Lady Gaga Is Pretending That She Invented A Flying Dress (VIDEO)

By Travis November 13, 2013 @ 12:00 PM

At a random ceremony in the Bronx, attention-deprived pop star Lady Gaga unveiled her latest stupid fashion design, “VOLANTIS,” which she claims is the world’s first flying dress. What VOLANTIS actually is would be better described as a hilariously dumb one-person helicopter with a harness shaped sort of like a white dress. Even more accurately, it could be referred to as a flying death trap that will undoubtedly get someone killed, maybe even Lady Gaga herself. And I imagine that Lady Gaga’s funeral would just be a complete mess since there’d be no one to tell people when they should clap.

Courtney Stodden’s Freakishly Large Breasts Drove Doug Hutchison Away

By Travis November 13, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

With the entire world still in disbelief over the fact that love is truly dead after Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison announced their separation, Courtney was quickly and conveniently in front of a camera to tell E! all about what went wrong. According to the 19-year old who looks like she’s late 30s at best, Doug simply couldn’t put up with the constant changes that Courtney was making to her body, from her stupidly massive fake tits to something as trivial as her ridiculously fake blonde hair extensions.

“He was so in love with me and he was, like, ‘You’re beautiful the way you are,’ kind of like the au naturel, organic thing,” Stodden told E!, adding “He was like, ‘You’re beautifully organically, why would you change something that’s perfect?’ Amazing that they spent all of this money on unnecessary surgeries and procedures for her and they never once thought to get Doug’s eyes fixed.

Photo Credits: Winston Burris/

Bar Refaeli Is The Bravest Woman In The World

By Travis November 13, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Israeli supermodel Bar Refaeli underwent surgery to have a beauty mark removed from her stomach yesterday, and the brave warrior princess that she is, Bar posed for a photo and posted it to her Instagram right before the procedure. While most women would have requested a week off from work for such an operation and probably sued the doctor for malpractice at even the slightest sign of a headache, Bar got right back to doing what matters most – posing in her bikini on the beach. They say that bravery and courage are dead in this world, but I’d argue that Bar just showed us a thing or two. Namely her breasts.

Conan O’Brien Pusses Out on Muslim Joke

By Lex November 13, 2013 @ 9:17 AM

Apologizing for offensive jokes is like taking a dump in the humor sacrament. Everybody is offended by something. That can’t possibly be a standard. Conan O’Brien pulled a Tweet about the new Marvel comics superhero, Ms. Marvel, following cries of racism and disparagement of Muslims. Oh, boo fucking hoo. No, it’s not a particularly funny joke, if for no other reason than Conan’s Twitter writer didn’t know that the Ms. Marvel character is a high school girl in the new storyline. But it’s just a joke. Obama might feel a need to never use the word Muslim within ten Ramadans of the word terrorism, but comedians are supposed to be beyond the political art of cowardice. Offended people will always find a way to be offended. You know what’s truly disparaging of Muslims? Assuming they can’t take a fucking joke.

And Yet They Just Keep on Posing for 138 Water

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 7:23 PM

Amanda Cerny Poses In A Bikini For A Commercial Photo Shoot For 138 Water In Santa Monica
I dug a little deeper. 138 Water is being produced by The Clairvoyance Group in Los Angeles. Yeah, that doesn’t sound like a Scientology front whatsoever. But, then, there’s this:

Millions of people across the country walk around for the better part of the day and evening with a bottle of water, so we felt it was the right time to introduce the first fashion water that plays into an individual’s sense of style. Just like mobile phones have become a fashion accessory, we feel the same will be true of water. — Thibault Mauvilain, Hollywood paparazzo and co-founder of 138 Water

That sounds so incredibly obnoxious that it almost has to be real. And the colors: Cool Blue, Leave-Me-Alone Black, Pretty in Pink, Sunshine Yellow, Funky Purple, Sexy Red, Going Green and Orange You Glad We Made Orange. No, I’m not fucking kidding. You can have your Leave Me Alone Black bottle of water for just two bucks a pop. If you could find it.

That’s Amanda Cerny in a bikini for yet another 138 water photo shoot. Presumably, somebody is fronting the cash for all of this. The Others?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet

You Don’t Know Shit About Commitment (VIDEO)

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 6:07 PM

I was perusing the Gay Voices section of HuffPo, it’s basically the sports section for their enlightened audience, reading about Peter Pavlensky. He’s a street artist slash political protestor, which means he has two jobs that pay nothing and make him super fucking annoying. But I’ll tell you something Peter does have, he has commitment. In previous attempts to voice his concern over the civil rights trampling Russian government, Peter has both wrapped his bare body in barbed wire and also sewn his lips shut together. But for today’s number, Peter wanted to show he really had balls. So he nailed his scrote to the cobblestone steps outside the Kremlin. It’s kind of a Jesus meets West Hollywood dungeon thing. No Alec Baldwin crocodile tears for Peter Pavlensky. Just a stoic face and a polite request for the police not to use the rusty pliers.

Alec Baldwin’s Stalker Makes Him Cry in Court

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 5:48 PM

You or I should be so lucky to have a decent looking Canadian actress stalking us for crazy person sex. Not Alec Baldwin. He welled up some baby doll cheek squirts today in court when Genevieve Sabourin started heckling him for being a lying wussbag when he denied having sex with her. Baldwin went on to blubber about how frightened he was with all her emails and voicemails and even showing up at his Hamptons house unannounced. I think at one point Genevieve even started reciting the dismal ratings reports for Baldwin’s MSNBC show nobody is watching. Finally something worth wallowing over. On his way out of court, Alec spotted a paparazzi he knew and told him ‘I hope you choke to death.’ Now there’s the Alec Baldwin we all love.

Here’s a quickie interview with Genevieve outside the courthouse. I only need to see a few seconds of the Cannuck to see just how nuts she is. The fact that she left a message for Alec saying she wanted to ‘make a mini-Baldwin’ with him is just icing on the cuckoo cake. She needs a room next to Amanda Bynes where the two can talk about who’s had naughtier sex with Abe Lincoln.

Photo Credit: WENN, Genevieve Sabourin/Twitter

Genevieve Morton Poses in Lingerie

By Lex November 12, 2013 @ 5:04 PM

Genevieve Morton Poses In Her Underwear For Pom Pom LA Lingerie
Women must buy a shit ton of underwear because there are about a thousand different nameplates outside the sweatshops in Mynamar. By my count, there are three different options for men’s undergarments. If you’re in a store with a ton of underwear options for guys, think before you Facebook your location. It’s probably time to tell your parents you’re gay.

Genevieve Morton is pretty damn hot. She’s South African so her odds of being murdered in a home invasion robbery are 3:2. Enjoy her now in her vintage porn socks.

Photo Credit: The Riker Brother/POMPOMLA