Lindsay Lohan hasn’t changed in the slightest

By brendon March 18, 2011 @ 12:25 PM

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan is back home in Long Island this week for some “quiet time” with her family between trials, which in reality of course means she spent the week hitting clubs in the city, making out with random guys and fucking Samantha Ronson. Page Six says…

On Wednesday, Lohan hit the scene at The Lion before visiting two clubs where she was spotted kissing a mystery man. She even managed to fit in a secret rendezvous with former girlfriend Samantha Ronson at the Standard Hotel earlier that afternoon, although they were spotted leaving separately.
Lohan insisted she wasn’t drinking and carried a water bottle all night.
A source told us, “There was no way she was going to stay home with her mom. She had dinner, and then, bringing along her water bottle, went clubbing to SL, where she hung out with Tyson Beckford and got in the booth with DJ Phresh. She seemed totally sober and upbeat. She asked if Sam Ronson had been there the night before.”
Lohan requested several songs before she was approached by Knicks star Jared Jeffries, who asked for a photo. Another source said, “Tyson was telling her, ‘You’re so amazing, you’re so beautiful, you’re so talented. It would be so sad to see that talent go to waste.’ They cheered with water.” Lohan then took the party to 1Oak and made out with “some random guy,” a spy said.
“Her family is furious. She’s supposed to be spending time with them and deciding if she’ll take a plea deal. It’s almost as if she thinks she may as well have one last final fling.”

Holy shit, is she STILL doing the water bottle thing, where she fills it with vodka? Because they’re both clear. Get it? It’s the perfect crime. You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to out wit Lindsay Lohan. The only flaw in her plan is that bars have water. They have tons of it, and it’s for sale. You don’t need to bring your own anymore than you need to bring your own chair or limes and a cutting board.

(image source = inf daily)

Stephanie Seymour is busty

By brendon March 18, 2011 @ 10:40 AM

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Stephanie Seymour is still on Saint-Barth and still in a bikini, and obviously she’s heavier than she used to be, but hey, “titties are titties” as President Obama likes to say.

Yesterday she was on Saline Beach with her husband Peter Brant and their family, but these pictures are mostly her with her little girl. So they’re a dream come true if you have one of two very specific sexual interests. Weirdo.

(image source = splash news online)

Thursday afternoon headlines

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 4:32 PM

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DARREN ARONOFSKY – will no longer direct the Wolverine sequel, stating that it would keep him in Japan for over a year, and he didn’t want to be apart from his family for that long. Also Japan glows in the dark now. (e.w.)

THE X FACTOR – has found their first judge to join Simon Cowell, and its LA Reid, arguably the most powerful man in music. While chairmen of Island Def Jam Records (he resigned today to take this and move to Sony) he signed Rihanna, Kanye West, Justin Bieber, Mariah Carey, and The Killers, among others. The only way the third judge could be more respected is if they got Yoda. (huff post)

COURTNEY LOVE – considered snorting Kurt Cobains ashes. She should just shit on them, since that’s what she’s doing figuratively anyway. (p.e.)

KARISSA SHANNON – is always up for some attention whoring, and St. Patricks Day is no exception, so she went to Malibu in a green bikini. Maybe for Easter she could wear a white bikini and come out of a cave. (pcn)

Sandra Bullock gave $1,000,000 to Japan

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 1:49 PM

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Sandra Bullock is no stranger to giving millions to those in need; she donated $1,000,000 to charities after 9/11, after the Indonesian Tsunami, after Hurricane Katrina, and after the earthquake in Haiti, so it’s no surprise that she’s now written another million dollar check in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan.

CNN says…

It is the largest celebrity donation to the Red Cross to be announced since the disaster struck last Friday.
“The American Red Cross is extremely grateful for this generous support from Sandra Bullock … This contribution is vitally important as the Red Cross works to provide critical assistance and essential relief items in this time of urgent need for so many people in Japan.”

When that mean old bitch Julia Roberts heard about the generosity of her former rival, she got into the charitable spirit too and instead of throwing her watermelon rinds away, she placed them on some newspaper for her housekeeper. “DO YOU…”, Julia then paused from shouting and pointed at Renae because she assumed the lady didn’t speak english even though she was born in Riverside. “DO YOU WANT THIS? IT’S FOOD. FFOOODD.” And then Julia pantomimed eating a watermelon. “FOOD,” she continued.

“FOOOODD!”

(you can follow Sandras example and donate to the Red Cross here)

Mel Gibson is photogenic

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 1:09 PM

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Mel Gibson turned himself in to the El Segundo police department last night to be booked after his no contest plea last week, and here’s his totally-not-a-crazy-guy mugshot. The real story took place seconds after this was taken, because when the bulb flashed he was startled and grew angry, then jumped up on his chair and hissed like a threatened monkey. True Story!

Stephanie Seymour is disappointing

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 12:58 PM

Stephanie Seymour, Lily Brant

Stephanie Seymour is back on Saint Barthelemy (does this chick have a home), and it’s really disappointing to see one of the worlds top supermodels turn into someone that couldn’t even headline a MILF porn. If we had sex I wouldn’t know if she collapsed because I was so good or because she was dizzy from hunger.

(image source = inf daily)

Jennifer Love Chewitt keeps getting fatter

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 11:43 AM

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Please tell me there’s someone else under that dress.

(image source = pacific coast)

Charlie Sheens $100,000,000 lawsuit isn’t going so well

By brendon March 17, 2011 @ 11:23 AM

Natalie Kenly, Charlie Sheen

Rest assured that CBS and Warner Brothers had absolutely no desire to fire Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men and destroy the number one sitcom on television. They stuck with him when he allegedly tried to murder his wife and kidnapped a prostitute, but his increasingly bizarre behavior eventually left them no choice.

Sheen of course feels they were just out to get him, for no reason, so he decided to sue for 100,000,000 dollars. Guess how that’s going.

Charlie Sheen has been dealt a procedural blow in his lawsuit against Warner Bros. Television and Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre over his firing.
Sources tell The Hollywood Reporter that the private dispute-resolution company JAMS on Tuesday sided with WBTV and Lorre in deciding that its own arbitrator has jurisdiction over the dispute, meaning the confidential arbitration will go forward despite Sheen’s request that the fracas be litigated publicly.
The decision makes it much more likely that Sheen’s high-stakes legal war with Warners and Lorre will be resolved in private — and not in a public trial, as Sheen has said he is entitled to under the law.

When Sheen heard the news he turned and asked the talking bull, who is also a 5 star general, about this, and the bull took off his glasses and told Charlie about the stargate, and that he had less than 48 hours to close it. “Time to kick some alien ass,” Sheen said.