morning headlines

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 11:16 AM


MACUALAY CULKIN – is reportedly the biological father of Blanket, Michael Jacksons 7-year-old son. Culkin allegedly donated sperm to Michael when he was 21. Yeah I bet he did. It sounds like the cops showed up one day and Michael had to explain why there was a bowl of a young boys semen in his fridge. (source = the sun)

VICTORIA BECKHAM – went to the gym this weekend with no makeup. Still looked hot though. Natural beauties like me and Victoria don’t need makeup. (daily mail)

CURRENT SONG – ‘Show Me’ from Mint Royale with Pos from De La Soul. If this song doesn’t make you shake your ass, you’ve been dead for at least an hour. And the video features a flying Japanese kitty. Look out for those trees flying Japanese kitty! (youtube)

ANNALYNNE MCCORD – hosted at the Wet Republic pool this weekend in Vegas, but just because her swimsuit was boring and her poses were stupid is no reason to skip these pictures. Actually now that I think it that’s a perfectly good reason to skip these. Next! (10 more here. hq jump here. source = splash)

DJ AM died of an overdose

By brendon August 31, 2009 @ 10:00 AM

dj am billboard 300809

The death of DJ AM is unofficially being considered an overdose, not a suicide, but let’s dogpile onto the sadness because the reason he was taking so many drugs was because he became addicted to the anti-anxiety medicine Xanax, and this led to a relapse into other drugs. Xanax was prescribed to him because he had to fly all over the world for his job, and he developed a near crippling anxiety over flying after he was almost burned alive in a plane crash last September. Seems reasonable.

AM, a recovering addict, developed a dependency to Xanax and other benzodiazepines (a group of drugs used to treat anxiety) as a direct result of the plane crash a year ago … doctors began prescribing Xanax and other anti-anxiety medications to relieve his fear, but the benzos triggered a relapse into addiction. We’re told benzos are particularly dicey for recovering addicts.
DJ AM’s relapse was “recent” — he was not abusing for a prolonged period of time before his death.
We’re also told the OD had “absolutely nothing to do with his recent breakup.”
Our sources say the evidence strongly indicates cause of death will be a combination of crack cocaine and benzos.

Last year AM talked to Glamour magazine about his profound drug and food addictions that lasted from his teens to his mid 20′s. His depression led to suicide attempts and before gastric bypass surgery in 2003, he weighed 324 pounds. That interview was in January of 2008, and at the time it had been nine and a half years since he’d done drugs or had a drink. 9 months later he was in the plane crash, less than two years later he was dead of a drug overdose.

I’d like to hear what Kelly Preston and Jenna Elfman have to say about this. Why do people waste time with so called “medicine” when Scientology can fix you permanently?

DJ AM has died

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 8:39 PM


Adam Goldstein, more commonly known as DJ AM, was found dead this afternoon in New York City from an apparent drug overdose. He was 36-years-old.  Here’s a rough time line of the events so far:

- at around 5pm, a male friend who hadn’t been able to reach him went to AMs apartment.
- when the friend arrived, AM could be seen lying motionless on the floor.
- 911 was called at 5:23pm.
- the New York City Fire Department arrived within minutes and broke down AMs door.
- drug paraphernalia, including pipes used for smoking illegal drugs, were found around the body.
- he was pronounced dead on the scene.

Radar Online is reporting that AM was having a hard time getting off pain medication that he began taking after his near-fatal plane crash this time last year.  Although maybe more telling is that he was friends with Mary Kate Olsen.  Just like Heath Ledger.  That little goblin might be the angel of death.

Kelly Brook is number 1

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 6:04 PM

Kelly Brook

I wish I had known about this photo shoot that Kelly Brook did for the new Loaded magazine, because in some of the pictures she has a cigarette in her mouth, and I’d go buy a little tiger striped kitten and I’d be like, “Hey Kelly Brook, I know your modeling but I just rescued this little kitten from a house with monsters and I don’t think it should be around cigarette smoke”.  And she’d be all like, “oh my god you’re so sweet. And brave too. Monsters are scary.” And I’d say, “Yes they are scary.” 

And then after that I guess I’d head home.  It’s getting pretty late.

