MSNBC says that bossy pain-in-the-ass Madonna is already, brace yourself for the shock of your life, acting like a bossy pain-in-the-ass with her new bf, New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez.  To his great credit, he's already getting tired of it and is beginning to simply ignore her.  The Scoop says…

Even before the ink was dry on Madonna’s divorce decree, her rumored beau, Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez, was beginning to distance himself from her beloved Kabbalah.  A source close to the Kabbalah Centre says that A-Rod has backed out of attending private classes with spiritual leader Eitan Yardeni, canceling them at the last minute.  "He hasn’t even finished Kabbalah 1 (the introduction to the study of Kabbalah) and the majority of the time he’s spent with Yardeni so far was for counseling, not study," says the source.

I'm pretty sure ARod is only banging this whore as some sort of novelty, like you would with a chick from another planet, or an Eskimo. Because why else would he?  Why would anyone?  She's disgusting to look at, I'd rather kiss someone’s foot, and her sinewy ass must be terrifying to see naked.  Unlike myself, as everyone at my gym is lucky enough to know all too well.  Let's just say the unitard I wear doesn’t leave much to the imagination.

For months the rumor has been that Madonna has been dating Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, and now that her divorce to Guy Ritchie has been formally announced, its assumed the two can now go public.  Rodriquez was seen at her concert two nights ago, and now they may even be planning a trip to Malawi, the impoverished African nation and home of her adopted son, David.  MSNBC says…

Now that divorce is imminent, it’s inevitable Madonna’s relationship with Yankee slugger Alex Rodriguez is going to be scrutinized all over. His appearance at her Oct. 12 concert in New York City doesn't help the situation.
“Before the show (Rodriguez) wasn’t there, but after the lights went down and she started singing, he came in and sat front and center,” says a source who sat near A-Rod.
Madonna’s plans with A-Rod extend beyond the concert: the singer is reportedly planning a trip to Malawi when her tour ends, and A-Rod is said to be joining her.
A source from the Kabbalah Centre in New York City says that before that trip, “expect them to make a public appearance together at the Kabbalah Centre here.”

Why?  Why on earth would anyone date this bony pain in the ass?  Maybe the Madonna 20 years ago, but now?  She’s all used up.  She has to be so cavernous down there that she can’t even use normal female products.  I expect if she took off her pants at the right time of the month, you'd see a tail from a coonskin cap hanging out of her.

The news that Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced comes on the hells of nagging rumors about the relationship between Madonna and New York Yankees third basemen Alex Rodriguez, who is also in the process of getting a divorce.  ARod was seen coming and going from Madonnas New York apartment on several occasions beginning in July, and while the two have insisted they are simply friends, Us magazine quotes a source today claiming they are "definitely romantic".

"Guy is not involved in this equation," the insider tells Usmagazine.com. "With or without A-Rod, Madonna and Guy haven't been 'together' for over a year - they have been privately separated."
An A-Rod source tells Us, "A-Rod and Madonna are more involved than ever.
"Alex has really missed spending time with Madonna. However, he understands the position Madonna's in."
The source tells Us six days ago that Madonna — who dined with Rodriguez Oct. 2 at Dos Caminos in NYC — "has agreed to be discreet about her relationship with A-Rod until her tour ends and a divorce is announced."

This is so weird.  Rodriquez is 33 and so rich he could roll around on bags of money like Scrooge McDuck if he wanted to.  Madonna is 50 and, between her cold clammy skin and the way she uses eye shadow, she looks like something that just climbed out of a well.  Add to all that the fact she’s been a whore for 35 years now.  Can you even feel anything in there at this point?  Humping her must feel like you’re fucking the curtains.

This is pretty hard to believe but whatever because who knows, but the Daily Star says today that a sex tape starring Madonna and New York Yankees superstar Alex Rodriguez is now being shopped around, with a 2 million dollar asking price.

A sleazy cameraman is trying to flog a tape he alleges shows the singer romping with US baseball hunk Alex Rodriguez.
He is demanding a fortune for the footage he claims was shot with a hidden camera in an apartment allegedly used by the pair for secret afternoon trysts.
Last night Madonna’s lawyers said they were “aware” of the lensman’s claims but were not commenting.
In a series of emails fired off to media outlets, he (the man who owns the tape) alleged the footage was shot two months ago in an apartment owned by a pal of Madonna she knows through her devotion to the Kabbalah religion.
The video man – who is also a friend of the apartment owner – claimed he found out and secretly installed a hidden camera in the living room with the lens pointed at the sofa.
He alleged the footage he recorded showed the pop superstar romping with New York Yankees ace A-Rod.

This is dumb for a hundred reasons but mostly because, as the Star points out, you can't just break into someone’s apartment and set up cameras.  If that were the case Megan Foxs bedroom would look like a press conference introducing King Kong.