Charlie Sheen is still a violent, drunken asshole

The last time we saw Charlie Sheen, he was having sex with prostitutes in the bed he shares with his wife and threatening to saw off his wife's head, and CBS was laughing about it and giving him a huge new contract for his comedy about raising a child. Sheen never did any jail time for this, naturally, but he did have to spend 30 days in rehab, and wow did it ever work wond oh wait never mind he's still the same...read more

Jordan Bratman won't leave

Christina Aguilera was back on stage last night for the first time since announcing her divorce, performing at Justin Timberlakes annual charity concert in Las Vegas. Then it was right back home. Which in this case is a hotel room since her husband won't leave her real home. The Sun says... CHRISTINA AGUILERA has moved into a hotel — because her soon-to-be ex-husband is still living at home. And Jordan has no plans to...read more

its Playmates trying on sexy costumes

Playmates Tiffany Jordan (blonde), Nicole Narain (brunette) and Christi Shake (red head) went costume shopping this weekend, perhaps to reinvent themselves as they run from their past. Or maybe for Halloween. I didn't really read the fine print because I have a 100 degree fever today. Tell them to stop spinning around so I can whack off to one.read more

Lindsay Lohan needs a sponser to pay for rehab

Lindsay Lohan doesn't have any money because work is no fun and drugs are expensive, so it makes you wonder how she's gonna pay for 4 months in rehab at the prestigious Betty Ford Center. And apparently it makes her wonder too, because she has absolutely no idea. Popeater says... "Lindsay can't afford to pay for treatment," a friend told me. "Three months at the facility will cost her almost $50,000, which she doesn't...read more

Anne Heche is easily relaxed

Anne Heche was walking around in New York today, and, as famous and totally-not-crazy people often do, she stopped and took a nap on a bench outside a store. In her defense, the demons in her head were humming a soothing lullaby at the time, and that wooden bench does look comfy. Anyone would have a hard time keeping their eyes open in a situation like that. (source = inf daily)read more

Megan Fox. And a tiger.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green went to the Big Cat Encounters Ranch in Pahrump, Nevada, and played with an adult tiger and even got to feed a baby tiger with a bottle of milk. As the male, Brian will now be accepted by the tigers from this day on, and they'll welcome him back forever. Even other tigers will know it. So, if Brian is at the zoo or something, he should go give the tigers a big hug. Go on Brian, it'll...read more

Lindsay Lohan is spooky

Before going to court this morning and having the California legal system show its complete and undeniable incompetence once again, Lindsay Lohan stopped at a Starbucks in Moreno, California, and I guess they sell blankets now because she left wearing one. And then when they got in the van, the guy with the silver hair and mustache pulled it off her, like some kind of incredibly disappointing magic trick.read more

UPDATE - Lindsay is going back to rehab, NO JAIL TIME

8:08am - Lindsay Lohan was nice and early for court this morning, arriving at 8:03am for her 8:30am appearance before Judge Elden Fox for violating probation. She could be sentenced to up to one year in jail today, but that's unlikely. What is very likely is my boredom/disappointment. 8:20am - E! says Lindsay is very likely to go back to jail today. "Judge Elden Fox refused to meet with (Lohans attorney) Shawn Chapman...read more

Friday morning headlines

BRADLEY COOPER - was NOT one of the cast members who complained about Mel Gibson and got him kicked off 'Hangover 2', and only E! is giving credit/blame to anyone but Zach Galifianakis (they say it was Warner Brothers management). Nobody likes a tattle tale, Zach. (e!, tmz) CHRISTINA AGUILERA - says daily life is a struggle since deciding to get a divorce, and refuses to address any rumors of infidelity. "Out of...read more

Zach Galifianakis got Mel Gibson kicked off Hangover 2

The last time Mel Gibson gave a performance, it was theater of the mind, audio only, and his character was telling his girlfriend he was gonna kill her and bury her in his rose garden. Gibsons next role was supposed to be in 'the Hangover 2', which star Zach Galifianakis was less than happy about, according to New York Magazine. During a podcast for Comedy Death Ray, Zach said... "But a movie you're acting in, you...read more

so does Kanye West have diamond teef or not?

On Tuesday, Kanye West told Ellen DeGeneres that the new gold and diamonds in his mouth weren't simply laid on top of his real teeth, but they were his real teeth, because he had the old ones taken out and replaced with lavish jewels. Does he look like an idiot? Of course he does, but I included the video just in case you had any lingering doubts. Now here's the big question: did he really replace his teeth with...read more

Brooke Hogan is in a bikini

Brooke Hogan got up early this morning and went for a walk on Miami Beach in a red bikini, and as luck would have it, a photographer was there too. What a coincidence! Obviously I cropped a few of the pictures at the beginning, but, and I don't know why you would, but if you want the unedited ones, they start here. If I were you, I would stick to the cropped ones, but, it's your life man. I can't help you if you don't...read more

Did Jordan Bratman beat Christina Aguilera?

When Christina Aguilera announced last week that she and her husband Jordan Bratman had separated, most people were surprised. But the nurses at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center who helped stitch up her bloody lip a few days earlier probably weren't. Radar says... Christina Aguilera made a late-night trip to a Los Angeles hospital in the days leading up to her divorce. "Christina was bleeding from her mouth and had a bit...read more

Thursday morning headlines

JWOWW - has turned down a $400,000 offer to pose naked for Playboy. "I am not going to do Playboy in the near future. There is a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon." That money is gonna look pretty good a year from now when she's strapped to a spinning wheel of wood while someone throws knives at her. (huff post) DIANNA AGRON - of 'Glee' posted about their sexy GQ photo shoot. "If you...read more

someone (guess who) wanted to murder Matt and Trey

Back in April, ‘South Park' aired a 2 part episode about the Muslim prophet Muhammad, and since that religion is filled with dirty savages whose answer to everything is murder, they threatened to murder Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of 'South Park'. Luckily nothing ever happened, but not for lack of enthusiasm. Yesterday, a man in Virginia pleaded guilty to aiding an Islamic terrorist organization and...read more