Happy To Be Hooking

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 3:19 PM

Outside of the gruesome gangland style murders and the 8 billion street urchins, Brazil seems just like the happy place you find in the turn right after Central America on the It’s a Small World attraction at Disney. Even the hookers are happy. Or, so the government wants you to believe, running a ‘Happy to Be a Hooker’ campaign to promote their legal sex trade offerings to tourists and locals alike. The Brazilian government was forced to remove the ad campaign shortly after it commenced when they too realized that gap-toothed haggard looking street walkers with The AIDS weren’t actually happy.

Dina Lohan Stiffs A Charity

By Jack June 05, 2013 @ 3:00 PM

Dina Lohan is being sued for stiffing a charity and running out on a huge bill at a gala event last year. She ran up a monster bar tab trying to drink herself back to 46 and then pledged $1500 to The Clamshell Foundation, which helps underprivileged kids. Then, she didn’t pay up. She made big bucks exploiting her kids, but not enough leftover after the coke and Botox to hand over her pledge. Who the fuck stiffs a charity that helps kids? Can we come together as Americans and decide to put her down like the wretched dog that she is?

Victoria Beckham Always Looks Like A Released Hostage

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 2:27 PM

Victoria Beckham Carrying Her Daughter Through LAX
Maybe Victoria Beckham is in a prison. A prison in her mind. Behind the bars of her own fears and anxieties. Forcibly finger banged in the shower of her insecurities and shame. Or she might just be a rich model who hasn’t had a meal consisting of of more than 100 calories since 1997. Either way, she’s giving her daughter the same face.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, PCN, WENN

Gisele Bundchen Nude In Vogue

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 1:49 PM

Gisele Bundchen Nude In Vogue Italia Video "Luxury"
If there’s one thing I know absolutely nothing about, it’s women. So, trust me when I say that women love to see other women naked just as much as men do. They just need a little story and artistry with their porn. It seems like such an incredible waste of time. I could see Gisele Bundchen naked on a dirty floor mat in a Thai prison and be beyond pleased. The ladies would want to see her on a divan with a throwback hair style while she ponders family vs. career. We all get to tits in our own way.

Here’s Gisele in Vogue Italia. She’s getting a massage while looking askance. It means something.

Pam Anderson Is A Hot Sexist Domain Pig (VIDEO)

By Jack June 05, 2013 @ 1:03 PM

Breast beast and champion felator Pam Anderson’s new ad for a British web hosting ad has been pulled off the air…for sexism. In the commercial, (the campaign seems awfully familiar to Godaddy.com’s T&A aesthetic), Pam is an executive that encourages her underling to show more boob. The guys at the board meeting then envision the two of them dancing in bikinis while covered in suds and cream. Subtle. Sounds awesome, right? Well, some uptight Brits didn’t think so and they complained that the commercials were demeaning to women and reverted to semi-porn and sexism to sell web domains and the ad was yanked off the air. What is most confusing is that British TV generally shows much more tits, ass, and general profanity than we do on our network TV. I know they like that shit. I grew up on Benny Hill and that was nothing but a fat old guy messing with chicks in bikinis. We saved their asses in WWII and now they’re spitting on our American tits. Learn some appreciation, England.

Paris Jackson Slits Her Wrists (That Ain’t Good)

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 12:19 PM

Update: Meat cleaver and a suicide note.

Jesus, the sins and crap of the father and all that.

Paris was taken out of her Calabasas family house on a stretcher at around 2 AM and taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital.

The 911 call came in at 1:27 AM. The caller said Paris had cut her wrists. — TMZ.com

Anybody who wants to trade their relatively normal boring and lame family upbringing for growing up in the magical Neverland, speak now.

Here’s Paris’ Tweets from late last night before the incident. Welcome to 2013.

Photo Credit: Getty, WENN

Miley Cyrus Flashes Some Boob

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 11:53 AM

Miley Cyrus Underboob Exposed While Covering Her Face In Los Angeles
You wouldn’t think it kind of me if I said I prefer to see the World’s Sexiest Woman according to Maxim blocking her face with her designer handbag and flashing some of her boobs. But I’m not a kind man.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Splash

Jessica Lowndes In Lingerie For Toro Magazine

By Lex June 05, 2013 @ 11:23 AM

Jessica Lowndes In Lingerie For Toro Magazine

Photo Credit: Toro Magazine