatiable.”
Halperin says Jackson was known to slip out to a motel for gay sex in 2007 when he had moved to Las Vegas.
He reportedly fell in love with a burly half-Asian in his early 20s.
Halperin alleges: “He rarely left his residence, but when he did, according to one of Jackson’s closest confidants, it was to meet a boyfriend at a run-down motel.”
A source tells the book: “He met a construction worker and fell madly in love with him.
“Michael would leave the house in disguise, often dressed as a woman, and would go to meet his boyfriend at a motel that was one of Vegas’ grungiest dives.
“Michael was broke. It was all he could afford then.”

You know Michael was no master criminal if his idea of a disguise was dressing like a woman. A wig, foundation, lipstick, skintight pants with rhinestone shoes. It’s not a disguise if you just pick things out of your closet.

And what does Marissa Miller naked in GQ have to do with gay sex. Absolutely nothing, thank fucking god. 13 pics of her really topless here just to make sure.

Brendan Fraser has still got it

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 5:56 PM

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Fame Pictures has these pictures of hunky actor Brendan Fraser in LA today, and the caption reads: “Brendan Fraser shows off quite a large belly as he walks around town on July 13, 2009.” Then in the second to last picture, they thankfully put a big red circle around his stomach. I assume they’re being sarcastic. Or they’re crossing their fingers that people don’t still miss it, and right now are getting some pretty models to stand on either side of him and gesture towards his stomach like at car shows.

Jessica Simpson is single

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 4:11 PM

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Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo plays in big games like he has lobster claws for hands, so it’s no surprise that he would screw things up beyond all comprehension when it came time to part ways with Jessica Simpson. Star magazine says…

Jessica Simpson didn’t get an engagement ring for her 29th birthday on Friday — instead she got dumped by Tony Romo!
Tony, who dated Jess for a year and a half, broke up with her on Thursday, the night before her birthday.

It’s true Jess is sort of a mess these days, but I blame this nerd for that. Both she and the Dallas offense were in much better shape two years ago. Look how hot she was in that see thru dress. Also keep in mind she can do this with her tongue. She’d be the perfect gf right now; super motivated to get back in shape, and all you have to do is not set her on fire and you’ll be a huge improvement over the last guy.

(11 more pics here. hq jump here)

Morning headlines

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 12:40 PM

BRUNO – as expected won the box office this weekend, pulling in $30.4m in it’s debut. That’s way less than the 50m some Hollywood insiders were suggesting on Friday, but keep in mind, no one in Hollywood has any idea what the fuck they’re talking about. (variety)

MICHAEL JACKSON – as far back as 1993 Jackson was having doctors issue prescriptions in other people names to score pain killers for him. In a related story, I had to go to 2 different doctors to get 2 percent hydrocortisone cream after stepping in poison oak. You rich people can suck my dick. (source = tmz)

UFC – picked a new ring girl this weekend as part of UFC 100. Her name is Natasha, and she’s adorable but not as hot as Arianny Celeste. Actually, who cares, LOOK AT DAN HENDERSON! 4 seconds after the great Joe Rogan says if Michael Bisping keeps drifting left he’s gonna get annihilated, Michael Bisping drifts left and gets annihilated. If Henderson hit him any harder, Bisping would have just burst into flames. (source = splash news online)

Vanessa loves being naked

By brendon July 13, 2009 @ 10:17 AM

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Two years ago, “High School Musical” star Vanessa Hudgens was in the news because full-frontal naked pictures she took for boyfriend Zac Efron ended up online. Like at the bottom of this post for example. And today there’s good news for fancy gentleman like myself who have studied every inch of those pictures as if they were the Shroud of Turin. E! says:

…in May, the 20-year-old told E! News she would “show nudity in a film when the time is right.” Apparently, that time is now.
Supposedly, she told the U.K.’s Metro she’ll be stripping down for her role as a hooker in the upcoming Zack Snyder flick, Sucker Punch.
“I’m playing a character named Blondie and it’s set in a brothel in the 1950s, so there’s not a whole lot of clothes,” she teased.

None of this is really “news” of course, I just like looking at those naked pictures she took. It’s like I’m her secret lover.