ri and chris have a sex tape. maybe.

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 11:23 AM

Star magazine says today that Rihanna is privately worried that a sex tape she made with Chris Brown – who was recently in the news after he, “shoved Rihannas head against the passenger window … she turned and he punched her in the left eye with his right hand.  He then drove away and continued to punch her in the face” – will somehow get leaked to the public.

"Rihanna has no issues with her sexuality,” a source says.  “But she'd be mortified if her friends and family found this out!"
Insiders say Rihanna is still emotionally fragile and vulnerable since the assault.
"This whole beating incident is terribly humiliating for her. She's already traumatized and will do anything to make it all go away as quickly as possible."

They say Chris is the one with the tapes, so it seems logical that if they get leaked, he’s the one who did it.  That’s her concern.  That the dude who punched her in the face 800 times will release their sex tape.  It’s easy to see why she took him back, isn’t it.  He’s like a dashing romantic prince from olden days.

(source of the pics of ri last night in la = pacific coast)

theyre all whores

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 9:56 AM

If you don’t know, the chick about to be mounted on that yacht is 30-year-old Gretchen Rossi of the show “Real Housewives of Orange County”.   Her super rich 54-year-old fiancée didn’t go on the yacht trip with her, presumably because he died of leukemia a few months ago.  She’s handling her loss pretty well it would seem.  These were taken yesterday, just so you know.  Then she flew to New York to hit on Liam Neeson.

morning headlines

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 9:20 AM

KATE BOSWORTH – after dating for three years, Kate reportedly dumped her boyfriend (this dork) over the weekend.  And I wore some snug fit jeans and a sleeveless mesh t-shirt to the clubs this weekend.  Coincidence, or did mommy see something she liked?  (source = star)

RIHANNA – some quotes from teen girls in NYC about Chris Brown beating up Rihanna:  “He shouldn’t get into trouble.  She probably feels bad that it was her fault, so she took him back.”  “She deserves it for being so jealous.”  “She probably made him mad for him to react like that.”  “SHAME ON YOU RIHANNA!!!”  “She probably ran into a door and was too embarrassed so blamed it on Chris.”  Note to self: go beat up teen girls in NYC.  They don’t mind.  (source = new york times)

LADY GAGA – you could live to a hundred and travel the world and never see anyone less sexy than Lady GaGa, yet I’m still strangely compelled to stare at her tits.  Being a dude really sucks sometimes. (source = pacific coast)

this is sad

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 9:04 AM

Yesterday Heather Locklear announced that she would not be taking a place with actress Ashlee Simpson on the new version of “Melrose Place”, while Lisa Rinna made a different announcement.  It went like this: fuck you dignity.  Fame says…

Lisa Rinna dressed in a bill-board seemed to be out promoting herself as one of the originals who wishes to be re-cast on the rumored new TV show of "Melrose Place". She created quite a stir in West Hollywood on Melrose Ave.

I need to rent a phony office and pretend to be the casting director for this show immediately.  The sky’s the limit with this chick.  Her answer is yes, no matter what the question was.  And I’m not just talking about swallowing – although you better believe she’s gonna be doing some swallowing – I could dress her up like a chicken and make her dance around, then ride her around the office like a horsey, then get her in a bikini and charge people a dollar to throw tomatoes at her.

the first ambulance was turned away

By brendon March 19, 2009 @ 6:33 AM

Breitbart News says today that the first ambulance called to help Natasha Richardson after the fall that led to her death was turned away, presumably at her request, because at the time she showed no signs of injury.  Another ambulance was called later but by then it was too late. A separate story from the AP explains why this may have been critical.

Richardson appears to have had a period of "lucidity" between her fall and the onset of symptoms.
If she then lost consciousness, that interval would have raised a red flag for doctors.  "If they (patients) become comatose after this lucid interval, then you're on a sliding scale of who's going to wake up and who isn't going to wake up from this type of injury," Tator said. 
In other words, time is of the essence, he said.

Oh good.  Because this wasn’t tragically sad enough already.  Now we can dial the heartache up to 11 because her death was maybe possibly preventable.  At this rate the snow will melt next month and we’ll find out that when Natasha fell she landed on a bunny with big soft ears who was bringing food to her babies but she died too so the baby bunnies all starved.  And one of those baby bunnies was a magic bunny who granted wishes.

evening headlines

By brendon March 18, 2009 @ 6:58 PM

KANYE WEST – prosecutors in LA have charged Kanye with misdemeanor battery, grand theft and vandalism after he ripped a camera from a paparazzi and smashed it on the ground in a little hissy fit (relive the magic here) at LAX in September.  So, good.  He should have been arrested and shot just for those GD sweater vests. (source = new york times)

RIHANNA – official became officialer today when the producer who has worked with Rihanna since 2003 said she did not record a duet with Chris Brown earlier this month in Miami, despite initial reports saying she did.  Also not true: dinosaurs. (source = new york daily news)

SELETA EBANKS – the premiere of “Valentino: The Last Emperor”, whatever the hell that is, was in NYC last night, and if I saw Seleta there I would tell her I think she's really pretty, and then ask if she's ever thought of doing any modeling.  And she would be like, what me, no way tee-hee.  She would act shy but really she’d be getting all hot because I said I thought she was pretty enough to be a model.  And then we’d do it. (source = wenn)

liam neeson releases a statement

By brendon March 18, 2009 @ 5:33 PM

Definitively putting an end to any and all rumors, a representative for Liam Neeson released this statement to Us magazine at 8:01pm est.

"Liam Neeson, his sons, and the entire family are shocked and devastated by the tragic death of their beloved Natasha.  They are profoundly grateful for the support, love and prayers of everyone, and ask for privacy during this very difficult time.”

In reading a hundred different editorials about Natasha today, it seems most will remember her as an uncommon professional, someone who was gracious and easy going, someone who everyone enjoyed working with and knowing.  Whereas I will be remembered as History’s Greatest Lover.  Who is to say which is better.

the brits are oddly uptight

By brendon March 18, 2009 @ 3:53 PM

A commercial for the DVD of the Angelina Jolie movie “Wanted” was pulled off the air in Britain today because some felt the ad glamorized violence.  This could devastate sales of the movie, especially if everyone agrees to unsee the ads they've already seen and then travel back in time to October, which is when the “Wanted” DVD was released in Britain.  The AP says…

The Advertising Standards Authority said the ad for the DVD version of “Wanted” breached ad codes and should not be broadcast.  The authority said the ad — which juxtaposes images of gun violence with Jolie showing off her bare back — “could be seen to condone violence by glorifying or glamorizing the use of guns.”  It was unclear what practical effect, if any, the ruling would have. The "Wanted" DVD was released in Britain nearly six months ago.

Um, I just wanted to look at Angelina pictures.  I don’t actually care if she’s in trouble or whatever all that said, it’s not gonna change how I feel.  I guess that’s what happens when you’re in love.

(image source of Angelina filming “salt” = wenn)