BROOKE HOGAN MIGHT DO PLAYBOY

By brendon July 23, 2008 @ 11:10 AM

The always kick ass New York Daily News says today that Brooke Hogan has been approached by Playboy.  They need someone to bat cleanup on their men’s league softball team.  No not really.  They actually want her to take her clothes off.  

Brooke Hogan has been approached to pose nude for the famous men's magazine, her publicist told the Daily News on Wednesday. And she didn't say no.
The "Brooke Hogan Knows Best" star, 20, could use a boost for her stagnant singing career. Hogan's 2006 album "Undiscovered" reportedly sold just 127,000 copies.
But her father, WWE legend Hulk Hogan, likely won't be too thrilled with the idea. The Hulkster had no qualms about showing off his overbearing paternal side on the now-defunct VH1 reality show "Hogan Knows Best."
Brooke has posed for a men's magazine in the past (she appeared on the cover of FHM in a skimpy bikini in 2006), but has never posed nude.
"No decision has been made at this time," her rep said.

Whatever.  This bitch will do it.  She's a trampy idiot.  This is what they do.  They show you their vagina for money.  They don’t even have to pay her.  She’d probably do it for a ride home.  I bet that’s more than she usually gets.  Paying her to act like a slut is like paying a dog to chase a squirrel.

SOPHIE MONK IS THE WINNER

By brendon July 23, 2008 @ 6:50 AM

I don’t know what sexual predator designed Sophie Monks bikini, but god bless them, because that thing doesn’t even begin to cover anything once it gets wet.  She might as well wear a bikini made out of sugar or optimism.

CHRISTIAN BALE IS NOT CRAZY. MAYBE.

By brendon July 23, 2008 @ 6:06 AM

There's no easy way to sum up all the theories and reports on Christian Bale right now, after he was arrested yesterday on assault charges filed by his mother and his sister, but today sources close to Bale tell the Daily Mail that at no point did Bale ever lay a finger on anyone.  They say Bale lost his temper after his mother insulted his wife during an argument in a London hotel, and Bale was more or less trapped there because of a swarm of fans and paparazzi outside.  They go on to say that Bale has been in a deep depression ever since the death of his friend Heath Ledger, and this has made him moody and short-tempered, even more so now with the release of "The Dark Knight".  The Mail says:

Sources close to the actor said he 'flew off the handle' at London's Dorchester hotel after Jenny Bale said 'some outrageous things'.
However, a source close to the 34-year-old actor says Bale is confident he’s done nothing wrong, and blames his mother.
The source said: ‘Christian was stressed, but he didn’t lay a finger on anyone. Instead, he flew off the handle and cussed his mother. He just got very loud because his mother was saying some very outrageous things about him and his wife.’
 ‘Normally Christian would just call a friend and go out to a pub to cool off. But he was literally trapped into this confrontation with his mother and sister because there was an army of fans and paparazzi outside.’
The source also claimed Bale had been deeply affected by the death of Ledger.
A friend said: 'Christian pretends he's calm and collected but you really started to see the cracks in his façade in January, right after Heath Ledger had died.
'Christian was in the middle of a very brief break from work when he heard the news, and it was massive blow to him.
'They had become very close during the making of The Dark Knight and Christian went into virtual hiding for the six weeks after Heath was found dead.
‘He wasn't returning phone calls and he wasn't a happy man. It's foolish to think that he's been able to completely shake off that grief just as Heath and his work is finally being seen by audiences.
'He expected to share this moment with his friend, and now he can't.

Keep in mind that 100 percent of all women are crazy, so just because he got into a fight with his mom doesn’t necessarily means he’s a lunatic, as long as he didn’t hit anyone.  Also keep in mind that if you would like to appear taller, jumping can help, albeit briefly. 

