Last night was the much anticipated Hollywood premiere of Brad Pitts “Inglorious Basterds”, and jesus christ Angelina Jolie is still the hottest piece of ass on the planet and it’s not even close. And I’ve officially had it with all the dumb rumors of their imminent demise. Look at the way she looks at him. Why would she fake this? It’s not like she gains anything by pretending to date someone. I can’t even get my girlfriend to make me a fuckin sandwich, much less put on a tight leather dress and pretend to fawn all over me.
(hq jump here. 18 more here. image source = getty)
The Quentin Tarantino / Brad Pitt WWII movie “Inglourious Basterds” had it’s Berlin premiere yesterday, and that’s not just an unfortunate picture of Pitt at the after-party up top. OK! says he and beer were there until around 2am. Your liver turns black if you drink too much. Maybe if he keeps going Angelina will adopt it.
(hq jump here. source = wenn)
MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY - his wife is pregnant for the second time, just 11 months after giving birth to their first child. I hope he still has time to make a shitty romantic comedy every six weeks. One where he and his ex-girlfriend are both lawyers and they end up going against each other would be amazing, and of course some kind of reverse “My Fair Lady” with him and Anne Hathaway needs to be done, just because Hollywood thrives on completely retarded ideas. (source = e! online)
INGLORIOUS BASTERDS - the brand new second trailer is out (see it here), and Hitler seems really upset. I should send over a Pick Me Up bouquet. It has bright daisies in a colorful keepsake vase.
MEL B - celebrated her 34th birthday this weekend at the MGM pool in Vegas. That deck looks too slippery to be wearing heels. She should take her top off and dry it. (7 more pics here. hq jump here. image source = splash news online)
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - donated $1 million to a U.N. agency providing aid to refugees in Pakistan. This is just days after they gave the same amount to a hospital in Missouri. In a related story, Jennifer Lopez rolled down the window of her limo and yelled, “Why don’t you get a house, jerk!” to a homeless guy, then high-fived her friends as the driver sped away. (source = the ap)
JON GOSSELIN - was caught smoking what looks to be a joint. Luckily that’s legal if you’re married to Kate Gosselin, which he is. (source = radar)
ELLE MACPHERSON - as the worlds hottest 45-year-old dropped her kids off at school in London, this guy with the scooter had to feel even cooler than he usually does. I hope she doesn’t blow him right there, right in front of the kids. (14 more pics from today and Saturday = here. hq jump = here. source = wenn, fame and getty)
WEEKEND BOX OFFICE - The Hangover is the first movie of the summer to be number 1 two weeks in a row, adding 33m to its 105m total. Up was second with 30m (187m total), and Pelham 1 2 3 opened in one two third with 25m. Hopefully Zach Galifianakis will now be the huge star he deserves to be. It would also be terrific if this somehow led to Kate Beckinsale letting me nail her in the ass. (source = Variety)
BRAD PITT AND ANGELINA JOLIE - gave 1 million dollars to a children’s hospital in Pitts home state of Missouri. The cancer center there will be renamed the Jane Pitt Pediatric Cancer Center, in honor of Brads mom. And the psyche ward, specializing in obsession and paranoid delusion, will be renamed in honor of Brads ex-wife. Zing! (e! online)
ANNA PAQUIN - went topless on last nights episode of True Blood. And this time I can prove it. Not like all those times before, when I would lie about having topless pictures of Anna Paquin on True Blood to sound like a big shot. (full size NSFW version here, slightly brighter uhq copy here)
BRITNEY SPEARS - is officially dating her agent, Jason Trawick. “They are totally and definitely dating,” a source tells People. “He’s the best thing that’s happened to her.” Well, yeah, but, how hard was that? Basically if he doesn’t push her down the stairs she’ll think he’s David Niven.
No one has any idea who that is, do they?
BRAD PITT - paid 1M for a 9-ft painting called Etappe. This. It sounds expensive but many feel he got a good deal. It would have cost more, except it’s a complete piece of shit. (source = daily mail)
GISELE BUNDCHEN - I don’t want to cock-block the Victoria’s Secret photographer, but someone should tell Giselle about lenses. You don’t need to dry hump the model to get a close-up. She must wonder why Tom Brady doesn’t answer when she watches games through binoculars too. “Toom? Anzer me. Iz me, Gizelle. I’m right nezt to yoo.” (hq jump)
