Nicole Scherzinger has been in England lately filling in as a judge on Simon Cowells “the X-Factor”, but here she is in France on a beach popular with the rich and famous who want to get some sun and slice up their feet at the same time. I would have thought a beach covered with rocks would be a universally accepted sign that God didn’t want people going there but apparently not. What about monsters, would that work? Or should we just skip ahead and give the monsters knives.
Every time some famous celebrity gets taped carrying on like an asshole, a mountain of remixes is sure to follow. Someone will take the original audio and splice it with something else, like dialogue from a movie or something.
That’s not what this is however. This is what happened one night when Shelley fell asleep before giving Mel a blowjob.
(WARNING – Mel works blue, so this has extremely NSFW language)
Lindsay Lohan has until Tuesday to turn herself in and begin a 90 day jail sentence (which will likely end up closer to 3 weeks), that is unless this asshole kills herself first just because someone actually expects her to obey the law or be held accountable for her actions. Star says…
(According to a source) “She just kept repeating, ‘I can’t go to jail,’ and, ‘I’ll kill myself first.’”
“She’s mentally unstable and getting worse. She ran around breaking mirrors, cutting herself and rambling like a lunatic. She tore her house apart before she finally just broke down. Lindsay’s on a 24/7 suicide watch, it’s so bad. She isn’t doing well with this.”
On the bright side, those lesbian gangs seem to be really excited about meeting her, and so for the first time in 3 years she’ll be in a group where she’s actually wanted. Also it seems very hard to believe that if she is raped, that the girl will be uglier than that Sam chick, whom she had sex with willingly. You could put Sam in a Star Trek movie and she’d still be the ugliest one.
The fourth Mel Gibson audio clip is now online, and this time he threatens to burn his girlfriends house down because she didn’t give him a blow job. In his defense, blow jobs are awesome. During an argument about Oksana apparently falling asleep before sex, Mel screams…
“I should’ve woken you up and said fucking blow me bitch! I should’ve fuckin’ woken you up and said blow me! You would’ve liked that better, yeah? But you need the goddamn sleep!”
And when Oksana says she fell asleep because she was waiting to meet him in the jacuzzi, Mel gasps for air then yells…
“Waited and waited? What, two and a half fucking minutes!? You’re fucking snoring. Don’t you dare … I deserve to be blown first! Before the fucking Jacuzzi! Ok, I’ll burn the goddamn house up, but blow me first! How dare you!??!”
Women are always complaining that men don’t express themselves so I don’t know what this bitches problem is. Mel tries speaking from the heart and basically says he has a burning desire for her, but no, he didn’t word it exactly the way she wants it and nothing is ever good enough because women always have to find something to complain about. Typical.
Heather Graham is still in Ischia, Italy, and still in a bikini, and while it’s true that she doesn’t look as hot as she used to, she’s still Roller Girl and she still looks great and if I ever had sex with her I’d come so hard I’d lay there twitching like someone hit me a taser.
(source = inf daily)
RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN - might be reconciling. “It’s been almost a year since they last spoke, but Rihanna felt like she could try to be friends with Chris again. Seeing how emotional he was [at the BET Awards] really touched her. She’d never seen him like that before.” Well then I guess he’s changed. Punching girls in the face was probably just a fad he went through, like snap bracelets or acid wash. (celebuzz)
KATE GOSSELIN - sounds so delusional I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic. On the topic of dating again, a source says, “Kate’s confidence is amazing. She thinks she is a fantastic catch. Not only does she think she has never looked better, Kate also now has a ton of money. As far as she’s concerned, there is nothing not to like. She’s beautiful, rich and thinks of herself as very easy to get along with.” Nothing not to like? How about a vagina that probably looks like something hanging out of a buzzards mouth because more kids have passed through it than the gates at Disneyland. (popeater)
PENELOPE CRUZ AND JAVIER BARDEM - secretly got married earlier this month in the Bahamas after dating for the past 3 years. The story would have broken sooner but these two are so god damned dull everyone kept falling asleep when they tried to write it. (e!)
ANNALYNN MCCORD - went to the Hollywood premier of “Inception” last night in this awesome dress. And although she’s great she might want to avoid this color from now on. With the way her ribs stick out she looks like a sexy greyhound. (wenn, getty)
Alex Curran is a 23-year-old model from England, and she’s married to Steven Gerrard (this lead footed jackass), but the reason she’s here is because she’s in Ibiza this week and yesterday she was in a bikini. Gerrard is taking a break between bombing in the World Cup and getting back to work in the Premier League in August, but if I were him I’d take my time. That girls body is bad ass, who cares about soccer. I could get shot in the eye with an arrow and I’d still stay on that beach all day.
(actually i don’t know why i called gerrard a jackass. he’s one of my favorite players and that top 10 video is old but awesome. his placement on number 2 is just impossible, and he strikes the ball so god damn hard on numbers 5, 3 and 1 it’s amazing it didn’t burst into flames. if there wasn’t a net for number 3 he would have killed at least a dozen people.)
The MLB All-Star game will be played tonight, but much more interesting was the celebrity softball game. Because Marissa Miller was in it. And she ran around wearing pants that showed off her amazing body and an ass so rock hard you could use it to open jars.