Prince William Leaving the Military (He Was in the Military?)

Apparently, Prince William has spent the last almost eight years as a full time soldier. Well, airman. I guess he was deep cover pretending to be a polo playing and ball-attending prince during his stint in the R.A.F. because I had no fucking clue the future king of... read more

Rihanna Has A Lovely New Penis Purse

Always the classiest lady at the party, Rihanna left her hotel in London yesterday looking like she stole the curtains from a restaurant at Epcot and showing off her new gift from Vivienne Westwood – a purse with a giant gold penis on the side. Naturally, because she... read more

Charlie Sheen Finally Graduated High School (VIDEO)

Charlie Sheen lives in a mansion with several decent-looking female porn stars that he rotates in and out as he sees fit, while he collects paychecks on a 100-episode deal for Anger Management, despite the fact that he never even deserved it in the first place after his... read more

You Can Keep Courtney Stodden, England

Talentless and soulless vessel of silicon Courtney Stodden was eliminated from the UK's Celebrity Big Brother 12 last night, and in typical Courtney Stodden fashion, she departed looking like the inexpensive stripper that your uncle took to your dad's second wedding.... read more

A General Fuck You To Ignorant Cave Dwelling Assholes Everywhere

Every nation and people and culture on this planet is fucked up in some manner or form. We all have our assholes who'd rather ruin a party than throw a party. Some percentage of miscreants who just have to fuck everything up for everybody else. That being said, let's not... read more

Stephanie Cook In A Bikini

In my next life, I'm coming back as a redheaded model with big tits. That or a star NFL quarterback. The allure of sports fame is pretty powerful, but you'd still have to live knowing that the redheaded model with big tits is more powerful than you. Take for instance the... read more

Back to Work for Khloe and Kourtney

The Kardashians are like the postman. Nothing can stop them from making their appointed rounds. Not crackwhores or missing husbands or paternity allegations or even just having the shits from their amphetamine laced diet powder. These girls are earners. So back to the... read more

It's a Boy for the Girl Jordana Brewster Paid to Have Her Baby

There's really no more natural of a childbirth than to have a third party have your baby for you. I'm sure there are a variety of medical reasons that might necessitate using a rented womb to procreate. I'm also certain medical necessity is not the overarching factor in... read more

Not All Orange Pride Girls Were DTF (VIDEO)

Here's how institutional scandals always work. Some reasonably reliable media outlet announces they have dozens of witnesses in a multi-year investigation that they're going to print with knowing full well if they're not thorough in their sourcing and fact checking they... read more

Do Strippers Deserve The Minimum Wage?

A NY judge ruled in favor of the strippers at Rick's Cabaret in Manhattan that they deserve to be paid at least minimum wage. The ladies with daddy issues sued the club for withholding payment and charging them crazy fees for use of the club facilities. It seems strange... read more

Joanna Krupa Doesn't Know How To Fake Party

Outside of how to score blow in the world's 20 hottest resort cities, it's hard to imagine there's anything Paris Hilton could teach anybody about anything. But I think she could teach Joanna Krupa about how to get only fake wasted when she's the paid hostess at a... read more

A Prince Once Paid 500k To Sample Kristen Stewart's Sour Puss

Fat Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein told the NY Times about the time he convinced Kristen Stewart to hang out with a middle-eastern prince for $500,000. It seems that an unnamed royal from one of those despotic kingdoms where we get our oil REALLY likes Twilight. I... read more