01.04.2012 Billy Baldwin has to fly coach

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I’m mean spirited and petty, so I squealed with delight to see Billy Baldwin flying coach on an Alaska Airlines flight to Idaho. It makes me feel better about myself when a famous person can’t afford to fly first class. I bet Gwyneth Paltrow would be surprised to see that they even have seats back there. If you asked her to describe coach she would probably say people sit on old wooden benches, and there’s goats and chickens walking around and hay on the floor and oars sticking out of the side of the plane, and it gets real windy when they put the landing gear down. Gwyneth Paltrow is an elitist cunt, is my point.

Anyway, Baldwin sat back there and read political cartoons in the LA Times, which perfectly fits the perception I have when it comes to where actors get their information about politics.

(image source = inf)


12.07.2011 Alec Baldwin was kicked off a plane

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The reason you’re not allowed to use electronic devices on a plane during take off and landing isn’t because planes aren’t iPad proof, but because that’s when most accidents happen, and you may need to quickly focus on emergency instructions. If the air bag drops down, and you take your headphones out and yell, “what the hell is this thing”, the flight attendant is probably just gonna flip you off, and rightfully so.

But apparently this is all news to Alec Baldwin, who got kicked off an American Airlines flight from LA to New York yesterday. He tweeted

“Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving.”

If it seems unreasonable to kick someone off a plane for quietly playing a game while parked at the gate, thats because it is, and because that’s not what happened. He left out the part where they were actually on the runway ready to take off and that he locked himself in the bathroom, screaming at everyone and pounding on the walls. The New York Post says…

“Apparently he said he was playing a game, but he was actually talking on the phone. She [the flight attendant] was very nice. The door was closed they just announced that they were pulling away from the gate. He got up threw his papers on the floor stormed into the bathroom slammed the door closed, beat on the wall and then came back.”
“He said ‘If you want to kick me off, kick me off.’ He was just crazy, he just flipped out, the guy has problems.”
A crew member who dealt with (Baldwin) said he couldn’t stay on the flight.
“He was violent, abusive and aggressive. He got into the bathroom and started beating on the wall and he pounded his fists on the galley counter. Yelling, screaming, very ugly. It was unsafe to keep him on board that’s why he got kicked out.”
The crew member did not want to give her name, but said she asked him five times to get off his phone.
“He was asked five times. I contacted the captain. We were brought back in and he was let off the plane.”

I like the phrase “thrown off a flight” because I picture a plane at 30,000 feet with the door open and two of the pilots each holding one of Baldwins arms and legs, swinging him back then flinging him out into the clouds. And then one of the pilots looks back into the cabin, gestures toward the open door and says, “no ticket”, like Indiana Jones did in ‘Last Crusade’, and then everyone would laugh because it’s a pretty good joke. The imaginary pilot I just made up has impeccable comic timing.

11.10.2011 Alec Baldwin fells bad for Joe Paterno

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If you were wondering if anyone could look like more of an asshole than Ashton Kutcher on twitter in regards to Joe Paterno, the short answer is yes. The somewhat longer answer is yes and it’s Alec Baldwin, who retweeted something earlier today with a #freepaterno hashtag (though he’s since deleted it) and who wrote this sequence last night:

- Add Paterno’s name to the list of people who exit the stage embroiled in a sex scandal. Sad.
- Oh. We have a lot of “attorneys” out there this evening.
- OK. For all your lawyers out there, molestation scandal.
- There is so little empathy in this world 2day. It’s truly pathetic. I didn’t say Paterno was innocent. I said that his story … ends on a sad note.

Wait does he really consider raping young boys to be the same thing as “sex”? Because it seems like a distinction had to be dragged out of him. He could really be in a tight hole now, which is ironic since that was Jerry Sanduskys problem too.

(source = twitter)


09.21.2011 One Million Moms hate Alec Baldwins balls

A few weeks ago, Ben and Jerrys announced a new limited edition ice cream called ‘Schweddy Balls” (described as, “vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls”), which of course takes it’s name from the famous SNL sketch starring Alec Baldwin.

Needless to say some joyless busy bodies have organized a delicious protest.

The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.
The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.
TAKE ACTION
Please send Ben & Jerry’s Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.

Hey, One Million Moms. Guess what. The whole god damn world doesn’t revolve around you and your stupid kid. Ben and Jerrys can make an ice cream with fish hooks and ecstasy tabs in it for all I care. Your kid, your problem. Leave the rest of us alone. And I bet that for every letter you write demanding this be stopped your husbands will write 2 demanding more if thats what it takes to keep your fat asses away from ice cream.

08.25.2011 Alec Baldwin has finally found love

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Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas must be Hollywoods most unlikely couple. He’s 53 after all, so you would think he wouldn’t be interested in a 27 year old yoga instructor. What could they have in common? What would they talk about? But he’s overlooked all that and recent pictures show her wearing a promise ring, with sources saying he has plans to get engaged. What a touching story! True love conquers all!

(image source = fame)


08.12.2011 Friday headlines, with Dianna Agrons pink hair

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COLDPLAY - announced today that their next record is called ‘Mylo Xyloto’. Which I believe is Latin for “Homo Music”. (coldplay.com)

ALEC BALDWIN - will host SNL for the 16th time during the season premiere on September 24th. Radiohead will be the musical guest. SNL has now been on the air for 37 years, which is astounding because if I were to make a list of things to do on a Saturday night, watching that joyless piece of shit wouldn’t crack the top hundred, even well behind things like “go to an observatory”, “wait for the zoo to open”, “stable my scrotum to things” and “sit perfectly still”. (yahoo)

ALEC BALDWIN - announced that he will not run for mayor of New York in 2013, but might at some point. I’ll try to to have a more comprehensive list of people who aren’t running for mayor on Monday. (ny times)

JANI LANE - died in a Woodland Hills Comfort Inn yesterday at the age of 47. The former Warrant lead singer was found with a half empty bottle of vodka and a yet unidentified bottle of prescription pills. Hopefully whoever found him thought to put him face down in a cherry pie before calling 911. Because hey, life can be funny sometimes. (msnbc)

DIANNA AGRON - was on the set of ‘Glee’ yesterday with sexy new pink hair. What a utopia this world would be if more hot girls followed Diannas lead and dyed their hair slutty colors. (pcn)