Ireland Baldwin In A Bikini On A Boat With Her Family

By Lex July 19, 2013 @ 1:25 PM

Ireland Baldwin In A Bikini On A Boat With Her Family In The Hamptons
I’m not usually one for checking out family vacation photos of attractive teen girls, although that would be one amazing fucking Tumblr site. But I guess Ireland Baldwin wants us all to see her in her bikini because she keeps putting her photos out on Instagram. It’s important we get these next gen Baldwin family photos if for no other reason than to use in articles ten years from now when they all start beating the crap out of people and getting arrested.

Photo Credit: Ireland Baldwin/Instagram

Alec Baldwin Thinks He’s A Journalist Now

By Jack July 05, 2013 @ 2:19 PM

America’s paunchy drunk uncle Alec Baldwin wants to travel to Russia to interview Edward Snowden for his podcast. Baldwin has a podcast on WNYC and I guess that qualifies him to get the interview every journalist in the world would cut off their left nut/vulva lip to get.

“I want to try to interview him for my podcast on WNYC. I’m pressing all the buttons I have in London with friends of mine who know Julian Assange. I’m going to fly to Russia and try to interview Snowden… I’m going to try.”

Celebrities often act like they have Ph.Ds in political science or economics. They just love to spout their mouths off about shit they scanned in HuffPo in first class from N.Y. to L.A.  It’s even worse when they’ve summarily studied to play a character, like, oh, Jack Ryan, an intelligence analyst tasked with bringing in a defecting Soviet submariner. Compared to that, getting to Snowden in a Moscow airport hotel will be a piece of cake. But, Alec, you were so much younger than. And, also, that was fake.

Alec Baldwin Threatens To Quit a Bunch of Shit

By Jack July 03, 2013 @ 4:10 PM

Alec Baldwin is threatening to not only quit Twitter but acting too. In an interview in Vanity Fair he talks about how it’s Twitter’s fault that he keeps saying stupid shit. He said of social media in general that, “It’s just another chink in your armor for people to come and kill you.” Like when you call out gay journalists as ‘toxic queens’ people will write nasty shit back to you. He says that he learned an important lesson from James Gandolfini’s funeral. No, not to be an all around gentleman and professional like the late star, just that Gandolfini didn’t have a Twitter account:

“I went to Jimmy Gandolfini’s funeral, and when I was there I realized Jimmy Gandolfini didn’t have Twitter. Jimmy Gandolfini was so beloved as a person, and he was so admired as an actor, and he didn’t give a fuck about social media. I really learned a lesson at the funeral. I said to myself, This is all a waste of time”

I guess if Tony Soprano had to die to teach Alec Baldwin a lesson about the perils of having a Twitter account, so be it. We all have to do our part to make his world a better place. Dick.

Alec Baldwin Apologized To His Gay Friends

By Travis July 01, 2013 @ 9:00 AM

After last week’s latest Twitter meltdown by Alec Baldwin, in which he called Daily Mail reporter George Stark a “toxic little queen” and threatened to shove his foot up his ass, it was only a matter of time before people started comparing the actor to Paula Deen. Baldwin went after Stark for writing that his wife, Hilaria Baldwin, had been texting at James Gandolfini’s funeral, which they naturally denied, but Baldwin’s critics wanted to know how his behavior was any different than Deen calling a bank robber the N-word and hosting a plantation-themed wedding, complete with black servers dressed as slaves.

Regardless, Baldwin apologized, citing his own efforts to end homophobia, and GLAAD has accepted his apology. Still, I think the only solution here is that Baldwin never touches Twitter again and his wife should have to pose nude. You know, once she’s all back to normal. (Or not, there’s a market for that, too.)

(Photo Credit: Getty)

Alec Baldwin Is Pretty Pissed At The Daily Mail

By Travis June 28, 2013 @ 10:00 AM

Alec Baldwin already quit Twitter once before because he was pissed off about something, so it shouldn’t be a surprise that he quit Twitter again in another hilariously pissy rage. Except this time, it was his “Alec Baldwin Foundation” profile that was deleted, because nothing says, “Hey, we’re good people doing good things” like threatening to shove your foot up a Daily Mail reporter’s ass and calling him a “toxic little queen”.

The latest freakout occurred after the Daily Mail accused Alec’s pregnant 32-year old wife, Hilaria Baldwin, of Tweeting during James Gandolfini’s funeral yesterday. Alec denied it, obviously, and he’s probably telling the truth because celebrities pay people to run their Twitter accounts now – except for Alec, of course – but that’s no fun when it’s easier to simply blindly pass judgment on people.

(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

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Alec Baldwin in a Heated Argument With Pregnant Wife

By Steve G. May 13, 2013 @ 12:23 PM

Alec Baldwin And Hilaria Thomas Arguing In New York

Well, that’s if you believe Radar Online. Here’s what I do notice looks sinister. Alec is raising his cell phone to a pregnant woman. He’s likely trying to irradiate his future baby with the electromagnetic pulse weapon that once gave cancer to a bunny in a Blue State college laboratory. Also, he has incredibly hirsute arms. Men with hairy limbs are often very bad people, most especially in movies involving Middle Eastern terrorist plots. Finally, that matching half of a poodle set Alec is leading along by a pink cute bone leash looks to have doggy AIDS. In an agitated state, it could snap and infect his yoga teacher wife. Heated argument? Hard to say. But is Alec clearly trying to give his pregnant wife cancer, AIDS, and a Jihadist suicide bombing mission? It would seem so.

Photo Credit: Splash