Michaels death ruled a homicide

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 4:34 PM

dhn JACKSON 1280

Hey did you hear that Michael Jackson died? No for real. And today the Los Angeles County coroner officially ruled his death a homicide, saying a lethal dose of the sedative propofol directly caused his death. In part the statement said:

“Cause of death was established as acute propofol intoxication. Other conditions contributing to death: benzodiazepine. The drugs propofol and Lorazepam were found to be the primary drugs responsible for Mr. Jackson’s death. Other drugs detected were midazolam, diazepam, lidocaine, and ephedrine.”

The LA Times explains that “homicide refers to a death at the hand of another person,” but that does not mean the person responsible will be charged with homocide. Dr. Conrad Murray, Jackson’s personal physician and the one who administered the drugs that killed Jackson, is the primary target of a manslaughter investigation. Why him? Well there’s this…

(On the morning Jackson died) Murray administered the sedatives Valium, lorazepam and midazolam — five times over six hours. But none put Jackson to sleep and he continued to demand propofol.
Murray said he finally relented and at 10:40 a.m. added the drug to Jackson’s intravenous drip. That dose — mixed with the cocktail of other sedatives — was enough to kill him.

In the doctors defense, why do they make these names so confusing. Benza-whata-what? I’m not a Navajo Indian or from outer space, can I just have what it is and then a number?  Please.  Sedative 1, Sedative 2, and so on. 1 is a little. 10 is a lot. I could call poison control with a bottle of benzodiazepine in my hand, but when they ask what I took, I’m as good as dead. “Benz… Benzo-die-a, dee-a, is it dee-a, or die-a, benzodee-a… z? Is that another Z? What kind of word has two Z’s? This is a bunch of goddamn gibberish. It sounds like I’m casting a spell over here! What the hell did you people give me!”

Megan Hauserman seems nice

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 12:32 PM

Megan Hauserman

I can’t host it here, but back in 2007, when Megan Hauserman was a contestant on ‘Beauty and the Geek’, a picture went around that showed a blond, reportedly Megan, on her knees giving oral. Is it really her? Maybe. Look it was two years ago, and I’m not good with names.  She might have said “Megan”, who knows.

UNSEXY UPDATE – image removed by request

We are so screwed

By brendon August 28, 2009 @ 9:12 AM


Seeing bears scale walls on ladders puts us one step from living in “the Golden Compass”, where armored bears form an army of indestructible killing machines, but at least their discovery of this Rosetta Stone, the key to unlocking new ways to catch and eat us, was a random accident that couldn’t be avoided.

A bear that got stuck in a skateboard park climbed up a ladder to make its escape. The animal had been stuck in the sunken skating bowl overnight and could not get up the steep-sided concrete walls on its own. Officials in the town of Snowmass, Colorado lowered down a long ladder, which the bear walked across before heading back to the woods. The bear was uninjured by its experience.

Well Jesus don’t teach the bears how to climb ladders! We need those walls, to separate the bears from our succulent arms and legs. What’s the second part of your plan, coat doorknobs in honey? Jesus Fuckin Christ, I’m scared to even turn around right now, one of these new Super Bears may have snuck up behind me.

(hq jump here. source = splash news online)

FUKK THOSE BEARS UPDATE – luckily the great Jimmy Norton of the Opie and Anthony show has a plan to deal with the bears (very NSFW language).  Does it involve flame-throwers? Of course it does. Why wouldn’t it.

Read more >

Mischa Barton is a bad liar

By brendon August 27, 2009 @ 6:08 PM


Mischa Barton tells People magazine that the reason she was 5150′d last month, meaning she was held against her will for at least 72 hours pending a psychiatric evaluation after police deemed her to have a mental disorder that made her a danger to her self or others, is because her tooth hurt.

You know. Her tooth. That’s why the cops thought she was insane/suicidal. Because she had a tooth ache. They should change this law. Last year I was sent to Guantanamo Bay after I ate some ice cream too fast.

Barton explained that the unspecified “medical issues” that led to her hospitalization at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center July 15 were the result of stress from her various work commitments compounded by pain incurred from having her wisdom teeth removed.
“It was like a perfect storm, like everything was happening to me at once,” the thesp told the magazine. “The show, travel and then this fairly routine surgery that went wrong—it’s still just healing. But I had to get through it without proper painkillers because I couldn’t take those during work. So it’s been a nightmare.”

What zoo veterinarian did she go to where she’s worried that she can’t take the pain killers given to her after having a tooth removed? It’s Tylenol 3, not a rifle filled with anesthesia.