Alec Baldwin fells bad for Joe Paterno

By brendon November 10, 2011 @ 11:59 AM

baldwin_paterno_twitter

If you were wondering if anyone could look like more of an asshole than Ashton Kutcher on twitter in regards to Joe Paterno, the short answer is yes. The somewhat longer answer is yes and it’s Alec Baldwin, who retweeted something earlier today with a #freepaterno hashtag (though he’s since deleted it) and who wrote this sequence last night:

- Add Paterno’s name to the list of people who exit the stage embroiled in a sex scandal. Sad.
- Oh. We have a lot of “attorneys” out there this evening.
- OK. For all your lawyers out there, molestation scandal.
- There is so little empathy in this world 2day. It’s truly pathetic. I didn’t say Paterno was innocent. I said that his story … ends on a sad note.

Wait does he really consider raping young boys to be the same thing as “sex”? Because it seems like a distinction had to be dragged out of him. He could really be in a tight hole now, which is ironic since that was Jerry Sanduskys problem too.

(source = twitter)

One Million Moms hate Alec Baldwins balls

By brendon September 21, 2011 @ 2:32 PM

A few weeks ago, Ben and Jerrys announced a new limited edition ice cream called ‘Schweddy Balls” (described as, “vanilla ice cream with a hint of rum and loaded with fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls”), which of course takes it’s name from the famous SNL sketch starring Alec Baldwin.

Needless to say some joyless busy bodies have organized a delicious protest.

The vulgar new flavor has turned something as innocent as ice cream into something repulsive. Not exactly what you want a child asking for at the supermarket.
The ice cream is being released in a limited batch, which means it will be distributed nationwide but only for three or four months. If it proves popular, another batch might be forthcoming, but we hope not.
TAKE ACTION
Please send Ben & Jerry’s Public Relations Manager, Sean Greenwood, an email letter requesting that no additional Schweddy Balls ice cream be distributed. Also, highly recommend they refrain from producing another batch with this name or any other offensive names or you will no longer be able to purchase their products.

Hey, One Million Moms. Guess what. The whole god damn world doesn’t revolve around you and your stupid kid. Ben and Jerrys can make an ice cream with fish hooks and ecstasy tabs in it for all I care. Your kid, your problem. Leave the rest of us alone. And I bet that for every letter you write demanding this be stopped your husbands will write 2 demanding more if thats what it takes to keep your fat asses away from ice cream.

Alec Baldwin has finally found love

By brendon August 25, 2011 @ 4:03 PM

alec_baldwin_girlfriend

Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas must be Hollywoods most unlikely couple. He’s 53 after all, so you would think he wouldn’t be interested in a 27 year old yoga instructor. What could they have in common? What would they talk about? But he’s overlooked all that and recent pictures show her wearing a promise ring, with sources saying he has plans to get engaged. What a touching story! True love conquers all!

(image source = fame)

Friday headlines, with Dianna Agrons pink hair

By brendon August 12, 2011 @ 4:39 PM

dianna_agron_pink_hair

COLDPLAY – announced today that their next record is called ‘Mylo Xyloto’. Which I believe is Latin for “Homo Music”. (coldplay.com)

ALEC BALDWIN – will host SNL for the 16th time during the season premiere on September 24th. Radiohead will be the musical guest. SNL has now been on the air for 37 years, which is astounding because if I were to make a list of things to do on a Saturday night, watching that joyless piece of shit wouldn’t crack the top hundred, even well behind things like “go to an observatory”, “wait for the zoo to open”, “stable my scrotum to things” and “sit perfectly still”. (yahoo)

ALEC BALDWIN – announced that he will not run for mayor of New York in 2013, but might at some point. I’ll try to to have a more comprehensive list of people who aren’t running for mayor on Monday. (ny times)

JANI LANE – died in a Woodland Hills Comfort Inn yesterday at the age of 47. The former Warrant lead singer was found with a half empty bottle of vodka and a yet unidentified bottle of prescription pills. Hopefully whoever found him thought to put him face down in a cherry pie before calling 911. Because hey, life can be funny sometimes. (msnbc)

DIANNA AGRON – was on the set of ‘Glee’ yesterday with sexy new pink hair. What a utopia this world would be if more hot girls followed Diannas lead and dyed their hair slutty colors. (pcn)

Alec Baldwin wants to be mayor of New York City

By brendon June 08, 2011 @ 3:14 PM

alec_baldwin

Alec Baldwin has been interested in politics for a long time, and today both the Hollywood Reporter and the Daily say the current political climate has him seriously considering a run for office, and what better place to get his feet wet than as mayor of the fourth largest city on earth.

Alec Baldwin is considering a run for New York City mayor now that Rep. Anthony Weinermay pull out of the race due to the Weinergate-Twitter photo scandal, according to a new report.
“Alec said, ‘Hey, maybe this changes the race. The dynamics have shifted,’” a Baldwin pal told iPad newspaper The Daily. “The Democrats need a high-profile candidate, and Alec can fill that bill.”
“I wouldn’t rule it out,” his rep, Matthew Hiltzik tells The Hollywood Reporter.
Baldwin, an active Democrat, has long mulled going into politics. He’s also announced his last year on 30 Rock will be 2012, which would free up his schedule ahead of the 2013 mayoral elections.

I can’t believe I even have to say this out loud, but being handsome and liking politics aren’t qualifications to be mayor of New York. I’m cute as a button and like roller coasters, that doesn’t mean I should be allowed to go to Six Flags and build one.

Alec Baldwin might replace Keith Olberman on MSNBC

By brendon January 25, 2011 @ 5:43 PM

alec_baldwin_fag

Keith Olberman is a prissy little dandy who divided his time on MSNBC between self indulgent temper tantrums and sniveling at the boot of those in power, and it was in this spirit that he left his cushy job on Friday, a job that was paying him 7 million dollars a year in exchange for getting his ass handed to him in the ratings.

One reason he reportedly left was money. He felt underpaid, and probably thinks MSNBC will come crawling back now that he’s flexed his might and shown how irreplaceable he is.

Or…

MSNBC is looking to find a new marquee star for its growing brand, and sources tell me their ultimate wish list is topped by none other than Alec Baldwin.
“He’s already part of the NBC family, has a huge fan base and is very respected for his long term passions for politics,” a network source tells me, adding that Alec is very high, perhaps even No. 1, on the wish lists of MSNBC bigwigs.

Even people who don’t agree with Baldwins politics (like me) freely admit he’s smart, funny, and charismatic as all hell, so suffice to say this would be a massive upgrade over that nerdy doofus Olberman. Olberman could have a story about the antidote for the jar of poison I just drank and I’d still just watch Pawn Stars and hope for the best.