mickey rourke knows whats hot

By brendon February 05, 2009 @ 10:49 AM

Mickey Rourke is enjoying a career resurgence like few before ever have, and this week while in Paris to promote "The Wrestler", he also made time to participate in the Faggity Outfit Wearing Championships.  Go Mickey Go!

(picture source – fame pictures)

joanna pacitti might be cheating

By brendon February 05, 2009 @ 9:51 AM

American Idol doesn’t exactly have the greatest reputation in the world when it comes to fairness and being as open as they claim, so it would be a bad idea if a personal friend of the producers and a music industry vet made it to the finals. Oh hey guess what…

Star reports that Joanna Pacitti is no newcomer to the business, having released a major label album in 2006, starred in a MTV documentary, opened for Sheryl Crow and having her songs featured in movies and TV shows, including The Hills. But that's nothing compared to her connection to two executives at the L.A. offices of 19 Entertainment — the company that produces Idol.
Michelle Young and Roger Widynowski have very personal connections to the Joanna, who has referred to Michelle as her "manager" and "best friend," and credited Roger with "helping me get where I am today." Plus, the three of them even lived in the same L.A. apartment complex for several years.

Well whatever.  She’s hot so I think what’s she’s doing is fine.  It would be different if she were ugly.  If you have an advantage in life you should use it.  Like I used to work at Sears, so I knew the guy in the portrait studio, and so when I took my senior portrait with one foot on a ladder and holding my clarinet, I got all the copies I needed for family and friends.  Turns out I only needed one, but that’s beside the point.

asian people have “goofy” faces

By brendon February 05, 2009 @ 7:38 AM

A few days ago, Miley Cyrus got in trouble because that picture above leaked out, and in it she and her friends are seemingly make fun of Asian peoples eyes.  But not to worry, because that silver tongued devil has posted an apology on her website, and this should take care of everything.

"I've also been told there are some people upset about some pictures taken of me with friends making goofy faces! Well, I'm sorry if those people looked at those pics and took them wrong and out of context!
In NO way was I making fun of any ethnicity! I was simply making a goofy face. When did that become newsworthy?"

Oh, so she was just making a goofy face.  You now, like Asian people have.  Get it, LOL?  In another picture she has on some shiny skintight aqua blue pants and a purple tube top with chopsticks in her hair, then she pulled her eyes back and said "me sucky sucky 5 dolla".   Probably.  It's all part of her homage to Asian people.

this isnt helping

By brendon February 05, 2009 @ 6:31 AM

Jennifer Aniston is a lunatic.  Her obsession with Brad Pitt is well documented, even though they broke up 4 GD years ago.  But surely she’s stopped talking about it by now, right?  I'm joking of course.  Of course she hasn’t stopped talking about, as you can see in this interview with the cast of "He’s Just Not That Into You".

Drew Barrymore: I remember when I first started dating, the big thing was Radioshack answering machines. It was such a huge deal to run home and check your messages. And when you could actually check from another phone? That was, like, the craziest thing ever!
Jennifer Aniston: I still have the cassette tapes of messages from my first boyfriend, my second boyfriend, my husband… it’s like saving love letters.

Uuff.  You know what, whatever, all I can think right now is that every single person in this GD movie is 10 years past the time when they should have figured out dating.  Aniston is 20.  How fucking dumb are they?  Maybe the sequel could be about explaining algebra, then make it a trilogy with a movie about the responsibility that comes with credit cards.

kristen stewart really likes weed

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 1:58 PM

It's not clear where this picture came from (full size here), but Twilight star Kristen Stewart has only been on this page once before, and that time was because she loved weed too.  She gets points for consistency if nothing else.

kelly clarkson denies shes gay

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 1:08 PM

I find it impossible to believe that anyone asked, but Kelly Clarkson would like you to know she’s not gay.  Us magazine says…

"I get that all the time.  People are like, 'Are you secretly a lesbian? Because I'd really love it.'
"Lesbians tell it to me all the time," she goes on. "I'm like, 'I'm glad it works for you, and I wish I liked women like that because often times, men are very hard for me, but I happen to like boys.'"
Clarkson goes on to say she "could never be a lesbian. I would never want to date [someone like] myself, ever. I'm a crazy person. I need some kind of stable, quiet man."

You really shouldn’t say things like "I need some kind of stable" when you’re as fat as Kelly Clarkson.

wtf! – update (!)

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 11:52 AM

Aww god dammit.  Is everyone in Hollywood on HGH except me?  This is bullshit.  If anyone out there has a hookup for HGH let me know.  I’m not kidding.  I want that shit.   Tom Cruise was a mess a few months ago, now look at him yesterday in Brazil.  He's like a damn underwear model.  I just drafted him as a free safety in my fantasy league.  

(picture source = splash news.  Im tryng to get better and more of these pictures.  And I’m not even remotely kidding about the HGH.  Someone hook my ass up.  Im gonna get all buff and shit.)

UPDATE – finally a better picture, full size here.

a hero we can believe in

By brendon February 04, 2009 @ 11:51 AM

A 28-year-old from Houston has just broken the world record for the largest implants after her latest surgery brought her chest up to 38KKK, although it's not clear if she loves big tits or is just really really racist.  The New York Post says…

Sheyla Hershey's massive 38KKK breasts have been declared the world's biggest boob job, according to Britain's Daily Star.
The 28-year-old, a Texas housewive, has had nine operations to get her up to this size.
She traveled to Brazil to get her last procedure which took her from an FFF to a KKK after Texas officials refused to do it, for fear that her breasts could explode.
Hershey, from Houston, said: "To me, big is beautiful. I don't think I have anything to worry about."

At first I thought this might be dangerous, but then I read that doctors in South America agreed to do it.  The first words that jump into my mind when I think of South America are "responsible" and "sanitary".  It's almost like living in the future.

(more pictures in the Post)