Michael Lohan Nobly Blames Himself for Lindsay’s Drug Problems

By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 11:27 AM

Lindsay Lohan Smokes A Cigarette As She Walks Around SoHo
Just when you thought Michael Lohan couldn’t be more of a Sir Walter Raleigh figure, he goes and takes the blame for Lindsay turning from a teen party girl into a 20-something fall down drunk and drug addict.

“It was not her fault. I love her for saying that, but there was no need to say it.”

Specifically, Michael blames his divorce from Dina as the trigger for Lindsay’s substance abuse. Which is a nice way of not blaming the alleged beatings he gave his wife, pushing his young daughter into show business to pay the family bills, his multiple stints in jail and prison, his own drug addictions, his betrayals of her confidence to turn a buck for himself, his cheesy public affairs and siring of more children, and just having some really unfortunate looking hair plugs. To name a few. So, just like Sir Walter Raleigh, if Raleigh had been a total shitbag. Way to fall on the sword, Mikey.

Here’s Lindsay in SoHo yesterday. Everybody’s saying she’s never looked better, which roughly translates to, ‘I can’t believe she’s still alive.’

Photo Credit: PCN, Splash

Miley Cyrus Kind Of Raps On 23 (VIDEO)

By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

The reason that Miley Cyrus Tweeted that picture of her looking like a stripper at a 1993 NBA All-Star Game after party the other day was because she was dressed up for her part in filming the music video for Mike Will Made It’s “23,” which conveniently leaked online around the same time that Miley was prepping for her memorable MTV VMA performance. In the leaked sample of the track, we actually get to hear Miley rapping, as she name drops Naughty By Nature and references their 1993 hit “Hip Hop Hooray.”

So if you still don’t believe that this is a huge practical joke being played on white America by a bunch of rappers, then I don’t know what else to tell you.

Olivia Munn Shows Off Her Cleavage At ‘The Late Show’

By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 10:56 AM

Olivia Munn Shows Off Her Cleavage As She Arrives At 'The Late Show' In New York

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, INFphoto.com, PCN

Khloe Kardashian Really Wants Some Privacy

By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

While her husband, Lamar Odom, was allegedly staying in a hotel room somewhere, smoking more crack than a big city mayor, and finally resurfaced in public looking like he’d been in a steam room for three weeks, Khloe Kardashian Odom was showing everyone how brave and supportive she was when she hit the gym yesterday in a pair of his socks and holding his sweater. At least everyone will call her brave, because that’s usually what happens when a famous woman goes about her daily routine after her husband does something humiliating.

Any other random woman would get, “Look at this stupid bitch pretending that he husband doesn’t smoke crack.” But with Khloe it’s more, “Hey, at least she’s not holed up in a Golden Corral.”

(Photo Credits: WENN.com)

Kate Gosselin Sues Jon Gosselin Because She Can

By Lex August 28, 2013 @ 9:29 AM

Kate Gosselin At A Zappos Marathon In Las Vegas
Kate Gosselin is suing her ex-husband Jon because she wants money. I ran it through my pea-sized brain why else it could be, but, no, it’s just money. Whatever that dipshit has left from paying child support for eight kids, she wants it. So about two cents. She claims Jon hacked into her computer and email and bank accounts to get information for a tell-all book he had written about her a year ago that nobody bought. Because until one of them murders the other or one of the kids wipes them both out in their sleep for making the nice cameramen go away, their media tale is over. Naturally, hacking into other people’s bank accounts is a Federal offense punishable by your heinous ex-wife suing you for money.

Photo Credit: Getty, WENN

Michael Douglas And Catherine Zeta-Jones Are Done

By Travis August 28, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

It has been a little more than four months since Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones were photographed together at the 40th anniversary of the Chaplin Award Gala and they’d been going on separate vacations during that time, so I thought everyone already basically assumed that they had divorced. But they were still faking along, pretending to be happy, until People revealed that they’re “taking a break” this week, which is fancy Hollywood slang for “the wife who is 25 years younger than the husband would like to start riding some young beef while her lady parts still work.”

To their credit, Michael and Catherine had been through a ton of personal and health shit during their 13-year marriage that would have killed most of us normal people, but they’ve persevered for the sake of their two young children. And also because they have a shitload of money.

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Madonna Still Makes More Money Than The God She Defiles

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 5:23 PM

Madonna Arrives At The World Premiere Of 'Madonna- The MDNA Tour' In New York
I don’t know what to say, twenty-five years into her popularity and Madonna is still owning the sport of selling shit like a pop star. Transferring dollars from young girls and dudes who love hair product into her own bank account. Make fun of her Skeletor looks, her desperate desire to act half her age, her purchased politically correct adopted children, her idiotic statements, her mostly moronic music, and on and on and on. Bitch be popping still. She earned $125 million this past year, more than even fucking Oprah, making her the top earning celebrity on the planet. She’s got scoreboard. She’s LeBron. You can no longer hate on her without sounding stupid.

Photo Credit: Getty

Teddy Bear Companies Want Miley Cyrus To Stop Humping Teddy Bears

By Lex August 27, 2013 @ 4:10 PM

The people who want to sell you Teddy Bear Picnic and Teddy Bears for Valentine’s Day and Teddy Bears for your cute little daughters want Miley Cyrus to stop using teddy bear costumes and imagery in her raunchy music videos and stage performances. They also want nobody anywhere ever to acknowledge the fact that many young girls discover their sexuality with Mr. Higglesworth getting frisky in the dark. Plus, good luck with making Miley Cyrus stop anything. Don’t you listen to her music? She can’t stop. She won’t stop. She owns herself and some other shit I can’t remember from her song. Besides, her teddy bear pornographification isn’t even close yet to what Colombian model Natalia Paris does with hers in videos…

In case you can’t get enough Miley up close and personal, we had a fan send in cell phone pictures right from the front lines of Miley’s VMA performance. Kasey was so close, the intoxicating scent of vinyl and Cyrus labial conditioner was inescapable. Now that sounds fucking glorious.