Suri Cruise Plays At The Beach With Her Pretend Family

Little Suri Cruise spent the holiday weekend at the beach with the actors hired to portray her loving family. Suri is none the wiser to the fact that paid employees of her famous Scientology father and desperately asexual mother call themselves aunts and cousins and... read more

Look Out Ladies, Here Come the O'Neal Boys

It's like watching narcotics in human form walking along the beach. Neither father or son have been the same since Farrah died of ass cancer, and considering they were both drug addicted oft-arrested louses well before her butt went malignant, that's saying something.... read more

Breathe Easy World, Tanning Mom Will Be OK

Patricia Krentcil, everyone's favorite overcooked sausage/shitty mother, is back in rehab after suffering a seizure. It's unclear but it looks like the seizure was caused by her system trying to adjust to not being bombarded by constant UV radiation and Parrothead happy... read more

Heidi Klum In A Bikini

You can always tell when a woman's having lots of sex because they start Tweeting body part pictures of themselves. Women aren't much different than men. They feel good about themselves when getting laid. If Twitter allowed it and anybody gave a shit, dudes who were... read more

Heleen Mees Will Not Just Be Ignored

I have a hard time feeling bad for any man who thinks they can bang a woman on the side without consequences. It just defies all reason based on overwhelming historical evidence. I bet when Citigroup economist Willem Buiter started nailing NYU econ professor Heleen Mees... read more

Victoria Silvstedt In A Bikini On a Yacht

It's hard to tell when Victoria Silvstedt is on the clock or on vacation. The bikini and the yacht is usually a giveaway. Yep, she's at work. Victoria may not be the ship's captain, but she is a valuable member of the crew. Think of her as the Julie McCoy of the Riviera.... read more

Lilit Avagyan Looks Like Kim Kardashian

With all the hullabaloo (I think that's still a word) around the stupidly named North West, people have completely overlooked that Reggie Bush just had a stupidly named girl child with his Kim Kardashian lookalike replacement girlfriend, Lilit Avagyan. It's uncanny how... read more

Kylie Jenner Wants To Send You To Prison

Based on the number of bikini pictures that teenagers Kylie and Kendall Jenner post to their Twitter and Instagram accounts, I'm guessing that they have a running bet with each other. Probably something like, whichever one of them is responsible for the most adult men... read more

George Clooney Is Done With This One

For the past two years, former WWE wrestler Stacy Keibler thought that she could be the girl who could finally make George Clooney settle down and become a husband and father after roughly two decades of sticking his dick in everything from Los Angeles to Laos. Of... read more

Bar Refaeli Shares Her Work Out (VIDEO)

I'm not sure what possesses a woman to want to share the intimacy of her fitness routine with the world. I suppose it has something to do with knowing you're really hot and men like to masturbate while watching you. That's got to feel good. Especially for the guys. read more

Courtney Love Dresses Like A Geisha For Sex

Aging rock star and opium depository Courtney Love took a moment to remind everyone on Saturday that she's still a woman with needs and desires when she Tweeted the above picture of herself right after sex. She referred to it as her "inner geisha, following sex with mad... read more

Heidi Klum Is More Patriotic Than You

Fuck yeah, America. Heidi Klum could've made it anywhere, but she made it here. In this country, you can kick Seal out of your bed and start banging your kids' bodyguard and the gossip rags pen cover stories about 'Heidi's great romance'. Try that back in Germany and... read more