Lindsay Lohans party got her drug tested

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 1:45 PM


Lindsay Lohan wore this smart little outfit as she made her 11th court appearance in 13 months today, just before 10am pct, after failing an alcohol test that was given to her last week (despite previous reports that she was not being tested while under house arrest).

The awesome part is that she was just 6 days from being released and free and clear to do whatever she wants. All she had to do was not drink for 30 days, but she doesn’t give a fuck what judges tell her to do and so she drank. And yes, she just spent 90 days in rehab at the Betty Ford Center, but she drank then too so of she course she’s still drinking now.

And awesome gets awesomer because it might have been her arrogance that gets her sent to jail. Popeater says…

It is reported that the Probation Department is also angry that Lohan has been hosting parties while under house arrest.

That would be the party she held on the roof of her Venice Beach condo while she was supposed to be in jail. The Probation Department saw those photos just like everyone else, and arrived to give her a test a day later. So at least someone in the LA justice system does something other than rape my sweetly innocent belief in equality.

NOTE: there are no cameras in the court room today, and the judge has ordered all electronic devices to be turned off, so no reporters from the court room can give updates. There are sketch artists and one photographer inside. As of 11:15am pct, the hearing has yet to begin.

Lindsay violated probation, due back in court today

By brendon June 23, 2011 @ 11:16 AM


Hopefully no one actually believed Lindsay Lohan when yesterdays interview with Life and Style came out, and she claimed to be sober now:

She insists, there is no booze, no matter what.
“When my friends come over, they’re not drinking,” she notes. “Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”

Because of course that was a lie, just like all the other times she’s lied about the exact same thing, and now…

Lindsay Lohan has violated the terms of her probation by testing positive for alcohol on June 12 or June 13, and has been ordered to appear in front of Judge Stephanie Sautner at the LAX Airport Courthouse Thursday morning for a probation violation hearing, Radar has exclusively learned.
“Lindsay tested positive for alcohol. The judge in her DUI case, Judge Elden Fox said she couldn’t consume any alcohol while on probation. The probation department has prepared a report, and Lindsay will be in court (today).”

God I wish I were a judge. Not only would I lock Lindsay up, but I would do it personally and trick her into walking into a room that she thought we were gonna smoke weed in but was actually an old timey cage, and then I’d yell “get comfortable, bitch” as I slammed the door.

Avril Lavigne is doing whatever this is

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 6:30 PM


Avril Lavigne was on a boat in St. Tropez today, being as unlikable as ever, and just so you don’t get your hopes up, this picture set does not end with a shark attack. I was pretty disappointed too.

(image source = bauer griffin)

Ryan Dunn was really really drunk

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 4:26 PM


It was surprising when we heard that ‘Jackass’ star Ryan Dunn died in a drunken car crash, but that was because we didn’t know it was after leaving a bar with a blood alcohol level two and a half times the legal limit and then driving 140 miles per hour. Of course he died. He might as well have put on a blindfold and driven with his feet too.

People says…

Dunn was driving at twice the legal limit, with authorities saying toxicology results put his blood alcohol concentration at 0.196 percent, while the legal state limit is 0.08.
“The initial crash reconstruction investigation determined that Mr. Dunn’s vehicle was traveling between 132-140 mph at the time of the collision,” West Goshen Police Chief Michael Carroll said in a statement.

Jesus, how do you even reconstruct an accident where the car is going 140. By watching ‘Tron’? It turns out this isn’t even a good anti-drunk driving story, because of course he died. If you wanted to kill yourself, this is what you would do. He did everything but set cobras loose in the back seat.

Lindsay Lohan has changed this time. Really

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 3:34 PM


Over the weekend Lindsay Lohan gave an interview to Life and Style, and naturally she told them she’s changed and things are gonna be different this time. But if you think she’s just saying the exact same things as she did during all the other “things are gonna be different this time” interviews…. well then, yes, you would be correct.

“I’ve been having a lot of work-related meetings. Sometimes my friends come over. And I get to see my sister, Ali, which is nice,” Lindsay says. Although, she insists, there is no booze, no matter what.
“When my friends come over, they’re not drinking,” she notes. “Alcohol is not in my house, so it’s just not a part of my life.”
But when Lindsay is released on June 29, it won’t necessarily mean the end of nightclubs for her. “I don’t think you should ever say never,” she explains.
“I’ve grown up — and I’m willing to do what I have to do to prove that.”
Most important, she says, she loves acting and hopes that someday she can be taken seriously again.
“You go through experiences. I do understand that I need to gain some of the respect back, but I’m willing to work hard for that. I understand the situations I’ve put myself in, and I don’t want to go back to that.”

And if you doubt Lindsays sincerity, might I suggest you look at the headline picture. Because what better way to illustrate what a humble, dedicated professional you are than by hanging a life-sized picture of yourself in your living room.

Jennifer Aniston is inappropiate

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 2:25 PM


Jennifer Aniston walked around New York yesterday in the sheerest possible clothes, and everyone could look at her ass and nipples. Which seems a little presumptuous. If we could decide how much clothing Jennifer Aniston should be wearing at all times, I would vote for “a lot”.

(image source = inf)

George Clooney broke up with Elisabetta Canalis

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 12:32 PM


After dating for over a year, George Clooney and Italian model Elisabetta Canalis have broken up, which is sad for me personally because I finally learned how to spell her name without tracing it on the screen with my finger. Popeater says…

“We are not together anymore. It’s very difficult and very personal, and we hope everyone can respect our privacy,” the ex-pair said in a joint statement released on Wednesday.
We can’t say we didn’t see this coming. (She) recently told an Italian magazine that she had no plans to live the bachelorette life forever and knew that she wanted to be married at some point — a revelation that most likely sent Clooney, 50, who has vowed to never marry again, running.

I wonder is she gets to keep the island he bought for her. If so, that’s a pretty good break-up. She dated the right actor. Mel Gibsons ex got promised some land when they broke up too, but delivered one shovel at a time and thrown on top of her.

Jennifer Aniston is a screen legend

By brendon June 22, 2011 @ 10:45 AM


If there’s one thing actors need more of, it’s special attention and people applauding them for no fucking reason, and so yesterday the 2012 recipients of a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame were announced, led by Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lopez (here’s the full list).

To be honored with a star, one must meet a strict criteria and pass a lengthy and demanding screening process. It’s practically like when Indiana Jones was trying to enter that room with the Holy Grail.

I’m lying of course. These are the only requirements for getting a star:

- professional achievement
- longevity of five years or more
- contributions to the community
- the guarantee that the celebrity will attend the dedication ceremony if selected.

But most importantly, you have to pay the Hollywood Chamber of Commerce $30,000. Which means that the overwhelming number of these ceremonies happen because the actor nominated themselves. That’s how starved they are for attention and acclaim and a podium so they can talk about themselves. And that’s usually when they say this will be great for the fans. Because it’s such a treat to read a name I recognize. Look…


Wasn’t that a thrill? Now imagine if that were written on a sidewalk, and you read it while pick-pockets robbed you!