The reason people think Alex Rodriguez is gay because he does things like spend the day working on his tan with his manly looking girlfriend and a little dog with a pink bow in it’s hair.
There’s no follow up point to this by the way, I’m just explaining why people think Alex Rodriguez is gay.
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Alex Rodriguez had a little get together at his mansion in Miami yesterday, and, no doubt by sheer coincidence, every - girl - there looked like a gladiator. Just like every other girl he’s ever hung out with. Oh but he’s not gay. He just likes shopping and waxing and having sex with people who have big muscles. And one time he asked the Yankees team doctor if a guy can get pregnant if a girl fucks him with a strap-on. “Because I can not afford to get pregnant right now,” he added.
(image source = splash, who say these were taken yesterday, even though the worlds series is on the tv behind rodriguez)
So, to recap, Alex Rodriguez divorced his wife, who looked like this, to date Madonna, who looked like this, then Cameron Diaz, who looked like this. And now he dates this girl, a model named Ella Magers.
As a society, are we still pretending we don’t have any high profile gay athletes? How much more clear does Rodriguez need to make it? Anyone who dates Madonna clearly doesn’t like women. Sex with her would be like a challenge from Fear Factor.
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Alex Rodriguez was at a parking meter in Miami yesterday, when suddenly he saw some paparazzi trying to take his picture. Thinking quickly, he ducked behind the meter to hide from them, which would have worked perfectly if the paparazzi were tyrannosaurus rex’s and their vision was based on movement.
In hindsight I guess I should have started this with a warning because I know it will be a real shock to Yankees fans to learn that ARod completely folds under pressure.
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Last week there was a rumor that Alex Rodriguez and Cameron Diaz had broken up, but it turns out the source of that rumor was Perez Hilton, who is a jackass, possibly retarded, with a long history of simply making things up.
That seems to be the case this time too, because these pictures show Cameron and Alex in Miami earlier today, going to Starbucks and having lunch and then getting on a private jet. People says they also went and looked at the new house he’s building. So I’m guessing he’s still dating her. You don’t show a girl where you live unless you like her. I’ve had girlfriends that never even knew my real name.
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Last week there was a rumor that Alex Rodriguez, just like the rest of us, wanted his girlfriend to have bigger tits, and so he asked her to get breast implants. His girlfriend being Cameron Diaz, of course. Well apparently her answer was no because he dumped her. A source says…
“They’ve broken up. [Cameron is] hurt and betrayed, because she tried so hard to please him … She went overboard.”
Awww, and this should have been such an exciting time for Cameron, since her movie ‘Bad Teacher’ comes out in three weeks. I love the scene in the trailer where she dresses real sexy for the class car wash! Hubba-hubba! The cars are lined up around the block for her, ha-ha, while her frumpy rival has very few cars! Because Cameron is so sexy! Do you get it? Everyone loves leathery middle-aged women who act like they’re 20!
