Lindsay will serve only a few minutes in jail

By brendon November 02, 2011 @ 7:09 PM

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Despite all the tough talk and stern looks from the judge today when she sentenced Lindsay Lohan to 30 days in jail, the apparent reality is that she will, once again, be released almost immediately and not spend even one day in jail because of overcrowding.

Two Sheriff’s Dept. officials tell us … if someone receives a misdemeanor sentence of 90 days or less, they are routinely processed in and then released.  As one of the officials put it, “She’ll be out without even having to change her clothes.”

Wait, didn’t the Sheriff say he’d make sure there was room for Lindsay this time? That was rhetorical because yes, he did. But it’s hard to even even mad about this anymore, it’s happened so many times. The best we can hope for is that they put her in a really old cell for those 10 minutes and she swallows some asbestos somehow.

Bethenny Frankel is surprising

By brendon November 02, 2011 @ 5:54 PM

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Bethenny Frankel of Real Housewives of ‘New Jersey’ was on a beach in Mexico today, and it turns out she looks pretty good in a bikini. Which is helpful because her face is so manly her daughter would end up thinking she’s one of those kids with two dads.

(source – bauer griffin)

Megan Fox knows how to dress

By brendon November 02, 2011 @ 3:11 PM

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Just in case you’d forgotten how hot Megan Fox is, she wore some skin tight jeans and a sweater to run some errands late yesterday to run some errands around West Hollywood. There’s no sign however of her husband, my mortal enemy Brian Austin Greene. And if he knows whats best for him he’ll keep it that way.

(source = inf)

Lindsay Lohan is going to jail for 6 days

By brendon November 02, 2011 @ 2:28 PM

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Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 30 days in jail today after admitting to violating her probation, but that will get knocked down to 6 days of actual jail time due to overcrowding. After that she must adhere to a strict timeline for completing her community service (all of which must be served in the county morgue now) or she will receive an additional 270 days in jail. Her schedule looks like this…

…by December 14, she must have completed 12 days at the morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions.  By January 17, another 12 days at morgue and 4 psychotherapy sessions.  And so on.  Everything must be completed by March 29.

I think we both know there is zero chance of her ever adhering to that schedule. She can’t even follow the instructions given to her by a red light, much less a judge.

Justin Bieber got some girl pregnant

By brendon November 02, 2011 @ 1:15 PM

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A 20-year-old girl named Mariah Yeater has filed court papers saying that Justin Bieber got her pregnant after they had sex in a bathroom after a concert last year, which is surprising since he’s clearly gay. Here’s her romantic recap, according to Radar

“Immediately, it was obvious that we were mutually attracted to one another, and we began to kiss. Shortly thereafter, Justin Bieber suggested that I go with him to a private place where we could be alone.
“I agreed to go with him and on the walk to a private area, he told me he wanted to make love to me and this was going to be his first time.
“After walking away from the other people backstage, Justin Bieber found a place where we could be alone — a bathroom.
“We went inside and immediately his personality changed drastically. He began touching me and repeatedly said he wanted to f*ck the sh*t out of me. At the time I asked him to put a condom for protection, but he insisted that he did not want to.”

I can totally see Bieber doing and saying all this. He seems to think he’s some kind of tough guy. He’ll be choking prostitutes in no time.

Lindsay is extra extra sorry this time

By brendon November 01, 2011 @ 6:30 PM

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Two weeks ago, Judge Stephanie Sautner ruled that Lindsay Lohan has violated her probation (again) and tomorrow she’ll be back in a court room for her hearing. If found guilty (which she is), Lindsay could get as much as 18 months in jail (which she won’t).

The Los Angeles City Attorney and the LosAngeles County District Attorney will ask the judge to formally revoke Lindsay Lohan’s probation and send the embattled starlet to jail for at least 90 days, during her court appearance Wednesday.

I guess 90 days would be good punishment but she’s committed so many crimes at this point it’s hard to sort them all out and even know what this one is for. Can’t we just compromise and send her to Mexico or something.

Kate Upton is good at Halloween

By brendon November 01, 2011 @ 3:30 PM

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I’m still not quite sure what Kate Upton was supposed to be for Halloween last night in New York. She sort of looks like a sexy version of Marilyn Monroe if she were a zombie. The unsexy version of Marilyn Monroe is she were a zombie would be Kirsten Dunst.

(source = inf and getty)

what is Scarlett Johansson smoking?

By brendon November 01, 2011 @ 2:24 PM

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Scarlett Johansson was on the set of ‘Under the Skin’ in Arbroath, Scotland, today, taking a break and smoking some weed. I can’t say it’s weed for sure of course, but earlier today she said she’d be down to make a sex tape, and stuff like sex tapes and Pringles only seem like a good idea when you’re high.

(source = fame)