monday morning headlines

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 1:28 PM

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INCEPTION - made $60 million to easily win the weekend box office. ‘Despicable Me’ was in second with 32.7m, and ‘the Sorcerers Apprentice’ was third with a disappointing 17m. But don’t panic Hollywood. People can’t get enough movies about a kid who thinks they’re ordinary until an eccentric stranger arrives and teaches them to use their untapped magic powers. I see no reason to stop making those. (variety)

WHITNEY HOUSTON - spends over 6 grand a week on cocaine, over 325 grand a year, and she could be dead in a year according to worried friends and an even more worried coke dealer. (enquirer)

TIGER WOODS - pouts like a little girl when things don’t go his way, so naturally he threw a hissyfit at the British Open Saturday before finishing in 23rd place. It was right after he missed a 2 foot putt that any toddler could make even if they were blindfolded and held the club upside down. Then he acted like it was the courses fault. Yeah that must be it Tiger. That hole has a strict Whites Only policy. (huff post)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD - turned 23 on Friday, and this weekend she celebrated in Vegas at Wet Republic with Kellan Lutz from ‘Twilight’. She looked pretty weird actually, and he’s genuinely ugly. If these two ever have a baby there’s a good chance one of the nurses would beat it with a bible. (splash)

katy perry is in a bikini

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 10:28 AM

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Katy Perry was in the Bahamas this weekend for a concert at Atlantis, and yesterday she and her huge jugs spent the day in a bikini at the resorts massive water park, as my neighbors already know because of all my delighted screaming.

(source = mavrix online)

paris hilton is topless, in trouble for weed again

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 8:28 AM

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It might be stupid that marijuana is illegal in most countries, but it is, so you have to be smart if you want to carry some when you travel. Needless to say Paris Hilton is dumb as a rock, so she’s been detained twice this month in foreign countries for possession. First at the World Cup in South Africa on July 2nd, and then again Friday in Corsica. The Daily Mail says…

“Hilton was taken aside as she landed at Figari. She was searched in a secure area of the airport police station and an amount of cannabis that weighed less than a gram, was found in her handbag.”
“Due to the small amount of the substance, she was cautioned to not travel with drugs then released within an hour with no criminal charges. The drug was confiscated and destroyed.”

The next day she no doubt destroyed some more on this yacht off the coast of Sardinia, where she lounged around topless for a while. These pictures show the only way Paris Hilton is even tolerable; blurry, naked, and in international waters so you can tie her to a rock and throw her overboard.

(source = inf daily)

lindsay lohan is doing great

By brendon July 19, 2010 @ 5:30 AM

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Lindsay Lohan hasn’t been on twitter in almost a week, but last night she signed on to make sure that her dad won’t come around with his negativity and wreck all the momentum she has going lately.

In a completely unrelated story, tomorrow Lindsay has to surrender to police and begin her 90 day jail sentence. Actually she’s still trying to get out of jail and doesn’t really believe she’s going according to TMZ, because why would she? She’s in a great place. Everything is fine, and it’s all her dads fault. He’s behind all this. He’s also a merman, and he records our fingerprints and tracks us with satellites so his army of dragons will know where to strike.

josh hartnett doesn’t deserve this

By brendon July 16, 2010 @ 6:10 PM

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Josh Hartnett and his girlfriend Romina Ferrera are in Ischia, Italy this week and even though she’s not hot and her banner picture has the smallest ‘censored’ tag ever seen on this page (*), he still doesn’t deserve to be in Italy dating a girl who wears slutty bikinis and casually flashes her breasts. In every movie that mumbling jackoff has ever been in it looks like his character is an old Chinese man. In “Pearl Harbor” I couldn’t even tell what side he was on.

(*) compare it to the one on Mareline, which could be pulled behind a plane to advertise the site yet still doesn’t cover her breasts.

oksana might be lying about mel gibson, part 2

By brendon July 16, 2010 @ 4:44 PM

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Mel Gibsons ex girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva has been saying that her dentist can attest to the fact that she had broken teeth and bruises on her face, the result of a violent fight with Mel. This is apparently news to the dentist. TMZ says…

Dr. Shelden saw no evidence Oksana was struck in the mouth. 
Oksana told Sheriff’s deputies Mel Gibson struck her in the mouth twice, knocking one tooth out and chipping another.

Although Dr. Shelden sees no evidence of a strike to the mouth … (he) believes Oksana was struck in the left temple, which caused her to bite down so hard, one veneer was completely knocked out and another was damaged. 
Oksana’s teeth were fully intact … (her) charts reflect two bite marks on the inside of the lower lip.  The doctor says there was no swelling or bruising consistent with a punch to the mouth but believes instead the bite marks are consistent with “a chain reaction” after allegedly being hit in the temple. 



Now this is just confusing because two days ago TMZ said this very same dentist, “wrote a sworn declaration in which he says Oksana not only told him Mel had hit her … but he was so concerned for her safety he offered to let her stay at his home.”

I guess maybe Oksana just said he wrote that, and was lying, because, short of adding a car chase and a wish granting donkey, these two stories could not be more in direct conflict with one another.

tyler has sexy readers

By brendon July 16, 2010 @ 4:03 PM

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Page views die on Friday afternoons, so the new plan was for the sexiest girl readers to take pictures for a contest. But then this 20-year-old French student named Mareline sent pictures, and suddenly everyone agreed that a contest was an offensive waste of time. Even being a girl now seems like a complete waste of time unless you get to be Mareline. Why bother when she’s out there? Even if she died today she’d still be the hottest one for at least a month.

oksana might be lying about mel gibson

By brendon July 16, 2010 @ 1:20 PM

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Just when it seemed there was no possible salvation for Mel Gibsons reputation, things suddenly changed yesterday and now there’s a growing number of stories suggesting his ex has been manipulating evidence or even outright lying. Like this expert who told PopEater she edited the now famous audio tapes…

Arlo E. West, president and CEO of Creative Forensic Services, INC., and one of the nation’s leading certified forensic audio and video experts, tells PopEater that the Gibson tapes are altered copies. West, who has listened to all of the tapes, says there are gaps and fading — which are “red flags” that the recordings have been altered and therefore “cannot be considered accurate.” He’s also convinced Oksana had professional help to edit the tapes together from a string of conversations.

This morning Radar revealed a picture of Oksana (*) that she says is proof Gibson punched her teeth out. It’s pretty conclusive evidence, or at least it would be if it wasn’t fake. TMZ says…

(Oksanas dentist, who treated her after Mel allegedly punched her) is saying, “The nose is not hers.  The lips are not right.  It’s not a true and accurate picture.  It has definitely been altered.”

And maybe most helpful of all was Mels ex-wife defending him in court yesterday, saying…

“Mel never engaged in any physical abuse of any kind toward me before, during or after our marriage. Mel was a wonderful and loving father.”

None of this changes the stuff Mel clearly said on the tape, but there’s a pretty big leap between saying mean shit on the phone when you’re drunk and actually punching a girl in the face. That’s probably the most damaging thing a girl could ever say about a guy. The only thing that would be worse is saying he can’t get an erection and then cries about it. And if Jennifer told you that, she was lying. She’s just mad because I gave it to her so good and then dumped her.

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