‘War Horse’ has a new full length trailer out today (HD copies here), and I just want to say once again that Steven Speilberg can go fuck himself. I’ll admit that this worked on me but only because I’m a malleable simpleton, not because it’s a good movie. Here’s the plot:
ACT 1: A boy has a horse that he loves very much. ACT 2: Speilberg spends 2 hours threatening to kill it. ACT 3: He doesn’t. Or maybe he does. “Ooo, look, I’m taking the audience on an emotional roller coaster.” No, you’re not. You’re just a manipulative dick.
I bet there was only one storyboard to map out this entire movie and it looked like this. That’s supposed to be an Academy Award in Spielbergs hand, by the way, but I can’t draw so it sorta looks like the NBA trophy or a butt plug, which may or may not be a part of Hollywood pitch meetings for all I know. Also you could argue that it wasn’t necessary to include a Star of David on his hat. Things got a little bigoted there at the end.
Despite the fact that Chaz Bono has received the lowest scores from the judges for the past two weeks, it was reality “star” (and I use that term in the loosest possible sense) Kristin Cavallari who got voted off of ‘Dancing With The Stars’ last night.
“Um, I’m a little surprised to be honest,” Kristin said. “But I’ve had such a great time and it’s been an awesome experience. So, you know, it is what it is.”
Yeah dipshit, I sure do. What it is is that you lost a popularity contest to a 300 pound transgender monstrosity. I see now why MTV keeps giving new shows to such a dynamic personality. (yahoo)
A few months ago Megan Fox announced that she was having the tat of Marilyn Monroe on her forearm removed, and when she had breakfast with her husband in LA this morning, we could see that things are coming along nicely. Though now it’s spookier than ever because it looks like the ghost of Marilyn Monroe with lifeless dead eyes. Great, now I’m scared! Thanks a lot stupid Megan!
She feels anxious ahead of premieres and live interviews and she’s sought professional help to combat her issues.
“That’s been such a great tool, and my therapist told me that I passed with flying colors, but we’ll see how things go.”
“Hey I’m gonna go do this interview with Glamour and tell them about my therapy for panic attacks. Hopefully it’s been working, but if you see me twitching on the floor in half an hour, that’ll probably be why.”
It’s always awesome to see when a new show that does something really different becomes popular, because then other networks will blatantly try to copy it. And even though it never ever works, they never stop doing it. In a very much related story, EW says that ‘Mad Men’ rip off ‘The Playboy Club’ was cancelled by NBC today after just 3 episodes. They should have just called it, ‘The Pandering Trend Show’.
Johnny Depp tells Vanity Fair this month that he doesn’t like photo shoots very much, and by that I mean he compares them to being raped.
“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped … It feels like a kind of weird — just weird, man.” He’ll pose with fans, “But whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like — you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.”
It would be easy to say he was exaggerating, but many photographers are gay, and Depp, though an astoundingly nice guy that everyone likes, doesn’t seem all that smart. Someone should get some puppets and go have Johnny explain EXACTLY what the photographer had him do.
Just in case anyone in Edinburgh, England, wasn’t aware that this is breast cancer awareness month, Liz Hurley went to Estee Lauder’s Breast Cancer Awareness campaign yesterday and promptly made sure that everyone was aware of breasts. This is why I’m trying to convince Liz I’m not aware of blowjobs. (image source = splash)
Blake Lively and Leonardo DiCaprio started dating about 5 months ago, but have now reportedly broken up (for real this time). There doesn’t seem to be any dramatic reason for it, no one cheated or anything like that, it’s just that girls in Hollywood are interchangeable and disposable. It really is a delightful industry for women to work in. (us magazine)