Will Smith looks thrilled

By brendon May 14, 2012 @ 8:31 AM

will_smith_giant_tennis_racket

Will Smith and Josh Brolin were in Madrid yesterday for the Spain premiere of ‘Men in Black III’, and not only did they have to go to the Madrid Tennis Open but they got paraded around like assholes to hit a giant tennis ball with a giant tennis racket.

Josh Brolin seems cool, so it’s no ok that they did this to him, but Will Smith seems like a dick so I bet the studio lives for these moments. “Ok’a Wheel Smith, now you’a putta on’a dis diaper and we’a bang’a you wife’a.”

That probably sounded more Italian but you get the idea.

(image source = splash)

Anne Hathaway is in a bikini, odd looking (update!)

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 4:24 PM

anne_hathaway_black_bikini

Anne Hathaway wore this little black bikini to the beach in Miami earlier today, in fact she’s probably still there as I write this, so hopefully some better pictures will show up soon. Because these aren’t that great. The haircut is especially upsetting. People are gonna think her boyfriend is gay.

UPDATE – now with 9 more pictures, so good news if you ever wanted to see Anne in a dumb panama hat like a female Tom Wolfe.

(image source = splash)

something actually went right for John Travolta

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 4:04 PM

hairspray_005

Two male masseuses and a former cruise ship employee all accused John Travolta of sexual assault this week, but today the attorney for the first masseur (known as “John Doe #1″) told The Wrap he has stepped down after “Doe” admitted he might have the wrong dates listed in his lawsuit against Travolta.

…that could throw doubt on the accuser’s claims on multiple fronts. Not only would it call his memory and account of facts into question, but it would give credence to the assertions of Travolta’s lawyer (that he was in New York) when the alleged incident supposedly took place.
John Doe #1 claims that the actor assaulted him on Jan. 16 in a bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel … that Travolta groped (his) scrotum and penis during the massage session, then began masturbating and offered to give the plaintiff a “reverse massage,” telling him, “Come on, dude, I’ll jerk you off!”

“Yeah, Mr. Travolta, I get it, I know you’ll jerk me off, you don’t have to yell. You’ve been pawing at my dick for an hour and then you chased me around the room with a hard-on. It’s not like I want you to jack me off but am too shy to ask because I can’t get a handle on the signals you’re sending me, that’s totally not the issue here.”

Christina Aguilera is 2 hours late to ‘the Voice’ almost every day

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 3:01 PM

136526373

Christina Aguilera is a self-centered bitch with an impossible ego, so she truly doesn’t care if the entire cast and crew of ‘The Voice’ have to wait for her to arrive on set every day.

In fact she’s so apathetic that the producers started fining her for being late, which made absolutely no impact whatsoever.

“Christina is consistently about two hours late,” a source tells Radar. “For season three this has got to stop.”
“Whatever her fine is now doesn’t bother her.
“Higher-ups on the show want to raise it to a number that does bother her so she actually arrives on time.”

And once she arrives, she’s even more delightful. During rehearsals Monday night, fellow judge Adam Levine was so enchanted with her antics he called her “a fucking cunt” in front of nearly 70 people. Who probably responded by saying, “amen to that” and “truer words have never been spoken.”

Katy Perry is real dark and moody now

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 1:24 PM

katy_perry_goth_look

“Yeah, that’s right, my hair is purple, each strand a silent scream that pierces like a razor in my heart so I’ll know I’m still alive.”

(image source of katy at the narm awards dinner last night = wenn, getty)

Bree Olson is a good model

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 12:42 PM

bree

Actually the picture agency didn’t say who this model was, but I’m pretty sure it’s Charlie Sheen’s ex and super famous porn star Bree Olson, doing a photo shoot yesterday in the window of the Oliver Peoples store on Sunset Blvd (*).

She’s probably not actually naked, because that would seemingly be illegal, but the only thing she had for clothes were some strategically placed belts kept in place by this helpful lady. One long gaze or lingering touch and this could have quickly turned into a pretty hot girl-girl scene.

(*) in fact, almost dead center on Sunset, as if traffic on that god damn road didn’t move slow enough already. image source = splash.

Britney is officially an X-Factor judge

By brendon May 11, 2012 @ 11:23 AM

ffn_spears_britney_exc_ff6ff1_050512_9052832

Britney Spears has finally signed a one year deal worth $15 million to join Simon Cowell and LA Reid as judges on the second season of ‘The X-Factor’.

While most think this is a home run, Howard Stern was asked about her at a press conference last night to promote his debut on ‘Americas Got Talent’ this coming Monday, and didn’t sound all that excited:

“I don’t anticipate great opinions from her. I think she’s gonna sit there like J.Lo, ‘Oh, you’re wonderful, you’re terrific. You think I can get a perfume endorsement out of this?’ ”
“As far as any real criticism, I think Simon Cowell and L.A. Reid will do that…I think Britney will sit there and eat a lollipop and wear a sexy outfit.”

Well ok yeah she probably will do all that, but she won’t be like J.Lo. Britney will at least be sincere, she’s at least a nice person, whereas Jennifer Lopez is a mean bitch. When you see J.Lo in real life, she’s pretty but also looks like she could go insane at any second. It’s like staring into the eyes of a wild bear.

a third man is now accusing John Travolta of sexual assault

By brendon May 10, 2012 @ 6:45 PM

john_travolta_in_drag

Some guy with the sexy name Fabian Zanzi has become the third man in three days to publicly accuse John Travolta of sexual assault. And like the 8 millionth to privately do so.

Fabian Zanzi (says) Travolta accosted him while he was working on the Royal Caribbean cruise ship in 2009 and the actor was a guest on the boat.
“He had something on his neck. I thought it was a fuzz. As I approached, he took off his white coat and was naked. He hugged me and asked me to do a massage.”
Zanzi alleges that Travolta offered $12,000 to have sex with him, but he says he refused.

Not to oversimplify a complicated subject, but would it be fair to say that much of these allegations depend on whether or not this man might be interested in having gay sex? Because I feel pretty confident in assuming that he is.