Sheryl Crow is in a bikini, freaking me out

By brendon February 24, 2012 @ 8:14 PM

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Sheryl Crow, who is 50, spent the morning on the beach in Maui with her son Levi, and according to the photo agency, “Crow looked stunning in a two-piece bikini.”

Foolishly, I called their bluff and opened the pictures.

(image source = fame/flynet)

Chris Brown totally stole this girls $500 phone

By brendon February 24, 2012 @ 6:24 PM

Christal Spann is the woman who claims she took a picture of Chris Brown, who then stole her phone (a $500 iPhone 4S) and yelled, “Bitch, you not gonna put this up on a website.” And in this video taken moments after the incident, Spann and her two friends seem sincere as they tell the police what happened, and there’s no apparent discrepancies between what they say here and what they would say later in the police report.

Brown hasn’t said anything about this on his twitter, and no warrant has been issued yet, but if it is, and he’s found guilty, that would violate his probation. But first they have to prove that someone with such a well documented respect for women would steal a girls phone and call her a bitch. Good luck with that.

Victor Cruz turned down Madonna at the Super Bowl

By brendon February 24, 2012 @ 5:12 PM

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Madonna became famous when she released her debut album in 1983. She was 23 at the time. New York Giants wide receiver Victor Cruz was -3 at the time.

This, along with the fact that she’s a mean bitch, might be a clue to explain why Cruz turned Madonna down, twice, when she tried to arrange a meeting; first at the Super Bowl and then again at a party a few days later.

Gosh, I wonder if a rep for Madonna will try to spin this.

A rep for the singer insists Madonna was only trying to connect with him for professional reasons.
“(Madonna) needed footage of him doing his salsa dance. She wanted to try it at a press conference.”

Oh well of course. That makes perfect sense. Because the best way to get footage of him doing his touchdown dance would be to ask him personally. He probably carries around a highlight DVD just in case someone needs one. And his version is so unique and elaborate, he’s the only who could ever explain it. It’s as though I’m transported to a 1940′s Cuban nightclub every time I see it.

Gerard Butler is already out of rehab

By brendon February 24, 2012 @ 4:25 PM

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This morning it was reported that Gerard Butler checked himself into the Betty Ford Center to get help for an addiction to prescription painkillers, and this is either a very good sign or a very bad sign but he’s already out.

“Gerard has completed a successful course of treatment and has returned home in good health,” says the spokesperson. “We will not be making any further comment at this time.”
Butler, 42, checked himself into three weeks ago because he realized he was becoming reliant on prescription drugs after being badly injured in a surfing accident in December.
Butler’s issues reportedly date back to 2006, when he began struggling with pain management while shooting ’300′.

He also reportedly has “developed issues” with cocaine, “but his primary concern was the prescription drugs.” Which makes sense if for no other reason than Columbian drug cartels are easier to deal with than an HMO.

(source = people and tmz)

Chris Brown robbed and threatened a fan

By brendon February 23, 2012 @ 8:24 PM

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Chris Brown is constantly surrounded by haters, like the girl whose iPhone he stole while yelling, “Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website.” She actually went to the police if you can believe that, because she be tryin to tear a good brotha down.

CBS News in Miami says…

According to the Miami Beach police incident report, Chris Brown and rapper Tyga were leaving the Cameo nightclub on Miami Beach on Feb. 19th when a fan followed him outside to his car.
When Brown got into his Black Bentley, Christal Shanae Spann pulled out her iPhone and took a picture … Spann told police Brown got angry, reached through his car window and snatched the phone from her hands.
The singer then told her, “Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website,” according to the report. Brown then rolled up his window and drove away with her iPhone.

Daamn, this Christal girl is just as bad as everyone who still brings up Rihanna and her bashed-in face. Brown is all about positivity now, the whole stolen iPhone thing was almost a week ago. All these haters need to stop living in the past and focus on Chris Browns bright future. Peace and God Bless.

Paris Hilton has a terrific new song

By brendon February 23, 2012 @ 7:28 PM

Paris Hilton has a new spoken word techno single about texting, and if it’s possible, it’s even better than that made it sound.

Not only will it easily win all the 2013 Grammies, but they should give her all the 2012 Grammies too. I know they already gave most of those to Adele, but they should take them back and give them to Paris, this song is that good.

Sacha Baron Cohen is or is not banned from the Oscars

By brendon February 23, 2012 @ 7:02 PM

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Sacha Baron Cohen is invited to the Academy Awards on Sunday because he’s one of the stars of ‘Hugo’, which is nominated for Best Picture. And apparently that’s terrifying to some people because of his habit of showing up places in character to promote his new movies.

New movies like the one where he plays a murderous Arab dictator, for example.

the Academy is making it clear that Cohen is not welcome to use the red carpet as a platform for a promotional stunt for his upcoming movie The Dictator, and other sources say the threat of booting him became more substantial on Wednesday.
“We haven’t banned him,” an Academy spokesperson tells The Hollywood Reporter. “We’re just waiting to hear what he’s going to do.”

They should just ban him now, before he shows up and does something that makes the other murderous Arab dictators look bad. That could really hurt their feelings.

take notes Chris Brown

By brendon February 23, 2012 @ 5:28 PM

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Rihanna has apparently let Chris Brown off the hook for punching her in the face until she blacked out, but clearly other big stars aren’t so forgiving fucking retarded. Like Miranda Lambert, who held up this sign during a concert and then sang ‘Gunpowder and Lead,’ which is about domestic violence and a woman who fantasizes about killing her abuser.

And there’s this video posted by WWE superstar C.M. Punk, where he calmly invites Brown into a ring, and among other awesome things, says…

“I will make you feel as weak and as powerless and scared and alone as any woman who has had the misfortune of knowing a sad, cowardly little boy such as yourself.”

But obviously Brown will never get into a ring with Punk because Brown is only brave enough to fight unsuspecting girls. If he did fight Punk it would look like a childbirth video. And by that I mean it would end with Brown in a hospital, curled up and crying and covered in oozing blood.