Henifaa Yopez is trying to bring harem pants back

By brendon May 04, 2011 @ 4:06 PM

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Finally, Jennifer Lopez has found a way to draw attention to her ass. AOL says, “Just when we thought harem pants had seen their last days, Jennifer Lopez stepped out to Hollywood’s Hard Rock Cafe on Tuesday wearing a pair.”

These have a few different names, so when you go to buy some for yourself, just ask the salesgirl for the pants that look like a bunched up diaper. “I’m gonna hit some clubs and I want to look incontinent,” you can say.

(image source = fame)

as expected, Mariah Carey gave her kids dumb names

By brendon May 04, 2011 @ 2:01 PM

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Mariah Carey gave birth to twins over the weekend, but so far she and her husband Nick Cannon have been real coy about revealing their names. Until now. I don’t know about you, but I’m on pins and needles.

CNN says…

Their son is named Moroccan Scott Cannon. Scott is Nick’s middle name, as well as his grandmother’s maiden name.
The top tier of Mariah’s New York City apartment is called the Moroccan Room, because of the Moroccan-inspired decor.

Their daughter’s name is Monroe Cannon. Mariah’s rep says she does not have a middle name because Mariah herself does not have one. Monroe was named after Marilyn Monroe, who has been an inspiration to Mariah her whole life.

Oh Jesus Christ. Moroccan Cannon? He might as well be named Push Me In The Mud Puddle Cannon. At best he sounds like a firework, at worst a vibrator. Oh, but I’m sure once he explains he’s named after his grandmother and a decor, the other kids will change that to, “a vibrator for men” and adjust their insults and punches accordingly.

oh my god

By brendon May 04, 2011 @ 12:39 PM

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Kelly Brook is in a bikini on the June cover of the UK edition of Esquire, which goes on sale tomorrow, and that’s more noteworthy than usual because in March she announced that she’s pregnant. The good news is she did this shoot before she began to show, and the even better news is she told The Sun she has no plans to marry the father. Kelly said…

“I think having a baby with someone is a greater commitment.”

Well, I think my grandfather would disagree. “You can’t drown a marriage certificate,” he used to always say.

Jennifer Love Chew It is single

By brendon May 04, 2011 @ 11:39 AM

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Gosh, well there’s a sentence I never thought I’d see again.

After nearly a year together, Jennifer Love Hewitt has parted ways with beau Alex Beh, her rep confirms to Us Weekly.
Back in February, all was well. “He buys me flowers every day,” she said. “Ever since we met. Every single day — I’m serious! He’ll either give me a bouquet, or handpick one. So sweet!”
(And she told) told Ellen DeGeneres in January that she she has three Tiffany engagement rings picked out — just in case.
“I actually have three because I feel like I’m doing the guy a favor,” she said. “I feel like I don’t want to be upset if he picks a bad ring.”

So she’s packed on 50 pounds, goes out in sweatpants with no make-up, AND suffocates her boyfriends with unrelenting pressure to get married? Well then why is she single? Guys love those things. All I can think is that maybe she didn’t blow enough of his friends. Other than that, she’s doing everything right.

Tuesday headlines, with Miley Cyrus vs. Elaine Benes

By brendon May 03, 2011 @ 11:05 PM

MILEY CYRUS – showed what a good dancer she is in concert, but how does she compare to Elaine Benes? The answer is clear: Miley Cyrus is the finest dancer of our generation. (youtube)

TREY PARKER AND MATT STONE – created ‘South Park’ of course, and if you don’t know they have a new play on Broadway called ‘The Book of Mormon’, and today it received 14 Tony nominations, the most of any play. It could be the best thing I have no intention of ever seeing. (popeater)

THE NEXT JAMES BOND MOVIE – will receive $45 million for product-placement, more than twice as much as the previous record holder (Lexus, Bulgari and American Express paid $20M to be in ‘Minority Report’). So expect dialogue like: “They’re right behind us James!” “Not for long, thanks to the smooth responsive handling of the all new BMW 5, whose standard rear view camera makes escaping a breeze.” (the australian)

KAT DENNINGS – is in ‘Thor’, and last night she was at the premiere at the El Capitan in L.A. Did you know her name, Kat, is short for Katherine? That is so neat and clever I thought I’d put some of her pictures up. And also because she has huge jugs. (getty)

Lindsay Lohan may or may not avoid all jail time

By brendon May 03, 2011 @ 6:59 PM

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The bad news is that TMZ says Lindsay Lohan might not spend one day in jail, despite the fact that a judge sentenced her to 120 days for violating her probation. The good news is they base this on something that isn’t even remotely true.

…for non-violent, misdemeanor offenses, the Sheriff’s Department routinely allows inmates to serve their time at home, provided they wear an electronic monitoring device.
Judge Stephanie Sautner has made it clear — Lindsay will be treated just like any other defendant, and people in Lindsay’s shoes simply don’t get put behind bars.

Actually people in Lindsay’s shoes get put behind bars all the time. In 2007 Paris Hilton was pulled over for speeding and driving on a suspended license, which was a violation of her probation that she got for a DUI. The judge gave her 45 days in jail, the sheriff let her out after 5 to serve the rest at home with an electronic monitor, and the next day the judge sent her back (update: the city attorney tells Radar essentially the same thing).

So Lindsay can very definitely be stuck in jail for this. The big question is, will she? It’s also a rhetorical question, because how the hell should I know. Who am I, Mr. Owl?

bin Laden is photogenic

By brendon May 03, 2011 @ 3:39 PM

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On Thursday, Time magazine will run a cover showing Osama bin Laden stamped with a red X, because yesterday SEAL Team 6 kicked in the door of his bedroom and shot him in his fucking face. It’s similar to the covers announcing the death of Adolf Hitler in 1945, Saddam Hussein in 2003, and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi in 2006.

And if you think that picture is delightful, you’ll love the death photo Drudge says is on the way, and CNN says he’s been a regular little supermodel lately, posing at least 3 times. The sets include:

1. Bin Ladens body at a hangar after he was brought back to Afghanistan. This is the most recognizable with a clear picture of his face. The picture is gruesome because he has a massive open head wound across both eyes. It’s very bloody and gory.
2. The burial at sea on the USS Carl Vinson. Photos of bin Laden before the shroud was put on and then wrapped in the shroud.
3. The raid itself that include photos of the two dead brothers, one of bin Ladens dead son (adult adolescent, maybe approx 18 yrs old) and some of the inside scene of the compound.

Please tell me someone thought to bring Lynndie England, cigarettes and dog collars.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is reportedly hot, naked

By brendon May 03, 2011 @ 2:37 PM

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This is embarrassing but clearly I was wrong in thinking that Rosie Huntington-Whiteley is actually kind of goofy looking because she’s number 1 on the 2011 Maxim Hot 100, and sorta naked on the cover. And obviously Maxim knows what they’re doing because number 4 on the list is Cameron Diaz, even though she looks like this and could kill an erection faster than slamming it in a car door.

(image source of rosie and her boyfriend jason statham last night at the costume institute gala in new york = splash and wenn)