AUDRINA PATRIDGE IS PHOTOGENIC

By brendon July 22, 2008 @ 11:54 AM

I read an article in Discover magazine one time that said girls with implants are 30 percent more likely to be promiscuous.  Except replace the word "read" with the words "saw a picture", and the word "Discover" with the word "Juggs".  In hindsight it was less of an article about a study, and more of some pictures of this chick with huge awesome tits and then me just assuming she was a whore.  I can’t remember where I was going with this.  Anyway, hey look, it's Audrina Patrdige in some totally spontaneous and not-staged pictures of her big tits and hot ass yesterday in Beverly Hills.  Too bad about her face because her body is unbelievable.  She and I could do it but it would have to be pretty dark.  We could do it in the daylight, but I’d have to wack my penis up against her a few times to get things going, like you do with poppin fresh dough or a road flare.



CHRISTIAN BALE IS FREE

By brendon July 22, 2008 @ 10:27 AM

Christian Bale has been released from police custody after voluntarily turning himself him to answer questions stemming from an assault charge filed by his mother and his sister.  Earlier a publicist for Bale issued this statement:

"Christian Bale attended a London police station today, on a voluntary basis, in order to assist with an allegation that had been made against him to the police by his mother and sister. Mr. Bale, who denies the allegation, co-operated throughout, gave his account in full of the events in question and has left the station without any charge being made against him by the police. At this time, there will be no further comment by Mr. Bale."

TMZ among others is reporting that this charge of assault may be nothing more than verbal assault, which is a crime in the UK.  Yelling is not a crime in the US, unless you stand outside Megan Foxs window and yell at her to show you her tits.  Nobody likes a tattle tale, Megan.

BEING JAMES BLUNT LOOKS FUN

By brendon July 22, 2008 @ 8:54 AM

James Blunt and Gary Dourdan from "CSI" and a few whores went swimming off the coast of Formentera Island in Spain yesterday.  Wait, did I call them "whores"?  I meant to call them "heroes".  The greatest heroes of all, some would say.  

(note – some of these pictures are pretty small. I assure you I’ll update as soon as I find better quality)

EDIT – and here they are. 



ALEC BALDWIN IS DELIGHTFUL

By brendon July 22, 2008 @ 8:11 AM

The reason you hear so many stories about Alec Baldwin being a short-tempered maniac is because Alec Baldwin is short-tempered maniac.  As the New York Daily News points out yet again today.

Alec Baldwin turned down Larry King and other interviewers because he wanted to talk first with Diane Sawyer about his divorce memoir, "A Promise to Ourselves." But the "30 Rock" star is said to have turned testy when Sawyer had to reschedule because of husband Mike Nichols' heart surgery.
"Diane's people couldn't believe how angry Baldwin got," says a source. "She was running back from the hospital!" A friend of Baldwin says, "The interview was rescheduled at least four times. Then the air conditioning wasn't working. Alec was a little annoyed, but not with Diane."

It's no wonder Alec Baldwin is so testy.  He's been driven to the brink of madness but his lifetime of success and million dollar paychecks.  It's really quite heartbreaking.

MILEY WANTS TO GET NAKED IN A MOVIE

By brendon July 22, 2008 @ 6:48 AM

!5-year-old Miley Cyrus, who is 15-years-old, is rumored to be very interested in the lead role of the film version of "Undiscovered Gyrl".  The story follows the life of a wild suburban party girl who fills her nights with booze and drugs and sex.  And there's nudity.  Lots of it.  I mentioned that Miley is 15, right?  Because she's 15.  Closer to 12 than 20.  Think about it like that.  MSNBC says…

So what’s up next? Cyrus is rumored to be interested in the lead role in “Undiscovered Gyrl,” the film version of Allison Burnett’s new novel. It’s still early for casting — Burnett’s agent Richard Abate has reportedly just begun shopping the manuscript to publishers and has yet to secure a deal for the film.
However, a source close to the project says Cyrus is interested in the part, which would be that of “a lovable, lost suburban girl who descends into a life of reckless partying and promiscuity.” The source says if Cyrus did take the part, you’d be seeing a lot more of Cyrus than what appeared in the Vanity Fair photos. “There would definitely be nude scenes,” says the source.

I don't know what country they plan on releasing this movie in but it sure as hell isn't this one.  Have fun in France with the rest of the perverts, Miley.